


Broken

by dilemmaed



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Drama, Drama & Romance, Eventual Romance, F/M, Feels, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Forbidden Love, Hogwarts, Hogwarts Sixth Year, Love, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Romance, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-16
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-06-11 10:59:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 32
Words: 104,500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15314034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dilemmaed/pseuds/dilemmaed
Summary: Everyone's got a secret. Some are just... darker than others. Katherine Creswell is going into her 6th year at Hogwarts and she can feel that something is different. There was talk that Hogwarts was no longer safe, that it could no longer protect the students within. One of those students being Draco Malfoy, prefect, pureblood and Slytherin, who has hated Katherine and her three best friends, Harry, Ron and Hermione, since their first year at Hogwarts. He seemed broken, stranger, distancing himself from the throne he built himself. Katherine notices this, drawing her to him, causing her become infatuated with him. She refused to believe that he could be as bad as everyone made him out to be, especially Harry who believed with all of his heart that he was a Death Eater. Sure, Draco was pompous, stuck-up and arrogant, but surely he couldn't be a follower of Voldemort, a Death Eater; he was just a boy. Kat always tried to see the best in people even if they couldn't see it themselves. She always thought that under his layer of darkness, there was light within him. There had to be...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi,
> 
> So, this is my first work on here and I'm excited to post it. Let me know what you think down in the comments; I'm extremely open to feedback. This is a story I've been working on for a long time and I hope that you enjoy it:)
> 
> Thanks and happy reading,  
> Em

 

I hold my father’s hand as he sleeps a restless sleep. My mother is sitting the chair opposite me, pushing the hair out of his face. I look up at the ceiling and let up a sigh. I breathe in the sterile air of St. Mungo’s; I hate this place. My dad is the only reason I don’t complain. As painful as it is, I like seeing him, being with him. 

Sixteen years ago, my father, William Creswell, was tortured by… Voldemort to let up information on where the Potters were hiding. He never told him where they were. Some say he suffered a fate worse than death. He can’t do much, say much anymore. He doesn’t remember much either. He went from being one of the most powerful wizards and aurors of all time to barely being able to remember, let alone utter, his own daughter’s name. 

My mum, Rosie Creswell was greatly affected by as we call it, ‘The Incident’. She loves my father very much, meaning that she took it harder than anyone. Sometimes she seems okay, but others she’s either practically mad or can’t even get out of bed. 

“Katherine, it’s time to go.” My mother says. I nod and give my dad’s hand a squeeze before replying, “Yes mum.” I pause and turn to look at my father one last time before leaving. “Bye Dad, I love you.” I sigh and put my hand out for my mum to take. I prepare myself as she reaches for me.

I hold my breath as I gain the sensation of being pulled violently through a narrow tube. When the image of the kitchen takes place I allow myself to breathe. I resist the urge to retch and close my eyes for a moment. Apparating always makes me feel like I’m going to vomit.

I enter my room whilst pulling off my jumper. I glance at the open trunk sitting in the middle of my floor and decide that I should probably finish packing for tomorrow. Tomorrow, I go back to Hogwarts; tomorrow, I go home. I get to see my three best friends: Harry, Ron and Hermione. Things are so much different than when I met them on the Hogwarts Express back when we were eleven. It was simpler then. Now I’m entering my sixth year at Hogwarts and Voldemort has returned and people are going missing again, just like the last time.

As I put the last of my things into my trunk, I’m reminded of something that I forgot to do. Mum was in such a rush to get me home and out to the Burrow, that I forgot to say goodbye to one of my dearest friends, whom I never see at Hogwarts as much as I do over the summer: Neville Longbottom. Neville and I have always had a special sort of bond; he’s the only one who understands what it’s like to see my dad the way he is. Both of his parents are the way my dad is, as the Death Eater Bellatrix Lestrange tortured them for information as well, but they never gave in. 

Neville and I spend most of the summer together, trying to make the best out of the situation that we can. We’ve been friends all of our lives, since we’ve spent more time at St. Mungo’s than at our own homes. It saddens me though, that we’re not as close in school as we are outside of it. Neville is a rather shy boy, although not around me. I sigh and make a mental note to apologize when I see him. 

I change out of my clothes and into a charcoal jumper and a pair of jeans. I look at myself in the mirror for a moment, flattening out my jumper. I run my hand through my dark brown hair as my mum calls me from downstairs, “Katherine, bring your trunk down!” She hollers. I smile as I struggle to drag my trunk down the narrow staircase. I’m going to the Burrow tonight, since my mother decided she wants to spend this September 1st with my dad, at St. Mungo’s. It bothers me that I won’t be able to say goodbye on the platform, but I can’t do anything to stop her.

She wraps her arms around me and hugs me tight. I kiss her on the cheek, then she says, “Promise me you’ll be safe.” I smile and reply, “Of course, mum.” She gives me a tight smile and hugs me again. “I love you so much.” I nod. “I love you too.” I take her hand and brace myself for what’s to come. “I’ll see you at Christmas.” I say. She nods, tears filling her eyes. There’s fear in them too, an emotion oh too common these days.

I stand walk into the fireplace and hold onto my trunk with one hand. I smile at my mum and clearly say, “The Burrow!” I see a burst of light and then I’m standing in the Weasleys’ fireplace. I step out and into the kitchen, where I feel the warmth of their home take over me. Hermione catches my eye and I smile wide and wrap my arms around her tightly. “Katherine, I missed you so much.” She says. “I missed you too, Hermione.”

Hermione cringes slightly, as a particularly throaty voice comes out from behind her. “Katherine! ‘Ow great it iz to zee you again!” I throw on a smile as the elegant figure of Fleur Delacour pushes Hermione out of the way to pull my in for an awkward hug, placing a kiss on my cheek. “Nice to see you too, Fleur!” I say politely. Ginny gave me word over holiday that Bill and Fleur were engaged to be married, much to hers, Hermione’s and Mrs. Weasley’s dismay. Although, it took me a little while to riddle it out, since Ginny never used her real name, only referring to her by Phlegm. 

Mrs. Weasley gives me one of her famously enormous hugs before asking, “Katherine darling! How’s Mum and Dad?” She asks, a warm smile plastered on her rosy face. “They’re pretty much the same. Mum is Mum, you know. Both of them have days better than others.” She nods, understandingly. “Well, yes. Send them my best won’t you? I don’t get out of the house as much anymore, but I’d love to sit down with your mother.” I smile, “Of course.”

Hermione grabs my hand and drags me upstairs into Ron’s room, where Harry and Ron sit around a burning copy of  _ The Daily Prophet _ on it. Harry immediately stands up and runs to me, “Kat.” He pauses, practically falling into my arms. “It’s good to see you.” He says. “I missed you so much.” I say. Harry and I have always been so close. Circumstance has brought us closer; we understand each other. I give Ron a big hug as well before sitting down next to them on the floor.

We all catch up, as letters have become less and less since Voldemort’s been gaining followers and favor in the Ministry. “So Harry’s quidditch captain this year; I’m surprised you didn’t get the position Kat.” Ron says. “Actually…” I pause to pull a pin out of my pocket and hand it to him. “We’re co-captains.” I say. He nods, “Congratulations Katherine.”  Hermione and Ron say at the same time.

“Are you trying out this year, Ron?” I ask. He takes a sip of pumpkin juice and nods, “I’m going out for keeper this year. I might actually have a shot. I’ve been practicing all summer out back.” I smile. “He practices all summer and still manages to be absolute rubbish.” Says a voice from behind me. 

I turn around to see Fred and George, grinning. “Oh shut up.” Ron says, hitting George in the legs with his pillow. I stand up and they both hug me, sandwiching me between the twins. “God, we missed you. Ron’s so dull; I’m glad to have someone interesting around.” I laugh as Ron hits Fred with the pillow this time. “Oy!” Fred says. “Anyway.” George says, kicking Ron away, “Mum has asked us to gather you guys for supper.”

We sit at the table and eat the meal Molly prepared for us, which is ten times better than anything I eat at home; Mum’s not a very good cook, to be honest, although, she doesn’t cook much anymore. Most of my meals consist of hospital food from St. Mungo’s, as we spend most of the summer there, visiting my dad.

As much as I loved the meal, the conversation/lecture on how Hogwarts might not be as safe as it used to be really didn’t strike my fancy. Hogwarts is more like home than my home is. I refuse to believe that it’s no longer safe. As long as Dumbledore’s still around, Hogwarts is still safe, protected.

We go up to bed early and honestly I’m quite glad; seeing my dad always tires me out. Hermione and I get ready to go to bed and head into Ginny’s room, where she’s already in bed, reading a letter dropped off to her earlier. I bet it’s from Dean Thomas, since she’s smiling ear to ear.

“How is your dad? Really?” Hermione whispers to me from our shared bed. I shrug, “Honestly, I don’t know. Something’s changed since last year, I can see it in his eyes.” She sighs. “I’m sorry Katherine.” I shake my head, “It is what it is.” I let out a long breath. I’ll be home soon; I’ll be at Hogwarts. It’s then when I close my eyes and allow sleep to overcome me.

 


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I don't really know what to put here lmao

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a longer chapter than the first one
> 
> Let me know what you think of the story down in the comments
> 
> -Em:)

I wake to the sound of Ron loudly stomping through the hallways, looking for something. “Can’t you just be prepared for once in your life Ronald? You’re going to make us all late!” Hermione nagged him. “I had more important things to do than pack this summer Hermione, so excuse me.” Ron hollers. “Doing what exactly? Sitting on your ass eating pumpkin pasties? Unlike you, I got a head start on the year, studying for my N.E.W.Ts.” I can practically see Ron rolling his eyes at her. They’re always bickering, but the truth of the matter is, Hermione likes Ron, but being Ron, he’s too oblivious to notice anything that doesn’t have to do with his next meal. The yelling hasn’t stopped, so I decide to get up. I peek my head out of the door and scream, “Stop fighting you two! Shut up!!” I look down the hallway to see Harry. “I second that!” He says.

  
I put on the same clothes I had on last night because, honestly they’re not really dirty and I’m going to change once I’m on the train anyway. I put on the bare minimum of makeup, just some foundation and some mascara, before going downstairs for some breakfast. I didn’t eat much because I’m way too anxious to get back to school. Ron on the other hand, ate enough for the both of us in about seven minutes.

  
I put the few things I took out back into my trunk before lugging it down the stairs. We’re all starting to rush now, since it’s 10:40 am and the train leaves at 11:00 am sharp. I say my goodbyes to Bill and Phlegm, putting on my best smile as I continue to struggle with my overstuffed trunk. We each one by one step into the fireplace before clearly stating, “King’s Cross Station.” As I arrive at the station, Harry grabs my arm and pulls me out of the fireplace almost as quickly as I got there and good thing too, because Ginny appeared less than five seconds later. “Thanks.” I say with a smile. “Anytime.” He replies.

  
Once we all arrived, we hurry along with our trolleys through King’s Cross to get to the barrier between platforms nine and ten. “C’mon now, train leaves in twelve minutes.” Mr. Weasley shouts to us as we approach the barrier. Molly walks through first, followed closely by Ginny. Harry and I look at each other with a grin plastered on our faces. I run through first and quickly move to the side as Harry appears. I’ll always be amazed by this place, Platform 9¾. The steam coming from the Hogwarts Express fills my lungs with familiarity.

  
We say our goodbyes to Molly, Arthur, Fred and George and then board the train each carrying a rucksack with clean robes. Ginny disappears as soon as she sees Dean, while Harry, Ron, Hermione and I find an empty compartment toward the middle of the train. Harry immediately locks the door and I furrow my eyebrows. “So what was Draco doing with that weird looking cabinet? And who were all those people. You see, it was a ceremony; an initiation.” Hermione cuts him off before he can finish “Stop it Harry; I know where you’re going with this.” She says, shaking her head. “It’s happened. He’s one of them–.”

  
This time, I cut him off, “Pardon me, but can someone explain what the bloody hell is going on?” It’s silent for a moment before Hermione speaks up. “Harry is under the impression that Draco Malfoy is now a Death Eater.” I laugh out loud before replying, “Bollocks!” Ron laughs a littles as well. “What’s You-Know-Who want with a sod like Malfoy?” Ron says, still chuckling a bit. “Then what’s he doing in Borgin and Burke’s, browsing for furniture?” Harry says, raising his eyebrows at Ron. “It’s a creepy shop; he’s a creepy bloke.” He replies, shrugging it off. “His father is a Death Eater; it only makes sense!” Harry says, starting to get angry. “Besides, Hermione saw it with her own eyes!” He continues. “I told you; I don’t know what I saw!” She denies before going back to reading her book.

  
“I’m going to go get some air.” Harry mutters before leaving the compartment. “What’s caused the stick up his ass?” Ron says. Harry doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Malfoy may be a prat at times, but that doesn’t make him a Death Eater. I shrug it off before stopping the trolley to get some sweets to hide in my room to eat throughout the year.

  
We eat some of my excess sweets and talk for awhile until there was a knock at the compartment door. For a minute I thought it was Harry, but I was completely mistaken when none other than Draco Malfoy was at the door, his blond hair unmistakable. His polished prefect badge gleams from the breast of his robes. “What do you want, Malfoy? Shouldn’t you be out torturing first years?” Ron says as he opens the door. “Trust me Weasel, I don’t want to be here any more than you want me to be here.” He spits, carrying a look of superiority as his eyes shift around the compartment. Hermione glares at him with pure hatred.

  
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not fond of Malfoy, but I don’t think he’s as bad as he lets on. As pretentious and assholic as he is, he’s also considerably attractive. I would say one of, if not the most attractive boys in our year. “Anyway, the new professor, Professor Slughorn, has me delivering these invitations.” He says, a bored and unamused look across his face. I recognize Slughorn’s name, since Harry had told us about him and how he had gone with Dumbledore to convince him to rejoin the staff here at Hogwarts. He looks down at the first card and hands it to me, “Creswell, this one’s yours.” I take it from him without a word. “Granger.” He says, tossing the next one to Hermione. “Here, I just washed my hands; I don’t want to dirty them by touching you, Mudblood.” He sneers. Ron goes to stand, but I grab his shoulder. Draco looks down and says, “This one’s Potter’s.” He speaks his name as if it’s poisonous, tossing it to Ron, who catches it. Before closing the compartment door, Draco’s grey eyes meet mine, but then quickly flick away, leaving me questioning the sparkle I saw within them.

  
As we begin to exit the train, I look around for Harry one last time. “Harry still isn’t back.” I say. “He must already be on the platform.” Ron says reassuringly, but for some reason I can’t shake my worried feeling. He’ll be alright; he’s always alright. As we enter the gates, Filch searches through all of our belongings and ourselves uncomfortably with Secrecy Sensors.

  
We walk to the Great Hall and sit at the Gryffindor table near Dean and Ginny. Throughout the meal, Hermione sits, tapping her fork against the table while I stare at Ron, who’s shoveling potatoes down his throat. After about twenty minutes of this, I hear the heavy door of the Great Hall open and the image of a white-blonde haired boy appears, Draco Malfoy, in its entrance. He flattens out his robes before walking in a strut to the Slytherin table and sitting down next to Pansy Parkinson and Goyle. Pansy's hands drape around him lazily, but doesn't look too interested in her.

~~~~~~~~

By the time dessert is served, my worry begins to grow. Where is he? Ron eats Jello spoon after spoon. Hermione hits him with her book and says, “Will you stop eating? Your best friend is missing!” He rolls his eyes before replying, “Oi, turn around, you lunatic.” Ron notions his head toward the doorway where Harry is standing with a towel in his hand, covered in blood.

  
“He’s covered in blood again. Why is it that he’s always covered in blood?” Ginny asks. “It looks like it’s his own this time.” I say as he approaches the table. Harry sits down next to me and everyone is staring at him. “What?” He asks, as if we don’t see the bloody towel he’s holding to his nose. “Harry, what happened to your face?” I ask, wiping blood off of his cheek. “It’s nothing. It’s a long story.” He dismisses me.

  
I shrug it off as Dumbledore starts his yearly opening speech, but from the expression on his face, I could tell this year it was going to be different. “Our caretaker, Mr. Filch has asked me to put a blanket ban on all joke items from a shop called Weasley Wizard’s Wheezes.” He gestures to Filch as Ron huffs, rolling his eyes as he shoves another bite of gateau into his mouth. “Also, I would like to take this moment to welcome a new member of our staff this year, Professor Slughorn–” Slughorn stands up, his belly pressing against the table, his bald head smiling profusely. “Who has agreed to resume his old post of Potions master.” Dumbledore says, a kind look on his face.

  
Whispers spread throughout the hall, “Potions?” Ron and Hermione say in unison, turning their heads to look at Harry at the same moment. “But you said–” Ron’s statement is interrupted by Dumbledore, “Professor Snape, meanwhile, will be taking over as position of Defense against the Dark Arts teacher.” With that, I almost choked on my pumpkin juice, my eyes bulging out of my head. “No!” Harry yelled, not caring who around us heard him. “But Harry, you said that Slughorn would be teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts!” I said, a look of disbelief still plastered on my face. “I thought he was!” He shouts, burying his head in his hands. “This is just great! Snape finally got what he wanted!” Ron says, shaking his head.

Harry looks up from his hands, smiling wickedly as if he had been imperiused, “There’s one good thing about this mess.” He pauses smacking his lips together before finishing his statement. “Snape’ll be gone by the end of the year.” Hermione furrows her eyebrows, giving Harry a rather confused look. “How do you figure that?” She asks. Harry’s vengeful smile returns, almost looking as if he was holding back an evil laugh. “That job’s jinxed. No one’s lasted more than a year… Quirrell actually died doing it… Personally, I’m going to keep my fingers crossed for another death.” I smack him almost too hard with my arm, “Harry!” He shrugs, grinning into his bowl of pudding as Dumbledore speaks once more, his face sobering as the silence returns.

  
“As you all know, you were searched upon your arrival here tonight and you have the right to know why.” He hesitates for a moment before continuing. “Once, there was young man, who, like you, sat in this very hall, walked this castle’s corridors, sat under its roof. He seemed to all the world, a student like any other. His name: Tom Riddle.” Immediately, there were whispers throughout the Great Hall. Harry and I lock eyes for a moment, holding the same look, worry.  
“Today, of course, he known all over the world, by another name. Which is why, as I stand looking out upon you all tonight, I am reminded by a sobering fact. Every day, every hour, this very minute perhaps, dark forces attempt to penetrate this castle’s walls. Though, in the end, their greatest weapon, is you. Just something to think about.” He pauses. “Now off to bed!” Dumbledore says, clapping his hands together.

  
We all get up and proceed out of the Great Hall and towards the common room. “That was cheerful.” Ron says, shaking his head. “Are you going to tell us what happened to your nose now, Harry?” Hermione asks, to which Harry shakes his head and replies, “It’s not important; don’t worry about it.” I look at her and shrug. He’s not going to tell us no matter what we and how many times we ask him, so we might as well quit while we’re ahead.

  
As we approach the Fat Lady, Ron states the password to her clearly, “Abstinence.” The portrait opens into the common room, which is already filled with Gryffindors. “Now I’ll tell you.” Harry says, pulling us into the corner. He proceeded to tell us how he had used the cloak to spy on Malfoy on the train to see if he could find out anything and how Malfoy had discovered him, petrifying him and breaking his nose. “Do you believe me, now?” he asks, his eyes wide. “Him breaking your nose hardly constitutes as Death Eater behavior, although it does explain all the mimicking about noses coming from him during the feast.” Ron says, shrugging. This seemed to annoy Harry, but he let it go, suggesting that we go to bed, as we have a long day tomorrow. I give Harry and Ron both tight hugs before turning the corridor to go into bed.

  
Hermione and I enter our room, which already has our belongings in it. I take out my blanket from home and lay it on my bed on top of the red and gold comforter. I change out of my robes, layer by layer, and into my pajamas. I then take off my makeup before getting into bed.  
I’m home, but it doesn’t feel the same anymore. It feels colder, emptier. “It’s going to be different this year, isn’t it?” I ask Hermione. “I’m afraid so.” She replies. I sigh, “I hoped that everyone would be wrong, saying that Hogwarts was no longer safe, but I’m starting to believe it.” She bites her lip before saying, “We’ll be okay Kat. We always are.”

  
We say goodnight to each other before Hermione says, “Nox.” It eradicates the remaining light in the room, leaving us in complete darkness. I close my eyes with the thought in my mind of whether or not we were safe here, but are we really safe anywhere anymore?


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So in this chapter, the story starts to pick up; Katherine and Draco have more interactions and

I wake to the brightness of the room, which is protruding through the open curtains. Hermione is in the bathroom brushing her teeth, already completely dressed. I force myself up and change slowly into my robes. Once Hermione is out of the bathroom, I fix my hair so that it’s slight waves aren’t as frizzy and brush my teeth. I put on my makeup as quickly as I can, since Hermione is waiting for me, whilst reading her Charms textbook. 

We walk downstairs into the common room, where Ron and Harry are sitting on the couch waiting for us. “C’mon I’m starving.” Harry says, rushing out the door and into the corridor. “I’m going to go to the bathroom; I’ll meet you guys in the Great Hall.” They all nod and proceed toward the Hall as I walk towards the second floor bathroom.

When I walk out of the bathroom, I turn the corridor and hit directly into someone. Next thing I know, I’m flat on my ass and can feel someone looking down at me. I look up to see the piercing grey eyes of Draco Malfoy staring at me. “So–” He begins to grumble, but then stops himself, as if he realized at that second who he was talking to. “Watch where you’re walking, Creswell.” 

"No, I'm fine. I can get up by myself. No need to help me." I say rolling my eyes at him. I stand up and brush the dirt off of my skirt as he continues to stare at me blankly. "Always the gentleman, Malfoy." I add. He keeps his hard look, but bites his lip as if he has something to say. “Are you going to say something or are you just wasting my time?” I ask. He just rolls his eyes and replies, “Not to you.”

He walks away to leave me standing in the corridor alone. Did Draco Malfoy just almost apologize to me? He couldn’t have; that's impossible. Maybe he just didn't realize that it was me. 't hates me and he has since the day he met me. Why do I even care? I dismiss the thought and proceed to walk to the Great Hall for breakfast. 

I sit down next to Ron and he hands me my timetable for this year. “We have four classes with Slytherin this year.” He groans. “Well, Harry and I only have three.” He adds. “Which ones?” I ask. “History of magic, defense against the dark arts, charms and you and Hermione have potions with them.” He replies. I look down at the timetable in front of me to see what we have first, which is history of magic. “Professor Binns’ voice this early in the morning will not be easy.” I say. 

When we arrive in the classroom, Binns is arranging our seats into tables of four. “Pansy Parkinson.” He says, pointing to a table to his left. “Ronald Weasley.” As Ron walks up to the table, he shoots us a glare as we all snicker at him. I look at him and mouth, ‘good luck’ to which he rolls his eyes. Professor Binns looks down at his sheet of paper once more and says, “Katherine Creswell.” Harry gives me a shove on the back and I elbow him in the gut. He gives me a big sarcastic smile as I sit down next to Ron. 

As I glance at the empty seat to my right, Professor Binns speaks again, “Draco Malfoy.” I grimace and force myself to look at Ron. He sniggers at me, mimicking my words, “Good luck.” I sigh and reply, “This is bollocks.” Draco swaggers across the classroom before swiftly sliding into the chair. “Long time no see, Creswell.” He says with a smirk playing across his lips. “Sod off, Malfoy.” I say. “Well, I guess you won’t be needing this then.” He says, notioning to under the desk, where he’s holding my wand in his slender pale fingers. “Where the bloody hell did you get that?” I ask, snatching the wand back from him, causing him to gain a satisfactory look on his face. “I found it in the corridor after you crashed into me and fell on your ass.” He laughs. I shoot him a look to which he completely shuts up.

Professor Binns begins to teach, causing the majority of the class to fall asleep due to his overly monotone voice. I try my best to take notes as he goes on about the house elf trade. I look over at Hermione who’s taking notes tentatively as Harry is trying to copy off of her from the table behind her. I’m not as great a student as Hermione is, but I try my hardest. I’m quite smart though; I got all Outstandings on my O.W.Ls last year with the exception of Divination, which I only got an Acceptable, not that I cared, allowing me to take whichever N.E.W.Ts I wanted.

Ron keeps falling asleep and leaning all over my parchment, so every time he does, I smack him on the shoulder, causing him to wake with a start. Malfoy seems to think it's quite funny, as he sniggers into his notes. When Binns finishes speaking, he claps his hands together, waking up everyone who fell asleep. “Alright, tomorrow, you’re going to be paired with the person next to you of the opposite house to do a twenty scroll report and oral presentation on the house elf trade using books from the library as well as the notes you’ve taken today. It’s due the day before Christmas holiday.” He says.

I let out an audible sigh as so does Ron. It’s going to be a hell of a lot harder to ignore Draco now that we have to work together. “I hope you took good notes today, partner.” He says, with an arrogant wink. I gather my things and leave the room, grumbling to myself. “Well, this is just fantastic.” Ron says. “The assignment itself is already bollocks. To make matters worse, I have Pansy Parkinson as my partner. I’m on my own.” Harry puts a hand on his back and says, “Relax, you could be Kat. She’s partners with Malfoy.” He pauses for a moment and turns to me. “My condolences.” He says, causing me to roll my eyes. “I got lucky, I guess. I have Millicent Bulstrode. She may not help much, but she’s better than what you lot have.” He says. “I’ve got Blaise. Not that it matters anyway; I’ll be doing it by myself.” Hermione says. 

 

~~~~~~~~

 

The rest of the day was pretty much a blur until potions. As Hermione and I walked into the classroom, I noticed how different it looked from when Professor Snape had the position. The room is a lot larger now, and seemingly less cluttered. As we find out places, my eye catches on Draco, who is standing there, not doing anything particularly interesting, but he seems to be staring into space. I wouldn’t say he’s staring at me, but he’s almost gazing past me. He stands next to Theodore Nott, another one of the few Slytherins taking NEWT level potions this year. I’m almost surprised he’s taking as many NEWT level classes as he is; he makes himself seem rather unintelligent.

Professor Slughorn is a rather stout man, whom, by the look of him, doesn’t seem like a particularly talented potioneer, let alone a wizard. I try to push that aside as I approach him. “Ah, Ms. Creswell. I was pleased to find out I would be teaching you. I absolutely adored your mother. Did you get my invitation?”, he says with a big smile shaking my hand vigorously. “Yes professor, I was delighted to receive it.” I say with a slight smile. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Malfoy sneering slightly, as he must not have received an invitation despite having to distribute them.

We all gather around a table where Slughorn has placed out six cauldrons with various potions in them. He talks about each one individually; every question asked is answered by Hermione. I knew most of the answers as well, but I don’t want to appear as a know-it-all to Slughorn on the first day. Potions, although not my favorite subject, was one I generally excelled in. 

As Slughorn was beginning to talk about the sixth potion, Harry and Ron stagger through the door, neither looking particularly amused to be here. “Harry ma boy! I was beginning to worry that you weren’t coming!” He pauses and turns to Ron. “And you brought a friend, I see.” He looks Ron up and down. “Ron Weasley, Sir. I’m dead awful at potions, a menace actually–.” Slughorn cuts him off before he could finish. “Nonsense! Take out your books.” He says. “You see Professor, I haven’t gotten my book yet, nor has Ron.” Harry says. “Not a problem. Go get them from the cupboard.” They both nod and walk over to the back of the room to go and retrieve their textbooks. 

Why are they here? I look at Hermione with a confused look and she shrugs and mouths, ‘no idea’. Harry and Ron return and stand behind me, waiting for Slughorn to continue the lesson. “Would anyone like to tell me what this potion is?” He says, removing the top off of a medium sized cauldron. Hermione’s hand shoots up immediately. Although I don’t raise my hand, I can tell right away what the potion is. The scent makes my heart flutter. “Amortentia, sir; the most powerful love potion in the world. It’s rumored to smell different to each person according to what attracts them.” She pauses and inhales. “For example, I smell freshly mown grass, parchment, spearmint, and toothpaste.” Hermione breathes out. 

I take in the scent once more, recognizing immediately what they are: peppermint, fresh linen, vanilla, a crackling fire and cinnamon. “Amortentia doesn’t create actual love; that would be impossible, but it does create powerful infatuation or obsession. For that reason, it is probably the most dangerous potion in this room.” Slughorn says, covering the cauldron, causing the smell to dissipate. “Alright go to your cauldrons.” He says with a clap of his hands.

“But sir, you haven’t told us what’s in that one.” Katie Bell says from behind me, pointing to a small, teardrop shaped phial. Slughorn unscrews the potion from where it has been suspended and holds it up. “Ah yes. What you see before you is a curious little potion known as Felix Felicis. More commonly referred to as–.” He’s cut off by Hermione. “Liquid Luck.” He nods. “Yes, Ms. Granger, Liquid Luck. Desperately tricky to make; disastrous if you get it wrong. One sip and you will find that all of your endeavors succeed.”

He pauses before continuing. “Now this is what I offer each of you today. One tiny vial of Liquid Luck for the student whom in the hour that remains, manages to brew an acceptable draught of Living Death. The recipe can be found on page ten of your books. Good luck to you all.” He says, ushering us all to our cauldrons. I see Malfoy's face light up, looking determined to retrieve the reward. It's almost a scary look on him. I want that potion, but I know Hermione will probably be the one to get it. 

I look at the recipe and get ready to begin.

  1. Add the Infusion of Wormwood.
  2. Add the powdered root of asphodel.
  3. Stir twice clockwise.
  4. Add the sloth brain.
  5. Add the Sopophorous bean's juice.
  6. Stir seven times anti-clockwise.



I complete the first four steps with ease, but am absolutely bewildered with the fifth step, though it seems everyone else is as well. I try to cut the bean, but it keeps slipping away. Even Hermione seems not to be able to cut it, her hair rising to twice its size. I glance over at Harry, who's always been beyond horrible at potions. He’s managed to somehow, add the bean juice into the potion. I hold the bean with my left hand and move to stab it with the knife with right, when the bean slips and I stab my hand all the way through, causing blood to gush out.

I notion Slughorn over by raising my hand. “Professor?” I say. “Yes Ms. Cre–. Oh dear, why we should probably get you to Madam Pomfrey.” He says. I nod as he turns around and puts his hand on Malfoy's  arm. “Mr. Malfoy, could you be so kind as to escort Ms. Creswell to the hospital wing?” Draco turns around to see my hand, bleeding rapidly, and nods without a second thought, but adds in a deep sigh. He looked caught for a moment between his desire for the prize of Liquid Luck and his need to impress the new Potions professor, who didn’t seem to be taking a liking to him. I roll my eyes; of course, out of everyone in the entire classroom, he had to pick him. I don’t even need an escort.

As we walk out, Malfoy hands me a rag, which I wrap around my hand to try and stop the bleeding. “Thanks.” I say in a monotone voice. “You really are clumsy aren’t you?” He says smugly. “What’s it to  _ you _ ?” I snap back. “It’s not.” He replies. We don’t say anything else on the walk to the hospital wing. It’s strange that he didn’t oppose Professor Slughorn’s request to escort me. He seems different this year. His cheeks are sunken in a bit, but not so much that he’s less attractive. His body seems as if it’s shrunk, although it could be the way he’s standing. The way he carries himself is different, as if there’s shame among all the pride in being a Malfoy, since Lucius has been incarcerated only a few months ago.

When we walk into the hospital wing, Madam Pomfrey rushes over immediately. “Oh Katherine dear, what happened this time?” She says, genuinely concerned by the amount of blood on the rag. Draco’s snickering in the corner, maybe he hasn’t changed after all. I glare at him as I speak, “I was brewing a Draught of Living Death and I sliced my hand open by accident.” She nods as she unwraps my hand, revealing the long, deep slice across my palm. She cleans the blood off with some cotton before taking out a bottle of dittany. As she squeezes the dropper onto my open hand, I bite back a small yelp. No matter how many times I’ve used dittany, the initial pain never lessens. I watch fascinated, as the skin and tissue on my hand regenerates before my eyes.

On the walk back to the dungeons, I start the inevitably awkward conversation. “You do know we’re actually going to have to work together on this presentation, Malfoy?” I ask, looking down at my hand, where the cut now looks days old, but still aches a bit. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Draco nodding, “I know. I’m not stupid.” He says in almost an offended tone. “I didn’t say that, but, um, we should probably get started on it.” I say, trying to make some sort of an effort to be civil. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see his face scrunch up a bit. “All right.” He pauses, contemplating his next statement. “We’ll meet tomorrow after classes in southwest corner of the library.” He says. I wasn’t expecting him to offer to work so soon, but I nod anyway.

As we enter the classroom, Draco mutters something to me, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Creswell. Merlin help us if every conversation we have is this bloody awkward.” I look to see a smirk plastered on his face as he returns to Crabbe and Goyle. 

We gather around Slughorn once again at the end of the class, where Harry, who got exceeds expectations on his potions OWL, is retrieving the teardrop shaped vial of Liquid Luck. Hermione looks absolutely furious as he grins widely as he graciously accepts the reward. “Use it well.” Slughorn said to him. Harry nods, but I suspect he’s not really listening.

He slips the vial into his pocket as we follow him out of the classroom. “Harry what the hell?” Hermione says with a rather angry look on her face. Her cheeks are flustered, carrying a shade of pink. “What did I do?” He asks, although I think he already knows. “You didn’t even have high enough marks to get into potions in the first place? How are you all of a sudden so fantastic at it?” She says, her jaw clenched. He shrugs. “Maybe it’s Slughorn. He’s a much better teacher than Snape.” Hermione rolls her eyes at the thought. “Maybe you’re just not as good as you think you are, Mione.” Ron says. She shoots him a glare before storming away from us. “Really guys?” I ask to which they shrug.

When we go back to the common room, we sit around the hearth on the floor. Hermione has yet to join us, but I suspect she’s either in our room or the library. Harry has been reading his potions textbook since we got back, which seems to have more information than just the standard one. I sit next to him and try to sneak a peek but, to my dismay, he turns the book out of my vision. "Why can't I see it?" I ask, trying to grab it from him. "Because it's mine." He says, laughing. 

“How’s your hand?” He says, taking my left hand, holding it palm side up to look at the slice. “It’s fine.” I say, as he runs his finger over it, causing me to shudder. “I said it’s fine; I didn’t say touch it.” I nag him. He shrugs and utters a quiet ‘sorry’. “How was Malfoy?” He says with a smirk. I elbow him in the gut before saying, “Well Harry, first, he showed me his dark mark and then he asked me to help him practice the cruciatus curse on the third years.” He rolls his eyes at me before returning to his book. "I'm serious, Katherine." He mutters under his breath. "Be careful." 

I stare into the fire, not being able to focus on the book I checked out of the library. My mind drifts all over the place, subject to subject, but never landing on one in particular. I sigh, leaning my head on Harry’s shoulder. This is going to be a long year; I can feel it.

 


	4. Chapter Four

“All right.” I say, forcing myself off of the couch in the common room. “I have to go meet Malfoy to work on our presentation.” I groan. Ron makes a disgusted face. “Why are you starting it so soon?” He asks. “Because Ronald, the sooner we start, the sooner we finish.” I quip. He rolls his eyes. “Well, I’m delaying working with Pugsley Parkinson until the last possible minute.” He retorts as I let out a laugh.

I grab my books and head towards the door. “I’ll be back soon.” I say, as the door is shutting behind me. My walk to the library is slow, as I’m delaying the study session as long as possible. I turn the corridor and instantly gain a smile on my face. “Neville!” I say, wrapping my arms around him. He smiles at me, “Oy! You didn’t say goodbye to me!” He says in a sarcastic tone. “I’m so sorry; you know how Mum gets. She rushed me out and I didn’t realize until after I was already gone.” I say, putting on my best pleading face. “Fine, I forgive you, but only if you give me one of the chocolate frogs you’ve been hiding in your trunk.” He says, laughing. “All right. I’ll give you one later, but right now I’ve got to go.”

I walk into the library and smile at Madam Pince as I pass her. I reach the southwest corner, where I’m supposed be meeting Malfoy any minute. As I sit down, I’m starting to realize why he picked this spot; it’s completely empty, so that he wouldn’t be seen with the likes of me. I’m absolutely dreading this; I can already see me working by myself as he levitates books. I open books and begin to research the topic, taking out a fresh roll of parchment to take notes on. 

“All right, let’s get this over with.” A voice says from behind me. I turn around to see Malfoy, pulling his materials out of his rucksack. He’s dressed in a long sleeved dark grey shirt, that looks as if it was made for him, and a simple pair of jeans. It was strange seeing him dressed so relaxed. He sits down next to me and takes out a quill.

We worked together, him reading the material out to me as I took down short-handed notes, which we’ll later use to make an outline. He’s surprisingly easier to work with than I thought. He’s even come up with a few ideas on how we should organize the information. “I’m surprised, Malfoy.” I say. He furrowed his eyebrows, “Surprised about what?” He asks, looking hopelessly confused. “You can’t get offended.” I point at him. He rolls his eyes and nods slightly. “I’m surprised that you’re actually good at this, helping.” I say. 

He raises his eyebrows, giving me a look I can’t quite place. “You do know I’m intelligent and capable right?” He asks, looking quite serious. I shrug. “I don’t know; you’re friends with Crabbe and Goyle and they’re not exactly smart.” He nods in agreement as the look on his face fades away. “Fair enough, Creswell.” He says. 

We keep working for what feels like hours, but we also talk here and there. “Are you trying out for quidditch this year, Creswell?” He says, as I look up from the parchment to see his blue-grey eyes looking at me. “Of course. I’m actually co-captain this year.” He nods. He doesn’t ask who the other captain is because he probably already knows it’s Harry. “Are you trying out this year, Malfoy?” I add. He looks down at the book in front of him and shakes his head. “No.” He pauses. “I’ve got other things to do this year.” As confused as I am, I don’t question him. Although he isn’t the best seeker, Malfoy had always seemed to enjoy quidditch. 

After a while, we leave the library and walk down the empty corridor side by side. It’s later than I intended to leave, but we got the rest of our homework done as well. He looks down at the floor before speaking, “You know, Katherine, you’re not such a bad partner.” He called me by my first name. He’s never done that before; I’ve always been Creswell, never Katherine. I give him a weak smile, before replying, “You’re not so bad yourself, Malfoy.” He gives me a smile, but it’s different from the ones I’ve seen in the past. It looks softer, kinder than it has before. I wish this could be the smile on his face all of the time. It makes him look handsome, not that he wasn’t always handsome. I think he notices I’m staring because his smile fades quickly. 

When we reach the staircase, we part ways, him going down, me going up. “This is where I leave you.” I say, as I begin to walk up the stairs. “Goodnight Katherine.” He calls up to me. I stand in shock for a moment in hearing my first name slip through his lips. “Goodnight Draco.” I reply as I turn around to see him disappear into the corridor below.

As I walked, I thought about how maybe I was right and Harry was wrong. Maybe he wasn’t as bad as everyone made him out to be. He seems pleasant enough when we’re alone. I know he’s still an ass most of the time and he’s prejudice toward muggleborns squibs and practically everyone, but there’s something about him, something seems… familiar, but I can’t put my finger on it. I don’t know how to feel about him anymore.

“Abstinence.” I say to the Fat Lady, who looks quite angry that I interrupted her song. “Make it quick.” She says, letting me through the door. I’m greeted by three pairs of eyes staring at me from the sofa. “Katherine, where were you at dinner?” Hermione says, her eyes deep with worry. “Calm down Hermione. I was in the library; I just lost track of time. Nothing happened, don’t worry.” I say, as she releases a deep breath. I look over to Harry who doesn’t seem as convinced, even though it’s true. “You sure about that?” He asks, raising his eyebrows at me. I sit down onto the sofa next to Ron and look at Harry.  “Yes Harry, He asked me if I wanted to join the cause and then I had sex with Malfoy.” I say sarcastically, but he doesn’t seem to find it as amusing as Ron.

“I’m just making sure Kat. The last thing I need is you fraternizing with a Death Eater right now.” He says as I roll my eyes. “I’m telling you; he isn’t a Death Eater. There’s no way.” I reply. “Whatever.” He says, returning to the book to which he’s practically attached to. I managed to catch a glimpse of it the other day; it's covered in handwritten notes, tricks and tips that aren't in the real edition of the textbook. 

“I’d like to know whose that book was.” I say to him, pointing to the textbook. He looks up and shrugs. “No one’s.” I shake my head. “Give it here.” I say, causing him to stand up. “No.” He says, shaking his head, walking to the other side of the room, away from me. “No?” I repeat, standing up and following him. "Did you really just tell me no?" I try to move closer to him, but he keeps backing up. “The binding is fragile.” He says to which I raise my eyebrows at him. I let out a noise of disbelief. 

Hermione looks up from the book she’s reading and repeats, “The binding is fragile?” Her eyebrows are furrowed and she give Harry a look as to say, 'what a load of bollocks'. “Give it here.” I say again, hoping this time he’d hand it over. Harry rarely withheld things from me; we told each other practically everything. He shakes his head and puts the book behind his back. Ginny sneaks behind him without his notice grabs it. He runs to chase after her, but she’s already opened the book to read the name. “Who’s the Half-Blood Prince?” She says, looking him dead in the eyes. “The what?” Hermione and I say in unison. “That’s what it says here; ‘this book is property of the Half-Blood Prince’.” Ginny says, as she tosses the book back to Harry. "I don't know." He says, shrugging. Half-Blood Prince? Who the bloody hell was the Half-Blood Prince?

 

~~~~~~~~

 

Yesterday, Malfoy was missing from classes as well as meals. I felt worried almost and I didn’t know why. I’ve never cared about him before and he certainly doesn’t care about me, but for some reason or another, the worry is nagging me. It’s not like we’re friends or really even talk.

As we head to history of magic today, I’m almost walking too fast. I know I shouldn’t care, but I want to know if he’s here. “Merlin, slow down Katherine.” Harry says, struggling to keep up with me. “Sorry.” I say, but don’t slow myself. “Seriously, is there something wrong?” Hermione asks. I shake my head and reply, “No, why?” She speeds up to stand next to me. “You just seem out of sorts today.” She says. “I’m fine, never better actually.” I say with a smile as we enter the classroom. 

I slow down as I see a flicker of the unmistakable platinum blonde hair of Draco Malfoy. I sit down next to him just as Ron catches up with me. “You’re as bad as Hermione, running to get to the a class, let alone this one.” He says, elbowing me. “Am not!” I argue, but it probably seems that way to him. I’d rather him think that I’m turning into Hermione than looking for Malfoy.

My eyes land on the blond-haired boy as I’m reaching for my quill. He looks pale, paler than usual, I mean; he looks almost sickly. He looks at me; his eyes look tired, dark bags circle his blue-grey irises. “Where were you yesterday?” I ask, almost immediately regretting it. “Why do you care?” He asks, trying to sound snarky, but instead sounds flat and miserable. “I don’t I just wanted to see if you wanted to work on the presentation and you weren’t here.” He shrugs. “Oh.” He breathes out. 

He doesn’t say anything to me other than he’s not really up to working on the presentation today, which, by the look of him, seems a bit obvious. He doesn’t smile, laugh, or even snicker as Ron fell asleep today. I could see there was something missing; something different about him. I could see it in his eyes, which lacked their usual sparkle. 

The rest of the day I couldn’t get him off of my mind and I didn’t know why. I wanted to know what was wrong and I wanted to comfort him. I wanted him to smile again, the beautiful smile, not his trademark smirk. I don’t what to think or what to do. I couldn’t talk to anyone about it; they’d think I’m mad. I try to convince myself that is just Malfoy and that nothing was different. That there was no need to care, no need for infatuation. He was just Malfoy; the boy who hated me, hated my friends. The boy that I paid no mind to all these years. He didn’t care and nor do I.

**Draco's POV**

I watch Hogwarts disappear as the train pulls away from the station. Last night, I had received a letter from my mother that I was to be on the 8:00 am train and I was not to be seen. She stated that it was urgent and assured that she’d be on Platform 9¾ when I arrived. I hold the letter in my hand, reading it over and over. I wondered to myself whether I had missed something in it, since the letter had held an undertone of sadness. 

When the train reaches its destination, I wait for the few people in the other compartments to exit before I do, following my mother’s instructions not to be seen. When I do, I see my mother, dressed in all black, from her long coat to her shoes. Her expression combined with her ensemble reminded me of a funeral. “Hello Mum.” I say, giving her a quick embrace and a kiss on the cheek. My family isn’t exactly one for affection. “Hello Draco.” She says, attempting to give me a weak smile, but it fades quicker than it appeared. 

“We must go before anyone sees us.” She whispers, looking around, scared. It was then that I realize that this is no social visit. A pit begins to form in my stomach, causing me to grind my teeth. I struggle to keep up with her as she walks to the fireplace. She stands there, holding a pot of floo powder out for me. I take a handful as I step in, my heart pounding already. “Malfoy Manor.” I say clearly. Before I know it, I’m engulfed in the emerald green flames of the floo network.

As my family home takes shape around me, I spot my Aunt Bella, who’s grinning widely, which is never a good thing. I step out the fireplace and approach her. She gives me a half-hug before stating, “How are you Draco?” I struggle to keep eye contact as I answer her. “I’m all right.” I lie, but of course I couldn’t tell her the truth. I take a breath before I continue speaking. “How are you Aunt Bella?” I ask. “Never better.” She says, a witchy smile plagued across her face. Her eyes flick down to my left arm, which was dangling aimlessly at my side. 

I sit alone on the sofa in the parlour and stare into the fire, wondering what I was doing here. My task wasn’t here; it was at Hogwarts. I wondered what they wanted from me, what He wanted from me. My mother paces around the room, her heels clicking rhythmically with each step. With every click, I become instinctively more nervous. She only ever paces when she’s upset. No one says a word for a long time, leaving me alone with my thoughts.

My mind drifts to Katherine, to last night. I don’t think I’ve ever had the pleasure spend that much time alone with her. It was almost nice when it wasn’t awkward. She probably hates me for all of the things I’ve said and done to her and her friends all these years. As much as I’ve tried to, I can’t hate her; she’s too kind, too pure. This world will destroy her kindness; it’ll turn her into a hollow figure of who she was. She’s by no means weak, but her pure nature has no place in this war. It makes me want to protect her, but I can’t even protect myself. I shouldn’t care about her, but I do. I always have. I care more than I care to ever admit, especially not to her. I could never because of who I am, who my family is. I could never be with her. I could be what she wants, what she needs. It’s all too complicated.

My family, although respectable, carry a great burden, as do I. My father chose to become a deatheater, to follow the Dark Lord. Unlike my mother, who had no choice but to because of whom she had fallen in love with. My father has some unpaid debts to the Dark Lord, but due to his recent incarceration, those debts have fallen onto me. I have no choice, but to follow him, to obey him. He threatened to kill my mother if I don’t comply with his orders.

“Draco?” My mother asks, almost pleads. “Yes mother?” I reply, fearful of what her answer may be. “The Dark Lord wishes to speak to you.” She says, her jaw clenched. I stand up and she grabs me by the hand, bringing me into the dining room. As she lead me, I caught a glimpse of Aunt Bella, whose grin was as vile as ever. I swallow hard as my mother speaks, “He should be here any moment, just wait in here. He wishes to speak to you alone.” She quivers, tears beginning to form in her eyes. 

I begin to realize why I’m here. I clench my left fist, forcing myself to take a staggered breath. I maintain a hard look, trying not to expose the fear I’m feeling on the inside. My mother kisses me on the cheek, embracing me for a moment before leaving the room without saying anything further. Today, the choices made for me become permanent. Any hope I had of free will or of escape disappear as a cloaked figure appears on the other side of the room. 

“Hello Draco.” The Dark Lord hissed with venomous voice. His red eyes meet my terror-filled ones, examining me. “Hello, my Lord.” I state firmly, trying not to show the fear in my voice. “You might have already figured out why I’m here, as I know you’re a very intelligent boy.” He pauses, beginning to approach me. “It only seems fit that if you are going to complete the task at hand, then you need to become proper follower of mine. Today, you are to become a member; you are to going to gain your mark.” He gives me a rather sly and evil smile as he extends his hand. “So if you will Draco, give me your arm.” His snakelike voice says.

I stand, frozen as a statue in front of the Dark Lord. There’s no way out once you have the mark upon your skin. I could never be respected, only feared. No one ever asked me what I wanted; it had been chosen before I was born. I could never have the life I wanted, the life I craved. A peaceful life, free from this messy world. Once the mark is on my skin, there’s no going back, there’s no returning to what I was.

“Your arm, Draco.” The Dark Lord said more sternly, taking my quaking arm and pulling up my sleeve. His hand is as cold as ice, lacking the warmth a person usually has. I can hear my heart in my ears telling me not to do this, but I can’t help it. It’s telling me to leave, to escape this place and instead be with Katherine. I take a long breath inward close my eyes as the Dark Lord draws his wand.

He whispers something I couldn’t hear over the sound of my heart and the pounding in my head. The burning starts, as if someone had stuck a hot iron on my arm. I scream out painfully, falling to my knees as it gets stronger. It was unlike any other pain I had felt before; it was excruciating, relentless. I try to pull away, but by that point, it’s useless; the mark was branded on my skin. As a tear slips down my cheek, the Dark Lord disapparates, leaving me on the floor alone. 

I bring myself to stand up, wiping the tears from my eyes with my right sleeve. I feel a lump rise in my throat, but I bit my lip to keep myself from crying anymore. I walk into the parlour, past my mother, who grimaces at me, unable to utter a word. There’s nothing to say. I try to walk past Aunt Bella, but she pulls me over to her, pulling my burning left arm up for her to examine. She has a satisfied look on her face as she does, licking her lips. She traces it with her long fingernails, causing me to shudder and pull my arm back from her.

I force myself up the staircase and into my room, locking the door with a swift flick of my wand, “Colloportus.” I mutter. I slide down my wall, letting myself break down, crying. I didn’t ask for this, to be this. Katherine would never see a lover, friend, or even a person if she saw the brand displayed on my forearm. This mark told everything about what my life was to be now. It made every choice, every decision including who I could love, who I could be with. 

I spend my whole life so far trying to make my father happy, but now I must also keep the Dark Lord happy, complying to every horrific order and command he gives. My entire life is revolved around this mark now. It will tear me apart at the seams. It’s already starting to; you can see it just by looking at me. Since the summer, my skin has grown paler, my eyes have grown dull, and my face thin. Misery and circumstance have taken a toll on me.

My face is drenched in tears, which I try to wipe away, but it’s no use; they just keep coming. I can’t bring myself to look at it, my blemished skin. It’s as if looking at it is what makes it real. If I don’t look at it; I can deny its existence. I couldn’t live like that forever, but for now, it’s enough to get me off the floor and into the bathroom. 

I stand, my head hanging over the sink. I work myself through each breath, convincing myself that somehow, some way, it was going to be alright. I let the water run, hiding my sobs from those downstairs. I splash the water on my face and the back of my neck, trying to revive myself, to make myself look alive rather than like a walking corpse. I change my tear-soaked shirt to put on a clean, pressed black button down shirt.

I wipe my eyes one last time before saying, “Alohomora.” I open the door quietly, to try and hear what my mother and Aunt Bella were talking about it. “Cissy, it’s an honour for him to bare the mark, not a burden. The Dark Lord believed he was ready. It’s only fitting, given the task he’s ordered Draco to perform.” My aunt hissed. They sit on the sofa, my mother is tense, sitting with perfect posture. “He wasn’t ready for it, Bella. He’s my son, not yours. You weren’t supposed to make that choice for him.” My mother whispers as I walk down the staircase as quietly as possible.

I can see my mother wiping a tear away from her eye as her deranged sister rolls her eyes at her. I take a louder step, allowing them to know I was here. My mother quickly stands up, flattening out her skirt. “Oh Draco dear, I didn’t see you there.” She says, her voice higher than normal. I don’t say anything, but I can see my mother’s face sadden as she looks at me. “We must go; the train is leaving soon.” She says, reassuring herself. I nod. “Goodbye Aunt Bella.” I utter as she forced me into a half-embrace, in which, I remained stiff as wand. She gives me her signature smile as I back into the fireplace, taking floo powder into my hand before stating, “Platform 9¾.” 

I reappear, stepping out of the fireplace and onto the platform. My mother joins my side within moments. As the train conductor is ushering the few passengers onto the train, my mother pulls me into an unusually tight hug. When she releases me, she puts her hand on my cheek, studying me with worried eyes. “Be a good boy, Draco. I love you. Remember, you mustn’t distract yourself.” She whispers. I nod slightly, slightly taken back by her words, it was rare that she verbally told me she loved me; it was always just implied. “Always, mother. I love you too. I’ll see you at Christmas.” I say, reassuringly. “See you at Christmas.” She says softly, as I begin to walk away, leaving her alone with only Aunt Bella to comfort her.

As I watch my mother fade away into the darkness, I think to myself how she never wanted this for me. If it were up to her; I’d be able to choose because she didn’t get to. I think that if things were different, she would have liked me to be with Katherine, even though her parents were aurors and members of the Order of the Phoenix. I think she just wants me to be happy because she knows how it feels not to be.


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco and Kat meet up to work on their presentation for the first time since Draco's disappearance a few weeks before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so bad at summaries, so excuse how bland and strange they sound.
> 
> I'm going to be uploading a bunch of chapters I already have written in the next day or so
> 
> Enjoy:)
> 
> -Em

It’s been a few weeks since Draco’s disappearance and for the first time since, he’s agreed to meet me to work on our presentation. As much as I don’t care to admit it, I’ve been worried about him. He seems a bit off, more than before. I don’t know what happened that day he was gone, but it changed him.

When I arrive at the library, he’s already there, running his hands through his hair. When he sees me approaching, he gives me a weak smile that fades quickly. I smile back as I slide into the chair, taking out my parchment. “Hey Katherine.” He says, his voice as sullen as the look on his face. “Hi Draco.” I say, in a lighter tone. He looks hurt, like whipped dog, obedient, yet terrified. Even in his hollow form, he still manages to look attractive.

A strand of hair falls into his eye, which he brushes out of the way carefully. “Are you alright, Creswell?” He says, causing me to look up from my book. When I look up, his silver eyes are examining my face. I furrow my eyebrows. “I’m okay.” I say, giving him a warm, reassuring smile. I look back down for a moment, contemplating my next move. I look back at him, worried, and ask, “I think the real question is: are you okay, Draco?” He looks a bit taken back by my question, but not offended as I thought he would be. 

  
He swallows before answering, “I’m fine.” The tone in his voice changes, “Why would you ask?” He gives me a half-smile, but it’s not very convincing. “I dunno. You just seem… different, on edge.” I reply to which he gives me a nod. I expected a snarky comment, but I didn’t receive one. We go back to working, but I can feel his eyes on me every once in a while, gazing. We begin to work on the outline, Draco and I each working on a different part of the presentation.

After about an hour and a half, I stand up and put back the book I was reading from. “I’m going to go to the Great Hall for dinner. Are you going to come?” I ask as I glanced at him. He shakes his head, only looking up from his book for a moment. “No, I’m not feeling very hungry.” Instead of running along to the Great Hall like I should have, I sit back down next to him. “I’ll stay, if you want. I’m not very hungry either.” I add, causing him to smile, but not look at me. “Thanks.” He replies.

I gaze out the large window, noticing how beautiful it is outside. I long to feel the autumn breeze. I turn Draco, whose blond hair is glowing in the sunlight. “Let’s go outside.” I say, ushering him toward the doorway. He gives me an odd sort of chuckle before asking, “Why?” I shrug. “Why not?” I retort with a smile. He lets out a small sigh and shakes his head, smiling at me. “All right, Creswell.” He says, standing up. We gather our things and put them in my rucksack underneath the desk. 

I grab his hand, rushing him out the door and through the corridor until we reach the courtyard. As we exit the castle, I take notice how we’ve not seen one person around, not even in the library. I let of Draco’s hand, leaving mine cold and empty, as I sit down on the grass. “Sometimes, I like to come out here and watch the sunset while everyone else is dinner.” I say quietly, although there’s no one around. I watch as he sits down next to me. “It helps me to clear my head without anyone bothering me.” I add, still looking at him.

He’s looking at the pink and orange sky with childish wonder, his eyes regaining some of their sparkle. I can’t help but smile at him. The sun’s hitting his beautiful face at just the right angles. I hold my breath as I place my head carefully on his shoulder. I shouldn’t be doing this; it’s too dangerous. I don’t move though. Instead, I keep my head where it is and my eyes on the priceless sight before me. My heart pounds as I look on; it sounds so loud to me I’m surprised Draco doesn’t hear it as well. “Beautiful, isn’t it?” I ask him, trying not to make things awkward. I feel him nod and breathe out a staggered breath. “Yeah… Beautiful.” He whispers, looking onward towards the disappearing sun. 

Once the sun does set, we head back inside to gather our things. The energy between us hangs in the air, lingering. We return the books back to their shelves and organize our papers. When we finally reach the staircase at which we part, I put a hand on his bicep, giving his arm a light squeeze before stating, “See you tomorrow, yeah?” He nods back at me with a smile. “See you tomorrow.” He says, the smile still placed gracefully on his face. He walks down the stairs leaving me to alone to go up. 

As I walk back to Gryffindor tower, I think about Draco. He’s different; he’s nicer to me, kinder. I don’t think he’s as bad as people make him out to be. He’s still arrogant and pompous at times, but this side of him isn’t that. It’s gentle, careful at times. It was nice to see him smile, without it he looked sad, empty. 

“Abstinence.” I say clearly, waking up the Fat Lady. “Why is it always you that’s interrupting me?” She asks rudely, her face contorted into a glare. I ignore her and walk through the door into the common room, which is mostly empty besides a few stragglers. I sit down on the sofa next to the only person I really know: Harry. “Hi.” I whisper, looking into the fire as he does. His head turns to look at me. “Hi.” He says, wrapping his arm around me.

“Where have you been?” He asks, with almost an accusatory tone, but not quite. “The library.” I state plainly. He nods and doesn’t ask any further questions. We sit there for a while, just talking about nothing in particular. We haven’t done this in a long time, just sit together, the two of us. We used to all of the time, but we’ve been so busy lately. I’ve missed him

We eventually retire to bed, where I find Hermione asleep with a book in her hand. I take it from her, bookmark the page and then place it onto her bedside table. By the time I lay down in bed, my mind has returned to Draco. I don’t know why I can’t get him out of my head. For five years, I couldn’t care less about Draco Malfoy or well-being. I never hated him, but I just never cared enough to think about it. 

Despite his exhausted look, he’s still by far one of the most attractive boys at Hogwarts. There’s no denying it. His eyes, I could get lost in them forever. His face is handsome as well, beautiful, like a sculpture. I bite my lip, thinking to myself a dangerous thought. The thought that I like Draco Malfoy.

Everyone, my friends, my family, the Order, they would all think I’ve gone mad. The idea, the very thought, sounds insane in my head; I can’t even imagine saying it out loud. Katherine Creswell daughter of aurors Rosie and William Creswell; members of the Order of the Phoenix, Gryffindor and best friend to Harry Potter, likes Draco Malfoy. Draco Malfoy: the son of Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy who are loyal Death Eaters, Slytherin, nephew of Bellatrix Lestrange who took part in the torture of my father and murdered Sirius Black among many others, and hates all three of my best friends. 

I rub my temples; I’ve given myself a pounding headache just thinking about it. I’m falling apart, piece-by-piece. I become nauseous wondering what my friends would think. I think I’m broken beyond repair this time. I have to be mad to like Draco. I must be; I have to be. I get out of bed and go to the sink, where I splash water on my face, hoping to make myself feel better. It doesn’t help, within moments I’m retching over the toilet on my knees. I attempt to stand back up, but instead I almost fall back down, as Hermione catches me.

The whole room begins to spin as I lean back down to retch again. I lie down on the floor, in fetal position, quaking. I can see Hermione’s lips move, but the sound is muffled; I can’t hear her. I breathe slowly, forcing the air out. Hermione leaves the bathroom and returns moments later with my throw blanket and pillow off of my bed. She helps me to stand up before wrapping in the blanket. 

Hermione sits me down on my bed and disappears again for what feels like hours, but in actuality was probably a minute or two. She arrives again with Harry, whom I can tell is worried. He lifts my left side as Hermione lifts my right. I clench my eyes shut in pain as they lead me through the corridors. Harry whispers in my ear that it’s going to be okay, but the pain is relentless. 

I let out a muffled groan as they lay me down on a bed in the hospital wing. I immediately roll into fetal position, hugging my knees to my chest. Harry stays at my side, taking my hand in his, trying to comfort me by rubbing his thumb back and forth. Hermione calls over Madam Pomfrey and begins to tell her what happened. “Thank you Ms. Granger, Mr. Potter. You did the right thing by bringing her here. She’s well tended for here. You can go.” 

Hermione walks over to me and says gently, “I’m going back to Gryffindor Tower. I’ll be back first thing in the morning.” I give her a small nod, letting her know I heard here. Harry doesn’t move from my side. “Harry, are you coming?” She asks him, her voice tired. He shakes his head, but doesn’t take his eyes off of me. “I think I’m going to stay here for a little while. I’ll be up soon.” He says quietly as not to wake the other injured and sick students. 

I hear Hermione’s small footsteps leave the room, the door shutting loudly behind her. Madam Pomfrey returns to my side with a sleeping draught. Harry helps me sit up, so that I can swallow it. As I lie back down, I can feel my eyes getting heavier and heavier; it becomes impossible to keep them open, easing me into a deep sleep.

 

~~~~~~~~

 

I wake up to a silent room and notice the large clock on the wall; it’s 5:42 pm. Madam Pomfrey walks over to me, looking me over and giving me some more medication. “Darling, your friends left a note; they were here earlier, but you were sound asleep.” she says, handing me a piece of paper that was sitting on the bedside table. They stated that they were going to stay until I woke up, but they were going to Hogsmeade Village today, as we had planned before this happened. They said that when they came back they would come to visit. I place it back down as I slowly sit up. 

The silence is broken as the heavy door lurches open to reveal Draco standing on the other side. He approaches me slowly, almost carefully before sitting down at the chair. His eye are red, as if he’d been crying, but his facial expression seems to ignore it. He smirks at me, “Why hello there.” He says, an arrogant twinge in his voice. I give him a weak smile as I reply, “Hello Malfoy.” I begin to feel self conscious as his eyes pierce mine. I pull up my blanket to my shoulders, hiding myself. Why was he even here?

“So what happened to get you landed in here?” He asks, gesturing to the room as a whole. “It’s a bit complicated. Why are you here, Draco?” I ask, raising my eyebrows. “I heard a rumor you were in here, so I thought I’d go and see for myself.” He says, shrugging as if it was no big deal that he was here. “Oh.” I croak, looking down at my feet, trying not to show the hurt in my eyes. I thought he was here to see if I was okay; I thought he was here because he cared. “Are you alright?” He asks, his face softening a bit. I shrug. “I guess so.” He nods, biting his lip. 

He sits there for bit, talking to me; it kept my mind off of where I am and why I was here. Finally, he gets up from his seat, looking at the clock before stating, “I should probably go to dinner.” I nod, giving him a slight smile. “I’ll come back later.” He says, as he begins to walk out. Just as he’s about to walk out of the door, I call him, “Malfoy?” He turns around to look at me, a curious look plastered on his face. “Hm?” He asks. “You don’t have to come check on me, you know.” I said softly. His eyes look directly into my brown ones. He gives me smile, “I know, Creswell. I want to.” He turns immediately around, walking out the door before I could say anything else. Not that I was able to; he left me utterly speechless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember to leave comments and Kudos; I love to hear feedback on my writing!
> 
> -Em:)


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katherine spends this chapter in the hospital wing, recovering from her illness, as Harry, Ron and Hermione come back from Hogsmeade Village with horrifying news, proving further that Hogwarts might no longer be safe.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again,
> 
> I apologize if the chapters seem short; they didn't seem as short when I was writing them.
> 
> Anyway, enjoy and happy reading
> 
> -Em

Only a few minutes after Malfoy left, did Harry, Ron and Hermione burst in, disrupting the moment I was still lingering on. “We finally caught you while you’re awake.” Ron says with a chuckle, although their faces seem anything but amused. “Hi guys.” I say lightly. Harry carefully slides into the chair next to me,  a nervous expression etched upon his mouth as Hermione sits on the edge of my bed. They say nothing for a moment, leaving me in worry and suspense about what had happened. “Katie Bell was cursed.” Harry finally says, worry filling his eyes.

I stare at all three of them in disbelief. “What? Is she okay?” Hermione gives me a grim look before whispering, “They brought her straight to St. Mungo’s.” My eyes wide, I ask, “How?” Harry looks from me to Hermione who nods. “She was hexed to deliver a cursed necklace to Professor Dumbledore. She touched it and it tortured her.” He pauses, sighing. “Lucky we saw it happen otherwise…” He hesitates on the words, Hermione finishing them instead. “Otherwise, she would have been dead.” 

I’ve known Katie for years; we’ve been on the quidditch team together since our second year. She’s one of our chasers, along with Ginny and me. She’s sweet and kind; she wouldn’t hurt anyone. “Does this mean someone tried to murder Dumbledore?” I ask, really just thinking out loud. Hermione nods, “It looks that way.” I sigh, furrowing my eyebrows. Maybe Hogwarts isn’t safe anymore after all. “I know you don’t want to hear it, Kat, but I think it was Malfoy.” Harry says as I shake my head. I think of the Draco that sat before me only a few minutes ago. He couldn’t do that. “I’m telling you Harry; there’s no way.” I say.

He gives Ron a grim look, which he returns. “Anyway, are you feeling any better?” Hermione asks, trying to change the subject. I nod to her replying, “A lot better actually.” Harry smiles at me. His bright eyes look tired, exhausted actually. “That’s good. Will you be able to play tomorrow?” Ron asks, referring to the quidditch match against Slytherin. “We’re down one chaser with Katie gone.” He says. “I’m not sure. I hope so. Harry, who did you choose to fill in?” I ask, turning to look at him. “I was going to ask you, but I was thinking Dean. He showed promise and had skill somewhat.” I nod, agreeing. “All right, Dean it is. I’m sure Ginny will be very happy about that.” I say with a laugh.

After they leave, Madam Pomfrey gives me some more medication. Besides the small conversations we have, it’s silent in here. Everyone who was here left this morning; I’m the only one still here. My mind shifts back to what Harry said about Malfoy. There’s no way he can be right about him. Draco’s not a warrior; he’s not his father. I know Harry hates him, but he doesn’t see what I’m seeing the kindness underneath his hard exterior. He just isn’t capable of something so horrible. He isn’t evil. 

As if on cue, the door opens, revealing the silhouette of him standing there. He walks slowly towards me, his footsteps echoing throughout the empty room. I didn’t actually think that he’d come back; I thought it was just talk. Madam Pomfrey gives both of us a strange look as we smile at each other. “You came back.” I say, attempting to hold back a wide smile. He stands with his hands in his pockets next to the bed. “I said I was going to, didn’t I?” He says, the words make my heart flutter a bit. “I didn’t think you were actually going to come.” I say, still smiling slightly. “Why wouldn’t I?” He asks, sitting down in the chair. I sit up, readjusting the pillow behind me. “I don’t know.” I say.

“Are you feeling any better?” He asks, his voice laced with concern, that I didn’t hear in it very often. “The same.” I reply, shrugging. He stares at me for a moment, looking into my eyes in a deep sort of way. His face was captivating, from his fascinating grey eyes, to his chiseled chin to his platinum blonde hair, perfected combed over, not a strand out of place.

“Are you going to be well enough to play tomorrow?” He asks, his expression shifting a bit to a lighter one. “I’m not quite sure, but I hope so.” I say, leaving out the part about Katie Bell not being able to play. I can’t quite bring myself to talk about it yet, especially after Harry’s accusations. “I look forward to seeing you on pitch. I’ll be in stands rooting for Slytherin of course.” He says, a competitive smirk plastered on his face. This smirk though, is not filled with the arrogance, but seems to say ‘game on’. I mimic the face back to him, making him laugh lightly. His laugh is beautiful, giving me a warm feeling; I wish I could hear it more often. 

When Madam Pomfrey comes in to check on me, she stops for a second, studying us. “Mr. Malfoy, what are you doing here?” She asks suspiciously, raising her eyebrows at him. Draco’s smile fades as she speaks. “You see Madam Pomfrey,” He says, his arrogance showing through. “Professor Binns paired us up together for a presentation. I’m just here to see if Katherine was well enough to work on it.” He says, holding up the textbook he had sitting on his lap. She nods, “Very well.” She then walks away, leaving us alone once again. 

As the night goes on, Draco stays with me. We talk, enjoying each other’s company although neither of us would admit it. “Are you going to Slughorn’s dinner party next week?” I ask him innocently, remembering him on the train. He rolls his eyes before replying, “No, but honestly I’m quite glad. He seems utterly boring and… simple.” He states, almost defensively. “I don’t really want to go, but I want to make a good impression.” I reply. He nods understandingly.

I don’t remember falling asleep, but I must’ve because I don’t recall Draco leaving. I can remember my eyes getting heavier the later the time got. I can remember the way were just looking at each other, not saying a word. There’s something else though; I don’t know it was real or not, but… I might have been dreaming, but I can almost remember, almost feel, a pair of lips lips on my forehead as I was sleeping.

 

~~~~~~~~

**Draco's POV**

 

I know I shouldn’t have done it; I kissed her on the forehead. I saw my opportunity; I needed to see how it felt, just once. I gave into my feelings, into my whims. One moment of weakness in a lifetime of trying to stay strong. She looked so beautiful, so peaceful. I know she won’t remember it or even know that it happened in the first place, but that doesn’t matter. It’s better off that way anyway. She’d probably punch me if she knew about it. She wouldn't want my lips anywhere near her.

The further I walk from her, the more I feel the pit in my stomach trying to consume me. I never meant to hurt anyone; I never wanted to. It was a stupid plan; it never would have worked. I feel the mark on my arm burn underneath my skin, reminding me of what I am, of what I must do. It makes me just want to run away from it all; leave everything behind. I would be free from this; free of my father, free of my aunt, free of the Dark Lord. I know that running is never the answer, but just once, I want to be allowed to walk away from it all. I want to be able to make my own decisions, make my own choices about my future. In this life, I haven’t any. 

I walk quickly down the hallway, trying not to be seen. I shouldn’t be out of bed at this hour, let alone visiting Katherine. As I turn a corner, entering the dungeon, I’m thrust against the wall hard, smacking the back of my head against the stone walls. “Lumos.” I say, looking to see who was holding me. Professor Snape stands over me, a hard look on his face. “You were sloppy.” He whispers sternly. As soon as he speaks, I know exactly what he’s talking about. “Potter is onto you even more than he was before and Ms. Bell is resting unconscious in bed at St. Mungo’s.” He says. 

My heart sinks. Not that I particularly care what happens to Katie Bell, but I messed up a chance to complete my mission. I messed up big time. “She wasn’t supposed to touch the necklace.” I say in my defense. “The plan was stupid, childish. It was never going to work.” He says coldly. “Especially since your focus is elsewhere.” He adds. I furrow my eyebrows and ask, “What are you talking about?” In a rather rude tone. “You and I both know that you’re too busy staring at Ms. Creswell to give the mission your full attention.” He says as if it was plain as day. I stare at him, my eyes wide.

Snape knows? How in the bloody hell does Snape know? “Are you mad?” I ask, trying to force out a laugh. “Let’s not play games with each other, Draco.” Snape says monotonously. “Surely you know what will happen if the Dark Lord finds out that you’re hopelessly in love with a member of the Order of the Phoenix, especially someone right at Potter’s side.” I don’t answer him, but he keeps talking nonetheless. “He will torture her, Draco; force you watch as he performs the cruciatus curse on her. He will make you perform the curse upon her, or worse. She’s a weakness, a liability. He will use her to make you do things for him.” I bite my lip and still stand speechless.

“You have to be more careful. Not just about the way you choose to complete your mission, but about what you think. He can penetrate your mind with a single spell. I suggest you either get your act together or become trained in occlumency. Otherwise he’ll get to her to get to you.” He pauses to take a breath. I’ve always been good at occlumency; my feelings are so repressed I’ve been a natural since I was a child. 

“If you want to survive this Draco, no more accidents like today. That girl could’ve died and the blood would be stained on your hands. You must focus; you must work.” He lingers for a moment, not walking away, but not saying anything. Maybe he’s waiting for a reply, but I don’t speak. I can barely breathe let alone utter a word. “I see you’re surprised that I know, that I noticed.” He pauses in that way that he does. “Well, let’s just say I’m not exactly new to this territory in love.” 

With that he walks away, leaving me alone in the dark corridor to ponder on his words. I was frozen in that spot for a few moments. It’s all just seemed so strange. How was it that Snape knew that I liked Kat? If Snape knew, who else did? One question stuck with me more than any other one, nagging me: who could Severus Snape possibly have loved? 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and Kudos keep me writing— I'm open to feedback
> 
> Let me know if you like the story and want to hear more!
> 
> -Em:)


	7. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kat's infatuation with Draco continues to grow as the Quidditch match against Slytherin approaches.
> 
> (omg I'm so bad at these, but whatever)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi,
> 
> The story starts to become a bit more interesting here and after, so I hope y'all enjoy
> 
> -Em:)

 

After gaining permission from Madam Pomfrey, I leave the hospital wing early this morning, returning to the dormitories to get ready before the match. When I arrive, Hermione is sitting on the bed waiting for me. “Why are you up so early?” I ask, after she practically gave me a heart attack. “I couldn’t sleep.” She says. “You need to get ready. We’re meeting Harry and Ron downstairs soon.” I nod, walking into the bathroom and closing the door.

I strip down and get into the steaming shower, allowing the hot water to melt off the grime from being sick. I get out of the shower and use a spell to dry my hair, so that it won’t be wet when I go out on the pitch. I pull it into a tight ponytail at the top of my head before applying makeup quickly, as Hermione knocks on the door to tell me to hurry up. I pull on my Gryffindor jumper for now, but I’ll change into my quidditch robes after breakfast.

Hermione and I walk down the stairs to the common room, where Harry and Ron are standing waiting for us. “About time.” Ron says sarcastically. He’s wearing his keeper padding. Ever since the first game he’s been doing it. I think he thinks that it’s a good luck charm. I elbow him, rolling my eyes. “Ready to kick some serious Slytherin ass?” Harry asks, giving me a smile. “Always.” I say, smiling back at him. Ron’s girlfriend Lavender comes rushing down the stairs and jumps into his arms. I’m not the biggest fan of Lavender, but then again, who actually likes her? Ron’s only interested in her because she took up a fancy to him. I look over to Hermione who begins to walk out of the door and into the corridor.

Only about a minute behind, Harry and I follow her, leaving Ron alone with that daft bitch. As we walk to the Great Hall, Harry and I talk strategy, especially regarding what to do with Dean. This is our first game without Katie on the pitch; we have to be prepared for anything that Slytherin can throw at us.

Last night, Harry went to the kitchen to order a specific breakfast for the team, so we eat that, even though I’d much rather be eating a muffin than eggs and toast. Ron eventually joins us, bringing Lavender along, which causes Hermione to distance herself a bit, taking out a book to read. She’s jealous and hurt; I can see it in her eyes. I put my arm around her and squeeze, letting her know I’m here.

“Ron, stop elbowing me!” I say, hitting him back. “Sorry Katherine.” He says, his mouth full of eggs and toast. He spit some onto my cheek, which I wipe off onto a napkin. I make a disgusted noise before saying, “Didn’t anyone ever tell you it’s rude to talk with your mouth full, Ronald? It’s revolting.” He rolls his eyes at me and then swallows his food. “Merlin. You sound like mum.” He says, before taking a gulp of orange juice. I laugh and push him, to which Lavender gives me a hateful glare. Hermione snickers, still looking down at her book.

I look two tables over to see Draco, mulling his food over with his fork. He looks absolutely miserable. Goyle seems to be talking to him, but he’s not really listening to him; he’s just staring down at the table. I try to study his face, try to understand what he’s feeling, but I can’t. I think back to last night and about what might have happened. It felt so real; his lips on my forehead, carefully and gently placed. I bite my lip, assuring myself that as much as I wanted it to happen it didn’t; it was all in my head. 

Harry, Ron and I leave breakfast early, along with the rest of the team, so that we can prepare for the match. No one says much, acknowledging Katie’s absence with silence. We part at the lavatories to get changed into our robes, meeting up moments later. We all walk down together to go retrieve our brooms and for Harry and I to give our pregame pep talk.

I grab my Firebolt out of the broom cupboard, which my mom had gotten me for Christmas last year. Harry and I stand facing the rest of the team, who are staring intently at us. “I know we’re all a bit off right now because of what happened to Katie, but I have a good feeling. I think we’re going to win this match. We’re going to win it for her. What happened to her was awful, but we have to show Slytherin today that we’re stronger than we were before because this tragedy will bring us together as a team; it gives us something in common. It gives us something to fight for.” Harry says, causing the team to nod. He leaves me to talk strategy, form and game plan. I discuss how Dean will play a part and how we’re going to cope from the loss of talent with Katie’s absence. I repeat that we’re going to win for her. 

We all stand quietly until we walk out onto the pitch, into the roaring crowd of red and green. It’s always a good feeling, although overwhelming at times. We all get into position as we mount our brooms, taking off into formation, waiting for the whistle. I give Ron a thumbs up as he positions himself in front of the hoops.

As I begin to think I’m in the right mindset to play, my eyes land on a figure in the crowd. An unmistakable figure with platinum blonde hair, dressed in emerald green. I almost think I see him smile at me, but I’m too far away to tell. Either way, I give him a small smile back, whether he sees it or not, I don’t know. “Oi! Who are you looking at Kat?” Ginny says from behind me. “No one. I was just scanning the crowd.” I reply, although I doubt she believes me. She drops it anyhow, shrugging it off as Madam Hooch blows the whistle, signalling the start of the game. 

I’ll admit I was a bit worried about not having Katie here as one of my chasers, but I was impressed with the team overall. Like Harry had said earlier, this had brought us together, giving us a sense of something to work for. In the end, the score was 190-100 after Harry had caught the snitch. We all gathered together as Harry and I gave our ‘good job’ speech on how even though we won this game, we had challenges up ahead and that we weren’t to stop trying, stop working. If we wanted to win the cup, we had to continue to play this way for the rest of the season.

I put my broom in the cupboard and gave Harry a hug. “Good game.” He says, smiling into my hair. “That it was.” I reply, returning his smile. He goes to walk out, but stops when he sees I’m not following. “You coming?” He asks, his smiling fading slightly. I shake my head. “I’ll catch up with you in a bit, alright?” I say, giving him a reassuring look. He nods, walking out.

I sit down on a bench on the side of the pitch, allowing my mind to wander. I think of my parents, whom I’m deeply worried about. I haven’t told anyone, but my dad has been losing more memory lately; he’s beginning to forget even the simplest things. The worse my dad gets, the worse my mum gets. He’s her tether to the world. Without him, she’s lost. She loves him so much. That’s why she’s going mad; she can’t cope in this world without him, especially knowing that Voldemort’s back. She knows we’re not safe anymore.

My mind flickers to Draco as I drift back to last night. I didn’t actually think he’d come back to see me. I thought it was just talk. It made me so happy when he did show. This boy is driving me mad. I shouldn’t even like him; it’s not the way it’s supposed to be. He’s my best friend’s rival. He’s a Slytherin and I’m a Gryffindor. My parents were in the Order and so am I, while his parents are Death Eaters. 

As I’m searching for reasons why we shouldn’t be together, I wind finding the one reason we should; the reason we should try. It goes back to what Harry had said to the team this morning: that tragedies bring people together, they create a commonality among those even drastically different from one another. They make us stronger, a team. It gives us something to fight for. We’re both broken, in different and yet the same places. 

Almost without my notice, someone sits next to me on the bench and says, “Fancy meeting you here.” I look over to see Draco Malfoy faintly smiling next to me. “Why, hello Malfoy.” I say through my smile, giving him a nudge with my shoulder. “Shouldn’t you be out with your team celebrating yet another victory against us?” He asks, chuckling a bit. “There will always be a next time.” I say jokingly. His blond hair blows in the wind, as he doesn’t have it gelled down today. Why do I have to fancy him, of all people? Why can’t it just be simple?

“When did you leave last night?” I ask him. He hesitates a bit before answering, “Only a little while after you fell asleep.” I nod. His eyes sparkle in the glowing light of sun; I can see specks of color I’ve never seen in anyone’s eyes before. “I don’t really remember falling asleep. I suspect whatever Madam Pomfrey gave me knocked out.” I say, to which he gives a laugh. 

Up here it seems as if the world we know is so far away, the world of suffering, the world with the war, the world where it’s not okay that we’re seen together or even talk to one another. It feels like we’re safe. It seems like we’re looking at it from a distance, as if we’re on the sidelines. It’s almost relieving. I say almost because I know that we’re not removed from that world; I know that we’re right in the middle of it, we’re entrenched in it. I know that we’re not safe, none of us are. All we can do is cope with it and how we cope with it makes all the difference.

After quite a while of sitting there next to him, talking, I say, “We should probably go back.” I point towards the castle; it looks so beautiful from up here. “Yeah.” He says. “We should.” We each stand up, preparing ourselves to enter back into the world inside of the castle, the world filled with pain and evil, but at the same time it’s filled with happiness and laughter.

We walk next to each other, down the quidditch pitch, not standing too close, but not too far away. If anyone were to see us, it must look strange to see us together. Me, dressed in my crimson quidditch robes, and Malfoy, wearing his greenest Slytherin attire. In many ways, we’re opposites of each other, but they say opposites attract. All you need is one commonality: the will love each other, the will to try. I’m sure that’s all bollocks though. I can’t help that I like him, but I can’t keep fantasizing that he likes me because it would be impossible. Even if he did, it wouldn’t work, Draco and I. There’s too much in the way; it’s too complicated, this world. 

As we walk silently, I can hear voices in the distance. “Harry, you stepped on my foot.” Hermione says. “Sorry Hermione.” He says. I pretend I don’t hear them, but I tug on the sleeve of Draco’s jumper, letting him know that they were there. He gives a slight nod, looking at me. Only a moment later, Harry pulls on the hood of my robe, causing me to fall back a bit. “Hi Harry.” I say, giving him a cheeky grin. His eyes fall on Draco, glaring at him. “What are  _ you _ doing here, Malfoy?” He spits, maintaining his glare as Draco turns around to look at him. “None of your concern, Potter.” He says crudely. 

“Piss off Malfoy.” Hermione says, giving him a hard look, but not quite as hateful as Harry’s. “Gladly.” Draco says with a smirk, walking away whilst muttering something under his breath. As he walks away from me though, his hand brushes up against mine softly, but accidentally, causing chills up and down my spine. “What an ass.” Harry says, watching Draco disappear into the castle. “Anyway,” Hermione says, changing the subject. “Good game Kat; you did really well out there.” I smile and say, “Thanks.” 

 

~~~~~~~~

 

As we walk up to the common room, I make brief eye contact with Draco on the staircase running parallel to ours, mouthing ‘sorry’, but I’m not quite sure if he saw me. For once, the Fat Lady lets us in without any delay or comment. As we enter, Harry pulls two licorice wands out of his pocket and offers one to me, to which I decline.

Before we can even sit down, Ron and Lavender come stumbling in, snogging, unbeknownst that we were even there. He doesn’t even give us a glance as Lavender giggles and pulls him up the stairs toward the dormitories. I look over at Hermione, whose coloring has faded from her face, leaving her white as a ghost. She stands still, biting her quivering lip, before running up the stairs. “Hermione wait!” Harry yells up to her, running to the bottom of the staircase. I begin to follow her up the stairs as I say to Harry, “Stay down here. I’ll talk to her.” He gives me a nod, before sitting down on the sofa.

“Alohomora.” I whisper, unlocking our bedroom door, to see Hermione sitting in tears on her bed. I could hear her weeping from the hallway. I close the door behind me, muttering, “Colloportus.” I sit next to her on the bed, putting my arm around her, comforting her. “I’m so sorry, Hermione.” She puts her head on my shoulder, shaking her head. “It’s not your fault that he doesn’t…” She hesitates on the words before squeaking out, “Love me.” 

She wipes some of her tears away, only for more to stream down her face. “He does love you. He just doesn’t realize it quite yet. You know how he is; sometimes he’s so profoundly dumb that he doesn’t see what’s right in front of him.” I say, reassuring her that it would work out in the end. I j-just d-didn’t think he l-liked her s-so much. I w-wanted him t-to choose m-me.” She stutters out, sniffing in between words. “I know and he will.”

I let go of her as she wipes away her tears, trying make herself look as if she was okay, as if she hadn’t just been crying. She faces me before speaking again. “I know you like him.” She sniffles once more. I can practically hear my heart stop as she utters her next word. “Draco.” Unable to speak, I shake my head and give her a smile as if to say, ‘that’s ridiculous’. I gather my thoughts into one simple sentence. It takes all the restraint I have to say it. “I do  _ not _ like Draco Malfoy.” I try as hard as I can not to bite my lip. “You don’t have to hide it from me, Katherine.” She says, hesitating. “I can see it in your eyes when he enters the room, when you look at him. It’s almost the way I look at Ron.” She says, forcing each word out, but manages to make it flow with ease. She frowns a moment, thinking about Ron just down the hall.

“You don’t think I’ve noticed how checked out you’ve been lately?” She asks, not really expecting an answer. “Fuck.” I whisper under my breath, looking down at my clenched fist. “What?” She says. “I said ‘fuck’.” I repeat, although I know that’s not what she meant. “I know that; I meant why.” She says logically. “I can’t help it Hermione. I’ve tried, but I can’t stop it. I can’t get him out of my mind.” I say, struggling to even muster the words. “Is it really that obvious?” I ask worriedly. She shakes her head before practically whispering, “I know you, Katherine. You’re my best friend; that’s why I noticed.”

“I don’t want Harry and Ron to know; I don’t want anyone to know.” I say, holding my head in my hands. “I’m not going to tell anyone.” She says sympathetically. “Unlike them, I’m not going to get angry at you for liking him, even though I don’t know what you see in him.” She contorts her face a little, although she tries her best not to. I give her a small smile before uttering, “Thanks.”

I can’t even will myself to imagine what Harry and Ron would think. Harry would go into a fit of rage; I don’t think he’d speak to me anymore, but not until after I had an earful of him scolding me loudly about how I fell for a ‘potential Death Eater’ as well as one of the people he hates most in this world. Ron would give me a lecture on how god-awful Draco really is and how I’m blind to him, but I’m not blind. I’ve never seen him so clearly as I do now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave Kudos and comments; I love hearing feedback on my work!
> 
> -Em


	8. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kat, Hermione, Harry and Ginny attend Slughorn's dinner party
> 
> Not much about Draco in this chapter, but more to come about him and his relationship with Kat in the next chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for how short this chapter is; I'll make up for it with the next one. 
> 
> I didn't realize how short it actually was until I was readying myself to post it oops.
> 
> I'll make up for it in the next chapter, I promise.
> 
> -Em

Harry, Hermione and I walk through the dungeon toward Slughorn’s office. Tonight was his dinner party to which we were invited and Ron was not. He was quite bitter about it actually, especially since even Ginny was invited and he wasn’t. Oh well, he has Lav-Lav to hang out with. With her practically eating his face, he’ll hardly know we’re gone. 

We were instructed to wear neat casuals to the dinner, nothing too extravagant. I’m wearing a simple black dress with a v-necked top and a flared out bottom that ends just above the knee while my hair is loosely curled, as opposed to it's normal bouncy, light curls. Harry’s wearing his nicest pair of jeans with button down shirt and casual blazer whilst Hermione’s wearing a cute jumper with jeans. 

As we near the office, the door to the Slytherin common room opens, revealing Draco, completely alone. I try give him a small smile as we pass, letting him know that I'm acknowledging his presence. He stares at us, biting his bottom lip. I watch him as we walk away, gazing slightly. I can feel Hermione’s eyes on me, studying my movements. I honestly wish he was invited, but even if he was, it would be tense and awkward. Especially since Hermione knows that I'm trying not to fancy him, but I can't help it. I didn’t tell her much, but I told her how I feel when I see him and how he acts around me, how different he is.

I’m thrown out of my trance by Slughorn greeting us at the door. “Good evening. Find a place and sit down.” He says, shaking each of our hands. Slughorn’s office is actually quite large, fitting a long table with golden plates set on it. I find my seat between Hermione and Neville, whom I whisper to as I sit down. “This’ll be fun.” I say, laughing a little bit as I gesture slightly to the other students who are here. It’s quite an interesting bunch. Besides the four of us, there was Ginny, Neville, Marcus Belby of Ravenclaw, the Slytherin twins Hestia and Flora Carrow, Cormac McLaggen, Blaise Zabini, and Melinda Bobbin. I didn’t know any of them other than Neville and Ginny very well and it seemed that many were odd choices to have at a dinner party. Ginny wasn’t even here yet, which was not like her. Neville chuckles before replying, “I’m betting on it.” 

I can’t help but wonder why Draco wasn’t invited. Blaise was and he was just as intelligent as Draco maybe less so. There’s even a photograph on a shelf in the office of Professor Slughorn and Draco’s father from when he was a student here. I can’t fathom why he wouldn’t want him here. He’s extremely influential and well-connected, which according to Harry, are the things that Slughorn values most in his students. 

Hermione sits tensely next to me as Cormac stares at her as Slughorn speaks to each student about their families and their connections to powerful people. He’s a bit creepy and is kind of a pig, so I understand where she’s coming from. His aggressively arrogant attitude and sense of entitlement always overshadowed any attraction I could’ve felt for him. 

As I pick at my dinner, Slughorn settles on me to talk to next. “Ms. Creswell,” He says, causing me to look up from my plate. “How are your parents doing these days?” He asks, a smile smeared across his face. “Katherine’s parents were great aurors back in the day. They helped immensely during the Wizarding War.” He adds, looking from student to student at their unchanged and unimpressed faces of boredom. 

“My father’s been the same for years. His memory is depleted a bit since his days as an auror, but other than that, he’s the same man. I visited him just before I left for school. Mum’s well; she’s doing the best she can.” I lie through my teeth, smiling. Neville holds my hand from under the table as I feel a lump rise in my throat. “It’s a shame what happened to your father.” He says, pausing before continuing to speak. “As I recall, your mother, Rosie, had quite an aptitude for potions as well as defense against the dark arts, am I correct? I assume that’s where your talent originates from.” He asks, wagging his finger at me. I nod, replying, “Yes, I believe it was one of her favourite subjects.” He nods back at me saying, “Excellent, well, give both your parents my best!”

I bite my tongue as I nod at him. Neville whispers to me, “It’ll be okay.” He’s the only one besides Harry who really knows what’s happening with my dad. He knows how he’s slowly disintegrating away from us. He’s watched it happen with me; he was there the whole time.

Next, Slughorn turns to Hermione, seemingly expecting to hear something fascinating about the muggle world. “So, Ms. Granger, what is it that your parents do in  _ the muggle world _ ?” He emphasizes, but almost whispers the words, as if they were taboo. Hermione plays with her spoon in her ice cream as she answers, “My parents are dentists,” She pauses, looking up at Slughorn to see everyone staring at her as if she had grown another head. “They tend to people’s teeth.” She continues as Harry chuckles bit. They’re the only two that really know about the muggle world. “Is that considered a dangerous profession?” Slughorn asks. 

Harry snorts, causing pumpkin juice to come spilling out of his nose. I laugh at him, passing him a napkin. She shakes her head. “No,” She pauses to let out a giggle. “Although, one boy Robby Fenwick did  _ bite _ my father once. He needed ten stitches.” She laughs again, trying to break the silence. Everyone, including myself stares at her with our eyebrows furrowed. She told me once what stitches were and I vomited. The idea of sewing skin back together is revolting.

As McLaggen speaks for about the tenth time tonight about his connections to the minister, the door swings open, revealing Ginny, dressed in a black dress. Although I could tell she was trying to hide it with makeup, she had just been crying. She wipes away a single tear as soon as it forms, hoping no one noticed. Her eyes are bloodshot and puffy still, as if she had only stopped moments ago. “Look at her eyes. They’ve been fighting again, her and Dean.” Hermione whispers to Harry and I. Harry stands up, causing some of the staring eyes to shift from Ginny.

“Ah! Ms. Weasley! Come in, come in!” Slughorn says, his face lighting up. “Sorry, I’m not usually late.” She says, swallowing hard. “No matter, you’re just in time for dessert! That is, if Belby’s left you any.” He says laughing to himself. Ginny forces a smile, trying to humor him. Marcus didn’t really even seem to notice, continuing to eat his ice cream. Harry lowers himself back down as Ginny finds her seat, picking up his napkin. His face turns red, but he smiles through it.

The agonizingly boring dinner party creeps on for another twenty minutes, although it feels like hours. As Slughorn dismissed us, I could see the relieved look on the other students’ faces. “God help us all.” Hermione whispers, shaking her head as we stand up. I shake Slughorn’s hand as we leave. “Good to see you, Ms. Creswell, Ms. Granger.” He says, nodding his head profusely. We leave Harry there, as he said he had to speak with Slughorn about something important.

Once we get out into the corridor, I felt like I could finally breathe. I give Hermione a look that makes her burst into laughter. “I don’t know how many more evenings I can take with that man.” She says. “That was miserable.” She adds. “I can barely handle him in lessons.” I say, laughing a bit. “This was just pitiful.” I shake my head, still laughing.

As we step on the staircase, it begins to change. “Oh great.” Hermione says. I’m just about to agree with her when I see Draco standing alone atop the staircase looking down at us. I can hear Hermione sigh in disappointment as my eyes reach his. I wave to him slightly, smiling warmly. He returns it with a small smile, though it fades quickly as he sees Hermione next to me. He walks down the stairs toward us, holding onto the railing. He goes in between Hermione and I, staring at me as he passes, before getting off. I watch as his blonde hair disappears into the dungeons. “ _ That _ was pitiful.” Hermione says, shaking her head as I feel my face turn red.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember to comment and leave Kudos! Feedback makes my day and I truly enjoy hearing from my readers!
> 
> -Em:)


	9. Chapter Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Interesting chapter in Draco's POV which hopefully makes up for the length of it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I once again apologize for the length of the chapter; I'm sorry
> 
> Enjoy nonetheless:)
> 
> -Em

**Draco's POV**

 

“Meet me at the greenhouses at two o'clock.” I can still hear Katherine’s voice whispering those words to me in history of magic this morning. Her voice was so mesmerizing. We’re meeting there in the hope that maybe we can actually get work done without any other distractions. The due date is getting closer and closer and all we have is an extensive outline and some notes. I'm almost glad that we haven't gotten much done because it means the more time I get to spend with her.

As I approach the greenhouses, my heart sinks. I don’t see her; maybe she forgot that we were meeting today. I bite my lip and turn the corner to the other side of the greenhouses. To my surprise, Katherine is lying on the ground, on her stomach near a patch of flowers, now wilting in the changing weather. “Creswell.” I say, causing her to turn around. “Merlin, Draco, you startled me.” She says, giggling a little. Hearing her utter my first name caused me to involuntarily smile. "I didn't mean to frighten you.” She pats a patch of grass next to her, calling me over to her. "It's alright; come over here." She says. I sit down carefully and place my books beside me. I turn over onto my stomach next to her. She laughs and I'm not sure why, but the sound is so pure I can't help but smile.

“Where do you want to start?” I ask, opening my books. She shrugs, replying “Maybe the essay because if it comes down to it, we can just wing the oral.” I nod, moving the outline for the oral to the side and taking out fresh parchment for the essay. I open the textbook as well as Katherine’s library books. She writes out the essay as I formulate the information we gathered in the past two weeks into coherent thoughts and repeat it to her.

Katherine’s hair blows delicately in the wind, the sun hitting her face at all the right angles. She was glowing, radiating beautifully. Her eyes trail up and down the parchment, rereading what we have written so far. She looks so content, so serious, but yet kind and gentle. She looked so beautiful. She looked perfect, from every feature of her face to her demeanor to her personality. I’ve never met someone who’s been as incredibly kind to me as she has. I can't find one thing about her that I don't admire. Maybe her soft spot for Potter, but other than that.

I wish it would be easy for me to like her, for her to like me, but it’s not. It’s complicated and messed up. It’s wrong for me to look at her the way I do, the way I have for years. It’s wrong for me to want to kiss her, to want to be with her. This fucked up world we live in controls everything. Because of who I am and who I’m related to, I can’t be with the only person I want to be with because of who she’s related to. It's not fair to me, to us. Maybe in a different world, in a different time, she would like me back and we would be able to be together. It’s stupid. No one asked me who I want to be, what I want to be, who I want to be with; it was all just assumed, expected of me by my family. Why is it that our society, our world, this war, can tell me who I can and can’t love?

We’re supposed to be able to find comfort in love, but but all I’ve known is pain and suffering. All I’ve known is longing from afar, looking through the window at something, someone that I can never have. It’s not fair, but then again that’s life; that’s this world. It's so cruel, so frigid. This world is so cold I don’t even find comfort in loving my own parents. In fact, I’m not even sure that I love my father. I love my mother dearly, but my father around, I could never show it to her and she could never show me.

“I’m sorry for running out on you the other day on the quidditch pitch.” I say, trying to sound sincere. Her eyes look up from the paper and move to me. She studies me for a moment before answering. “Don’t worry about it.” Katherine shakes her head. “I know how Harry can get. Sometimes, I just forget…” Her voice trails off, as do her eyes, breaking contact with mine. “What is it?” I ask, furrowing my eyebrows. She hesitates, before trailing her eyes back to mine. “I don’t want you to take this the wrong way.” She says, pausing, biting her lip for a moment, considering whether or not to continue.

“I like hanging out with you, Draco. I really do.” She says, hesitating again. Her voice comes out hushed, almost a whisper. “But, sometimes, I forget who I am, who you are because it just seems so… easy. Talking to you, being with you, I mean; it feels natural. I can't really explain it..." She bites her lip, thinking for a moment before continuing her statement, her chocolate orbs staring into my storm grey ones. "I forget how it’s supposed to be, how it really is. How  we're not supposed to be seen together or talk to each other or even give something as simple as passing glance. Something that feels so natural shouldn’t be considered wrong. What I mean to say is that I feel different when I’m with you, if that makes any sense. Sometimes, I feel like I don’t care if people see us walking together or talking. Why should I? Of course, there's a million reasons why...” She asks rhetorically and answers herself, trailing off.

Katherine bites her lip, staring at me staring at her, looking completely dumbfounded. "I don't really even know what I'm saying." She says, laughing and shaking her head. I don’t really know what to say, what to do. A smile slips over my lips before I can help it. It’s now that I notice how close she really is to me right now. I can smell her perfume, sweet, but not too sweet that it's sickening. The scent smells familiar, warming. I turn a potentially disastrous idea over and over in my head, contemplating it as I stare deeply into her eyes. They shift down to her full, pink lips, studying them.

As I lean in, my finger her chin up towards me and place my lips on hers, I can hear my heart in my ears. It’s even more amazing than I thought it would be. I've never felt this with anyone before, not Pansy or any other girl I've snogged. I feel as if I can’t breathe. I’m kissing the girl I’ve been hopelessly in love with since I was eleven. I’m kissing the one person I want to be kissing, but the one person I’m not supposed to. I move my hand into her hair as begin to feel her kiss me back. It causes my eyes to slightly open in surprise. Was she actually interested in me? Or was I just hallucinating? I shut my eyes and save all questioning for later, allowing myself to savor the moment. I needed to know, I needed to remember, how it felt to have her lips on mine, just once.

We sit there, staring at each other, both of us still registering what just happened. Neither of us move nor say a single word. My lips tingle, longing to be back on hers. I can still taste her, trying to memorize how it felt. She wears a look as if to say, ‘what have I done?’. As she holds her bottom lip, I can see a guilty look spread across her face, making me even more unsure of my decision than I was before. I shouldn’t act on impulse, especially now. This was dangerous and stupid.

My heart is still pounding out of my chest, becoming more erratic the longer she looks guilty. She probably regrets it. I wouldn’t blame her if she did, just look at who I am. I don’t deserve her; I'm a horrible person. I was fool to think that she would be interested in me in the slightest. She was only being kind to me because that's who she is; I read too much into it. She breaks our eye contact and looks down at the ground, her breaths staggered. I swallow hard, trying to understand her expression.

I gather my things, knowing I won’t be able to sit next to her in embarrassment for the next few hours pretending as if nothing had happened. As I stand up, she doesn’t move a muscle, only her eyes watching me. She looks too deep in thought to be bothered to notice or say anything. As I turn around to leave, I hear her me call back, “Where are you going, Draco?” I turn back around to face her, her brown eyes filled with bewilderment. “Obviously there’s a problem, so I’ll just go.” I snap, walking away quickly, leaving her alone on the grass.

She doesn’t say anything else to me. She doesn’t come after me or even try to stop me. She just lets me go, lets me leave her there, alone. A small part of me hoped that she would chase after me, but that hope grew smaller and smaller with every step I took. My heart sinks, still taking in what’s happened. I'm a coward; I always have been. I shuffle my feet as I walk slowly towards the common room, so that I could shut myself up into my room.

I don’t think I’ve ever felt this first degree of heartbreak before. It’s never been so direct, so hurtful. It feels like a punch to the chest, one that knocks all air out of you, all of the strength. It took all the strength I had to even kiss her in the first place. I shouldn't have even done it. I don’t really know what to do now. It all seems kind of pointless, empty.

 

~~~~~~~~

 

Instead of going to dinner, I stand in the courtyard, watching the sunset as Katherine and I did what feels like ages ago. It doesn’t seem quite as beautiful without her here, but it's peaceful nonetheless. I knew no one would bother me out here, or even know where to look. I was excited to see her earlier, but now all I want is to stay away, as to not cause myself anymore embarrassment. I can practically see her, telling Potter, Granger and Weasel about it, laughing together about what a fool Draco Malfoy really was to think that someone like Katherine Creswell would actually like him.

She was perfect; everything about her just seemed so perfect. The one ray of light left in my life and she didn't even know it. Without it, a whole new feeling of lost overwhelms me. It feels as if there’s nothing left, as if my life is empty. The mark on my arm burns greatly, causing me to make a fist, holding back a groan. It's as if it knows what I'm feeling and is trying to amplify it. 

I wish I could just fade away from this life, this world. I wouldn’t seek my father’s approval any longer. I wouldn’t have to complete my task or do anything that the Dark Lord commands of me. The inkling of feelings for Katherine would dissolve into thin air. It would all just disappear and it would all be so much easier. I have no place in my own life anymore. I could just disappear and start over it would be so much simpler.

As I pace back and forth on the grass, I feel someone tap on my shoulder from behind. I turn around thinking that it would be Crabbe and Goyle or Pansy looking for me to go back down to the common room, but instead, I am taken aback by pair of soft lips on mine. I knew it wasn't Pansy from the moment they touched me; I never felt that when I kissed her. I freeze for a second before softening into it, placing a hand on the nape of her neck. Without thinking, I kiss her back, almost thinking that it wasn’t real, that I was just imagining things. When we part, I see Katherine standing before me, her eyes glistening in the golden light. She bites her lip before speaking. She places her hand on my cheek, smiling guiltily. “I fancy you, Draco. That’s the problem.” She says nonchalantly before walking away, leaving me absolutely speechless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember to leave Kudos and comments; I love hearing feedback from my readers!
> 
> Next chapter will be up soon!
> 
> -Em


	10. Chapter Ten

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An extremely fluffy chapter between Kat and Draco, so I hope everyone enjoys it
> 
> Takes place the day after the kiss in Katherine's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's a bit longer than the last one and fluffier.
> 
> More to come soon; I'll have the next update up as soon as I finish proofreading and editing it one more time.
> 
> Enjoy:)
> 
> -Em

As I sit down at the empty desk, Ron places his books next to me. “Why are you so giddy?” He asks, referring to smile I can’t seem to wipe off of my face. It seems to be a combination of nerves and happiness. I’m not sure what happens next. I shrug, replying simply, “I just have a good feeling about today.” Harry raises his eyebrows before saying, “You have a good feeling about Professor Binns’ lecture? Merlin, you really are turning into Hermione.” He shakes his head at the thought. “I never thought I’d see the day.” Ron replies. I roll my eyes, “Yeah, right.” I say, causing Ron to erupt with laughter.

A tall blond haired figure sits down on my other side, causing me to suppress a larger smile. I hold back a breath, looking at him through my peripheral vision. I haven’t seen Draco since last night in the courtyard when I kissed him. It took all the Gryffindor courage I had to go up and kiss him, to tell him that I fancy him. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes, taking the biggest and dangerous chance I’ve ever taken. Harry shoots him a glare as sharp as a dagger as he walks back to his seat. “See you later guys.” He says, his eyes still on Malfoy, who responds with a hateful look back, neither of them breaking eye contact until Harry was out of few.

I practically hold my breath before speaking. “Hey.” I say breathlessly, keeping my eyes on the desk, as not to be suspicious. I look over at Ron, who’s doodling with his quill, not paying attention. “Hi.” He says. I can see him smirking a bit in my peripheral vision. I elbow him lightly, “Cut it out.” He shakes his head, just barely enough for me to see. “I can’t help it.” He whispers, his breath warm on my neck. It sends shivers down my spine, which thankfully, no one noticed. I bite my lip, pushing him away from under the table. I shake my head again, feeling my face flush with heat, making my cheeks turn red. “You are so hot for me.” He says so quietly I almost don’t hear him. “Get off of your high horse, Malfoy.” I whisper back, holding back quite a smirk. 

Professor Binns begins his monotone lecture, forcing me to take notes on the magical historical event of the day. As the lesson goes on, I can feel Malfoy’s eyes on me, staring. I turn my head slightly to look and him and mouth, ‘stop it’ before looking back down at my parchment immediately, continuing to take notes. He doesn’t stop, but instead moves his right hand to touch my left one, intertwining our fingers in my lap. I move my gaze to meet his, squeezing his hand softly, reassuring him that I do fancy him. The smirk returns to his face, although he tries to fight it. Draco licks his lips, but then returns to writing his notes, his hand still entwined with mine. I’ve never been so thankful that Ron falls asleep in class. If he saw what was going on inches from him, he would go into a fit of rage, hexing Draco to oblivion.

When the lesson ends, I let go of his hand before standing up and follow behind Harry, Ron and Hermione. Before I can realize what’s happening, someone grabs my arm and pulls me into a broom cupboard, closing the door quickly, but carefully. “Lumos.” I say, holding my wand out, so that I could see who it was. Not to any sort of surprise, it’s Draco, wearing his trademark smirk. My back is against the wall and he’s standing so close to me that I can smell mint on his breath. He places a kiss softly on my lips, causing me to smile. “Draco, what are we doing in here?” I ask, biting my lip. He shrugs smiling, “I just wanted to see you.” I smile wide, holding his hand in mine. “And I wanted to tell you, in case it wasn’t completely obvious, that I fancy you too.” He says, nonchalantly, as I had told him. 

He leans down and kisses me, only for me to break it off. “What are we doing?” I ask, not sure if it was to him or myself. I furrow my eyebrows, looking down at my feet. His hand caresses my cheek before answering, “I don’t know, but I know that I like you and you like me…” He trails off, raising his eyebrows at me. I stare at him for a moment, hesitating on my response. “If we want this to work, we can’t tell anyone, not a single soul. We have to be so careful; I’m walking on thin ice by just talking to you, let alone snogging you.” I say, looking directly into his eyes. He nods, understanding exactly what I’m saying. “I won’t tell anyone. Not a word of it.” He whispers. “So I guess we’re…” I hesitate to say the word, but Draco says it carefully, “Together? I guess so.” He chuckles, brushing his hand through his hair, looking down at his feet. “Wow.” I say, not realizing I said it out loud until he speaks. “What is it?” He asks, looking almost worried. My eyes go wide for a second, but then return to normal. “It’s just that… I never would have thought that you… and I–.” He nods, cutting me off by pulling me into an embrace. 

I know that I shouldn’t be in here, that I shouldn’t even be talking to him, liking him, let alone kissing him, but I can’t help it. I can’t seem to stay away, so I might as well give in. There’s no use in fighting it. I take in his scent, a familiar combination of cinnamon and peppermint. I recall it as the way that amortentia smelt to me on that day in Potions, confirming my strong attraction my strong attraction to Malfoy. Just thinking about it sounds crazy.

His breathing steadies as he hugs me, my head on his chest. His chin rests on the top of my head, filling me with warmth. I never thought I would be standing in a broom cupboard alone with Draco Malfoy holding me close to him. It’s still all a bit mind-boggling to be honest. This is not going to be easy, but nothing ever is, so why not have a little fun.

I let go of him before stating, “I have to go get to class.” He nods, looking a bit disappointed. “Me too.” He says, his grey eyes warmly looking into my brown ones. “My friends are going to get suspicious.” I say, remembering that I left them in the corridor with no warning of my absence. I stand on my tiptoes and give him a peck on the lips, wanting to keep my lips on his forever. “Goodbye Malfoy. I’ll see you at the greenhouses after lessons.” I say, walking out of the cupboard and into the empty corridor, where I practically run to herbology after checking to make sure no one was looking.

 

~~~~~~~~

 

I stand by the greenhouses, waiting for Draco as the snow falls, gathering on the grass. He’s a bit late, but I didn’t really give him an exact time, so I wait anyway, clutching to my bag as if it was my life force. I shiver with each snowflake that falls. I bite my lip, starting to get worried that he stood me up. As I think of it, my heart sinks, feeling stupid and embarrassed. How could I be so thick? I shouldn’t be surprised; this is Draco Malfoy we’re talking about. 

As I’m about to accept defeat and go back to the common room, I see a pair of storm grey eyes approaching me. He looks just as he did this morning, but there’s something a bit different about his face. He smiles before saying, “Hey.” I cross my arms at him, looking down at the ground. “I’m sorry I’m late. I got caught up.” He says, his smile fading when he sees how hurt I am. “I waited here in the freezing cold for an hour and you didn’t bother to show up!” I yell, feeling my face get hot with anger, which is a change from feeling almost frostbitten.

“Creswell, I’m sorry. I got caught up. I’m here now.” He says kindly, moving closer to me. “It won’t happen again.” He whispers, wrapping his arms around me, kissing my forehead gently. “I’m sorry.” He repeats. As soon as he touches me, the anger fades away, pushing it to the back of my mind. “I thought you weren’t coming. I thought you were ditching me.” I said quietly into his chest, causing him to pull me in closer. I don’t know how he does it, but he seems to make it all go away with a single touch, everything fades away. “I would never do that to you.” He says, wiping a snowflake off of my cheek.

We move into the greenhouse as it begins to snow harder. It feels immediately warmer as we close the door. Draco laughs as I shake the snowflakes out of my hair. I reach over to his face, wiping a single flake from his cheek. His nose is pink from the cold, matching my reddened cheeks. I gaze into his eyes for a moment, my hand on the back of his neck. I pull him towards me, kissing him deeply, my heart pulling towards him. In that moment, I don’t want it to end; I want to just keep kissing him forever. 

We sit on the cold stone floor of the greenhouse and begin to work on the essay once more. We get a lot of it done, as we work together quite efficiently. Malfoy’s a lot smarter than he lets on, sometimes he even knew things that I didn’t. I admired his intelligence, but can’t help but wonder why he’d try to hide it by hanging out with Crabbe and Goyle and acting like such an arse.

“I wish that we could stay here forever.” I say, kind of thinking out loud. We lay side by side on the floor, holding hands. I turn my head to the side to face him. “On the freezing floor of a greenhouse in the middle of a snowstorm doing homework?” Draco asks almost sarcastically, a smirk playing at his lips. I roll my eyes, kicking his foot lightly. “You know what I mean.” I hesitate, contemplating how to phrase my next words without sounding strange. “Away from everyone, away from the world. Away from responsibility, away from the pain, the war, everything. I wish we could stay here, away from it all, removed from the stupidity that is our society. I wish we could just stay here and that it would all be okay. We wouldn’t have to be careful; we could just be us and it would easy and simple.” I say, staring into his endless eyes. “I just wish everything in this world wasn’t so complicated.” I breathe out. “It doesn’t specifically have to be here, but somewhere.” I add.

I look away from him, instead looking at the ceiling, embarrassed to look at him. He turns onto his side before saying, “Maybe one day, we’ll have someplace like that. A place where you can be you, I can be me and we could be together without others turning their noses up at us. It’ll be our place and we’ll never have to leave, but for now, we have deal with this world head on. For now, being with you is enough; I don’t care who have to hide it from. Just living is enough.” Draco says, causing my eyes to flick back to meet his. I give him a weak smile, squeezing his hand. 

We lie there on the floor until the snow dies down, forcing us to leave our happy place. I hold his hand as we trudge through the snow back to the castle. “It’s not too late to go back.” He says, notioning back to the greenhouse. I shake my head. “No, you were right. We have to go back. These stolen moments will hopefully be worth it in the end, but for now, it’s all we have.” I reply. He gives me a melancholy smile, as if to say, ‘it’s good enough’. 

I walk with him through the empty corridors to dimly lit one around the corner from the Slytherin common room. He kisses me gently, my fingers lightly tracing his defined jaw. “I wish I could take you to Slughorn’s Christmas party in a few weeks, but I know… It’s too public.” I sigh, giving him a small pout. He places a strand of my hair behind my ear before saying, “Well that stout git didn’t think I was worthy enough for an invitation. Not that I wanted to be invited in the first place.” His pale cheeks almost gained a bit of pink in them and his eyebrows furrowed. He looked almost offended, even if he was trying not to be. I laugh a little, biting my tongue. “What are you laughing at?” He says, elbowing me playfully. “Nothing, you’re just cute when you get flustered.” I whisper, smiling profusely. “I am not flustered. I honestly don’t give a damn what Horace Slughorn thinks about me.” He says, keeping attitude in his voice, but the flush hasn’t faded from his cheeks.

I run my hand through the back of his platinum hair as he pulls me in to kiss me one last time. He presses his forehead against mine, so that I could look directly into his light grey eyes. “Goodnight Draco.” I breathe out. He bites his lip for a moment before responding, “Goodnight Kat.” I walk away, my heart feeling high in my chest as he spoke my nickname, a smile tugging at my lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love hearing feedback on my work, so don't forget to leave Kudos and comments!
> 
> -Em:)


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kat, Harry, and Hermione attend Slughorn's Christmas party
> 
> I don't really know what else to put here still, but whatever.
> 
> It's in Katherine's POV (side note: it's only Draco's POV if it says so in bold, but I'll put POV up here in the notes just as a reminder)
> 
> Enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi,
> 
> A slightly longer chapter than the last few, hopefully making up for the short ones.
> 
> I enjoyed writing this chapter I don't really know why
> 
> Happy reading!
> 
> -Em

I look at myself in the mirror from about every angle, studying the way my dress fits me. “You look great, Kat. I don’t why you think you look so horrible.” Hermione says, applying the last bit of her makeup. “Easy for you to say. You look stunning, Hermione.” I reply. She was wearing a pink v-necked dress that perfectly complimented her skin tone, highlighting the figure that she rarely let show. I was wearing a ruby red dress with a plunging neckline that flared out a bit and ended mid-thigh. I’ve straightened my hair using a spell and put on a bolder makeup look than I usually go with, completed with a red lip. I sigh, giving up on myself, sitting down on the bed to put on my heels.

Tonight was the night of Slughorn’s Christmas party and I was to go with Harry as friends. Neither of us had a date, being that I couldn’t take Draco, as much as I wanted to, and him not having anyone else to go with, so we decided it would be best if we went together. Hermione, on the other hand, wanting to make Ron jealous, decided it would be in her best interest to go with Cormac, who absolutely repulses her, so best of luck to her. I wouldn't go out with Cormac McLaggen if someone paid me. 

“All right,” I say, standing back up, my eyes drawing back to the mirror. “I’m going to go meet Harry downstairs.” Hermione nods, walking out of the bathroom and into the bedroom. “I’ll see you there. I’m meant to walk down with…” She makes a sour face, as if she’d eaten a vomit flavored Bertie Botts bean. “Cormac.” She forces the word out, making it seem as if it was poisonous. I laugh, causing her to blush. “Have fun, then.” I say, walking out of the room, gazing slightly at the mirror as I do. 

I walk slowly down the stairs to Harry, careful not to trip in my high-heels. Harry chuckles as I clutch at the railing. “That clumsy, are you?” He asks, laughing a bit. I roll my eyes. “Shut up.” He playfully hits my arm, smiling. He’s wearing newly pressed dress robes and his hair is combed over. “Well, you look gorgeous.” He says, his mouth gaping a bit in surprise. “Always the tone of surprise.” I say, holding back a smile. “You don’t look too bad, yourself.” I add. “These old things?” He says, looking down at his robes in a way that makes me laugh.

We journey through the castle, finding our way down to the part of the dungeon at which the party is. At one point, I almost trip, causing Harry to put his hand around my waist to steady me. Normally, I wouldn’t have even given it a second thought, but at that same moment, we passed Draco. His jaw clenched slightly as he caught sight of Harry’s hand, although he tried to hide it. I meet my gaze to his, giving him a look to say that it’s okay and it means nothing. He unclenched, licking his lips, a smirk playing at his mouth.

We find the corridor, which was quite easy, given that it’s decorated for Christmas with all sorts of decorations. The moment we open the curtain to join the party, Slughorn pulls Harry in by the shoulder to talk to him. Slughorn’s obsession with him is becoming a bit old. I know Harry’s just acting by Dumbledore’s orders and ‘getting to know him’, but Slughorn seems to be pushing boundaries. I look around for Hermione, but she’s nowhere to be found.

Before I look too bewildered, I find a familiar face, dressed in a white uniform, holding a platter filled with champagne. “Oh, hello Neville.” I say, giving him a wide smile. I seemed to have scared him, as his drinks almost fell out of his arm. “Oh! Hey Kat!” He says, spinning around to see me. "You look amazing." He says, looking me up and down. I feel my face warm as I give him a polite smile. "Thanks." I pause before continuing. "May I ask why you're serving drinks?" I ask. “I guess Slughorn doesn’t find me all that interesting because I wasn’t invited back to the Slug Club.” I open my mouth to speak, to apologize, but he continues, speaking in a rushing manner. “It’s alright though. I’m not the only one. He’s got Belby handing out towels in the loo.” He smiles still, gesturing towards the toilets. “I’m sorry Neville. I think you’re very interesting, definitely more interesting than he is.” I say, talking about Slughorn, remembering the first dinner party. “Well, yes.” He says, laughing. His eyes break contact for a moment, looking at someone in the distance, probably Slughorn. “I’m sorry; I’m being rude. Would you like one?” He asks as he hands one off to me. “Thank you, Neville.” I say. He looks a bit flustered, worried almost that he isn’t doing enough. I go to continue speaking, but before I can get a word out, someone taps him on the back, beckoning him. 

I wander over to the corner, sipping my champagne. I stand alone, unable to find Harry or Hermione. Suddenly, a hand grabs my shoulder, pulling me backwards forcefully, causing me to almost spill my drink. When I can see what’s going on, I see Hermione standing to my left with a worried look. “Blimey, Hermione.” I whisper, gaping at her as I step backwards, steadying myself. “Watch out Katherine!” Harry says in a loud whisper as I step on his foot. I put my hand on his shoulder before saying, “Oops, sorry Harry.”

“What are we even doing back here?” I ask, raising my eyebrows. “Hermione’s escaped Cormac.” Harry says, carrying an amused look on his face. I let out a laugh, biting my lip to force back a larger smile. “He’s absolutely revolting. I’ve left him under the mistletoe with his lips puckered.” She says, contorting her face to look disgusted. Harry laughs abruptly as Hermione shutters. “Oh, shut up Harry.” She says, narrowing her eyes at him. I know she’s trying to make Ron jealous, but he’s too busy kissing his cow of a girlfriend to even notice.

“He has absolutely no manners; he makes Grawp look like a gentleman.” Hermione says irritably, her eyes peering around to get a glimpse of where Cormac was. “I figured as much. Just look at him; his over-confident smile and the arrogant way he carries himself make me want cringe.” I say, chuckling a bit. “Sounds like someone else we know.” Harry breathes out, referring to Malfoy. Hermione looks at me to see my reaction. I clench my fist, digging my nails hard into my palm to prevent myself from doing anything stupid, causing me to break the skin. He may be arrogant, but he’s not Cormac. Arrogance is all Cormac has; at least Draco has a personality underneath. 

As I let out a staggered breath, Hermione grabs my arm and whispers, “Shit, he’s coming.” She pulls us out from behind the curtain to the left, bringing us behind Professor Trelawney, who seemed to be quite drunk. Hermione slouches, making herself small behind Trelawney’s large and strange outfit. She tucks her hair behind her ear, biting her already short nails in worry. I hand her my glass of champagne, still mostly full, saying, “You definitely need this more than I do.” I let out a chuckle as she downs the whole glass in one swift swallow. “Thanks.” She says, letting out a small burp as she continues looking around frantically for any sign of Cormac. 

My gaze trails, as well as everyone else’s, to Filch, who seemed to be dragging someone forcefully by the arm into the center of the room. I felt my heart stop as I saw the unmistakable eyes of Draco Malfoy come into view, making a flicker of eye contact. “Get off of me, you filthy squib!” He yelled, his voice boisterous with a sense of superiority. Filch ignored Draco’s demand, and instead reports directly to Professor Slughorn, who had been previously speaking to Gwenog Jones, captain of the Hollyhead Harpies. “I found this one lurking in an upstairs corridor.” He says, causing everyone to give him their undivided attention as not a single person spoke or moved, all of them staring at Draco. 

His hair looked sweaty and out of place, locks of platinum blonde swept across his forehead, covering his left eye a bit. “When I asked him why he was out of bed, he ‘claimed’ to have been invited to your party–.” Before Filch could finish what he was saying, Draco interrupted, his pale face turning an almost light pink. “Fine! I was gatecrashing!” He reveals, hollering for all to hear. His eyes find mine as I feel my heart sink. He looks away from me quickly and back to Slughorn. I couldn’t go to him, defend him as I wanted, although I don’t even know what he was doing. Of course I know that as much as he denies it, Draco did want to be a part of the Slug Club even if it was an absolute bore leading me to believe that he could be telling the truth, but something in his eyes was convincing me otherwise. There was almost a flicker of fear within them, as if he had been doing something other than trying to sneak into a party he wasn't invited to.

Slughorn quietly speaks to Draco, an understanding look upon his face, causing a flash of anger and disappointment from Filch, who probably wanted to personally punish Draco, judging by the look on his face. He he gives a dashing smile to Slughorn, shaking his hand and giving him a look I’ve seen him give Snape many times in the past as he sucked up to him. Despite not being punished, Draco still looks a bit frazzled, excusing himself away from the party and into the corridor. “I’ll be right back, Hermione. I’m just going to use the lavatory.” I say, my eyes remaining upon Draco as he exits. I can feel Hermione watching me as I walk out, judging the decision I was making. 

I follow him out and around the corner into the corridor before grabbing his shoulder. “You shouldn’t be out here.” He whispers, his face plagued with worry. I shake my head, dismissing his statement with a simple embrace. I brush his hair out of his eye with my hand, leaving it on his cheek for a moment before releasing him. “Why were you out of bed, Draco?” I ask almost silently, causing him to bite his lip. He pulls a smirk on his face, replying, “You look beautiful, just so you know.” He changes the subject, putting his hands on my waist, pulling me in for a kiss. I put my finger on his lips, “Draco.” I say, looking deep into his eyes. “I was looking for Professor Snape. I had to ask him something.” He says, running his hand through my hair, breaking our eye contact. I nod, still feeling as if he’s keeping something from me. 

He kisses me, removing any sense of doubt in my mind. “You do look gorgeous by the way.” He says, going in to kiss my neck."Absolutely stunning." he whispers, his breath hot. I stop him, backing away slightly, a smirk on my face. “You ought to get that lipstick off of your face before someone notices, Malfoy.” I say, laughing a bit at his lips which are stained a light red color. He wipes them hard with his hand, removing all trace. He goes in to kiss my neck one more time before I stop him again, watching him practically squirm. “Not here.” I say, shaking my head, to which he fake pouts. “I’ll see you round, okay?” I ask, a smirk tugging at my lips. He gives me a fake angry look, “All right, Creswell. Game on.” He says, as I walk away, swaying my hips with confidence that he’s watching me.

I walk into the lavatory on the way back, washing the four nail marks on my hand from earlier, watching the blood swirl down the drain. It burns as the water comes into contact with them. I sigh, wishing I had dittany to prevent scarring. I fix my lipstick, replenishing the parts where it’s worn from Draco’s kiss. I stall for as long as possible, not wanting to go back, but eventually I force myself out and into the corridor.

I return back to the party, looking for Hermione, who turned out to be trapped with Cormac once more. She shot me a glare, mouthing that it was all my fault that he came back. I rolled my eyes, looking for Harry, who also seemed to be missing again, but I suppose he went off with that man who said he wanted to write Harry's biography. 

I stood alone as I waited for anyone to show themselves, trying not to look awkward. “Hey,” Harry says, appearing out of nowhere. “Merlin!” I say, practically jumping into the air. “Sorry, I was using the cloak.” He says, looking around. “Where’s Hermione?” He adds, to which I point over to where she stands, watching us with longing. He laughs, but I interject, “Why were you using the cloak?” He pulls me behind the curtain again before whispering, “I followed Snape who followed Malfoy.” I look at him, feeling my heart pound in my chest. Did he see us?

“Harry, for the last time–.” I say, but he cuts me off before I have the chance to finish. “They were talking about Draco being chosen for something, that he had to be more careful in completing it because Snape had made the Unbreakable Vow to keep him safe. I suspect that they were talking about Katie Bell. Snape said that Malfoy had been practicing occlumency.” He says in a hushed, but crazed voice. I furrow my eyebrows. “What’s wrong?” Harry asks, putting a hand on my shoulder. “Are you sure he said Unbreakable Vow?” I ask, trying to work sense into what Harry had told me. He nods, “Yeah, why?” I shake my head, taking a breath before speaking. “Well, you can’t break an Unbreakable Vow." I say, my eyebrows furrowed into a line. "I worked that out for myself funnily enough." Harry deadpans, causing me to smack the back of his head. "Ow!" He says. I pretend I don't hear him and continue talking, "I dunno. It doesn’t seem right to me, an Unbreakable Vow.”

Harry rolls his eyes at me, “Of course it’s not right! What kind of Death Eater mission is right?” He asks matter-o-factly. He pauses, his face changing a bit. “What happens if you break an Unbreakable Vow?” He asks. I exhale in a sigh, “You die.” I whisper grimly, sobering Harry’s expression.

My parents made the Unbreakable Vow with Harry’s to keep their hiding place a secret. Lily and James trusted my parents, but in that time, they needed to ensure their safety, so they made the Vow. Not once did my parents betray them, not even when my father was being tortured within an inch of his death. He was an honorable man in that way. When Lily and James died on All Hallows Eve, their vow became void, meaning just empty words, meaning nothing. 

“I don’t know why you, Ron and Hermione refuse to believe that that wanker is a Death Eater. The evidence is right there in front of you. The Unbreakable Vow, Borgin and Burke, his disappearing off the map, Katie’s cursing; it all makes sense.” I shake my head at him, refusing to believe what he is saying to be true. Draco was not a Death Eater; he couldn’t be. “You’re mental, Harry. What would Voldemort want with the daft Draco Malfoy. He’s only sixteen.” I say, not really meaning that Draco’s daft. Harry rolls his eyes at me, looking a bit annoyed actually. “Whatever. I’ll tell Hermione about it tomorrow. I wouldn’t want to steal her away from Cormac.” He says, wiggling his eyebrows, causing me to laugh. 

“Do you want to go back to the dormitories?” I ask, yawning. “Sure.” He says, nodding. We politely say goodbye to Slughorn informing him of how lovely the party was, although it was quite boring. I take off my heels as we exit the party, my feet aching from spending the night on my feet. The cold stone floor feels good against my feet, relieving them of their pain. Harry and I run through the corridor, chasing each other as if we were second years without a single care in the world. We laugh together, forgetting about Draco and unbreakable vow for a moment, forgetting about the war taking place just outside the gates and the prophecy declaring that Harry was to be the ‘Chosen One’. We forget about Sirius and the ever worsening state of my father. We forget about Voldemort and the burning lightning-shaped scar on his forehead. We forget and allow ourselves to be children for a moment and it feels great.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember to leave Kudos and comments below!
> 
> I love hearing feedback from my readers, so don't be shy!
> 
> -Em:)


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kat and Draco enjoy the last bits of time together working on the presentation as Christmas approaches quickly, bringing about the end of their partnership.
> 
> Katherine's POV again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi,
> 
> This is another longer chapter, but it's a bit of a filler. There's some fluff, but besides that, there's nothing else going on.
> 
> Enjoy anyway:)
> 
> -Em

As Christmas approaches, Draco and I work on our presentation more and more, so that by the time it’s two days before we go on holiday, we only have three minutes of oral presentation left to write. We work almost every night, although sometimes we do more snogging than working, but we still managed to get most of it done. It’s a melancholy feeling that it’s almost over, knowing that I’ll no longer have an excuse to see Draco makes me sad, but knowing that we won’t have this huge project hanging over our heads anymore is relieving.

We sit together on the floor of the prefect bathroom with the door locked. Since the weather’s gone cold, there’s a limited amount of places we can meet and not be seen. It’s not great considering Moaning Myrtle comes in every once in a while, trying to hit on Draco, but it’s the best we’ve got for now. We can’t risk being seen together, so this is about as private as places get around here. It's not all bad though; at least we're together, even if we're in a bathroom.

“We’re not going to be able to do this as often anymore, you know?” I say, my head on his shoulder, gazing at the papers we have scattered all over the floor. We sit side by side, our backs against the large bathtub. “I know; it’ll be a lot harder, trickier.” He says, holding my hand. Draco turns it over to trace the lines on my palm, tickling me. “What’s this?” He asks, pointing to the four nail marks that are left from clenching my fist so hard, that I made myself bleed. I shake my head, closing my fist. “It’s nothing, don’t worry about it.” I say, knowing he’s not going to drop the subject. He reopens my hand, tracing the four crescent shaped scabs carefully. I can’t tell him that I did it to prevent myself from defending him and that now, it was becoming habit, becoming some form of coping. “It’s not nothing, Love.” He says, examining them. "What is it?" He asks one more time, his storm grey eyes piercing into me. “Please, just drop it.” I say, tugging my hand away. He frowns, but ceases to speak about it for the time being.

“I don’t want you to go home for holiday.” He says, his eyes sullen with a familiar look of sadness. He was staying at school for Christmas, not wanting to go to the home that now lacked his father and gained his Aunt Bella. “If I could stay with you, Christmas would be perfect.” I say, pressing a quick kiss on his lips. I smile, thinking about how there would be no one left here to hide from, how we could be ourselves. “I wish you could, but you can’t. Potter would be too suspicious.” He says, his smile instantly fading as Harry’s name passed through his lips. “You know that’s not the reason.” I say, pausing. “I need to help my mum. The holidays are… tough.” I hesitate before adding, “And Mr. and Mrs. Weasley are expecting me.” He sighs, moving a strand of hair out of my eye. 

He looks away for a moment, staring into the stained glass window, the mermaid stroking her hair within it. I study his face from his pronounced jawline to the porcelain of his skin. “You looked hot the other night in that dress.” He says, licking his bottom lip. “Not that you don’t always look hot, but…” He trails off, his eyes falling on mine. I grin, scooting in closer to him. “Are you going to let me kiss you or are you going to tease me again?” Draco whispers, his hot breath tickling my neck. I shake my head slightly, not being able to breathe, as he goes in to kiss my neck. This time, I let him, not being able to withstand him any longer. He lingers with every kiss, causing chills up my spine. I can feel him smirk into my skin as I let out a small groan. "I'd like to see that dress again sometime; maybe get a better look at it, at you in it." He says against my neck as my breath hitches.

I pull him up into a passionate embrace, smiling hard as I press my lips against him. “God, I’m going to miss you.” I groan, my head pressed against his forehead, our noses touching. Draco smiles, running his hand through his hair. I think about how it would be to stay here with him; we would live a near normal life for a few weeks, together. There'd be scarcely any people here to avoid, to hide from. It’s so tempting, but I can’t; I must go. My mum needs me; my dad needs me. He goes to kiss my neck again, but I pull away slightly, placing my hand on back of his neck, twirling a blond lock around my finger. “You’re trouble, Malfoy.” I say, biting my bottom lip to keep from smirking. “You already know, Love.” He says, crashing his lips into mine.

Once we’re no longer preoccupied with each other’s mouths, we return to finish the presentation. “This is so boring.” He huffs, lying back onto the bathroom floor. I shrug, not looking up from the parchment. “At least we’re together. We should take advantage of it while we can.” I say, raising my eyebrows. “I guess you’re right.” He says, tugging on the back of my shirt. “Of course I’m right.” I reply, looking from the essay to the oral report. "I'm always right." My tone sounded rather familiar, giving myself a bit of a fright. Perhaps Harry and Ron were right; I am turning into Hermione.

I look at Draco’s watch and feel my heart stop. “Bollocks.” I say, pulling our papers together. “Scourgify.” He says from behind me, causing all of the scattered books and papers to organize themselves into a neat pile right in front of me. “What’s wrong?” He adds, putting his hand on my back. “I have quidditch practice.” I say, thinking about what Harry is going to say if I’m late. “Accio bag.” I say, summoning my bag to come out from behind the tub and into my hand. I force all of my things into the bag, standing up. “I must be going, Malfoy.” I place a kiss on his lips as he stands up next to me, looking a bit shaken and confused, although he nods nonetheless. “I’m so sorry; I wish I didn’t have to leave you like this." I say, furrowing my eyebrows. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He says as I nod, half-listening as I run out the door, whispering, “Alohomora.”

 

~~~~~~~~

 

I hold Draco’s hand tightly under the desk as we await being called up to present the project we’ve worked so hard on these past few months. I can’t help but feel nervous even though I know we’re more than prepared. We’re next, as Ron and Pansy are up there right now, doing a rather awful job. Ron’s face has turned as red as his hair since he’s stepped up there. They keep tripping over each other’s words, giving one another hateful glares as it goes on. It seems to be that neither of them took the initiative to work together very well, so the whole thing is a big jumbled mess. I look back at Harry, who seems to be finding it more amusing than I thought he would; his hand is covering his face, which is now beet red from holding in a struggled laugh. He shakes his head at me, still laughing.

As I turn back around to see Draco, I bite my lip, holding back all urge to console him or ask what’s wrong. The only color on his face comes from the dark circles under his eyes, which are deeper than ever. His cheeks seem to be getting thinner by the day, but I partially blame myself, since we’ve missed dinner for the past week because we were working on this presentation. I try to ignore the sadness behind his eyes that lingers most of the time, but it's so present. The only time I see it disappear is when we’re alone together, but even then, it's not gone for long. I'm worried about him; I just want him to be okay.

When Ron and Pansy return to their seats, she runs her fingers across Draco’s shoulder and drapes herself around his neck, whispering something in his ear. She kisses along his jaw, making my breathing stop. He stays tense and unmoving, not giving into her, but that doesn't stop her. I try not to let it bother me, but I feel my face burn with jealousy, clenching my fist back into the scabs on my hand, feeling the cuts reopen with a pop. I try to hold back the feeling, but it comes through anyway. As she sits back down, Draco mouths, ‘it’s okay’, but I can’t help but let out a staggered breath to keep from hexing her. I give him a half-hearted smile, showing him that I was fine, that there as nothing wrong. I remind myself to borrow Harry’s copy of  _ Advanced Potion-Making,  _ if he’d ever let go of it, to find the toenail growth hex he had used on Crabbe weeks ago. He squeezes my other hand lightly, letting me know that whatever happened meant nothing.

“Katherine Creswell. Draco Malfoy.” Professor Binns mutters in his monotone voice. I swallow hard, feeling nervous. I let go of his hand and we stand up, moving to the front of the classroom. I place our essay neatly on the desk on top of the other ones before returning to Draco’s side, not standing too close. I wipe my, now bleeding, hand on my robe, causing Draco to gaze down at it before catching himself. 

I speak my piece as quickly as I can without seeming as if I’m rushing as the entire room watches us. When I finish, Draco speaks elegantly, but arrogantly, his voice carrying across the silence, cutting through it like a hot knife. His trademark smirk plays across his face, looking satisfied with our presentation, which is undoubtedly better than Ron and Pansy’s, not that it could be any worse. I try to look at the piece of parchment in front of me and not at Malfoy, so as not to draw attention to us. I can feel the weight of the secrecy of our relationship as I stand there. I feel as if the hickeys on my neck are visible for all, even if they're covered with makeup. It feels as if it’s written across my forehead, displayed for all to see.

Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Hermione watching me, watching us. She carries a bit of a judgemental look, but I can see her trying to repress it for my sake. I know she can see how I’m trying not to look at Draco and how he’s trying not to look at me; I just hope no one else can. I just hope that we're not completely obvious. I tell myself that it’s because she knows me too well, but that just makes me worry about Harry and Ron; they know me just as well. I hope that Hermione’s intuition doesn’t tell her that we’re together, Draco and I, otherwise I don't know what I'll do. 

When we sit back down, the heat drains from my face, but the feeling still lingers. As I slide into the chair, Ron grabs my hand, looking at the blood stained under my fingernails. “Bloody hell,” He whispers, his eyes wide. “What are you doing to yourself?” He asks as I pull my hand back from him, shaking my head. “It’s nothing, just nerves.” I see Draco’s eyes dart to my hand and his jaw clenches, but his face remains unchanged. Ron continues to stare at me, but he drops the subject, though I doubt he believes me. 

As we vacate the classroom, I tell Ron that I wanted to go to go see Madam Pomfrey about my hand, so that I could limit the scarring. Instead, I go into the broom cupboard, where Draco is already there waiting for me. He grabs my arm, turning my hand over. He bites his lip, making a face I’ve never seen him make before. I want to pull myself away, but find myself unable to move. “Why?” He asks, almost looking angry. I look away, feeling my cheeks get warm. “Draco, I can’t.” 

He places a kind hand on my face, guiding me to look at him. “Katherine.” He says gently, making me melt into a puddle. “Pansy means nothing to me, nothing, okay?” He moves in close, kissing the still bleeding cuts on my hand. “If that’s what’s bothering you, I can assure you there’s nothing to worry about. You’re the only girl I care about.” He says reassuringly. He moves in and kisses me softly. “I’m sorry.” I say, feeling as if my tongue was numb. He holds me, embracing me for what feels like a long time. He shakes his head, “Just don’t hurt yourself. I don’t want to see you hurt.” And with that, he was gone, leaving me standing alone in the broom cupboard. I don’t know what to say or what to do, so I just stand there, unmoving as people outside scuttle to their next lesson. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again,
> 
> I love hearing feedback, so don't forget to comment and leave Kudos down below!
> 
> -Em:)


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gives insight into what's going on for Katherine during Christmas holiday without Draco.
> 
> More of an angsty chapter, but you'll have to read to see what's up.
> 
> Man, I'm so bad at summaries...
> 
> Katherine's POV for most, but at the end there's a small bit in the 3rd person (it makes sense when you get there)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi:),
> 
> Here's a long chapter that is really just two shorter chapters that I combined.
> 
> I hope y'all enjoy!
> 
> -Em

I don’t know what to say when people tell me that they’re sorry. Am I supposed to lie and say that it’s okay, that I’m okay? Am I supposed to pretend and say that I’m fine? I’m not fine, but if I say otherwise, I’ll make people uncomfortable. The word just makes me feel numb every time it’s spoken. It’s so overused nowadays, especially with the war, with everything that's going on, that it’s lost its meaning.

A tear slips from my cheek, which I quickly wipe away before anyone can see. I have to be strong; I can’t falter anymore. I don’t have a choice in this anymore. It seems impossible to me; the notion that I have to be the rock, that I have to be the strong one. This world is forcing its children to grow up, pushing them into adulthood prematurely. It's not fair. I’m not ready for this, but I have to be, for my mum, for everyone.

I watch as a drop of wax slowly drips down a candlestick, hardening as it travels down. A comforting hand finds its way into mine, though it’s not the one I wished it were. Of course it’s not; nothing can ever be that simple, can it? Everything is so bloody complicated I feel like I’m going to explode. I clench my fist, pressing my fingernails into my palm, scarring myself again. I should never have come home; everything is so fucked up. Draco and I should have ran away when we had the chance, but we were stupid and naive that everything would get better.

“I know how you’re feeling.” Harry says, drawing circles on the top of my hand with his thumb. “I know.” I sniffle, putting my head on his shoulder. “Want to hear something funny?” I ask him, to which he replies, “Humor me.” I take in an uneven breath, preparing myself for what I was to say. “I didn’t even know him. I didn’t even know him and I’m letting this ruin me. I’m upset and crying over someone I never really even met. I only know what I’ve been told, which isn’t even much. I wanted to ask mum, but she was always too devastated. I don’t know what he was like behind closed doors. I don’t know anything of worth about my own father. All I know is that Voldemort tortured him for information sixteen years ago and that two nights ago he was murdered in his sleep by Bellatrix Lestrange.” I hesitate, my eyes travelling to Neville, who sat with me all of yesterday, holding me as I cried. He stayed up all night with me, talking. His eyes are red and swollen, as if he’d been crying, but then again so are mine, so are Harry’s. “He didn’t know me, Harry, and I didn’t know him.” I let out a sick laugh, shaking my head. Harry nods, sighing before speaking. “It’s normal to be upset, to miss him. I certainly miss my parents and I never knew them. You don’t have to know him to miss him, to feel attached. He’s your father, Katherine. I only know what others tell me about my parents too, but you can never really trust people, especially not these days.” He says, his eyes drifting off.

Harry comforts me, distracting me and helping me say my last goodbyes to the father that I never knew. I force myself to look at him; he finally looks peaceful, at rest, after all these years. If I didn’t know better, I would think he was sleeping. I stare at the man I never had the pleasure to know, imagining what my life could have been like with him in it. I would have had a family, a father to take me to get my first broom, teach me how to ride it. He could have brought me to Platform 9¾, kissing me goodbye as I went off to school, waving to me, alongside my mother, as the train pulled away.  I find myself crying over the father, over the life, I never had. 

With every ‘I’m sorry’, my mother loses a part of herself. When it comes time to leave, she throws herself on him, clinging to the lifeless body of the love of her life. “Mum?” I say, putting a hand on her shoulder. She doesn’t stand, nod or even recognize my presence. Harry squeezes my hand, letting me know he’s here. “Mum, please.” I repeat, but to my dismay, there’s no answer, only muffled sobs. “It’s time to go.” I say, feeling my eyes well with tears. Molly Weasley runs up to me, putting a hand on each of my shoulders. “I’ll take care of her, don’t you worry. Go to Arthur and he’ll take you two to the Burrow.” She says, gazing sadly at my mum.

The unpleasantly familiar sensation of being pulled through a small rubber tube that comes with apparating overcomes me, but before it fades, I’m being held in an embrace. Neither Harry nor Ron say anything as they sandwich me, helping to calm me down. I allow myself to cry, break down, in their arms. They don’t say a word, but their hug says more than words could.

 

~~~~~~~~

 

After the dinner I didn’t eat, Harry and I sit on my bed. He tries to distract me by reminding me of quidditch and how well we’re doing, but I sit there and stare blankly at him. I can’t bring myself to engage or even give a generic nod, showing that I’m comprehending the information, but I’m not really. I’m too focused on my mother, on my father, on anything but quidditch. For once, it seems unimportant, just another thing my father doesn’t know about me. From what I heard, he was a rather good chaser in his day. I wondered if he would proud of me, of who I am and who I’ve yet to become. I can’t will myself to even imagine what he’d think of Draco. I’d like to think that he’d be proud, be supportive, but I know better. I know that he’d hate him, just like everyone else, he wouldn’t want him near me after just hearing the name Malfoy. He wouldn't take the time to get to know him as I have, seeing the beautiful, gentle soul underneath the arrogance, the surname. I push the thought out, biting my lip.

Harry and I sit in silence for what feels like a while, just enjoying each other’s company. “Thank you, Harry.” I say, almost at a whisper, nudging his arm with my elbow. “For what?” He asks, giving me a confused look. “For everything. You were there for me today. I needed it.” I reply, my voice laced with sadness. He shrugs, not saying anything. "You were there for me after Sirius died. You sat with me for days; this is the least I could do." His eyes are locked with mine, empathizing with each other.

I look down, my eyes on my hands, which are lying in my lap. Before I could do anything or even notice, Harry leans in, placing his lips intricately, but gently on mine. My eyes remain open in shock, still not registering what’s happening. I don’t move, not into the kiss nor away; I just remain, but don’t engage. I don’t know what to do, what to think. My mind instantly goes to Draco, causing me to pull away more forcefully than I intended to. I put my hand on my mouth, gaping unbelievably at Harry, who wears the familiar look that Draco had after he had kissed me for the first time.

I fight the urge to shake my head, simply formulating the only words I can. “Harry…” I trail off, my hand still over my mouth. “I… I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have…” He says, shaking his head and struggling to speak. I’ve never thought of him that way; he was always just a friend, like a brother to me. He was always there for me, but I never looked at him that way. He’s always just been Harry, my best friend. Has he thought of me like this all this time? I force out a staggered breath, speaking slowly and quietly, “Harry, I can’t…” I bite my lip, looking away from his piercing green eyes. “Why not?” He breathes out, causing me to shake my head.

I hesitate, holding back the information that will inevitably be revealed. I can feel the heat rising from my cheeks to my ears. “I… I… fell for someone.” I push the words out of my mouth, almost making them trip over each other. I can't feel my tongue as I speak. I try as hard as I can to avoid really answering the question Harry’s asking. He’ll hate me; I can’t have him hate me. He’s my best friend and I need him.

Harry has a hurt look across his face, as if I had slapped him. I guess in a way, I did. “Who is it?” He asks under his breath, looking down at the bedspread. I don’t answer, chewing on my bottom lip. “Who is it, Katherine?” He asks louder, accusing me, his breathing becoming a bit heavier. By his tone, I can tell he already knows the answer to his own question, but he wanted to make me say it, own it. I look down, avoiding all eye contact with him. “It’s  _ him _ , isn’t it?” His voice carries an offended tone, spitting out the mention of Draco as if it carried venom.

I still don’t look at him, but my silence has told him all he needed to. He stands up, pacing around the room, his head in his hands. “You told me it was nothing! You told me it was just a presentation, but all this time you were falling in love with a Death Eater!” He shouts, sneering the words in a tone I’ve never heard Harry use before. A tear drips down my face as I muster a reply, “I didn’t know how to tell you! I was scared to tell you for this exact reason! And he’s not a Death Eater!” I shout back, sniffling. “I have been so madly in love with you since the day we met and you never cared to notice! Instead, you go and fall for the one person in the world I’ve hated since the day I’ve met him! How in the bloody hell did you fall for Draco Malfoy!” He’s in love with me… I never thought, I never knew, that he felt that way. Harry’s never screamed at me before, at least not like this. We never argue, we’ve always just been okay with each other. “I’ve known for a while, but I needed to hear you say it.” He says, his voice so angry that it sounds calm. 

My mind flickers to Hermione, instantly thinking that she told him. I gain a burning rage in my heart, running through my blood. “Do you think I can’t see you two together in the Prefect Bathroom or by the greenhouses?” He asks rhetorically, referring to the Marauder's Map, which sits on the floor. “I don’t even want to imagine what you were doing.” He pauses again, shaking his head. “Probably something similar to what happened in the corridor during Slughorn’s Christmas party.” I feel my heart stop. “What?” I ask, my word hissing. “I went to follow Malfoy, to see what he was up to, but instead I found you two…  _ together. _ ” His body tenses up as he finishes speaking. 

“How dare you watch me on that map Harry Potter! You had no right!” I spit, standing up to face him. “It’s none of your goddamn business what I do with him! I’m happy with him and that’s all that should matter to you. You’re supposed to be my friend, Harry, and if I’m happy with Draco then you should be happy for me. Stop letting your hatred for him blind you for five seconds and see how good he is for me, how much I care about him, how much he cares about me.” I say, my whisper forming into a shout of sorts. “So he's Draco now." He scoffs under his breath, rolling his eyes briefly before speaking again. "Draco Malfoy doesn’t care about anyone. He’s a cold hearted Death Eater. He’s using you to get to me.” He says, the words burning me like flames. “If you knew a single thing about him, if you saw the side of him that I do, you wouldn’t dare say that.” I say in a hushed, but harsh voice. “The side that had his tongue down your throat?” He hisses at me, his face furiously red. I draw my wand, pressing it firmly against his throat. “I’m with him, I’m dating him and there’s nothing you can do about it. It's none of your concern. Get out before I hex you to oblivion.” I whisper, my voice filled with more anger than I ever thought possible. My arm doesn’t lower or even waver as Harry turns to walk out, without another word. 

I lock the door behind him, not risking anybody seeing me like this. My breathing becomes heavier and more staggered as I drop my wand on the floor. I can feel myself losing my grip. I fall into fetal position on the bed, immediately wheezing as tears rush down my face. I try to breathe through it, but I just end up coughing, causing myself more pain. I wipe my face, only for more tears to fall.

Within forty-eight hours, I lost my best friend, my father and my mother. Losing Harry is undoing me at the seams; I don’t know what I’ll do without him. He's helped me through everything. Now that I lost Harry, I’ll undoubtedly lose Ron as well; he won’t be able to look at me without seeing Draco in my eyes. Now that Harry knows, I’ll have to tell Draco. When he finds out, I’ll lose him too. I can’t lose Draco too; he’s all I got left.

I pull my blanket over me, holding it close to my face. I try to think of something that will make me stop crying, something happier. Not happy enough to conjure a patronus with, but something happy enough to make me want to wake up tomorrow, something to make living bearable. The saddest part is, I can’t think of anything. All of my happiest memories involve Harry, but when I think of him, I am reminded of what happened. I’m reminded that he’s not here anymore to make the hurt go away because he’s the source. He always knew how to make it go away, to make it better. He always knew how I felt and I, him. From the moment I met him, when I was just a little girl crying on the train, he knew.

 

~~~~~~~~

 

A small girl with dark curly hair sits upon the train, crying as it departs with her on it for the very first time. She sits opposite a freckled boy with orange hair whom was wearing oversized, tattered clothes. He seemed not to notice his lifelong friend sobbing as he vigorously waved to his mother and sister as they grew smaller and smaller as the train moved further from the platform. Not that he could hear her sobs, as the train whistle was blaring loudly, blocking out all other noise. Although, he wasn’t very good at noticing those kinds of things.

The girl continued to cry, as her mother never showed up to say goodbye to her today. As she was only eleven and it was her first time going to Hogwarts, it was only fitting that her mother would leave her father’s side to see her off. After all, she is her only child. Unfortunately, she wasn’t deemed important enough in her mother’s eyes to warrant a goodbye, even if she had promised her that she would come. She felt her heart sink in her chest as she lost all hope.

The compartment door opens, revealing a boy also about eleven, with shaggy raven colored hair and thick, round glasses, taped together at the nosepiece. His clothes were a bit too large on him, undeniably hand-me-downs. “Can I sit here?” He asks, his eyes innocently looking at the freckle-faced boy. “Everywhere else is full.” He continues, his eyes drifting to the girl, still sniffling. The girl did not answer, barely looking at him, while the orange-haired boy replied, “Of course.”

As the boy with the glasses sat down next to the girl, the freckled boy introduced himself as Ron Weasley, offering his hand. The boy takes it, smiling kindly before introducing himself. “Nice to meet you! I’m Harry, Harry Potter.” He says, causing Ron’s eyes bulge out of his head and the girl to stop sobbing for a moment, staring at the boy in wonder. He was a hero, a celebrity, and he seemed not to know the weight it carried in this world.

Ron asked Harry many questions, only some of which, Harry knew the answer to. Although, he continued to be polite all the same. After Ron had been talking rapidly about Hogwarts for quite some time, Harry interrupted him, glancing slightly at the girl to his right. “I don’t mean to be rude, but who is this?” He points to the girl and Ron goes to speak but the girl beats him to it. She sits up, still slouching, and wipes her eyes, offering Harry her hand. “I’m Katherine, Katherine Creswell.” She stutters out, fighting another sob. He smiles warmly at her, shaking her hand. She returns a weak smile to him, so as not to be rude. “Nice to meet you.” He says, still smiling wide. 

He hesitates, choosing his next words carefully. “I’m sorry, but why are you crying?” He asks her, studying her reddened face. She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear before shrugging. “It’s nothing; don’t worry about it.” He gives her a hard look, obviously not convinced by her half-hearted answer. “It’s not nothing; you’ve been crying since before I walked in.” He says, putting a hand on her shoulder. A tear slips down her cheek, but she quickly wipes it away, hoping that Harry didn’t see, but of course he did. “It’s stupid; don’t worry about it.” She repeats, shaking her head. She’s not really used to people taking this much of an interest in her. Only the Weasleys every treated her with such care, as her mother wasn’t around much. She was too busy taking care of her father, whom doesn’t exactly remember who Katherine is. 

Harry’s eyes were filled with concern, something not very familiar to her. She sighs, knowing that she wasn’t going to lie her way out of this. This was a look that she would come to know very well in the coming years; it seemed to say, ‘we both know that’s not true, so let’s stop lying to each other’. “My mum, um, well she didn’t come to say goodbye to me today. She promised me that she would, assured me, but she still didn’t show. I should’ve expected as much…” Her words trail off as her eyes glimmer with tears once more. 

Harry shakes his head, replying kindly, “That’s not stupid, not at all. You’re allowed to be upset. Your mum should have been there; I’m so sorry. Come here.” He says, opening his arms. She hesitates before moving closer to him. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, holding her carefully. It was a hug laced with genuine care, with loving intent. He held her in his arms, empathizing with her in that moment. It was strange that she felt so close to someone she had only met a few minutes ago, but he was kind to her, he understood. 

She allowed herself to cry in his arms, being held by someone she scarcely knew. It felt strange, but at the same time it felt familiar, it felt warm. “It’s going to be okay.” He whispered in her ear reassuringly. He repeated it over and over again, trying to get her to believe it. With each time he said it, she felt the weight being lifted off of her heart slowly, allowing her to breathe. “I promise.” Harry whispered, letting her go. The look in his eye was one she had never been looked at with before; it was one of trust, one of friendship.

"It's going to be okay." He stated one more time to her. And for a while, it  _ was  _ okay. He made it okay; he was always able to make her smile, make her laugh, even in the darkest of times. He had become a beacon in her life. He had always known how to make her feel better. He knew everything about her and she him. They, of course, became the best of friends along with Ron Weasley and a bushy haired girl named Hermione Granger who they had met only moments after, but they always felt closest to each other. There was a sort of connection they made that day that had bonded them. They became each other’s anchors, always making sure that the other was okay. Harry had kept his promise and Katherine had pledged to do the same for him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a twist here to keep things interesting; I hope y'all like it.
> 
> Feedback from my readers gives me life, so don't forget to leave Kudos and comments below!
> 
> -Em:)


	14. Chapter Fourteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Christmas holiday ends, bringing Katherine, Harry, Hermione and Ron back to school as Katherine struggles to cope with the events of the past few weeks. She hasn't spoken to Harry since that night, but his glares say more than his words could.
> 
> Katherine's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi,
> 
> Another longer chapter that's a somewhat filler, but helps to show what Katherine's going through since her father's death.
> 
> Enjoy:)
> 
> -Em

Hermione and I sit alone in a compartment on the train together in complete silence. I stare out the frosty windows and try to remember that I’ll be at Hogwarts soon. I know that even when I get there, it won’t all go away, but at least Harry and I will have distance and I will have Draco. I feel like I’m falling further and further into a dark, endless abyss with every breath. There’s been a rift between us all since that night Harry and I had our argument. We haven’t spoken since that night, although we spent all of holiday in the same house. Ron hasn’t been avoiding me, but I’ve caught him staring at me with a hateful look in his eyes. I know that when he looks at me, all he can see is me with Draco. I know Harry told him, I could hear his outrage from mine and Ginny’s room while everyone else was outside.

Although Hermione knows, she still treats me relatively normally, but sometimes I can see the way she dances around conversations so as not to bring up Draco or Harry. I think she realizes how much I need her and how I can’t stand to lose her, especially not now. She's the only one I've got left. She’s distanced herself from Ron, giving him looks of longing, but also of anger when he’s not looking. He hurt her by dating Lavender, but he doesn’t even seem to realize it. 

I excuse myself, taking my fresh robes with me to the lavatory on the Slytherin side of the train so as not to have to walk past Harry and Ron’s compartment. I hold my robes to my chest as I approach, drawing stares and whispers as I walk. Not only was I a Gryffindor walking through the Slytherin compartment, but my father had just been murdered by Death Eaters of which many of the parents of Slytherin students belonged. I got an uneasy feeling just passing through. I glance over to where Draco’s ‘friends’ are sitting and I can see Pansy cackling at the sight of me. I wish I could just jinx her and be done with it.

I shut the door to the bathroom, letting out a long breath. I put on my uniform, layer by layer, feeling myself become more trapped in my own body by the second. As I tie my tie, I feel claustrophobic, finding it suddenly hard to breathe. I look at myself in the mirror, fighting back tears. ‘Don’t cry,’ I tell myself, while biting my lip. I fix my hair before gathering my clothes and preparing myself to walk back out into the world. 

I return to the compartment to find it completely empty besides our trunks as Hermione has probably gone out to change as well since we should be arriving momentarily. She arrives back shortly after, neatly placing her folded clothes back into her trunk before sitting down across from me. There are almost a glimmer of tears forming in her eyes for a moment. She looks out the window, but then looks at me, studying my face. She opens her mouth as if to say something, but as she does, the train lurches to a stop. 

I thought it best not to attend dinner tonight, as I’m not very hungry and I know that I’ll be forced to face Harry and Ron, but Hermione insisted, so I walk into the Great Hall with her as everyone watches me. “It’s okay.” Hermione whispers, giving me a lighthearted smile. For a moment I thought that she was talking about the stares, but then I looked over at the Gryffindor table to which we were approaching. I caught Harry’s eyes on me, glistening with hurt and a flicker of hatred. He looked away quickly as he saw me catch him. I feel a pit in my stomach causing me to lose any sense of appetite that I might have had.

I lean over toward Hermione, still gazing over at Harry and say, “Hermione, I can’t do this.” She reaches over to grab my arm and respond, but she’s too late. By that point I was halfway out of the Hall, I was almost running away, tears forming in my eyes. I can’t face Harry, not now. It's too hard, especially knowing that Draco's somewhere here as well. I can't take it knowing that he hates me.

I run through the corridors, not really knowing where I was to go, but running away nonetheless. My vision was blurred by my tears, now streaming down my face. Not being able to see and being as clumsy as I am, I collide into someone, almost landing me on the floor. "O-oh. I'm sorry. I wasn't looking." I say, looking at the person's feet. “We have got to stop meeting like this.” A familiar voice says, helping me to my feet. I wipe my eyes and look to see the blurry figure of Draco Malfoy standing before me. He envelops himself around me, steadying me.

He puts his hands on my shoulders, furrowing his eyebrows as he examines me. “I’m so sorry, Love.” He says in a voice so sincere it was unfamiliar in Draco’s voice. He had obviously heard about Dad, everyone has by now. Of course, his aunt had been the one to do it, so he’d been one of the first to hear. He wipes the tears off of my cheeks and kisses me gently. 

“You look dreadful.” He says, shaking his head. “That’s what every girl wants to hear from her boyfriend.” I say meekly, attempting a weak smile. Honestly, he doesn’t look much better, as his skin carries a bit of a dull grey undertone and under his eyes look, for lack of a better word, tired. He was slouched a bit and he looked sad. His hair wasn’t gelled as it usually was, instead, It hung over his eyes slightly. He seems to appear thinner than when I last saw him, but I could be mistaken.

I feel tears sting my eye once more as I think of Harry. “What’s wrong?” He asks, “Besides the obvious, of course. I can see it in your eyes that there’s something wrong.” He says, brushing his hair out of his eyes. I realize at that moment, that I was going to have to tell him about Harry. If I don't, I might lose him forever, especially if he hears it from someone else.

I bite my lip, pulling him into an empty classroom. I hesitate on the words, having barely understood them myself. “Harry knows.” I whisper, pausing. “About us, Draco.” He stares at me in disbelief, almost as if he isn’t registering what I’m saying. After it does, he lets out a scream, “PO-!” I clamp my hand over his mouth before he could finish, muffling his shout. I release him, and he lets out a heavy breath, his colorless face, now turning pink. “Potter knows?” He repeats, his voice now hushed. I nod my head slowly, biting my bottom lip hard. 

He turns around, pacing around the classroom with his head in his hand. “I didn’t tell him, Draco. I swear.” I practically begged. I hesitate, deciding whether or not to tell him how Harry found out. “How, exactly?” He asks, seeming as if he didn’t believe me. I surely couldn’t mention the map. “He, um, saw us.” I swallow hard, thinking of the argument. “He saw us at Slughorn’s Christmas party.” He throws his head back, sighing, his slender fingers around the back of his neck. “It’s my fault.” I say immediately. “I followed you out. You told me I shouldn’t have been there and I didn’t listen. I stayed. It’s my fault he found out.” He walks slowly over to me, putting a piece of hair that had fallen into my face behind my ear. He looks angry, upset, but he doesn't voice it. Knowing him, I was surprised this didn't turn into a screaming match. He pulls me into his body, whispering so low I almost didn’t hear him. “It’s not your fault.” He holds me close reassuringly, his chin resting on the top of my head.

“Harry won’t talk to me since he told me he knew.“ I say, not looking into his eyes. I needed to tell him, even though he hates him more than anything he knows that Harry is important to me. I can see it on his face that he’s secretly pleased, but at the same time he seemed upset that I was upset. “Potter’s a prat," He says, sighing before saying, "but he’ll come round.” As he says that, the hint of a evil smirk on his face faded. “He can’t last without you.” He places a kiss on my forehead.

He lets go of my hand, making a doubtful face. “If this gets out, Katherine. I won't be able to do this anymore. I won't be able to be with you.” I shake my head putting my hand on his cheek. “It won’t; I promise. As mad as he is at me, Harry wouldn’t tell anyone.” I say desperately, trying to cling on to him. I didn't want to lose him. I decide not to tell him about the kiss (or how Harry is in love with me) or how Ron and Hermione know as well because I very well know he wouldn’t be happy. If I did tell him about the kiss, he would march into the Great Hall and hex Harry on the spot. That was the last thing I needed. Maybe one day I’ll tell him, just not now. Instead, I stand on my tiptoes and kiss him deeply as I’ve wanted to since holiday began.

When we part, he gives me a smirk, “God, I’ve missed you Creswell.” I smile weakly, kissing him again. “You’ve no idea how much I missed you, Malfoy. I’ve had a horrible go around this holiday.” I say, taking in his scent, making me melt into his touch. 

Despite feeling safe within Draco’s arms, I still feel as if I’m on the verge of tears. The feeling’s been lingering since my dad died, but I thought it might disappear when I came back to Hogwarts, when I came back, but I was wrong. I can't expect everything to go back to normal now, everything's changed, even if we seem so far removed inside of the false safety of the castle.

Regardless of how I feel now, I’m determined to make myself feel better in the moment. I have to forget, at least for a moment. I need to escape the grief of it all, the responsibility. I throw my arms around Draco, pulling him down to kiss me. He deepens the kiss, bringing me closer to him than I already am. He moves to my neck, making sure trail on each inch, not caring that he was leaving purple splotches all over. In the moment, I didn’t care either, about anything. I didn’t care about Harry or the fact that he knew about Draco and me; I didn’t care about my mother's feeble mental state or that my father's murder is the reason for that. I wasn’t worried about my NEWTs or beginning apparition lessons. I didn’t care about someone catching us together right there. I only cared about Draco and I and how were here together. No matter how selfish that made me, it felt good not to worry for just a single second. 

We sit side-by-side on one of the desks, holding hands. I hide the damaged one; I know Draco wouldn’t be happy if he found out about it. I put my head on his shoulder, leaning into him. “One of these days, I’m going to take you on a proper date, not just hiding out in a bathroom or a broom cupboard.” He says. “I’d like that.” I say, forcing a smile. I don’t exactly know how we would do that, considering we can’t be seen together, but I’d like it nonetheless.

 

~~~~~~~~

 

I leave him in the classroom a while later after checking my watch, noting that dinner was over. I go back to the common room to find Harry, Ron, Lavender, Ginny, and Dean sitting around the fire, talking. I feel my heart sink into feet as I walk past, trying not to look at them. They, however, with the exception of Dean and Lavender, made no effort not to stare. Harry’s piercing glare cut right through me like a knife, making me feel as though I couldn’t breathe. I'm not used to him looking at me like that. Ron’s eyes glimmered with disappointment and rage as he put his arm around Harry, trying to get him to turn back around as I approached the staircase. Lavender was all over Ron, as usual, nuzzling herself into him.

I looked down at my feet as I went up, my mind still seeing Harry’s face looking at me with such hatred, such sadness. It made all the happiness that Draco had caused me, fade away immediately. The pit in my stomach grows with each step up, consuming me. I let out an uneasy breath as I reach the top. I stand there for a moment, debating on whether I should look back. I decide against it, instead walking to my room, where I can cry semi-privately. 

I open the door to see Hermione sitting on her bed, reading. Her form is rather tense as she sits, her jaw clenched. Her eyes trail up to me, causing her face to soften a bit, but not completely. “I take it  _ Won-Won  _ is still downstairs with his bubblehead of a girlfriend.” She sneers, looking as if she were about to cry. I nod, not saying anything fro the moment. “I’m sorry, Mione. He’ll come round.” She looks down for a moment and her bushy brown hair falls into her face. After a few seconds she looks back up at me, the look in her eyes changed. “Are you alright?” She asks. I shrug, frowning a bit. “I can’t even look at him, Hermione. It hurts to look at him. He’s my best friend.” I say. 

“I know you miss him. He misses you too, you know. I can see it in his eyes; there’s something different about him.” She says as I loosen my tie. I sit down on the bed, feeling the unfortunately familiar feeling of a lump in my throat. I lean over, putting my head in my hands. “How was I supposed to know?” I pause, shaking my head. “For six years he was in love with me and had no idea, not a clue. He decides to tell me now, of all the times he could’ve said something, he chose now.” I sigh, looking back up at Hermione, who’s biting her lip. “You weren’t supposed to know. He didn’t want to say anything, especially after he saw you falling for,” She almost chokes on the words, swallowing hard. “Falling for Malfoy. After he saw you two together, it devastated him, Katherine; you  _ have _ to understand that. And, to be fair, I don’t even think he meant to tell you at all. I think it just, sort of, slipped out in the moment. I think that once it slipped, he hoped you leave Malfoy for him.” She says, releasing a long breath. 

Hermione knew all this time and she didn’t even tell me. “You knew?” I accuse, trying not to sound rude. She nods slowly, looking guilty. “I’m sorry. He didn’t tell me; I figured it out and confronted it about it two years ago. He wanted to ask you to the Yule Ball, you know, but by the time he plucked up the courage, Viktor’s friend had already asked you.” She hesitates for a moment, her fingers fidgeting. “He didn’t want it to ruin your friendship, so he never said anything. You guys were always so close. You understood each other in a way no one else ever could. He didn't want anything to change between you two if you didn't feel the same way.” A tear falls from my face as I think of him, but I quickly wipe it away. 

“You can’t stay like this forever. You guys are best friends. You’ll have to come to terms with the fact that he’s in love with you and that it doesn’t change anything unless you want it to just like he’s going to have to come to terms with the fact that you’re with someone else, even if it is Malfoy. You’re going to have to talk to him about it, whether you like it or not.” I sigh, knowing that she’s right, so I don’t argue or protest. I’m going to have to talk to him sooner or later. She says nothing else about the subject, releasing some of the built up tension in my chest.

I get ready for bed pulling my hair up into a loose ponytail as I lie in bed. Hermione looks over at me, giving me a rather odd look as I lean over to turn off my bedside lamp. “Lumos.” She says, her wand illuminating. “What?” I ask, raising my eyebrows. “Blimey, Katherine; your neck. Have you no self control?” She says, pointing her wand towards it. I clasp my hand over the dark purple splotches littering my neck. “Oh, um, yeah. I ran into him earlier.” I remove my hand from my neck as Hermione stares. “Looks like you ran directly into his mouth.” I feel myself go a shade of pink, biting my lip nervously. “You might not want to show those off.” She says, looking a bit disgusted. It seemed to put her off a bit. I know that as much as she tried not to, she still judged me for liking him. I think that for her, it represented factual evidence that it was true, that I was dating Draco.I don't blame her; Draco humiliated her, hurt her in the past. He's a real arse sometimes; I'm not going to lie.“I’ll try to cover them.” I whisper, frowning a bit. 

"Nox." Hermione says quietly, placing her wand on the bedside table before rolling over so that she's not facing me. I place my head down on my pillow and let silent tears flow out my eyes. I’m careful not to sniffle, so Hermione doesn’t hear me. I miss my dad, just knowing he's not here anymore, makes things feel so much more difficult. I feel like I’m suffocating in this world, each day more and more. Everything coming down on me is happening all at once and I feel as if I’m struggling to take a breath. Usually, Harry would know how to help me, but he isn’t here anymore. I have to do this on my own, starting with talking to him.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will probably be a little shorter, but more interesting.
> 
> I love hearing feedback from my readers, so don't hesitate to leave Kudos or a comment below!
> 
> -Em:)


	15. Chapter Fifteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katherine has yet to talk to Harry, but tension is building up between them as well as Ron.
> 
>  
> 
> Katherine's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi,
> 
> More of an interesting chapter, so I hope y'all enjoy, even if it is a little short.
> 
> -Em

It’s been two weeks since we’ve been back at Hogwarts and I’m still yet to talk to Harry. I just don’t know how to do it. I feel like I’ve lost all ability to formulate words around him. Hermione keeps encouraging (or nagging, whichever you prefer) me to just get it over with, but it just feel so hard. Last week, I actually almost did, but I stopped myself as soon as I saw his glowing green eyes on me. I couldn’t bring myself to walk over there; I stopped dead in my tracks, unable to move in any direction. I'm scared that he might not understand me when I do talk to him, that he'll still hate me.

It’s been unbelievably uncomfortable anytime that we’re in a room together, especially if Draco’s there too. I try to forget about it and immerse myself in whatever I’m doing at that time, but when it comes to quidditch, it’s hard. We try not to let it affect our performance on the pitch, but during practice it’s just rough. We’ve been running practices out of sync, not talking to each other and working with specific groups of people. I’ve been training my chasers while he’s been dealing with the beaters and Ron, so that we don’t have to talk to each other. The whole team can see so plainly that something’s wrong, whispering when they think we aren’t paying attention, but I try to ignore it. It’s quite obvious there’s damage to the team when the co-captains aren’t on speaking terms, especially since Harry and I were so close before.

I sit now next to Hermione in the Great Hall, picking at a piece of toast I took for breakfast. Harry and Ron sit not too far away, so I’ve hardly looked up from my empty plate the entire time we’ve been here. Hermione’s reading the texts Flitwick sent for homework one more time, as she heard he might be giving a pop quiz later in the day. She looked anxious, gnawing at her bottom lip ferociously.

My eyes trail from my plate and glance over at the Slytherin table where Draco sits in between Crabbe and Goyle, his head propped up by his arm. He looks miserable and rather disinterested in whatever Pansy, who's sitting across from him, is talking about. I lock my eyes on him, hoping that he’ll see me, even for a second, but he doesn’t. He's just staring down at the table, zoned out. We’ve been seeing quite a lot of each other lately, as I haven’t got anyone else besides Hermione and she’s been spending quite a bit of time with Harry. It’s okay though because I actually enjoy the time I spend with Draco; he keeps my mind off of things. Although, he’s been disappearing lately and I don’t know where. He makes excuses if I bring it up, but I never pry. I mean, he’s probably just in his common room, but when I can’t find him, I’m forced to go to the library and do all of my assignments on my own in silence.

Sixth year is tougher than I expected and I knew it was going to be harder than all the past years. Those who thought it would be easy (Ron), were sadly mistaken. I’ve been using every free period I have for studying or working on the extensive assignments we’ve been getting. Nonverbal spells are now expected in all classes, causing half of the students to turn a shade of purple during every lesson. Apparition lessons began last Saturday, just adding another thing to worry about to the ever-lengthening list. It’s a lot harder than I ever could have imagined. 

If we survive this war, I hope that all my studying and hard work will have paid off. I’ve wanted to be an auror for as long as I can remember. I want to help those who can’t help themselves; I want to defend the innocent from the cruelness of the world, so they will never have to know how bad things can really get. I want to be selfless, like my father was. He was brave; he’d rather suffer and die than betray his friends. I’m quite proud to be his daughter and I hope he’d be proud of me. I’d like to think I’d be able to do the same if it came down to it, his sacrifice. I get teary-eyed thinking about him, how he never really got to know who I was, and I him.

When it comes time to go to class, I stand up immediately, getting out of the Great Hall as fast as possible, Hermione trailing close behind. I hug my books close to me, comforting myself. “Slow down, Katherine.” Hermione says, struggling to keep up. I slow down slightly, allowing for her to join my side. “Sorry.” I mutter, looking straight ahead. She goes on talking about how worried she is for Charms later. “I can’t believe how unprepared I am. I mean, we’re all going to fail.” She says while I half-listen. "We both know you're not going to fail, Hermione, so don't worry." I state. 

We’re among the first to enter the classroom, taking our seats. I sit alone at my table until Ron shows up, causing the pit in my stomach to return. He doesn’t say a word, but he keeps a straight face and sort of nods his head, acknowledging that I’m there. I can see him staring at me from my peripheral vision. I avoid eye contact, keeping my eyes on the desk until I feel a familiar hand slip into mine as he sits down. 

Ron’s eyes glare at Draco deeply, his jaw clenched with pure hatred. Draco looks at him, smirking whilst raising his eyebrows. “What’s your problem, Weasel?” He says, his voice laced with arrogance. Ron shifts in his chair, his eyes still steady on Draco’s, “I think you know damn well what my problem is, Malfoy.” The words spit out of his mouth like tongues of fire. I squeeze Draco’s hand, trying to avoid him from engaging with him, but, instead, he squeezes back. By the look in his eye, he took it as permission to argue back, unless he understood and was ignoring me, which is entirely possible. I look at him, trying to shake my head, but he’s too focused on Ron to see me. He rolls his eyes at Ron, sneering, “I think you should keep your filthy blood traitor nose out my business. I don’t recall asking for your opinion.” This was just what I didn’t want to happen. 

I knew it was inevitable, knowing both Ron and Draco. “Your prejudices are charming.” He changes his voice to a whisper. “I can see why she likes you so much. Why not go out with someone who’s obsessed with blood status?” I feel my face go hot, getting redder by the minute. “Ron.” I say, shaking my head. He glances my way, but keeps his eyes on Draco. “Your mummy and daddy wouldn’t approve, would they? Neither would your dear Aunt Bella. Or maybe they would and you’re working under their orders. You’re just using her to get information on Harry, eh, Death Eater.” Ron whispers. “How dare you insult my family and my intentions! You don't know me, Weasley.” Draco hisses. “Stop!” I say as quietly as I can, as not to draw attention to us. I look over at Pansy, making sure she didn’t hear it, which from the looks of it, she was paying too close attention to making a piece of paper float in front of her to notice the argument going on two feet from where she sits. 

To be safe, I draw out my wand, keeping it low, but pointing it at Pansy. I concentrate, thinking to myself, ‘muffliato’. "You're going to end up in Azkaban, just like your father." Ron spits. Draco’s smirk fades into a sneer. “You little Weasel. You're going to pay for that.” He spits. He reaches into his pocket to draw his wand. “Draco, stop.” I say, looking into his eyes. He moves his head to look at me, his jaw clenched in fury. His eyes flicker back and forth from me to Ron, his wand still pointed to Ron’s stomach. “Please.” I whisper, my eyes pleading with his. After a moment, his jaw unclenches and he puts his wand back into his pocket. "You're lucky, Weasley." He huffs. I turn around to see if anyone noticed, but it seemed that the only pair of eyes towards our table was a too familiar pair of green eyes staring into mine. I turn back around quickly, sinking my head into my chest. "You can't do that; I won't have it." I whisper to him. "He's my friend." He sighs, but still looks angry. "I'm sorry, Ron." I say ever so quietly. "Control your boyfriend." He says, shaking his head. Draco’s hand finds its way to my knee, trying to comfort me. Ron’s glare doesn’t waver, even as Professor Binns floats into the room. Throughout the lesson, I could feel Harry’s eyes piercing into the back of my head, filling me with pain and guilt.

 

~~~~~~~~

 

“You don’t have to apologize for anything, just talk to him. He misses you more than you could know.” Hermione’s words ring in my ear as I walk through the corridor. I sigh, knowing I can’t avoid this much longer. I have to talk to him; I miss him so much. I haven’t quite figured out what I’m going to say, as I feel like I don’t know how to talk to him anymore. I know that he’s still the same person and I am too, but something feels different. It feels impossible to even muster a word or even a glance towards his way. 

My life feels so empty without him in it. He was always able to make me laugh or smile when I was upset. We were always able to comfort each other without having to say a word, we just knew. I’ve been forced to mourn by myself, trying to find my way without him for the first time since I was eleven. We’ve helped to make each other’s lives bearable even at the darkest of times. I miss him more than I ever thought I could. You never really realize how much you could miss someone until they’re gone. It feels like Harry’s been carrying around a piece of my heart, leaving me broken. Nothing’s been the same without him and I can’t stand it anymore.

I can hear my heart loudly beating in my ears as I approach the dark haired figure walking a few feet ahead of me. The hallway is filled with people going down to the Great Hall for breakfast, but they clear out quickly. I get close, going to grab his arm, but missing. “Harry, wait.” I say, out of breath from running. He stops, but doesn’t turn around to face me. “I didn’t mean any of what I said, Harry. You’re my best friend; you have been since that first day on the train and you will be for the rest of my life.” I hesitate, taking a long breath in, forcing the air into my lungs. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I would never want to hurt you. I didn’t know, honest. I know you’re not happy that I’m with him and I know you’ll never approve, but I need you to know that I am happy, that he makes me happy.” I pause once more, putting a strand of hair behind my ear. He stands, unmoving. “I need you to know that I  _ do  _ love you and that I will always love you. You’re my best friend.”

With that, he turns around, his green eyes glowing. I bite my lip to keep it from quivering as he looks at me. For the first time in weeks, his eyes sparkled, looking caringly into mine. “I don’t want you to hate me, Harry. I wouldn’t be able to stand it.” I say quieter. I look down at my shoes, feeling a lump rise in my throat. “I could never hate you, Katherine.” He says softly, causing me to look up at him. A tear slips down my cheek along with a sigh of relief. He moves closer, wrapping his arms around me tightly. “Not in a million years could I ever hate you.” He whispers into my hair. “I’m scared this is going to change everything.” I say, sniffling. He shakes his head. “I’ll always love you; nothing can ever change that. Not even Malfoy.” I let out a sob, swallowing hard. "I'm sorry as well. I shouldn't have yelled at you. And I shouldn't have watched you on the Map. It wasn't right." He whispers.

He lets go of me, holding onto my forearm. “As much as I hate him and how much I can’t stand the thought of you with him, I'll try. I just want you to be happy, whether it’s with me or someone like him.” I give him a weak smile, wiping my eyes. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me. I left you alone after your father died; I never should have done that. When it was Sirius, you never would have left my side. You sat with me for days until I was somewhat alright. I just left you to fend for yourself. I was a shitty friend. I hurt you and I never meant to.” I shake my head, saying nothing more than, “Don’t apologize; it’s okay.” Or at least it will be. He squeezes my arm, smiling. “I’ve missed you.” He says, putting his arm around me. “I’ve missed you too, Harry.” I say as we walk side by side to the Great Hall, filling each other on what’s been going on since we last talked. It feels a little different, but he's still Harry, still my best friend. We're not going to let this get between us. I know that not everything is back to normal and it probably never will be, but it feels as if a weight was lifted off of my chest. It feels as if I could breathe for the first time in a long time. It feels as if everything could be okay after all. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be up soon:)
> 
> I love hearing feedback, so don't hesitate to leave comments and Kudos down below!
> 
> -Em


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A very fluffy chapter all and all
> 
> Mostly just Katherine and Draco together, not much else.
> 
> Katherine's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm updating so quickly, putting all of the work I have done out here, so there's more to come real soon
> 
> Enjoy the extremely fluffy chapter!
> 
> -Em:)

I sit down on my bed, a smile pressed against my lips as I say, “Colloportus,” locking the door. I let out a breath as a pull the note that’s been sitting in my pocket since this morning, warm against my leg. I bit my lip, anxiously unwrapping it, revealing the neat cursive handwriting on the paper. It reads:

_ ‘Skip dinner and meet me on the seventh floor. Wear something nice. ~ D.M’ _

I grin to myself, wondering what Draco had in store for tonight. We’ve been spending an increasing amount of time together as February neared its end. He had slipped the note into my pocket this morning in history of magic, telling me not to read it, unless I was alone, so I waited until now, locking the door as an extra precaution before opening it. I lie back on the bed, letting out a smiling breath. I hold the note out, studying it once more. I take out my wand, taking another look before saying, “Incendio,” causing the piece of paper to burst into flames. A pile of ashes settles on the floor, which I quickly clean up before unlocking the door with a swift ‘Alohomora.”

I sit back down on the bed, taking out my books to work on the insane amount of homework I have to get done before I meet Draco. Professor Snape set a long essay on Dementors and how to repel them and Professor Flitwick made it a point that we practice the incantation of Aguamenti. I also have a rather large exam tomorrow in Transfiguration on human transformations. As the year goes on, the workload just gets larger and larger. I’m so worried about doing well on my NEWTs that I feel like I could be Hermione. 

I sit alone, working on the essay for a while until Hermione comes in, looking flustered. She pulls her curly brown hair back into a ponytail and sits down onto her bed. “What’s wrong?” I ask, putting down my quill. “Oh just the usual.” She says, taking out her books. “Lavender?” I ask. She nods her head. “He’s such a stupid git. Why does he want her? She’s a complete airhead.” She huffs, her face turning rose. “Because he’s a stupid git. You already said it.” I say, giving her a weak smile. She lets out a laugh, biting her lip. “He’ll be sick of her soon enough.” I say. “You just have to wait it out.” She nods, “I guess you’re right.” She sighs, opening up her Defense Against the Dark Arts textbook. 

We work separately, but speak to each other as we do so. “I’m not going to dinner tonight, Hermione.” I blurt out, knowing I’ll have to tell her why. She looks up, furrowing her eyebrows. “Why not?” She asks, frowning. I can tell by the look on her face that she already has an inkling. “I’m meeting with Draco. We have a date.” I say, trying not to smile or sound overenthusiastic. Hermione tries to give me a small smile, but it looks as if she’s in pain. “I know you’re trying not to be disgusted, Mione, but you look like you’ve just eaten a bogey flavored Bertie Bott’s bean.” I say. She gives me a weak smile and a laugh, still with a slightly disgusted undertone on her face. “Sorry.” She says. “What are you going to tell Harry?” I shrug, as I didn’t think about that. He wouldn’t be happy that I was leaving him to meet with Draco. “Just tell him I have to study for Transfiguration.” I say. She sighs, “Okay.” She looks displeased, her eyes sullen with disappointment. I didn’t like the idea of lying to Harry, but it would have a better result than the truth; I’m just trying to protect him. I don’t want to hurt him again. I only got him back a week ago.

After finally finishing the essay Snape sent and mastering Aguamenti, I check my watch to see that it’s about forty-five minutes before I have to meet Draco on the second floor. I open my trunk and pull out the red dress that I wore for Slughorn’s party, remember how much Draco had liked it. “You’re wearing that?” Hermione asks, eyeing up the dress. I nod. “He said I’m to wear something nice.” I reply, holding the dress out to look at it in the mirror. “Where is he taking you?” She asks, her tone suggesting somewhere between jealous, disgusted and curious. “I’m not sure.” I say, pulling on the dress. “Zip me up?” I ask, pulling my hair to the side. She zips my dress up before returning to sit down on the bed to work on her homework, a look of disdain etched on her face. I look at myself in the full length mirror, biting my lip. A smirk befitting of Draco passes onto my lips as I reach over to the nightstand and wave my wand over myself, watching as the color of the dress morphs into a perfect Slytherin green. Hermione scoffs, "Really, Katherine?" She says with a roll of her eyes. I let out a chuckle and shrug. I just know that Draco will appreciate it.

I go into the bathroom and do my hair and makeup, making sure it looks just right before heading out to put on my heels. “Aren’t you worried someone’s going to catch you looking like that?” Hermione says, making a good point. “I hadn’t really thought of that.” I say. “I’d say to borrow Harry’s cloak, but that’s off the table for obvious reasons.” She hesitates, thinking for a moment. I don’t know if that was supposed to hurt, but it did. Kind of a cheap shot for Hermione. “Just wear your robes over the dress; they fall low enough that you won’t see the the heels and high enough that you won’t see the dress.” She says. God, sometimes I really love how clever she is. “Hermione you’re absolutely brilliant.” I hug her tight. “Thank you so much.” She smiles, squeezing my arm.

I pull on my robes, straightening them out before walking out into the corridor. I hold my breath as I walk down the stairs to where a bunch of other Gryffindors, including Harry and Ron sit, working on their papers for Snape. “Oh hey, Kat.” Harry says, as I feel my heart stop. I'm going to have to lie to his face, right here, right now. I smile, “Hi Harry.” I say, walking to the door. “Where are you going?” He asks, his eyebrows raised curiously. “I’m just going to the library.” I say, holding out my bag. He nods, “Alright, I guess I’ll see you later, then.” He looked a little suspicious, but shrugged it off. I walk out of the portrait hole, releasing a long breath. That was the most awkward confrontation I’ve ever had with him in my life. I feel as if I had just committed a crime. I hate lying to Harry; it feels unnatural. 

I reach the seventh floor, wandering around, looking for Draco. The floor is completely empty, as everyone is at dinner. The only noise comes from the clicking of my heels as I walk, echoing through the halls. I stand with my back against the wall, looking down at the floor. I wait for him, checking my watch almost every thirty seconds anxiously. I can’t help, but feel that he might have forgotten. Before any real doubt sets in, I hear a pair of footsteps coming from corridor. I smile as his figure comes into view. He’s wearing a pressed black shirt and matching slacks, almost identical to the ones he usually wears. His hair is combed and gelled back, his grey eyes sparkling. “Why, hello.” I smirk, walking closer to him. I place my hand on his shoulder, pulling him close to me. “Hello, yourself.” He smiles, kissing my cheek. “Why are we up here?” I ask, my eyebrows furrowed. He holds up a finger, pacing back and forth three times whilst closing his eyes. He opens them and to my amazement, the door to the Room of Requirement appears before us. I should have known that he'd be so clever.

I grin at him as he grabs hold of my hand, asking, “Ready?” I nod, looking at the elaborate door in front of us. “Of course.” I whisper unintentionally low. The door opens to reveal a large room, lit entirely by candles with a table at the center. At the table, there were two places set, one for each of us. The room was decorated elegantly, everything so perfect. “Wow.” I say breathlessly. I’ve seen the room before, but never has it looked like this. When we used it last year, it took the form of a gathering place, somewhere to train, but now, it took the form of a beautiful place for Draco and I. I stand with an amazed look on my face, astonished at how perfect it was. He grabs my other hand and pulls me close to face him. “Do you like it?” He asks, a hopeful, but anxious smile on his face. “It’s perfect.” I reply, placing a peck on his lips. “I thought it could be our place, like we talked about. A place where no one can find us.” I feel warmth fill my heart, spreading throughout my body. I smile and embrace him, reassuring him that it’s perfect.

I pull off my robes, now that we’re completely alone and no one can see us, revealing the formerly red dress underneath. He stands behind me, wrapping his arms tightly around my waist. His breath hot on my neck as he says, “You’re so beautiful.” I lean my head towards him and smirk as his lips meet mine. His grey eyes stare deeply into my brown ones, studying every flash of color within them. "Slytherin green?" He asks with a smirk. I nod as I trail my fingers on his jaw with a feather-light touch. "Just a little reminder that I'm yours." I breathe out. I turn to face him, putting my hands on the back of his neck, twirling his white-blonde locks with my fingers. “Shall we eat?” He asks, gesturing towards the table. “I had to steal it from the kitchen, but…” He trails off, a smile of sorts plays across his face.

He pulls out the chair for me, gesturing for me to sit down. "Always the gentleman, Malfoy." I say, smiling as I slid into the seat. "Always." He says, pushing the chair in. He sits in the chair opposite me, passing me a goblet of pumpkin juice. He has a cocky expression on as he eats, making me want to laugh. 

  
Everything was just right; for the first time in a long time, I felt normal. I was just a girl on a date with a boy and nothing could stop that. It didn’t feel as if we were hiding from anyone because no one could find us, no one could know where we are. We didn’t have to worry in here about anything; it was as if time stopped while we were in this room, as if we were the only two people in the world. It felt like we were free to do whatever we wanted without consequence.

He held me close to him, swaying back and forth as music played through the record player that appeared in the corner of the room. He spins me, sending a flutter to my heart. We laughed as I struggled to dance in my heels; he caught me as I almost fell flat on my ass. He laughs a bit at me as he dances with ease. “How are you so good at this?” I ask, my face pink with a small bit of embarrassment. “I was forced to take lessons in ballroom dancing. I absolutely hated it, but I guess it paid off. I impressed you.” He says, laughing. “Why am I not surprised?” I laugh. His face gains a flash of color for a moment, but it fades quickly. I try to imagine a young Draco taking dance lessons, having the disinterested look in his eyes that he had in most lessons. “C’mon, I’ll teach you.” He says, a confident smile on his face. “Alright, but let me take these off first; I wouldn’t want to break your foot.” I say, holding onto him as I pull my high heels off, leaving me barefoot on the cool stone floor. He guides me as we go; I try to keep up, but I keep messing up my steps, making him chuckle. 

“I wish I could’ve taken you to the Yule Ball. Not that you could do all that much dancing.” He says, still laughing after I stepped on his foot. I roll my eyes at him, smiling. “If only we could have, but then again, back then, I didn’t know you and you didn't know me.” I say, remembering how I had once felt about Draco. I never could have imagined having a conversation that didn’t end in an argument, let alone that I’d be dancing with him on a date in the Room of Requirement. “I wish that I could say that I did, that we had always been this way with each other, but I can't.” I blurt, thinking out loud. "We lost those years before we even really knew each other." I can't seem to stop speaking. “It might have been easier that way.” He says, brushing hair out of my face. “It would have been just as complicated, Draco. No matter how you look at it; we always end up here: at war in a society that doesn’t want us to be together. This was decided before we were even born, before we met, before us, before this. It’s not our fault and I’m certainly not sorry that ended up here. I’m not sorry that I kissed you that night. I'm not sorry that you kissed me or that I saw through you, getting past the part that made you an insufferable prick. I’m not sorry that I fell in love with you. I’ll never be sorry about that, regardless of what anyone says.” The words slip out of my mouth before I can stop them. 

It feels as if the music stops, but of course it really doesn’t. We stop dead in our tracks, no longer dancing, just standing to face each other. I struggle to take a breath as I take in the gravity of what I had just said. I had rarely thought about it myself, dismissing and denying it whenever it popped up in my mind. Now, I had spoken the words, pushing the vulnerable words out into the open for Draco and myself to hear aloud. He stands, shocked, looking as if he was trying to find something to say. He takes a long breath in as suspense builds in my stomach. I feel as if I could have ruined everything, but I don’t know what to do, what to say to make it better. "I-I..." I trail off, unable to formulate anything to say.

He licks his lip, seemingly preparing to say something. He smirks in that way he does. "Merlin, Katherine. I know I'm irresistible, but..." He says. My face sort of scrunches up in doubt. I go to move away from him, retreating back into myself, but he grabs my wrist. “I’m not sorry either.” He whispers, his face softening. “I’ll never be sorry that I fell in love with you. It’s nothing that I could ever regret, feel bad about. There’s not a doubt in my mind about it, about you, about us.” His hand carefully caresses my cheek as I force air out of my chest. I smile as he leans down to kiss me deeply.

For that night, we just lie together on a sofa that had appeared in front of a fireplace. My head lays perfectly against his chest, feeling his breath rise and fall, hearing his heartbeat. We stare into the roaring hearth, not really talking, just enjoying being together. He keeps me warm; I feel as if he’s protecting me, from the world, from any harm that can come our way, but of course that's not true. I nestle into him, trying to forget about anything that I had on my mind other than us, here and now. Before I even know it, my eyes become heavy, drawing me into a deep sleep within Draco’s arms. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ended on a bit of a happy note, but not all chapters can be like this one of course
> 
> Remember to leave Kudos and comments down below! I love hearing from my readers!
> 
> -Em


	17. Chapter Seventeen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An interesting chapter in my opinion; it's not fluffy at all, as it doesn't contain much in it about Draco or his relationship with Katherine, but I enjoyed writing it nonetheless.
> 
> Katherine's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the length of the chapter; I didn't realize how short it was until now, but oh well.
> 
> This is more of a serious chapter, not much humor or fluff at all
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> -Em

Hermione and I hurry close behind Professor McGonagall as she leads us through the corridors. Four simple words was all she had to say to get us to come with her to the Hospital Wing: “Ronald Weasley’s been poisoned.” She hadn’t told us how it happened or if he was going to be okay, instead, we just ran through the corridors filled with people going to breakfast to get to the Hospital Wing. As shocked and scared as I was, I looked as if I didn’t care next to Hermione, who began to hyperventilate. Her has since calmed down, her jaw was now clenched though and she hadn’t spoken since McGonagall had come into our room. She’d been ignoring Ron for quite some time now and looked guilty, as if she had been responsible on some level, but of course it couldn't have been her fault.

When we burst through the doors, the room is filled to the brim with people. The possible attack on Ron had brought numerous teachers into the room, including Snape, McGonagall, Slughorn, Professor Sprout, and Professor Flitwick, all a ghastly shade of white, sharing the same look of slight panic in their eyes. This was the second attack on a student this year. I couldn’t help but notice that Dumbledore was missing from the group. They all move over, parting to show the bed in which Ron resides at.

Harry’s eye catches mine and he stands up and wraps his arms around me as I try to catch my breath from running. “What happened?” I ask, a worrisome expression across my face. Harry spoke very quickly, an extremely nervous titter in his voice, “Ron had been opening his birthday presents and I had a box of Chocolate Cauldrons lying on the floor, you know, the ones that Romilda Vane had spiked with love potion,” I nod, remembering vividly when Romilda had tried repeatedly to slip Harry a love potion earlier in the year. “Well, you know Ron, he ate the chocolates thinking they were a present, practically the whole box. It was a particularly strong potion, so I took him to Professor Slughorn, which is the first I’ve spoken to him outside of class since my failed attempt at getting the memory the other night.” He whispers that part, making sure that only Hermione and I could hear.

“Anyway, he brewed up an antidote and gave it to Ron, which put him back to normal. Then, Slughorn took out a bottle of Madam Rosmerta's Special Oak Matured Mead to celebrate Ron’s birthday, but Ron took the first sip and he gained an empty look in his eye before he fell back on the floor, seizing. I didn't know what to do at first, I thought he was going to die. Slughorn was no help, he just stood there like a bloody statue. I remembered the other day in lessons, when I read in the Prince’s book that a bezoar can cure most poisons. I’m lucky Sluggy still had the one he took from me in his desk, otherwise Ron’d be dead.” He still looked a little stunned from the morning’s events, glancing over at Ron.

“You saved him?” Hermione squeaked, startling me a little, as she had been so quiet I’d almost forgotten she was here. “It was just luck. Even you have to admit Hermione, that if it weren’t for that book…” He trails off as Hermione shoots him a glare, but says nothing. She was the biggest opposer to the Half-Blood Prince’s textbook and not even this would change her mind. As we approach Ron, I grab Harry’s hand, gasping at the sight of him. He looked so peaceful, it was as if he were dead. His skin lacked its usual color, rendering his freckled face near white. Hermione buried her head on my shoulder, unable to bring herself to look at him for more than a moment. I've never seen him like this; Ron's always been so full of life.

Ginny sits at his side with the familiar identical faces of Fred and George standing behind her, a hand on each shoulder. I blink a few times to make sure that I'm really seeing them. “Not one of Ron’s better birthdays, eh?” George says, moving up to hug me. “I wouldn’t say so.” I say grimly, attempting to give him a weak smile. “When I pictured handing over our present, he was conscious.” Fred says, wrapping an arm around me. He gestured towards Ron’s bedside table, where a large, neatly wrapped gift sits atop it. 

“Wish I was seeing you guys on a nicer occasion.” Ginny says, turning around to face her brothers. They gave her a half-hearted smile. "Yeah, Gin. Us too. This isn't exactly the most joyous of occasions." Fred says. “Where’s Dumbledore?” I ask Harry, furrowing my eyebrows. “He’s with Mr. and Mrs. Weasley in his office discussing Ron. He was down here a little while ago and he should be back soon; they’ve been almost an hour.” I nod, sighing as I look at Ron. “Nice to see you two are on speaking terms again.” George says, nodding towards Harry and I. I give him a small smile, remembering that the last time we saw them, Harry and I were in the midst of our argument. 

No one knows what had exactly happened besides Ron and Hermione, but it was quite obvious that something was off. Harry and I were always together, but we spent the weeks of break as far apart as possible, not uttering a word to one another. “Yeah, I don’t think it will be such a bad thing to eliminate unnecessary tension from next Christmas.” Fred says, adding a half-hearted chuckle. Christmas had been the most awkward ever, as Harry and I stared at each other, not saying a word. Everyone could sense that there was something wrong, but danced around the problem as if they were walking through a muggle minefield.

We sat there for a while, trying to make sense of the situation as we sat around the unconscious Ron. “D’you think Slughorn was trying to poison Harry and just got the wrong person?” Fred asks. “What, d’you think Slughorn’s a Death Eater or something? That man seems so harmless. Plus, he absolutely adores Harry.” Ginny says, looking astonished at the suggestion. “Anything’s possible these days.” He whispers darkly, looking over at Slughorn, who’s sitting on an empty bed on the other side of the room, looking down at the floor aimlessly. “Maybe he was imperiused.” George adds. "It's possible." Harry says. “Or maybe, he’s innocent and the poison was in the bottle. Maybe it was meant for Slughorn himself.” I say, trying to study the look on Slughorn’s face. George looks back to me, “Who’d want to kill ole Sluggy?” I shrug, my expression grim. “Like Fred said, ‘anything’s possible these days.’” Harry bites his lip before speaking, “Slughorn had said that the bottle was a Christmas present he had forgotten to give Dumbledore. Maybe the poisoner’s after him; after all, so was the necklace that cursed Katie.” Harry’s sentence sobers our expressions, making us look from one to the other. 

For the first time since we arrived, Hermione spoke meekly, “Obviously the person didn’t know Slughorn that well because anyone who does knows that he would have kept the mead for himself. He doesn’t deny himself the simple pleasures such as that. He's a very simple man.” Everyone’s eyes trail to her, her jaw was clenched and her face stone cold. Before any of us could say anything back, Ron groans from within his unconscious state, “Er-my-nee.” We all fell silent, not knowing how to break it. My eyes go wide as they trail to Hermione. His moaning fades into snores only moments later. All of our gazes fall between the both of them, looking back and forth anxiously. Hermione looks as if she’s seen a ghost, but looks back down at her lap. 

“Maybe someone’s trying to knock out the Quidditch team; first Katie, now Ron.” Ginny says. She seemed to be think on a lighter side of things, more optimistic than I. “I don’t see that. It just kind of seems pointless, trying to knock out a quidditch team. What real good would that do? Why go through all the trouble for something so trivial.” I reply to which she shrugs. Harry looks down at his shoes and mutters under his breath, “I wouldn’t put it past Slytherin, especially Malfoy, to rig the cup.” I feel my face get hot as I hold back a glare and settle for a simple pinch on his arm. He looks up at me, ‘Ow,’ he mouths, his face astonished. "He's not even on the team anymore." Draco wouldn’t have done that. He shouldn’t have even suggested it. It couldn't have been Draco, as much as he hates Ron, he wouldn't. Thankfully, only Ginny had seemed to hear him. "I don't think it's Quidditch either, Gin." George says.

“There’s definitely a connection; I highly doubt it’s Quidditch though.” Hermione says quietly, if the room was a decibel louder, we wouldn’t have heard her. “How d’you figure that?” Fred asks, looking a bit confused, but intrigued at what Hermione has to say. “Both the attacks were meant to be fatal, but weren’t. Of course though, that was all extreme luck. That has nothing to do with anything though; Ron and Katie both could have died. Also, both the poisoned mead and the necklace never reached the person whom it was meant to. It makes the person behind it all the more dangerous; it means they don’t care how people they have to go through before they reach their target. It makes them ruthless and careless.”

Before anyone could say anything else, not that they were going to, as Hermione had said all that needed to be said, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley burst through the door. They run fast towards the bed, rushing to Ron’s side. “Has he been awake?” Mrs. Weasley asks me. I shake my head, “No, he’s still asleep.” I say, glancing at Ron, who’s still snoring gently. She spots Harry next to me, pulling him to his feet. She wraps him into a motherly hug, squeezing him tight. “I didn’t get a chance to properly thank you earlier, Harry. It seems to be that half our family owes you their lives. We could never repay you for how much you’ve done for this family.” She says, leaving Harry to awkwardly reply with a smile, not really knowing what to say.

Before long, Madam Pomfrey came into the room, reminding us that there was only allowed six visitors at a time and that two of us would have to leave. Harry seemed a bit relieved and almost eager to go, as he’s had a long day, so the two of us, along with Hermione, leave the Weasleys to gather around Ron in the comfort of his family. Ginny agreed that if he wakes up, she would tell him that we were here and we would be back to see him soon. We'd come back in a few hours and check on him before we went to bed and then again in the morning, when he'd hopefully be conscious. 

When we got back to the common room, all three of us had expected a lot of noise about Ron’s poisoning, but to our surprise, not that many people had heard yet. To our dismay (especially mine and Harry’s), we were immediately greeted by one of the few Gryffindors who heard what happened, Cormac McLaggen. Instead of asking if Ron was alright or even just leaving us alone like a normal person, the foul git had the nerve to let us know that he was available to assume the position of keeper in our Quidditch match against Hufflepuff next week. Having no one else to play, we begrudgingly said yes, having no other choice. Giving McLaggen what he wanted left a sour taste in my mouth as he began to tell us all of his many,  _ many _ strategies and tips, as if we had no clue what we were doing and we had been picked as captains simply because we were on the team. I can already tell that this is going to be a disaster. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I greatly enjoyed writing the next chapter, so I'm excited to post it. It's much longer than this one as well
> 
> I love hearing feedback as well as replying to it, so don't forget to leave Kudos and comments down below!
> 
> -Em:)


	18. Chapter Eighteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fair warning on this chapter: There's a bit of blood coming
> 
> Other than that, it was an extremely interesting chapter to write and I hope that y'all enjoy it!
> 
> Katherine's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not much to really say here; I'm going to let the chapter speak for itself
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> -Em

During the disaster of a game against Hufflepuff, Harry had been hit in the head with a bludger by Cormac, who shouldn’t have even been holding the bat to begin with, knocking him off of his broom and landing him in the Hospital Wing for a couple of days. Without Harry, McLaggen didn’t seem to recognize my authority, even after I hit him with a beater’s bat repeatedly. Draco thought it was absolutely adorable and hilarious how angry I got, but I had to disagree. I was so close to jinxing him (Cormac) right there on the pitch it wasn’t even funny. Harry and Ron have been out of the Hospital Wing for a over a week now, so thankfully we’re shot of McLaggen, at least for now. If I had to last one more day with him on the pitch, I would have choked him.

Hermione seemed to be going back to her normal self too, no longer ignoring Ron. Now that Lavender had broken up with Ron, she seemed to be rather giddy. She’d had seen Ron and Hermione walking together and got extremely jealous causing her to break up with him on the spot. He had been so ecstatic that he gave Hermione a large hug, lifting her off the ground, causing her to turn pink. Now, whenever Lavender sees Ron with Hermione, she appears so flustered and angry that there was an over satisfied smirk across Hermione’s face that she couldn't seem to wipe away. She thought it was amusing how jealous Lavender got, even though she was no longer with him. 

“Stop it Ron, you’re making it snow!” Hermione says, slightly smirking. “Right, sorry.” He says, brushing the fake snow off of his shoulders. He laughed uncomfortably, shoving a piece of toast into his mouth. “It looks as if we all have really bad dandruff now.” He had been looking over at Lavender who was angrily glaring at him whilst he ate his breakfast. I shake the fake snow out of my hair and onto Harry who laughed. He was reading the Prince’s book, not particularly paying attention to what was going on. "She looks put out, doesn't she?" Ron asks, chuckling a bit as he notions toward Lavender, whose face was red as the shirt she was wearing. "I'd say so." I say, smiling at Hermione, who mouthed to me what looked like, 'Oh, shut up'.

I glance over towards the door for a moment and feel my heart stop for a moment. The petite girl walked carefully through the hall, looking down at her feet whilst Leanne spoke to her. She looked smaller than she did the last time I had seen her, more fragile, but it's more than understandable. “It’s Katie.” I whisper, a panicked expression on my face. She must have gotten out of St. Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. “It’s Katie Bell.” I repeat, causing Harry to immediately look up from his book to her. His head turned so quickly he could have gotten whiplash. She walks past us, Harry still staring, taking a moment to register what was going on. He then stands up, following her. "Harry, no." I call, but he's already gone. I know what he’s going to ask; I can see it in his eyes. To me, it seems a bit cruel to interrogate her on her first day back, but Harry was determined for answers. He wanted to know who had cursed her. He was so set on it being Draco, but he was wrong. He wasn't capable of something like that.

I can’t quite hear what they’re saying as it’s too loud in here and they’re too far away, but Hermione, Ron and I all watch as he speaks to her. Leanne stands firmly at her side, not wanted to move away. She looked irritated at Harry’s blunt nature, trying to pull Katie away from him. Katie spoke to him, shaking her head and giving the occasional hand gesture. She looked nervous, her fingers fidgeting with one another. Harry shrugged, giving a weak smile to her before turning around to walk back to us. Before he could, however, his eye caught on someone, settling into a glare. I turn my head to see none other than Draco Malfoy standing near the door of the Great Hall, with a rather frightened look across his face. 

My first instinct is to stand up and run to him, comfort whatever it was that was bothering him, but before I could, he backed up slowly, before running out of the hall. Harry went at a jog after him, a determined look in his eyes. Hermione grabs my wrist just as I’m about to stand, saying, “Don’t.” I stand up anyway, wriggling out of her grip, following the two of them out. I have tunnel vision as I run after Harry, seeing barely a flicker of shaggy black hair turning the corridor. I struggle to catch up as Harry enters the boys’ bathroom. 

I stop myself, standing at the doorway. From here, I can hear gasps for breath in between sobs, feeling my heart sink in my chest. I could tell within in an instant that it was Draco, my Draco, crying. I didn't know why, but I couldn't take the sound. I could hear the moans of Myrtle, but I couldn’t hear what she was saying. It sounded as if she was trying to talk to him, comfort him. For a moment I thought I heard the pained tones of his voice. I wanted to run into the room and hold him, telling him that it was going to be okay, but I didn’t move a muscle. Before I even could, I heard Harry’s voice, “I know what you did, Malfoy. You hexed Katie and you poisoned Ron. She certainly can't see you for who you are, but I can see you so clearly.” The words felt like razor blades as they echoed through the empty bathroom. 

A sudden crash fills my ears, causing me to run into the room, my footsteps sloshing in the waterlogged floor. I hide behind a stall door, looking through the crack. I can see Draco in the mirror, his eyes red and swollen as his unkempt hair brushes over his face. His wand was drawn, pointed at Harry, who had his wand almost at Draco’s throat. Draco jumps aside as a flash of light comes out of Harry’s wand. Draco immediately fires back, missing Harry by a mere few inches. I feel as if I can’t move, can’t breathe. My breath is quiet and shaky, my hand in my pocket, touching my wand. I can feel my heart being pulled in every which way. 

From another stall, I hear Myrtle call out, “No! Stop it! Stop it!” They ignore her, continuing to spout light from their wands. I close my eyes and reopen them, hoping that it was just a nightmare, but I was so wrong. None of it went away, it was all too real. They spring open once more at the sound of a mirror shattering from just behind Draco. He raises his wand again, about to utter another spell when Harry shouts, “SECTUMSEMPRA!” My eyes go wide as the light hits Draco square in the chest.

Everything appears as if it’s in slow motion after that second. As Draco falls to the ground, blood spurts from almost everywhere, drenching his white shirt. The floor, filled with water, was now diluted pink with blood. I let out a horrific, raw scream, causing Harry to look at me, absolutely terrified. He hadn't known that I was there, that I had seen everything. I don’t remember running to Draco, but I must have because I’m now sitting in a puddle on the floor next to him. I force air in and out of my lungs, tears streaming down my face. Myrtle let out a bellowing scream, “MURDER IN THE BATHROOM!” She flew above us, a panicked look across her face. Draco’s eyes reflected fear and sadness. He struggled for breath, writhing in pain. I attempt to wipe the blood from his face, but it appears again too quickly. My hands shake as I clutch at my wand, screaming out any spell possible to try to reverse this. Nothing seemed to be working, the dark red liquid continued to pour out of Draco as if there were a never-ending supply. I could feel his skin getting colder with every second. “It’s okay, Draco.” I stutter out repeating it to him over and over as he tries to speak to me, unable to find the breath to do so. “Shh.” I whisper as I gasp for breath. I hold his face in my hands, whispering, "Look at me. Stay with me." 

“SOMEONE HELP ME!” I scream, echoing in the empty bathroom. I turn around forcefully, where my eyes land on Harry, who was standing as still as a statue, looking confused and a bit scared. He seemed to be in shock of what he had done, his green eyes wide with horror. "WHAT DID YOU DO?" He says nothing, just stands there. "HARRY POTTER WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM?" I shout, but no reply follows. “DO SOMETHING! HELP ME HARRY! PLEASE!” I yell, but it’s no use; Harry just stands there, holding his breath as I hold Draco’s face. “You’re going to be okay, Draco. It’s going to be okay.” A tear rolls down his cheek, slightly bloody. He began to shake violently, swishing around in the pool of blood and water he was lying in. 

"Calm down. Breathe." I say, wiping the tear from his face. His face grew paler, almost as white as his hair. “WHAT DID YOU DO TO HIM, HARRY?” I shout. I didn’t know what to do or how to help him; I feel as if I’ve lost him already. “It’s okay; it’s okay. I love you.” I whisper to him, moving his now blood-soaked hair out of his eyes. “I love you, okay? You’re going to be alright.” I say breathlessly over and over again. “SOMEBODY! PLEASE! HELP ME!” I scream once more, pleading as I let out a large sob into Draco’s chest, now a dark red. “You’ll be okay; it’s going to be okay. I love you so much.” I wipe my red handprints from his face with my sleeve, trying with all my heart to help him.

As I let out one more desperate yell, the door creaks open, slamming against the wall. Harry and I turn our heads simultaneously, a terrified expression upon my face, as Professor Snape came into view, pushing me aside with a furious look, “Move Creswell.” He says, his voice steady as he pulls out his wand. He mutters an incantation that sounded almost musical as I held Draco’s near-lifeless hand tighter than I ever had, not caring if Snape saw. Moaning Myrtle wailed as she watched from the U-bend as he attempted to heal Draco. As Snape spoke the incantation, the blood flow seemed to slow down. It stopped all together for a moment, before reversing backwards into Draco’s body. The wounds seemed to connect themselves, repairing the skin slightly. 

Snape stood up, hoisting Draco up with him, holding him with all his strength. Draco let out a yelp of pain, causing me to hold back a sob. “He needs to be taken to the hospital wing straight away. There might be a certain amount of scarring, but if we get dittany on him quick enough, we might avoid even that…” He says, his eyes glancing up and down Draco’s body. He supports him, but gestures to me, “Creswell, grab his other side.” I nod furiously, not knowing what else to do. He shoots his head around to look at Harry, who had tears in his eyes. “Stay here, Potter. I’ll be back.” He hisses as we each hold a side of Draco, supporting him out. I didn't say anything to Harry, but I think my expression said it all. I was astonished, terrified.

We carry Draco out of the bathroom, leaving Harry alone there, and through the corridors to the hospital wing as students stare, gape and gasp and the bloody scene. Not only was I being seen helping to carry Draco Malfoy, but my clothes were nearly as blood stained as Draco’s. My face was covered in drying imprints of red. There was blood everywhere, from being matted into my hair to under my fingernails. I practically trip over my feet, trying to get him to Madam Pomfrey as quickly as possible; to rid him of the hurt that plagued him. I didn't know what else I could do.

My mind races, going a million miles per hour as I try to wrap my head around the situation at hand. I force myself to breath, trying not to bubble up with anger. I couldn’t believe that Harry could do such a thing, use such a spell, even on Draco. I knew he hated him, I knew he was jealous, I knew he thought Draco was guilty, but this, this was something else. He could have killed him, he would have killed him, if Snape hadn’t shown up, Draco would have been dead; my Draco would have been dead. Snape of all people… I could’ve lost Draco forever because of Harry. I try not to be angry, try to calm myself down. He couldn’t have known what he was doing; he wouldn’t do that. He wouldn’t do that to me, he couldn’t. But he did; he'd hurt Draco, he'd hurt me.

As soon as we rushed into the hospital wing, Madam Pomfrey ran straight to us. She looked terrified. We were the only people in the room, making a ruckus as we entered. “My word.” She whispers as she examines Draco’s face and body. Snape and I carefully place him down on the bed. He groans in pain, wincing; I bite my lip to keep from saying anything stupid. “He needs dittany.” Snape says, his face emotionless. “ _ Immediately _ .” He states, causing Madam Pomfrey to run to go get some. He turns to me raising his eyebrows. “Quite lucky for Mr. Malfoy that you were there, Miss. Creswell.” He pauses in that way he does, eyeing me over. “Quite lucky indeed that you happened to be in the _boys_ ’ bathroom at the right time.” I feel my face get hot, but I keep my tone steady. “I would say so, although it was you that saved him, sir.” I say, trying my best not to look guilty of anything. I look over to Draco, whose eyes are closed tight. He was shaking in his soaked clothes. “Anyhow, I trust that you can watch over Mr. Malfoy until I return. I have… business to attend to.” With that, he left, his black robes flowing behind him gracefully, his hooked nose held high.

Madam Pomfrey returned less than a moment later with a small dropper bottle labelled  _ Essence of Dittany _ . “What happened to the poor boy?” She asked. I recall the terrifying events of this morning, sparing her any information that she didn’t need to hear. When I uttered the the word sectumsempra, the spell that Harry had used, she gasped, looking down at Draco, shaking her head. “He’s lucky to be alive.” She says. “Are you sure you want to stay, dear? It’s not going to be pretty.” I nod, not wanting to leave his side for even a moment. “Professor Snape said that I was to stay until he came back.” I lie to which she nods. She opens up his shirt at the top, cleaning the deep gashes left by the spell before applying the dittany. Draco screamed a most horrible scream as she did, his breathing, which has just slowed down, picked up again. I could feel a lump rise in my throat and a sudden urge to calm him down. “Shhh.” I whisper. His teary eyes gaze towards me and I mouth ‘It’s okay. I love you.’ I’m not quite sure if he understood, but I hoped that he did.

She did the same for each individual cut and the screams only got more horrible. I almost couldn’t bear to look at him as she did. I found myself wiping away tears as soon as they appeared. I hated seeing him hurting. It made me feel as if someone was stabbing me repeatedly with a knife in my chest. I cared too much about him to see him this way, in this much pain. I loved him too much for anything to happen to him.

When Madam Pomfrey left Draco and returned to her office, leaving us alone, I held Draco’s pale hand carefully, so as not to hurt him. He gave my hand a light squeeze, letting me know that he was going to be okay. I run my hand through his hair, which is matted with blood. His breathing had finally slowed again, but he seemed so weak still, so fragile. His storm grey eyes looked deep into mine, trying to communicate. He takes a strangled breath inward, attempting to speak, “I-I lo-.” Before he could finish his sentence, he went into a fit of coughing. I put a hand on his face, comforting him. “Shhh, Draco. I know.” I say, nodding my head. 

I sat with him for a short while before Snape returned, demanding that I was to leave immediately. I wanted to tell Draco that I would be back later, that I wanted to stay, but I resisted the urge, so as not to let Snape gather any ideas about us. I walked through the corridors as people stared at me. For a moment, I didn’t remember why, but then I remembered that I too was caked in blood, Draco’s blood. It must look as if I had committed murder. I look down at my feet, trying to ignore everything that was happening around me. It seemed that the further I moved away from Draco, the weaker I felt. Now that my adrenaline had died down, I felt as if someone had hit me in the face with a brick.

“What in the bloody hell happened to you?” The Fat Lady asks, looking me up and down. I shrug, feeling as if I were unable to speak. She opens the portrait after I mumble the password, revealing the scene within. Hermione immediately runs over to me, enveloping me in an embrace. “Katherine, are you alright?” She asks, her face worrisome. Before I can speak, Ron does, “Of course she’s not; just look at her. She’s covered in blood and it’s not even her own. I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s in shock.” I swallow hard, surveying the room. 

Harry sits on the sofa next to Ron, his head buried in his knees. “Is Malfoy going to be okay?” He asks, his question shocking me. “Snape wouldn’t tell me.” I shrug before speaking, “He’ll recover.” I didn’t know what else to say, but the words left a dry taste in my mouth. Harry stands up, his green eyes glowing; he looks as if he had just been crying. “I’m sorry; I truly am. I didn’t mean to do that to him. I didn’t know what the spell did. Hermione was right, this book is bad news. If Snape didn’t show up…” He trails off, shaking his head, dismissing the thought from his brain. I didn’t know what to say or what to do. He tried to hug me, but I backed away, not letting him. “I’m so sorry.” He repeats. “I was out of line.” He says. Yeah, he was. He almost murdered my boyfriend. Even if it was an accident, he still nearly killed him. 

No one there questioned me further, but Hermione guided me up the stairs, helping me. “Let’s go get you cleaned up.” She said gently as we were climbing the stairs. I see Seamus and Dean gaping at me as we walk, whispering as to why I was covered in blood. Neville runs halfway up the stairs before yelling, “Katherine! What happened? Are you alright?” I say nothing, but Hermione turns around and says something to him that I don’t hear, which causes him to nod and walk back down the stairs with a worried expression on his face. 

Once in the bathroom, I look at myself in the mirror, stunned at what I saw. I was covered in more blood than I could ever imagine. Hermione forced me to turn around, so that I wasn’t traumatized at my own appearance. I peel away my ruined clothes, layer by layer, watching them drop to the floor. Hermione runs a bath for me, helping me into it. I watch as the water turns pink, reminding me of the way the floor looked in the bathroom this morning as I sat next to Draco, trying everything in my power to help him, to make him stop hurting. I submerge myself in it, trying to get the dried red substance off of my face. I scream from underneath it, allowing myself to cry. I couldn't believe that was happening and that Harry was the one who had done it. Hermione pulls me up as I choke on my sobs. She seemed to think I was drowning; I wasn’t but, even above water, I feel like I am. “It’s alright, Katherine. He’s alright.” She whispers in a calming voice.

My breathing slows as I sit there in the red water, cleaning the caked blood out of my hair. I pull my knees to my chest, focusing on each staggered breath. Every time I close my eyes I see him lying there, on the floor, cold, alone and bleeding, dying. I want to make it go away; I want to make the hurt stop, but I don’t know how. There’s so pain in this world, so much. I want to be able say to that it will be okay and I want it to be true; I want to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I shouldn't have enjoyed writing this as much as I did oops.
> 
> I love hearing feedback as well as replying to it, so don't hesitate to leave Kudos and comments down below!
> 
> -Em:)


	19. Chapter Nineteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katherine deals with the aftermath of Harry's attack on Draco in the bathroom, trying to bring herself to forgive Harry.
> 
> Katherine's POV (although next chapter will be in Draco's)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After last chapter, things get a little more complicated to say the least. This chapter's purpose is pretty much filler, but includes some information.
> 
> I hope y'all enjoy it!
> 
> -Em

I’ve spent most of my nights for the past week and a half sitting at Draco’s bedside as he recovered, holding his hand. I sit and work on assignments as we talk and just generally enjoy each other’s company. I waited until after dinner, so no one would see me and stayed until or after curfew. He’s doing better than he was, the pain had died down and bit and the gashes shrunk and looked as if they were healing. His skin has regained its normal color as well, he no longer looked like a corpse. I’m still worried for him though, but of course that’s natural I guess, when you care about someone that much.

Most of the time I’m there, Madam Pomfrey sits in her office quietly not really noticing my presence, but every once in a while, she comes in to apply more dittany to Draco’s wounds, causing him to once more fight back screams of agony. I don’t think she quite realizes why I’m there with Draco. I think she believes that I feel guilty that I witnessed what I did and that I feel obligated to make sure he’s okay. I don’t think she’d believe we were dating even if she walked in on us snogging. 

He has many visitors, Draco. They all come to see him before dinner or in the morning before class, none while I was there usually. There’s less than there were before though, as it’s calmed down since he’d first been hurt. Much to my dislike, Pansy Parkinson comes in to see him every day at least once. A few days ago, I had been hiding behind a screen in the room when had come in. She was all over him, kissing his forehead and playing with his hair. She'd sat with him, draping herself on him. I could feel my insides boiling she did; it took all the self-control I had not to jump out and punch her square in her pug-shaped face. Draco seemed disinterested and told her that he needed his rest and that she was to leave. She left finally after a bit of protest, leaving a bad taste in my mouth. He'd apologized and stated once more, that she meant nothing.

“I get out tomorrow.” Draco says, wiggling his eyebrows. He’s been trying to distract himself from it all with humor, but I can still see the hurt inside. He sits on the bed, sitting a certain way, so that it causes him least amount of pain possible, with his arms crossed at his chest, staring at me. “You make it sound like you’re getting out of prison.” I say, throwing in a chuckle as I write my Herbology essay. “Well, it almost is. I’m not allowed to stand up, someone watches my every move— when it’s not Madam Pomfrey, it’s Snape— and I’m forced into that torture every few hours.” He gestures toward the bottle of dittany on the bedside table. “I know it hurts, but you’ve made it quite clear you don’t want to have scars, so it’s necessary.” I nag him. “You sound like Madam Pomfrey.” He says, rolling his eyes. 

“Would you mind...?” He asks, his tone changing to a more serious one. I look up from my roll of parchment to see him. His expression had folded into a frown. “Would I mind what?” I furrow my eyebrows, looking at his face curiously. He swallows hard, “Would you mind, well, would you care, if I did have scars? Would you still want to be with me?” I shake my head smiling at him, at the stupidity of his question. “Draco Malfoy, why would something as stupid as a scar keep me from wanting to be with you? I don’t care if you’re unblemished or completely covered in scars. You’re beautiful to me either way and I shouldn’t have to tell you that. Don’t think for a second that that would change anything.” He gives me a weak smile, almost bashful. 

I’d never known Draco to be insecure or humble; he was always very arrogant and he knew how attractive he was. He often used it to get what he wanted. Maybe he just wanted to hear me say it aloud, but there was something hidden in his tone, in his face, that makes me think otherwise. In my mind, I want to believe that he doesn’t want scars so that it wouldn’t tarnish his beauty, but something is telling me that it’s not, though I can’t put my finger on what it truly is.

His face morphs back into the way it was before he had asked the question, as if he'd never asked. “Tomorrow, hopefully we’ll be able to do something a little more fun than me watching you do Herbology homework.” He says, a smirk playing at his lips. I fight back a chuckle by biting my lip. “Someone’s eager.” I say, raising my eyebrows at him. “You mustn’t overexert yourself, Mr. Malfoy.” I say, putting on my best impression of Madam Pomfrey. He laughs, rolling his eyes once more, but clutches at his stomach, wincing in pain. “Seriously though, Draco; take it easy.” I say, putting a hand on his shoulder. “I’m fine.” He says, continuing the argument we’ve been having for the past week and a half. He most certainly was not fine, anyone with eyes could see that.

Not only was he not physically fine, I could tell he wasn’t himself. No matter how much rest he got, the deep bags under his eyes never seemed to fade. His face was thinner as well and he seemed absent minded lately. He tries to cover it up by making me laugh, but I could still see beneath his smirk, his smile. I can see sadness within him, the pain. I knew him too well now not to notice. I want to help him, but I can barely help myself. I was still seeing that day, the blood, Draco on the floor, dying and there’s nothing that I can do to save him. In my nightmare, I can’t get closer than a few feet to him before an invisible barrier shuts me out, keeping me from him. I’ve woken up crying a few times, only waking up Hermione once.

“We’ll go to our place, on the seventh floor after dinner.” He says, changing the subject. “All right.” I say, causing a cheeky grin to appear on his face. “Then it’s a date.” He says, looking too pleased with himself. I smack his shoulder lightly and he pretends as if I hurt him. I kiss him quick on his lips, standing up, as it’s getting late. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” I say. “Until tomorrow, Creswell.” He says as the smirk returns to his face. I go to leave just in time because as I’m gathering my things, Madam Pomfrey comes out of her office to apply more dittany to Draco’s wounds, much to his dismay. He gives me a sort of fake pout as I walk out, waving slightly to him as I do.

As I approach the portrait, I see the figure of Harry, standing in front of the Fat Lady. “What do you mean, the password changed at midnight?” He asks, looking rather irritated at the woman in the painting. I was still angry at Harry, there way that I couldn't be. I tried to hold it back sometimes, telling myself that he didn't mean to do it, but it always seems to come back. “It means exactly what you think it means.” She replies, her lips pursed angrily. “What’s going on?” I ask, looking from Harry to the Fat Lady. “She won’t let me in. She’s said the password changed.” Harry huffs. I roll my eyes at the Fat Lady. “She’s just bitter that you woke her up, the password’s the same as it was before, isn’t it?” I ask, glaring at her intently. She lets out a sigh, waiting a moment before answering. “Fine.” She opens the door for us, calling out, “Make it quick.” We enter the common room, which is empty due to how late it is. I look over to Harry’s, whose expression has changed from irritated to impeccably serious. 

I’ve been trying to forgive him, but I can't bring myself to it. I never voice my angry or my disdain because it won’t do either of us any good if we’re arguing again I find myself constantly having to reassure myself that he didn't mean it, but of course he'd started the argument with Draco that led to it. He's apologized so many times and he's sounded so sincere, but it still hurts. As much as I love Harry, it still hurt me that he could do something like that. I don't know if I'll ever completely forgive him. I make myself swallow the feeling until it just goes away. 

“I got the memory, from Slughorn.” He says. My eyes go wide, staring at him in disbelief, “Liquid luck worked then? I could use a bottle of that stuff.” I reply. He half-chuckles as he nods. “I’ve just come from Dumbledore’s office. I saw it.” I feel a pang of nervousness in my chest. “Oh my God. What was it that he asked Slughorn?” I ask, the question has been gnawing at me since Harry told me about the memory that had been tampered with. “He told Voldemort about horcruxes.” He says, his face sobering. I furrow my eyebrows. “What in the bloody hell is a horcrux?” He lets out a long breath before answering. "You have to swear on your life that you won't tell anyone, Katherine. Do you understand?" I give him a nod. "Of course, I understand." I reply. "Not even Malfoy. Especially not Malfoy." He whispers. "I won't tell him; I don't talk to him about this kind of stuff." I feel irritated that he'd even infer that I would spill Voldemort's secrets to anyone. I would never. He sighs deeply. 

“It’s Dark Magic, really dark. It’s an object in which one hides a piece of their soul. They make you invincible. In order to make a horcrux, you must murder someone. Voldemort made six of them, splitting his soul into seven, according to Dumbledore, anyway. Riddle’s diary– it’s one of them– well it was. I destroyed it. Dumbledore destroyed another, a ring, it belonged to Voldemort’s grandfather.” He pauses, looking down at the floor. 

“I can’t kill him unless I find all of these horcruxes and destroy them.” He looked scared, worried. “There’s still more of them out there. I don’t think it’s going to be easy to destroy them. Once we find them, we have to figure a way to destroy them. I don't even know how. Riddle from the diary didn’t hesitate to try and kill me.” I shake my head, trying to wrap my head around it. “He’s invincible unless we find these, these, horcruxes, and destroy them. They could be anywhere, anything.” I say, thinking out loud. “I know.” Harry says, sighing.

I sit with him for a while in ominous silence, keeping him company. He carries the familiar look he wears when he becomes overwhelmed with information that he can’t seem to put together. “You know, Dumbledore said that if he found another, I could go with him to get it and destroy it.” He says finally. I let go of a breath I was holding in. I nod, not really knowing what to say to that. I know this was what he wanted, to be involved. It’s what I want as well, but this… I don’t want him to get hurt. I mean, if he’s with Dumbledore I’m sure he’ll be alright. I try to reassure myself. 

He decides that we should retire to bed, as I was practically fall asleep on his shoulder. “Kat, you’re drooling.” He says laughing. I grab at my chin, but there’s nothing there. “Am no.!” I say, hitting his arm. He chuckles as I stand up, yawning. He puts his arm around me, nearly knocking me over. “C’mon let’s go.” He says, his expression not matching his happy tone. We part at the top of the staircase, each going the opposite direction. Something in his eyes tells me that he won’t be sleeping tonight, despite the exhaustion in his face. I felt relieved as I left him, as if a weight was lifted off of me. I love Harry, I really do; he's my best friend, but I'm not just going to blindly forgive him. I try and I pretend to be okay with what he did to Draco, but it's eating me alive. I feel as if I can't forgive him, not yet.

My room is completely dark when I enter, Hermione lies sleeping soundly in her bed. I raise my wand and whisper, “Lumos.” The tip of my wand illuminates, lighting the way to my bed. I change into a tee shirt and shorts, lying under my covers, thinking about what Harry had told me. He was invincible and if we couldn’t find and destroy these horcruxes, we might never stop him. I close my eyes with that thought in my mind, spreading a chill of fear through my body.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hearing feedback gives me life; don't hesitate to comment and leave Kudos down below!
> 
> -Em:)


	20. Chapter Twenty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gives some insight into what's going on with Draco at this moment since his fight with Harry. It's been a hot minute since I've written his POV so I hope y'all like it.
> 
> Draco's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi,
> 
> This chapter contains a bit of fluff and a bit of angst, so it's an interesting one plus I like writing in Draco's POV
> 
> Enjoy the chapter:)
> 
> -Em

**Draco's POV**

 

“I want to help you, Draco.” The stern voice says. Professor Snape stands at my bedside with his arms folded. He had come to see me, having casted a spell called muffliato on Madam Pomfrey so that she didn’t hear our conversation. I wished that he would just go away. Whenever he’s near I can feel my mark prickle with pain. “I don’t want your help.” I say, keeping my eyes looking firmly in front of me. “Once again, I will tell you that I was chosen for this. It’s my duty to him.” I try to keep my voice steady as I think of what I must do, the pain and destruction that I must cause. 

“You may be a good liar, Draco, but I can see right through you. You’re scared, terrified. You’ve no idea what you’re doing, which was made obvious by the incidents with the Weasley boy and Ms. Bell. You attempt to conceal it, but it's obvious. You’re weak and your focus too far away from the mission. I cannot stress the utmost importance of this task and that you must complete it.” He sneers. “I’m not weak and my focus is solely on the task at hand. I’d be working on it right now if I weren’t where I am.” I snap back, lying to him. I’d be with Katherine, spending every moment possible with her, letting her know how much I care about her. I sit with my arms crossed on my chest, looking up at Snape. “Don’t lie to me. We both know you wouldn’t be doing any of this if you didn’t have to, if this life wasn’t chosen for you. Anyone with eyes can see that you’d rather your time elsewhere.” He hisses, his tone venomous with superiority and pity.

“Do you think I didn’t notice how Miss. Creswell came to your aid, how she held your hand as you bled, shed tears for you and comforted you? I could see the look in her eye plain as day, Draco. It was as pure as freshly fallen snow. She’s in love with you and you her. You’re like a lovesick puppy.” He states plainly, his hooked nose pointed towards me. I hold my breath at the sudden change in topic. My eyes dart to look into his black ones. “That got your attention, didn’t it?” He says, the cruel beginnings of smile play across his lips. My jaw clenches as my heartbeat begins to race. “Leave her out of this.” I say, my eyes piercing at him like daggers. “Touchy subject?” He asks, shaking his head. “She’s nothing to do with any of this.” I force the words out of my suddenly dry mouth. 

“On the contrary, Draco. She’s everything to do with this. As I’ve already told you, she’s your weakness. If the Dark Lord knew what you’d do for her, he’d have her in his grasp in a second. He’d use her as he’s using your parents against you. He won't hesitate. He’ll torture her in ways unimaginable. I expect she’ll end up as her father did, or worse.” He says, a sinister look upon his face. “Leave her alone.” 

By the look on his face I could tell her wasn’t going to drop the subject. “I suppose she doesn’t know where your loyalties lie. She’d run back to her precious Potter the moment she saw the mark on your arm.” I feel my blood boil as he speaks. My hands clenched into fist as I try to calm my breathing. “Your parents, well, they certainly wouldn’t approve of her, would they? A pureblood Malfoy, the sole family heir in love with a Creswell, a blood-traitor and member of the Order of the Phoenix.” He seems to be enjoying himself. He pauses for a moment, staring at me intently.  “Well, I see Auntie Bella _has_ taught you the art of occlumency.” He says. “Never let your guard down. If you do, even for a moment, he could penetrate your mind.” I glare at him. 

“Otherwise your precious little Gryffindor will be a shell of what she was; she’ll be nothing more than a corpse.” I feel my heart drop at the thought. I can practically see her lying on the ground, cold, unmoving and alone, her eyes glazed over with an empty look. I swallow hard, pushing it out of my brain. “Again, I say, let me help you. Not with your mission, but to protect you. I vowed to your mother that I would, of course she never knew of these circumstances. You won’t be able to keep her from him by yourself. You’re not strong enough. When the time comes, I can protect her, I can keep her from harm. I can put her into hiding, where he won’t find her, if she really does mean that much to you. She’ll be okay whether you’re with her or not.” He says, his voice still tense. “You would protect her?” I ask, not believing that Snape had a kind bone in his body. What I wanted to say, was, ‘of course she means that much to me. I wouldn’t risk myself if she didn’t. She’s worth the risk; she’s worth anything’, but I resist the urge, not wanting to sound weak, sound desperate. “If it comes down to her needing protection. I would be willing to offer her some.” He hesitates, “However, my official advice would be remove her from your life, at least for now. It’s become too dangerous to play games. He’ll find out.” 

Before I could muster anything to say, he was gone, leaving an uneasy feeling within me. I had no intention of breaking up with Katherine, none at all. She would be safer next to me, where I could protect her from any harm. Although, in my heart, I know that if she found out what I was to do, what I was then she would leave me. If I succeed, she would never speak to me again, never look my way without being reminded of who I was. She would never see me as more than the blemish on my left forearm. I never want her to see me that way; I love her too much, I don’t think I could bear it.

 

~~~~~~~~

 

I stand carefully, with my right shoulder against the wall, waiting for Katherine to arrive for our date. I'd skipped dinner to work on my task, trying desperately to get somewhere. I rub my eyes, letting out a long breath. I’m absolutely exhausted but, I’d much rather see her than sleep. I spent my nights in the hospital wing awake, thinking about the task that I should have been trying to complete. If I did sleep, I would relive that day, over and over. My body aches with every breath, reminding me of what had happened, as if I could ever forget what that prat Potter did to me. Katherine screaming over me, caked in my blood, trying desperately to help me as I struggled for breath. The whole thing feels as if it were a nightmare, but it was our unfortunate reality; I had the scars to prove it.

As I lean my head down to check my watch, I feel a careful kiss placed upon my jaw. “Hello stranger.” She says, running her cool fingers over my neck and shoulder blade. I wipe the solemn face off, replacing it with smirk as I turn around, checking to see if anyone was around before kissed her. “Nice to see you walking.” She says kindly, but there was a little humor in her voice as well. “It’s nice not to have Madam Pomfrey breathing down my neck.” I huff. She laughs, putting her hand on the back of my neck, running her fingers through my locks of white-blond hair, sending chills down my spine.

I grab Katherine’s hand in mine as the ornate door of the Room of Requirement appears, opening to accept us inside. It looked different from the last time I took her here; the was still lit entirely by candles, but there was no table. Instead, there was a large sofa, sitting in front of a hearth, burning brightly, warmly. A bed sits in the back of the room, against the wall. I could feel the warm energy as we entered, surrounding us. “This room will never fail to amaze me.” She says, her eyes filled with wonder. She puts her books down on the floor next to her before falling back to sit on the sofa, gesturing me over. I sit down next to her, wrapping my arms around her, pulling her close to me. She moves away slightly, placing a hand lightly on my abdomen. “I don’t want to hurt you.” She says, a worried look spread across face. She’s too kind, gentle. It’s one of the many things I love about her. I don't deserve her. “You won’t.” I say, trying fill the gap between us. “I’m okay.” I say, reassuring her. 

She bites her lip, playing with my hair with one hand, holding mine with the other. “I was so scared, Draco.” She says, tears beginning to well in her eyes. “I know, but I’m okay now. I’m here.” She shakes her head. “I thought you were going to die. I thought I’d lost you. I was just…” She trails off, looking away from me. I sit up, carefully moving her chin to face me. “Listen to me. I’m here; I’m not dead. You’re not going to lose me. I not going to leave you.” I whisper. She leans in and kisses me lightly. I wipe a tear from her cheek, pulling her into me gently. 

We worked together on homework for a little while, but before long, we got bored of it, or should I say that I did. I slam my Defence Against the Dark Arts book shut, throwing it to the other side of the sofa. “My brain hurts.” She says, finishing up the last of her definitions for Transfiguration. “I bet I can make you forget about it.” I say, a smirk smearing across my face. “Arrogant much, Malfoy?” She laughs, shutting her book. “You don’t know me by now?” I chuckle, pressing my lips against her passionately. As I kiss her, everything else falls away. Nothing but her on my mind, not a thought other than her. It was relieving, addicting. All I wanted was to pull her as close to me as I possibly could, absorbing every moment with her.

She parts with me only for a moment, to pull her jumper over her head to reveal her lace bra. “You’re beautiful.” I say, never being able to express how beautiful she actually was. She blushes, turning a shade of red, before kissing me hard. Her hands travel from my hair down to my chest, struggling to undo the buttons on my shirt. I fumble with them as well, trying to get it off as fast as possible. I shake it off of my arms as I grasp at her back, trying to feel every inch of her bare skin. She runs her fingers lightly across my stomach, tracing the wounds. I shiver at her touch, but don’t back away. I kiss her neck as she moans, causing me to smirk into her skin. 

I stop for a moment, trying to catch my breath. I run my hand through my hair, brushing it out of my eyes so that I could look at her. When I do, I see her eyes go wide and her breathing practically stop. She looked terrified, backing away from me. I go to take her hand in mine, but she pulls it away from me.“What is it, Love? Are you alright?” I ask, feeling my heartbeat louder in my chest. I wanted to know what was wrong. I look down at my abdomen to see the scars and bruising, thinking that’s why she was in shock, but when I look up, she was backing further away from me, a scared look in her eye that I’d never seen before. Her hand was cupped over her mouth as she scrambled on the floor for her shirt. That was when I realized why she was running from me. My arm shakes as I turn it over to reveal the black snake coming out of a skull’s mouth, moving ever so slightly on my arm. I cover it with my hand, ashamed as I feel a lump rise in my throat. I suddenly feel as if I’m unable to breathe. My whole body starts to shake as I try to approach her. “Katherine, please look at me.” I gulp, desperately trying to get her to see me. She shakes her head, staring down at the floor. “No, no...no.” She repeats, whispering it over and over again. 

With each time she says it, I feel my heart break more and more. “I-I told them you couldn’t be…” She trails off, her eyes looking frantically around the floor. “I told them it was impossible…” Her breathing picks up as she begins to hyperventilate. "I defended you, Draco." She clings to her jumper, holding it close to her chest. “Katherine, please.” I say once more, hoping that she’d listen to me. I move closer to her, placing a hand on her shoulder. “Don’t touch me.” She says, backing away with a start, shivering. I felt my heart burst at that moment, hearing her say those words. "Please." I say, shaking my head.

“I didn’t want this.” I say, holding up the mark that’s burning greatly on my skin. “I don’t want to be this.” I feel tears stream down my cheek as I try to desperately explain myself, but there's nothing I can say to make it better. She says nothing, but her silence says as much as words ever could. I bring myself to speak. “He’ll kill me. He’ll kill my mum.” I whisper, swallowing nothing but air, as my throat was so dry that I almost choked. "I told Harry that you weren't... that you didn't." She musters, stuttering at her words. “I don’t want this, any of it.” I pause, looking at her. She sits with her knees to her chest, unmoving. “I just want you. I want a life with you. I want to run away, like we talked about.” She shakes her head, looking down at her feet. “I can’t do this, Draco.” She says, then repeats it again. “I can’t. Not anymore. You’re one of them, a Death Eater, a follower. They killed my dad, Draco. Your aunt killed my father.” She lets out a staggered breath and takes a slow inward one.

“I thought you were different. I thought you were good.” It feels as if she shot an arrow through my chest, as if Potter had hit me with that same curse. “I am different. I love you and I always will,” I hold up my left arm shakily, displaying the blemish which I’m so ashamed of. “This isn’t me. It’s not what I want. It’s what was chosen for me. I don’t want this. You’re the only thing I want.” I try to touch her cheek, but she stands up, pulling her jumper over her head. "Don't touch me, Malfoy." She sneers my last name at me in anger, in pain. She grabs her bag, trying to walk away from me as I grab her wrist. “I love you and you know that. This… it’s just something that is. I don’t want it there. It doesn’t change anything. I’m still the same person I was.” I plead with her. Her eyes settle on mine, tears welling in them. "Please don't leave me." I whisper, my last word almost silent, "Please." She shakes her head as tears roll down her cheeks. “I can’t, Draco. I just can’t.” She whispers, pulling her arm away from me. As the door closes behind her, I feel as if someone had ripped my heart out of my chest. I sink down to the floor, I bury my head in my hands, thinking about how I lost her; I lost the person I love more than anything, leaving me with nothing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this doesn't exactly end on a happy note, but it shows that Katherine's blindness to Draco is starting to clear and she's starting to see what's really happening with him, making everything a bit more complicated.
> 
> As always, remember to leave Kudos and comments below as I love reading and replying to them!
> 
> -Em


	21. Chapter Twenty-One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three and a half weeks after that night in the Room of Requirement, Katherine still feels lost, still feels betrayed by Draco, finding herself unable to look at him, barely able to function within the same room as him and it's breaking her heart. As much as she tries to hate him, she finds herself unable to.
> 
> Katherine's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter took a lot of thinking and really made me think about Katherine as a character
> 
> I don't want to spoil anything, so I'm just gonna leave this here
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> -Em

“What’s been bothering you, Katherine? I can tell something’s off.” Harry’s voice draws me out of my head. I look from my plate, where I had been playing with my food. “Hm?” I say, shaking my head as I realize what he’s saying. “Oh...um, I’m fine.” I say, returning to my plate. “No you’re not. You’ve been sulking for weeks now.” Ron says bluntly, as per usual, as he takes a mouthful of egg salad sandwich. I say nothing, only taking a gulp of pumpkin juice. They’ve been trying to get it out of me since that night, but I never gave in, never told them. I didn’t know how to. 

“Ron’s right. What is it? Spit it out.” I sigh. “It’s nothing. I’m just tired.” I shrug. “You’re not a very good liar, you know.” Harry says pointedly. I feel his eyes on me, staring. “Is it Malfoy?” I feel my heart stop at the mention of his name. I fight the impulse to clench my jaw. I can feel the beginnings of tears in my eyes as I stare down hopelessly at my plate. “I’ll kick his teeth in if he did anything to hurt you. I won’t hesitate to jinx him right now.” I say nothing, neither confirming or denying what Harry was saying. I look up at him, keeping a straight face as I answer. “I told you; I’m fine. Please, drop it.”

Harry sighs, still staring at me, but he stops talking about it. My eyes trail to the Slytherin table, where I see the dreary-faced Draco Malfoy staring blankly at me. He looked worse than I had ever seen him, almost as if he were ill. His cheeks were sunken in and his skin lacked all color. His grey eyes had never seemed so dull; they lacked the sparkle within them. I can feel my hands begin to shake as I remember that night in the Room of Requirement. It hasn’t gotten any easier to see him since that night. I get an uneasy feeling everytime he walks in the room. I get scared every time he looks at me. I take a deep breath in, fighting the urge to cry. I press my fingernails into my palm, piercing the skin once more. I feel the blood trickle down my fingers as I release it. I reach to grab a napkin, wrapping around my hand under the table so that no one saw. 

I immediately look away from him as my eye catches his. He almost looked hopeful for a moment, but it faded as quickly as it came. I couldn’t look at him without being reminded of what he is: a Death Eater. He was one of them. My Draco, no, not  _ my _ Draco, was a Death Eater. Harry was right, all this time and I wouldn’t believe it. I denied any possibility. I bit my lip, thinking about his mark, slithering up his left forearm in that wicked way. I should have known; I should have seen it. He is a Malfoy after all. His aunt murdered my father, his father locked up in Azkaban. I should have expected it. I didn’t want to believe it; he was so gentle, so kind to me. I loved him too much to see it. I was blinded.

I walk slowly to class, dreading seeing him again. I don’t even listen to what Harry, Ron and Hermione are talking about; I’m too focused on him. As we enter, I sit in my usual seat next to Ron, looking down at my fidgeting fingers. I tense up as I feel a figure sit down next to me. He runs his hand through his hair before crossing his arms at his chest. “I need to talk to you.” He whispers, his voice laced with desperation. I look to Ron, but he’s too focused on finishing his charms homework that’s due next lesson to notice.  “What if I said I don’t want to talk to you.” I whisper, my eyes firmly remaining on the desk in front of me. He goes to touch my arm, but I pull away from him. “Draco, please, just leave me alone.” I say coldly, breaking my own heart in doing so. I’ve been begging this of him for weeks now, but every day he sits down, asking to speak to me. He won’t leave me be; he can’t see that he broke my heart. “ _ Please _ .” He says, his voice practically begging. I bite my lip, not being able to resist him. My heart pounds in my chest, trying to tell me that is a bad idea. He is a Death Eater, but I do know him, or at least, I thought I did. “Fine.” I breath out, hating myself for it. “Meet me in the broom cupboard after the lesson.” I sigh, still not able to bring myself to look at him. 

It’s this point in time where Ron sees me. “Oi! Stop lying to us. Tell me what’s bothering you.” He says it loud enough that Draco hears him, causing him to look over at him. “It’s nothing, Ron. Please, just let it go.” He wraps his arms around me tightly, protecting me as if he were my brother. He’s as good as. He whispers in my ear so softly that I almost don’t hear him. “If it’s him, I’ll kill him. Just give me the word.” I give him a weak smile and a half-chuckle. “I’m okay. I promise. No need for murder.” He furrowed his eyebrows, not really believing me, but says with a sigh, “All right then.” He puts his arm around me, giving me a squeeze before returning to his homework as Professor Binns walks in the room. 

I focus on one breath at a time, trying to calm my nerves, which were pulsating throughout my body. I was almost frightened to talk to him, petrified. Feeling him sitting next to me is just making me more anxious than I already am. It felt strange feeling this way around him; I found solace in his presence before, but now, knowing what I know, I can’t help but feel the way I do. I didn’t tell anyone; I didn’t want to give Harry the satisfaction of knowing that he was right about him. I couldn’t even bring myself to tell Hermione; I just wallowed. Even now, I couldn’t betray Draco like that; as much as I wanted not to, I still cared about him. As much as I wanted to hate him, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. Instead, I became afraid, afraid of the love that just won’t go away.

 

~~~~~~~~

 

“I’ll meet you guys in charms, I have to take care of something first.” I mumble as they leave me in the corridor reluctantly. I let out a sigh, checking both sides before I enter the broom cupboard. Draco was standing with his back against the wall with his eyebrows furrowed; he looked nervous. “What do you want, Malfoy?” I say, using his last name intentionally, creating a rift between us. He takes a breath, loosening his tie. “I need you to listen to me. I need you to understand–.” I cut him off, speaking fast. “Understand what, Draco? Understand that all this time, I was with you, kissing you, falling in love with you and you hid this part of yourself from me, knowing perfectly well that I wouldn’t be okay with it. This is just a cruel game to you, isn’t it?” I feel tears rolling quickly down my cheek. “Are you just using me? I need to know.”

He shakes his head, his lip quivering. He struggles to find words. “I’m so sorry Katherine. I didn’t, I couldn’t, I didn’t know how to tell you. I didn’t want to lose you, but I’ve already done that. I’m not playing any sort of game with you; I would never hurt you. I  _ do  _ love you; with all my heart actually. I wouldn’t use you like that, even if they tried to kill me. I care about you too much.” He forces each word out of his mouth with great difficulty. “But, you did hurt me, Draco. You don’t know how it feels to have everything you thought you knew about the person you loved most, ripped away from you. When I saw that on your arm, it broke my heart. It shattered everything I knew about you. You’re like a stranger to me now.” I wipe my eyes, forcing myself to look at him again. 

“I’m the same person I’ve always been.” He whispers. “Please understand what I’m trying to say.” His hands wave in the air as he speaks, making him look as if he was mad. “I hate myself for loving you, for still loving you, even after all of this.” I say, trying not to hear what he’s saying. “Listen to me! This wasn’t my choice! I never wanted to be this! Do you think I wanted to be branded? Did you think I wanted to be thrown into this war head first? This was chosen for me before I was even born. You said it yourself! My whole life has been decided for me by someone else. I tried to resist him, I really did, but he had my mother. He told me he would use the cruciatus curse on her while I watched as she was tortured. I couldn’t do that to her; she loves me more than anything. He told me he would kill me, torture me and enjoy doing it. I never wanted this. It was forced upon me. Please, I love you so much.” He says, a single desperate tear dripping down his face. 

My heart ached for him; I wanted to help him, but at the same time, I wanted to leave and never speak to him again. “I would rather die than join him.” I say plainly, my eyes unblinking. “I would’ve given up my own life,” He says, shaking his head, “But my mother’s, that’s not mine to give away. That woman has given me everything good I’ve ever had, besides you. Anything good about me came from her. I think, that if the circumstances were different, if we weren’t at war, she’d quite like you. You’re kind, funny and beautiful. You make me happy and that’s all that would matter to her.” He says softly. I bite my lip hard, wanting to just fall into his arms. He was still kind, protective. It drew me to him, making me want to fill gap between us. “You’re the only thing I ever wanted. I need you. I know it’s selfish. I know it’s dangerous. I love you and that’s never going to change. I’m still the same person I was; you have to believe that.  _ Please _ .” He approached me slowly, hesitating before touching my hand. I don’t engage, but I don’t shy away. “I can’t do this.” I say, breathing hard, trying to shut him out. I go to move towards the door, but he squeezes my hand lightly. “I need to know something and you need to tell me the truth.” I whisper, looking at the door. “Anything.” He replied almost too quickly. I hesitate, the words on my tongue. “Have you ever killed anyone?” I say, my voice almost nonexistent. He swallows hard, “No.” He whispered back, looking at the floor. I breathe out a sigh of relief.

“You deserve so much more than me, than anything I could possibly give you. You’re probably better off with Potter than you are with me. All I can tell you is that I love you and I’ll protect you till the end of the Earth. I understand if you hate me; if you never want to speak to me again, but I needed to tell you that.” His fingers brush up against my cheek, sending pulses to my heart. I feel as if I can't move, can't speak. “This, this is just a thing.” He says, holding up his left arm, the mark covered by his robes. My eyes look deeply into his, trying to resist them, but it was a losing battle. My heart was winning over my mind, drawing me towards him, breaking me down. I should just leave, walk out right now and be done with it. Instead, I open my big mouth, “I could never hate you, Draco. As much as I wish I could, it’s impossible. I love you so much it’s infuriating.” I say, shaking my head. 

“It’s too hard. It’s all just too hard.” I look down, wiping my eyes as tears flow out of them. Draco’s finger guides my chin up gently, so that I’m forced to look at him. “Nothing’s changed. I’m still the same person you fell in love with. I still love you the same. Please don’t leave me.” He says, his eyes pleading with me. “This will inevitably end in a disaster.” I say, the rational part of me trying to overpower the hopeless romantic within. “I don’t want to get hurt again.” My brain tries to tell me that this was dangerous, that he was dangerous, but my heart isn’t listening. It only hears what he’s saying, the forlorn tone in his voice. “I won’t hurt you. Don’t bail on us, not yet. I know it’ll be hard. I know it seems impossible. I’ll protect you, I promise.” His voice sounds almost like music. 

He guides my chin close to him, pressing his lips gently against my lips. I found comfort in them, allowing myself to break down the wall I established between us. I don't kiss him back, feeling unable to, but I stand there, allowing it to happen, allowing myself to fall back in. I gave in, gave up resisting. I couldn’t stay away from him; it seemed more impossible than leaving. I know I'm probably making the wrong choice by giving in, but I loved him too much to leave. He wraps himself around me, allowing me to take in his scent. I weep into his chest, releasing strangled breaths with each sob. “Shhh.” He says, trying to comfort me. His kisses the top of my head gently. I knew it was a bad idea, staying with him, but I couldn’t leave. I wasn’t strong enough to just give up, bail out, as much as I wanted to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Katherine's retreat back to Draco was extremely controversial in my own mind. She's got a lot going on in her life and this is just another desperate attempt by her to try and preserve her happiness. Even though she now knows what Draco is, she's still somewhat blind. I would say she's naive, but only naive about him.
> 
> Let me know what you think! I love hearing feedback so don't hesitate to comment below or leave Kudos!
> 
> -Em


	22. Chapter Twenty-Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katherine struggles to accept Draco as a Death Eater, but goes back to him anyway. She's still trying to work out how to forgive him for the mark on his arm.
> 
> Katherine's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess you could call this kind of a filler chapter because we really get back into it all towards next chapter
> 
> I just wanted to add something nice since everything's been so sad, but this isn't even the happiest of chapters.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> -Em

"Does it hurt?" I ask him, furrowing my eyebrows at the horrible mark on his skin. I gesture towards it slightly, trying not to contort my face as I look at it. I lie next to him on the large, ornate, four-poster bed that resides in the Room of Requirement. It was Sunday, we weren't expected to be anywhere, leaving us to spend all the time we can with each other. His arm is around me, holding me close to him. His shirt was off, revealing the fading bruises on abdomen and the scar that will never fade on his left forearm. My hand rests on his chest, rising and falling with his breath. "It prickles, burns a bit. It feels as if there's a small fire beneath my skin, leaving a permanent sear." He says. "I try to ignore it altogether. I don't like looking at it; it just reminds me. It makes me sick. It just reminds me of what I am." I reach over to his cheek, moving his head to face me. "That mark isn't you, Draco. I know who you are and it's not that." I say softly.

I was trying to get used to seeing it, but even Draco admits, it's not something you ever get used to. It's a sinister thing that creates a pit in your stomach every time you look at it. There's so much evil within it, so much suffering. It was an ominous presence, as if Voldemort was here with us. He told me that if it made me uncomfortable, he'd cover it for me. I told him that there was no need, that I wasn't afraid of what it meant, that I wasn't afraid of him. I couldn't tell him that every time I looked at it, I saw the fate that my father met at the hands of Bellatrix Lestrange. Accepting that it was on his skin was still a work in progress for me. I knew in my heart that it was a part of him forever, whether he wanted it there or not and that I was just going to have to come to terms with its position in our lives.

I trace circles on his chest with my finger, causing him to shiver. "I don't want to end up like my father." He says, grimacing at the thought. "You're not going to go to Azkaban. Dumbledore will protect you when it comes down to it. I'll protect you; I'll testify if I have to." I reply. He shakes his head. "It's not that I'm worried about." He pauses, sighing. "I don't want to end up like him. I don't want to be a coward. My family is full of them. I don't want to be cold or distant. I don't want to be feared. My mother said he wasn't always that way, that it was circumstance that made him the way he is." He says, looking genuinely worried. I lick my lip, preparing to speak. "You're different from him. Your father is cruel, where you're good, kind. You're certainly not a coward; you're very brave, in fact. Most people would crack up after going through what you've been through. Even though you can be a absolute prick sometimes, you're certainly not him." I stroke his hair, smiling warmly at him. "So I'm a prick?" He says, forcing out a laugh. "Don't pretend that you don't know it." I say, chuckling.

"To add onto it, I don't think he'd ever date or go near anyone like me. My parents were both aurors and fought against yours in the First Wizarding War. I'm a Gryffindor, who's best friends with Harry Potter, a Weasley and Muggle-born. My family are blood-traitors, there's no denying that. You love me anyway, knowing full well that your father wouldn't approve of me, of our relationship. You're not your father and you're no Death Eater, Draco." He smiled, leaning over to place a gentle kiss on my lips. I intertwine our fingers together, careful not to touch the mark. It terrified me to my very core.

He gets up, causing me to get goosebumps as he stands, leaving the bed cold. "Where are you going?" I ask, sitting up, pulling down the sleeves on my jumper. He rummages through his bag, looking for something. "I'm coming right back; I just have to get something." He says, his eyes fixed on his rucksack. He reaches all the way to the bottom before pulling out a small box. He climbs back into bed, pulling the covers over us. He holds it out to me; it's neatly wrapped with a bow tied at the top. "It's nothing special, but..." His voice trails off as I take hold of the box, wondering what it could be. I raise my eyebrow at it, looking from it, to Draco, before untying the red bow. I open up the box to reveal a necklace, a white gold pendant, decorated beautifully with diamonds and elaborate designs etched into the gold. A single emerald was placed perfectly at the center.

I smiled widely, throwing my arms around Draco, almost knocking him over. "Thank you, Draco. I love it. You didn't have to do this for me." I say, shaking my head. "It must have cost a fortune." He puts a finger to my lips, "It's a family heirloom. It belonged to my mother; my father gave it to her as a wedding gift. She wore it every day until the day he was sentenced to Azkaban. She then gave it to me, as a token, a reminder of what once was. I wanted you to have it." He says. "It's beautiful." I say, taking in every detail of the locket. I move my hair to the side and hand the necklace to Draco so that he could put it on me. He lets go of the chain as he fastens it, letting the cool metal touch my skin.

He smiles. "It looks perfect on you." I feel myself blush, putting a strand of hair behind my ear. "What did I ever do to deserve you, Draco Malfoy?" I ask, placing a hand on his cheek. He shakes his head. "I should be asking you the same thing." He says, smiling. "You're so good to me." I say, bringing my hand up to my neck to touch the pendant. He shakes his head again, looking down at his lap. "You're better. You accepted the fact that I'm a prick." He says laughing, pausing before continuing. "You're trying to accept me for who I was forced to become. You accepted me for this," He holds up his arm, revealing the horrid mark on his pale skin. It looked unnatural, evil. I give him a small smile, reassuring him that I was okay with it, or at the least that I was trying to be. I don't know if I'll ever be okay with it, but I'd try, for him. "You're too good for me, Katherine." I place a soft kiss on his lips, smiling into it.

"Before I forget," He says, reaching into the pocket of his slacks. "Here you go." He puts a galleon into my hand, smiling. I furrow my eyebrows, trying to give the money back to him. "What are you paying me for?" I ask, almost a bit offended. "Take it back; I don't need it." He laughs, his face settling into a satisfied smile. "It's not money." He says as I study the coin. I turn it on its edge, looking closely at it. It looks strikingly like a real galleon. It hits me then, the memory of the coins surging through my brain. "Is this– is this one of Hermione's coins? From last year?" I ask, turning the galleon over and over in my hand. "It's not Granger's, but it's one like it. I stole the idea from her actually. I thought it could be useful for us." He pulls out an identical coin, holding it up to show me. Mine heats up, letting me know that Draco had changed the message on his galleon. I turn mine on its side to see a small message, it reads nothing more than a simple ' _I love you_ '. I smile. "I figured we could communicate with it. It might be easier that way. Just hold the coin tight and think about what you want to say and it will appear on mine." He says, giving a weak smile. I hold mine tight, thinking about what I wanted to say to Draco. He laughs as he receives it, the message reading 'brilliant'. "Exactly." He says. "It's seriously brilliant, Draco." I slip the coin into my jeans pocket for safe keeping. "Always the tone of surprise, are we?" He asks, laughing while wiggling his eyebrows. I roll my eyes. "You can hardly trust that an owl won't get intercepted these days. This just seemed like the safest option." He says, shrugging as if it were nothing.

I lean over and kiss him quick, but as I go to break apart, he pulls me in closer. His hands find my waist, fitting perfectly on each side. I move to straddle his legs, careful not to break the kiss. My hand finds the back of his neck, running my fingers through his untamed hair. My other hand is trying to pull off my jumper, but failing. Draco breaks apart from me, helping to pull it over my head, revealing my black lace bra. "You're not going to run off this time, are you?" He asks. I lean over, bringing my mouth as close to his ear as possible, saying, "I'm not going anywhere, Draco. I'm here." I linger for a moment, backing up from his face slowly. I shake my hair, trying to bring down the static as he laughs and simply moves it to the side, kissing my neck.

I bring him to move back to my lips, wrapping my arms around his neck. He kisses me deeply, so deeply in fact that I bite his lip, not particularly hard, but not gently. I wasn't really thinking; it just sort of happened. He pulls away from me, his eyes filled with disbelief. "Did you just bite me, Creswell?" He says, holding out his lip, keeping his smirk on his face at the same time. "Oops." I say with a shrug, smiling, biting my bottom lip. "Oops?" He repeats, laughing, as he moves toward me. "What do you want me to say?" I ask, a grin plastered on my face. He raises his eyebrows, "Sorry, maybe?" I laugh, tracing a finger over his chest lazily. "What if I said I wasn't sorry?" I smirk, biting my bottom lip, looking up into his eyes. "Then I'd say that Katherine Creswell has a touch of Slytherin within her." He says. "That's not true." I say, almost regretting it. "Would that be such a bad thing?" His smile wipes into a melancholy frown. I shake my head. "Of course not." I say, hesitating, my smile returning as my hand caresses his collarbone. We're quiet for a moment before he smirks again, changing the subject. "I cannot believe you just bit me." He says, shaking his head. He kisses my neck gently as I laugh at him. "You think it's funny, don't you?" I shrug again, wrapping my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist. "Quite." I reply, giggling a bit. "It hurt!" He says, furrowing his eyebrows, sticking out his lip into a fake pout. "I could make it up to you, if you'd like." I whisper softly into his ear, trailing kisses along his jawline. Simultaneously, I ran my hand over his stomach, letting my fingers explore his muscles. He smirks, pulling me closer to him.

"I'd like that." He whispers hotly into my ear, nibbling at the lobe a bit. He suckled hard on the soft spot under my ear, causing me to let out an involuntary moan. I could feel Draco smirk into my skin as he continued, circling around the spot, driving me crazy. "Dra-a-co." I say. He unlatches himself from my neck, giving me a devilish grin. "Yes, love." He says innocently, making me smack his cheek lightly. "You're not a virgin, are you, Mr. Slytherin Sex God?" I ask sarcastically. "Let's not go over this right now." He says, laughing as he puts his cool hands on my bare waist. "Afraid I won't like the answer?" I ask, brushing a lock of blond hair out of his eyes. "Seriously, let's not." He says, going back to try and kiss my collarbone, working his way closer to my bra, whose straps he had pulled down. "Later then." I roll my eyes, guiding his head up to mine with a single finger. "Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?" I say, placing a hard and long kiss on his lips, sucking on his bottom lip. I push him back against the head board, straddling myself as close to him as possible. I could feel him already through the fabric of his slacks and my jeans. I smiled as I move to the nape of his neck, starting there before peppering his chest with kisses, moving downward with each one. 

I knew that I wanted him; there was not a doubt in my mind about that. I'd never felt about anyone the way I'd felt about him. I loved him so much; although it was awkward, it felt easy, natural, to be with him. It was that moment that I realized that I didn't really care what anyone else thought about us, not even Harry. Draco was just Draco and I was just me, nothing more, nothing less.

~~~~~~~~~

When we finished, I lie on my side facing him, our foreheads practically touching as we gain our breath. Our fingers are laced together, filling the gap between us. I study his grey eyes, looking at the flecks of silver and blue that reside within them. There was so much more than grey there, so many beautiful colors that make up the one that everyone sees. They sparkled in the candlelight of the room, looking directly into mine. He twirls one of my dark curls around his finger over and over again, seemingly mesmerized by it. He was so beautiful, so handsome, almost like a sculpture.

"So, back to my earlier question," I start to which Draco sighs. "You weren't a virgin, were you?" I ask. He lets go of the curl he had wrapped around his finger, moving his eyes up to look at me. "Why are you so insistent on this?" He says, shaking his head. "Draco, who is it?" I ask, pushing on. I think that I already know who, but I want to hear it from his lips. "Pansy." He says, running his thumb across my bottom lip. He looked as if he were bracing himself for an angry reaction. "I'm not mad." I say chuckling. "You're not? But you hate Pansy." As much as I was disgusted at the thought of that pug and Draco together, I had to bring myself to terms with the facts of that time. Coming to terms with Pansy is a hell of a lot easier than accepting that mark on his arm and what it meant. "Yeah, I do, but how could I be mad if I didn't even really know you then. How was I supposed to know that I'd end up here, lying next to you, Draco Malfoy? I am a little disgusted, but I can't really help that." I reply, laughing a bit to lighten the mood. There was always the rumor that Pansy and Draco had something between them, but hearing it from the source was proof of it happening. "If it makes you feel any better, she doesn't hold a candle to you. She was an awful shag actually and even worse at being a girlfriend. That's why things were simply physical between us and nothing more." He assures me, brushing a finger against my cheek as I gave him a smile.

Silence filled the room; it shouldn't have been ominous, but of course, it was. I allowed my thoughts to consume me, overwhelm me. "I don't want this war to break us apart." I say meekly, breaking the beautiful silence. I had been trying to think of how we could be together, how we could stay together during all of this. The nagging thought in the back of my mind was telling me that it could never work, we could never work in this world, outside of Hogwarts, although I didn't want to believe it. "I won't let it." He says, trying to reassure me. "How can you be so sure that it won't? It's not like we have so many people rooting for us." I say, my mind panicking. "Because we love each other." He says simply, tracing his fingers up and down my spine. "But how will you know that that will be enough?" I ask, not really expecting an answer. He ponders on it for a moment before speaking again. "I don't." He pauses. I feel my heart sink a bit. "And neither do you." His hand caresses my cheek. "Our future is uncertain, but you just have to trust that we'll always find our way back to each other in the end." I nod, giving him a weak smile. It wasn't really the answer I wanted, but I knew that it was the truth: we don't know.

He presses our foreheads together, looking directly into my eyes. "Hey," He says, "We'll be okay." I give him a smile and a peck on the lips, trying to convince him that I believed him. I wanted to, I wanted to more than anything believe that we were going to be okay, but same thoughts keeps reappearing in my mind. I can't stop thinking that there are going to be more casualties in the war, my father being one among many already lost. There were disappearances and murders daily, littering  _The Daily Prophet_ 's reports with blood. Not only could our relationship be one of them, but our lives could be. Its extremely possible that one or both of us might not make it out of this alive. It seemed near impossible to me that we would get out of this war alive, let alone okay. If we were actually able to destroy Voldemort's horcruxes and kill him and I came out of the war on the winning side, Draco would be on the other side of it, whether he wanted to be or not. I don't know where that would leave him and it scares me to think about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Katherine is still very blind to Draco and his task, even after finding out what he is. I think that she chooses not to see him, see his flaws.
> 
> Next chapter will be up very soon
> 
> Sidenote: I've been working on an idea for a dramione fic if anyone's interested it'll be up soon
> 
> I love reading and replying to feedback so don't forget to leave kudos and comments down below!
> 
> -Em:)


	23. Chapter Twenty-Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm just gonna let the chapter speak for itself because I'm so bad at summaries
> 
> Katherine's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so here we go
> 
> Mostly a filler, but shows how Katherine is feeling and how her relationship with Harry isn't what it was before he knew about her and Draco.
> 
> Enjoy:)
> 
> -Em

“What is that around your neck?” Harry says, looking curiously at the necklace that Draco had given me three weeks ago. I haven’t taken it off since he gave it to me. At first, I thought he was talking about the purple splotches that littered my skin where my hair laid, but when I looked down at him, his eyes were fixed on the pendant. His head sits in my lap, his feet dangling carelessly over the edge of the couch. His glasses are pushed all the way to his face, giving his eyes a rather oddly large appearance. We sit in the common room, surrounded by stressed out fifth years studying for their OWLs, including Ginny. We’ve come to find their panic amusing, though last year we went through the same struggle. They all talk, panicking with one another. “I’ve been wearing this for weeks and you notice now?” I say, rolling my eyes. “Sorry I don’t keep tabs on your jewelry, Katherine.” He says sarcastically. He reaches up, taking the pendant in his hand, studying it, running his finger over the emerald, whose color was strikingly similar to that of his eyes.

“Where’d you get this?” He asks, his eyebrows knitting together. I think about lying, or simply denying his request for an answer, but I decide the truth is the best option, even if it might hurt him. “Draco gave it to me.” I whisper, so that no one else could hear me. Harry immediately drops the pendant back as if were cursed, so that it once again hangs from my neck before rolling his eyes. “Draco.” He scoffs to himself. “Of course he did.” he quips, placing his head back into my lap. “That snake needs to slither back into his hole.” He mutters under his breath. He’s crossed his arms, a mirthless look on his face as he blew a lock of hair out of his eye. He looked like a pouting ten year-old. 

I flick him lightly in the nose, an unamused look on my face. “I’m allowed not to like him.” He snaps, swatting my hand away. “I never said you weren’t, but you were being spiteful.” He mimics my flick as I finish speaking, giving me the same look that I gave him. “He’s an insufferable prick. I don’t know how you bare him, honestly.” I let the comment pass without me retorting anything other than, “Please Harry, I know it’s hard for you.” He makes a disregarding noise followed by another roll of his eyes. “You’ve no idea how difficult this is for me,” He sits up, his hair strewn about. His voice hushes into a angry whisper, “Every time that I see you with him or see you even look at him it feels like my heart’s been ripped out of my chest. It’s not just hard; it painful. As much as it hurts me knowing that we’ll never be anything more than platonic, I’ve accepted it, forced myself to be okay with it, but when I see him with you, it just reminds me that I’m not; that I never will be. I know how happy he makes you and I’m not going to try to break you up as much as I’d rather you not be with him, but I can’t help to think that I could have been the one to make you feel that way, feel that happy, not Draco Malfoy.” He lets himself collapse back onto the couch, saying nothing further on the subject although the awkward silence remains. 

What Harry doesn't say, but his eyes say, is that I'm fraternizing with the enemy, that I'm betraying him by being with Draco. I know that he knows more about everything that's going on than he lets on to me. I'm sure Ron and Hermione know something that I don't. Harry doesn't trust me not to tell Draco certain things, but I've never once told him anything Harry's told me. I would never betray him, not like that. It hurt that he would that I would.

I try to push the conversation out of my mind, focusing on something more light-hearted. I begin to braid his unruly black hair, causing his demeanor to change. “What are you doing?” He says, touching the top of his head. “Oh, nothing.” I reply nonchalantly, not stopping. “Stop braiding my bloody hair! It’s not fourth year anymore!” He says, shaking the braid out. In fourth year, Harry’s hair was incessantly long, prompting me to play with it all of the time, trying out different braids on him. He never thought it was quite as funny as everyone else did, but he let me do it anyway. “C’mon Harry, for old times sake!” I plead, sticking my bottom lip out. He sighs, giving in, knowing its a losing battle to argue me on this. We had bigger battles to fight. 

We sat there like that, talking about anything but the war, trying to keep things on a positive note. We both knew we running out of peaceful days, darkness was looming in the air, surrounding the castle, surrounding the world. It was only a matter of time before the Ministry fell, whether that was days, weeks, or months, I didn’t know. Scrimgeour was losing popularity by the day and the people were becoming more and more scared. Muggle-borns and their families were going into hiding, knowing full well that they would be mercilessly killed if they stayed in the public eye. The Death Eater ranks were growing at an alarming rate, giving a rather large and powerful army to Voldemort. The castle’s walls couldn’t hold back his influence for much longer, even if Dumbledore is here, but he was barely in the Great Hall at mealtimes, making us feel even more defenseless, like sitting ducks. Of course, Hogwarts wouldn’t go down without a fight, Harry knew that and so did I. 

Draco knew it too, as much he didn’t want to admit it, he could tell. He seemed even more removed than he has all of this year, which is saying something. He’s been disappearing again lately, going away for hours at a time after classes and during mealtimes. He looks as if he hasn’t been sleeping again, as if all the sleep he got whilst in the hospital wing all that while ago had drained out of him, leaving him hollow and unresponsive. He's been distant toward me, toward everyone. His appearance looked like that of an inferius, lacking the color in his face that he just recently gained back. Sometimes, when I’m with him alone, he’ll wince slightly in pain at the mark on his arm burning, though he tries to hide it from me. He doesn’t want me to worry, but I feel as if he’s being used, being called.

The other day, I was in the Owlery, sending a letter to my mother, assuring her that I was indeed okay, well and most importantly, alive, when I saw Draco there, not only sending out a letter, but receiving one. It had come from a dark-feathered bird, standing properly on its talons, as if it was taught manners. I hid behind the wall, watching him intently as he opened it. I would have approached him if hadn’t look so sullen. Upon reading the letter, he crumpled it up, lighting it on fire, destroying it. He pulled hard on his hair, trying to get out his frustrations. He must cast a silencing charm because I didn’t hear the screams and cries I knew were coming out of him. He kicked the wall hard, cursing to himself as he let out a strangled gasp. Before leaving the area deserted other than a few owls, which had startled when he kicked the wall, he composed himself the best he could, calming his breath to that of a normal person. I didn’t know who the letter was from or what it had said, but I knew that in some way, shape, or form, it involved Voldemort. 

I’m worried about him, worried that he’s going to get hurt. He didn’t want any of this; he was just as scared as the rest of us. He’s just a boy, thrown at full-force into our parents’ war, forced onto the side that his father chose for him before he was born. He was branded with the mark that would never leave his body no matter what he did, securing his fate, making it that he could never truly leave them behind. Every time he looked at it, he turned a slightly paler shade and get a queasy look on his face. Looking at something like that is not something you get used to. It never gets any easier. He didn’t really ever want to talk about it and I can understand why; it isn't exactly an easy thing to discuss. I didn’t want to force him to talk about anything, after all, he doesn’t force me to talk about parents.

I ached make his pain go away, to make the guilt and the shame disappear from him. It plagued him. I knew he was scared, even though he wouldn’t admit it. He was always on edge, as if someone, or something, was going to come and murder us at any given moment. I tried my best to comfort him, to assure him that we were safe, even though I wasn’t one-hundred percent certain myself. Sometimes, when we sleep in the Room of Requirement, side by side, he wakes up in a sweat, sometimes completely out of breath. The first time that it happened, I was so scared; I held his face to look at me, telling him that it was going to be alright, that he was going to be alright until his heart was beating at a normal rate. He had a twinge of fear behind his eyes as he felt around in the bed frantically looking for me, as if I’d gone away. On those nights, he looks at me in a way that suggests that he doesn’t believe that I’m real; as if he’s scared that I’m going to disappear into dust right in front of him. He holds me closer to him on those nights, trying to protect me from whatever it is that haunts his sleep. 

I couldn’t mention any of it to Harry, Ron or even Hermione for that matter, knowing the unpleasant reaction that I would get if I did, so I’ve been keeping it bottled up. I never told them about his mark; I couldn’t, it wasn’t my place to say anything. It’s not my secret to tell. I tried my best not to talk about him to them, seeing as Draco repulses them. I only really mention him to Hermione, who tries to take a general interest. She doesn’t contort her face anymore at the mention of him, which is progress, I guess. 

I’ve wanted to confront Draco about it, all of it, but I knew that I couldn’t get a straight answer out of him; he didn’t want me involved in any part of that world. He’d say he was protecting me from it or that nothing was wrong at all, that he had overreacted to the letter. Instead, I’m there for him when he needs me and he’s there for me. I’m whatever he needs me to be and vice versa. We enjoy each other’s time and company, stealing moments while we can still get them. 

Harry, Ron, Hermione and I talk seriously when we have to, but we try not to talk about it too much, wanting to preserve the small bits of laughter left, even though we were all thinking about the impending doom. I’ve been making the best of whatever happiness is thrown at me lately, taking what I can get, even if it were melancholy, because once the darkness hits, there won’t be any, at least for a while. 

I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t scared, terrified actually, about what was coming. I knew that I had to be careful, knowing that if it were to slip that I was with Draco, I would be almost immediately hunted. I would be dead quicker than I could say horcruxes. It wasn’t the way I wanted it to be, but it was the way it was, at least for now. I knew that Draco would be punished, tortured, for associating with anyone like me. I feared for those I loved more than myself, however, my mother at the top of the list. She was once a powerful witch, a first-class auror, but now, she was practically defenseless, lacking the will to fight back. I knew the Order would try their best to protect her, but would it be enough? I didn’t want to lose her too; I wouldn’t be able to bear it.

“What’s wrong?” Harry asks, frowning. I didn’t notice until now that I was bearing a saddened look on my face. I shake my head, reverting my expression back to a smile. “It’s nothing.” I could clearly tell that he wasn’t going to drop the subject, as he folded his arms against his chest. “Don’t tell me that; I’m not Ron. You can tell me.” He says, his voice carrying an understanding tone. I knew that if I spoke, it would break our unspoken promise to try to be positive, but I do anyway, feeling that if I don’t, I’d be driving myself mad thinking about it. “I’m scared, Harry.” I whisper. His expression sobers, replying, “I know. We all are.” I sigh, biting my lip. “It’s so dark out there; it feels like the darkness if going to swallow us whole.” I look out the window at the charcoal colored clouds that litter the evening sky. “We’ll be okay; we always are.” He assured my, even though I wasn’t quite sure he believed it himself.

Before I could say anything else on the matter, Colin Creevey was standing over us, a bright look on his face, holding out a scroll. “Here ya go, Harry,” He says, rattling on at fast pace. “I was meant to deliver that to you. I was told it was urgent.” Harry takes the scroll from Colin, sitting up, adjusting his glasses on his face, so that he could read it. “Thanks Colin.” He lingers for a moment, looking as if he was expecting something from us, before walking away to join his brother at a table on the other side of the room. Harry pulled carefully at the ribbon holding it together, causing the parchment to fall from its tight roll. He looks down at it hard, blinking a few times. “It’s Dumbledore.” He says, looking back down at it as if he’s still trying to believe what it says. I sit up straight, feeling worry build up in my chest. A letter from Dumbledore could only mean one thing. His voice is hushed, so that no one could overhear him. He gulps before speaking. “He’s found one.” He takes a heavy inhale, looking up at me. “He’s found a horcrux. He wants me to come with him to go get it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter sets up for like the next three(ish) chapters after it
> 
> I'm gonna be posting the first chapter of my Dramione fic later as well as a few more chapters for this story
> 
> Don't hesitate to comment or leave Kudos down below! I love hearing feedback from my readers!
> 
> -Em:)


	24. Chapter Twenty-Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Katherine pleads with Draco to let her help him as a dark presence looms around the castle.
> 
> Katherine's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi,
> 
> So, this is where the action of the next few chapters starts to arrive.
> 
> I hope y'all enjoy!
> 
> -Em

“He’s found one?” I repeat breathlessly, unable to form any other words. Harry nods furiously, looking back down at the note, studying the perfectly slanted handwriting. “He wants me to meet him on the Astronomy Tower and to bring my cloak.” He says, his eyes finding mine. He looked a bit worried, but completely determined. “If we find it; we can destroy another piece of him, bringing us one step closer.” His eyes looked almost hopeful for a moment before his focus was changed. “Where in the bloody hell are Ron and Hermione?” He asks, looking around frantically. “Ginny, have you seen your brother?” He says, causing the red-head to look up from her notes to look at him. She thought for a minute, trying to remember the last time she saw him. “I didn’t realize it was my turn to watch him. Why?” She replies, a snarky grin on her face. “Nevermind.” He says, as he sees the portrait door open to reveal the unmistakable figures of Ron and Hermione walking in. Harry lets out a sigh of relief, but I still wasn’t so sure why he was acting this way.

“Ronald, for the fifteenth hundred time, I will not do your homework for you.” She says, looking frustrated at Ron, who seemingly forgot to do his assignments again. “Not the whole thing. Maybe just the essay Professor Flitwick sent.” Hermione shakes her head, preparing to argue with Ron on the value of homework in education when Harry calls them over. “Ron! Hermione!” Harry shouts, ushering them over in a rushed sort of fashion. The whole room looks towards Harry for a moment before returning to do whatever they were doing. They looked confused by Harry’s strange manner, but came over to us nonetheless. “Is there something wrong, mate?” Ron asks, placing a hand on Harry’s shoulder. Harry holds out the note from Dumbledore. “Dumbledore thinks he’s found one.” Hermione’s eyes widen, giving her the appearance of an owl. “A Horcrux?” She whispers as quietly as she can. Harry nods, “And he wants me to come with him to retrieve it.” A worried look comes across Hermione’s face as she shakes her head. “I know that’s what you wanted, Harry, to be part of the action, but this seems dangerous...” She trails off, but I’m rather glad she said it. “Everything is dangerous nowadays, Hermione. Besides, I’ll be with Dumbledore; there’s nothing safer.” Harry says, but Hermione didn’t look convinced. He grabs her arm, shaking it. “I’ll be okay. I promise.”

Before she could say anything else, Harry ran up the stairs, leaving the three of us bewildered as to what he was doing. He returned two minutes later, carrying a bare bit of parchment and a pair of balled up socks. He was in the process of shoving his cloak into his pocket as he rushed back down the stairs, looking a bit disheveled. “Are you going mad?” I ask as he comes back to stand next to me. “No, I’m not.” He says, holding out the two objects, handing me the parchment that I know to be the Marauder’s Map. Ron takes the socks in his hand, muttering under his breath, “Yes he has,” which causes me to snort. 

“Dumbledore won’t be here tonight meaning that Malfoy will have a clear shot at whatever he’s up to.” I go to interject, telling him that he doesn’t know, doesn’t understand, but Harry doesn’t let me, putting a hand over my mouth. “I know you don’t believe me and that’s okay, but I need you to watch Snape closely. I know he’s up to something as well, whether that’s the same something or not, I don’t know. If Malfoy really does care about you, Katherine, he might listen to you. Just try and talk him out of whatever he's planning.” He pauses, taking a quick inhale before continuing. If he is, planning something, I'll try as hard as I can, but I don't know how much I can do; I don't know what they're holding over him. “Hermione, I need you to use the contact galleons from last year to round up whoever you can from the D.A. if things go south, alright?” I go to protest once Harry releases my mouth, “Harry, I’ve–” I began, but he cut me off before I could really say anything. “I’ve no time to argue with you lot. I have to go to the Astronomy Tower; Dumbledore’s expecting me.” I grimace as does Hermione. We look from each other back to Harry and then to Ron, who’s studying the pair of white socks in his hand.

“That doesn’t explain why I’ve got a pair of socks I’m not sure are clean.” He says, holding up the ball. Normally, we would laugh at a comment like that, but the circumstance just left us with blank faces, looking at Harry for an answer. “You’ll need what’s inside them. The rest of the Liquid Luck is in there. You’ll need to use it; Share with each other and Ginny. Keep each other safe. The only way I’ll know you’re safe is if you take the potion. I’ve got to go.” He wraps his arms around me tight, as if this could be the last time he was ever hugging me. “I love you, alright?” He whispers softly into my ear. I nod into his chest, not wanting to let him go. I couldn’t lose him too. “Don’t look at me like that, Mione, please. You’ll see me later.” he says as Hermione’s eyes take on a glassy appearance. "I promise." He hugs Ron and Hermione, wishing us luck, before hurrying off through the portrait hole.

He leaves us standing there, awestruck at what had just happened. Ron carefully unwraps the socks to reveal the teardrop shaped phial of Felix Felicis. “He needs this more than we do.” Ron says grimly. “He wouldn’t have taken it if we tried to pour it down his throat. You know Harry.” I say to which Hermione responds, “You’re right. He’s too stubborn for his own good.” Hermione grabs Ginny’s attention and we explain to her the situation in the best way we can. She seemed more than willing to fight if she had to, but was a little hesitant about Harry’s Liquid Luck idea. “Neville and Luna would definitely help if we needed. I know they miss the D.A. dearly.” She says after Hermione mentioned that if it were necessary, she would send out a message on the galleons.

We sit and wait for what feels like a while, wallowing in the silence between us. Ron purses his lips together before stating, “I guess we should drink it then.” Hermione, Ginny and I nod in agreement, although all of us were rather reluctant. “Bottoms up.” Ron whispers as he uncorks the bottle with a pop, taking a small sip before passing it to his sister. She holds it, studying the golden liquid within before saying, “Here goes nothing.” She sighs, taking a small swig and passing it to me. I take a breath and look at Hermione, shrugging before downing a sip. It tingles on my lips a bit as I pass the almost empty bottle to Hermione who quickly took it down, looking rather nervous. “How are we supposed to know when it started working?” Ginny asks as we look at one another. Ron shrugs at her, putting the empty phial into his pocket. "I guess we'll figure it out."

I feel my pocket heat up only moments after, as Hermione is constructing a rigid plan with several backups in case ours goes awry. I pull out the galleon that Draco had given me. The side said a simple message: ‘ _ Meet me in the Dungeons. _ ’ I stood up immediately, prompting Hermione to give me a rather cross look. “And where do you think you’re going?” she asks, attitude straining in her voice. “I have to do something. I’ll find you; I’ve got this.” I say, holding up the Marauder’s Map. “We need that for the plan!” She says in a hushed panic. I sit back down and pull out my wand, whispering, “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.” The map appears on the parchment and I open it, looking around for the name I know they needed. I place my finger on the two dots of Severus Snape. “Snape’s in his office, pacing. It doesn’t look like he’s doing anything out of the ordinary, but maybe one or two of you should take watch.” They nod, listening intently to what I had to say whilst under the influence of the potion. “Mischief managed.” Before the map faded away, I saw the two dots of Draco, standing in the dungeons, waiting for me. “I have to go now; I’ll find you later. I promise.” I say, rushing out of the portrait hole before they could make any snide comments or accusations about where I was headed.

I make my way quickly down to the dungeon, avoiding all people successfully. I assume it’s part of the potion working, rendering me lucky enough not to see a single teacher. I clutch at the warm galleon in my pocket, rushing to get to Draco. When I arrive in the dungeon, I push the map into my pocket, folding it over, so that Draco didn’t see it. When I see his pale figure come into view, I can see it shrinking against the wall. “Draco?” I call, trying to keep a light tone in my voice. He turns around to see me, he has a panicked expression on his face. He runs to me, wrapping himself around me desperately before holding me out in front of him. He lets out a sigh of relief into me, holding me close. “What’s wrong, Draco?” I ask, noting sickened look he’s carrying. “Something dark is coming.” He holds out his arm to me as he winces. “I can feel it. You need to get as far away from here, from me, as possible.” He looked so terrified, so worried. 

I put my hands on either side of his face, “Whatever they’re making you do, whatever’s going to happen, tell me. You’ll be okay. I’ll be okay. I can help you. Dumbledore can help you. None of this is your fault. Let me in. Let me help you. Please let me in, Malfoy.” I say desperately, trying to get him to talk to me. He shakes his head. “I can’t. I’m just trying to protect you; I need you to understand that. I have to keep you safe. I don’t know what I’d do if anything happened to you. You have to go back to your room, lock the door and stay there. You need to stay safe. No matter what you hear or what you see going on outside, I need you to stay there.” I try to protest, to cut him off. “I won’t leave you. You don’t deserve this.” I say, but he keeps on talking as if I hadn’t said anything. “After it’s all over; I need you to find Snape. He promised to protect you when I couldn’t. Please, just do this one thing for me.” I bit my lip, almost at a loss for words, but somehow I find some. 

“I can defend myself against what’s out there. Last year I held my own against your father and your aunt.  Let me help you; I don’t want to lose you to them. If you just let me in, we can find another way. I know we can.” I say, looking deep into his grey opals. He shakes his head. “There is no other way; he’ll kill me or worse, you or my mum could die at my expense. I can’t do that to you.” A tear falls down his porcelain cheek, glowing in the candlelight. He places his hand on the back of my neck, his eyes glassy. “Please just go to your room and stay there. You’ll be safe and that’s all that matters. I can’t bear to lose you.” I nod meekly, knowing full well that I had no intention of going back up to Gryffindor Tower. Something inside me was telling me to follow Draco, that he was going to need my help. 

He kisses me passionately, as if he was never going to kiss me again. He presses his forehead to mine, whispering to me, “I love you so much.” The way he said it made it feel like he was never going to have the chance to say it again. “I’ll see you later, when all this is over.” I say, holding his face close to mine. "I promise Draco." He nods weakly, going in for one more kiss before I leave him. This one was gentle, letting me know that no matter what happened tonight, he was still my Draco. “I love you.” I say, staring into his eyes intently so that he knew I meant it. “No matter what.” He pulled me in for a hug that took all breath out of me. It took all I had to pull away from him, leaving him standing. I took one last look at him, biting my lip as I saw how put out he looked. “I’ll see you, okay? I promise.” I say, feeling my heart tear as I walked away. Something big was about to happen; I could feel it. It was going to change everything.

I turned around the corner, checking to see if there was anyone near me before pulling the map out of my pocket. “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.” I say, causing the map to spring to life, illustrating where every person was within the Hogwarts grounds, with the exception of the Room of Requirement. I looked to see that Hermione and Luna were stationed outside of Snape’s office, not too far from where I am now. There was something telling me to wait a little while to follow Draco. I decide to head to them, see if they needed my help first. 

When I approached, they had their wands drawn, ready in case someone were to come and try to attack. “Oh hello Katherine.” Luna says dreamily, a smile etched on her face. “Hi Luna.” I say, forcing a weak smile. “Katherine, where have you been?” Hermione asks, her eyebrows furrowed in ire. “I had to go see him.” I say, feeling as if I was going to have to come somewhat clean. “And?” I sigh. I hush my tone, making it so that there was no way that Snape could hear us from behind his closed office door. “Something dark is definitely coming. I’m not sure what, but...” I trail off, not wanting to explain to her exactly how I know. She nods, knowing better than to pry, especially at a time like this. I told her that I planned to follow Draco, to make sure that he was okay and she thought that it was a better idea than having three of us looking after Snape. She believes that I can stop Draco from whatever Harry believes he's up to. So, I went on my way, letting the potion guide me back to the map

When I went to look for Draco’s dot, I was unable to find it, knowing that meant that he was in the Room of Requirement. How he got in, I don’t know, Neville, Ron and Ginny were standing guard there. What he was doing in there, I had no idea, but I was worried. I knew that I wouldn’t be able to get to him while he was in there, so I’d patrol the corridors on the upper floors. I paced back and forth through the deserted halls, desperately looking for something to do. I checked the map continuously, looking for some sort of change, giving me something to do other than stand around with my wand out. All the waiting around was driving me mad. It felt as if I wasn’t doing something that I should be.

Suddenly, I see Draco’s dot reappear, moving quickly past Ginny, Ron and Neville and up the staircase. I wondered how he did it; he certainly didn't have an invisibility cloak. It looked as if he were going towards the Astronomy Tower. I immediately ran to catch up with him as he approached the tower, where Harry and Dumbledore’s dots have now returned to. I felt my heart stop, but I pushed on, folding the map into my pocket, muttering, “mischief managed.” I don’t know what he was doing up there, but I knew it couldn’t be good. My heart was beating so fast in my chest I’m surprised it didn’t give out. 

I stand on the staircase of the tower, looking up at where Draco is standing, his wand drawn, pointed at Dumbledore. I struggled to find breath and remain silent. The Dark Mark’s greenish glow haunted the sky, making my stomach turn. “Draco, you are no assassin.” Dumbledore says in a calm voice, peering over his half-moon spectacles. Draco looked on the verge of tears, his face scrunched up. It was then that it hit me what Draco was going to do. I lost all ability to move, to speak. I got dizzy and I had to grab the railing to keep from falling. “How do you know what I am? I’ve done things that would shock you!” He yells, trying not to be repulsed at what he was saying. He seemed as if he was trying to get himself to believe the words coming out of his mouth. He released a strangled breath. “Like cursing Katie Bell and hoping that in return she bear a cursed necklace to me? Like replacing a bottle of mead with one laced with poison?” I had thoughts about those events, but I didn't want to believe them. Hearing it out loud woke me up, made me realize that it couldn't have been anyone else; that Harry had been right about Draco all along.

I never thought that he would be standing here, with a wand pointed Dumbledore, preparing himself to commit murder. It all that I had not to run up there and stand between them. Something within me was telling me to wait, not to move. “Forgive me, Draco, but I cannot help feeling that these actions are so weak that your heart can’t really have been in them.” Dumbledore pauses, moving a bit closer to Draco, whose hand was now shaking. “It has been! I’ve been working on it all year!” He spit, causing Dumbledore to shake his head. “We both know that isn’t true.” I could see the fear in Draco’s eyes, radiating off of his body like a disease.

“He trusts me! I was chosen!” He forces the words out, spitting them as if they were poisonous. I could hear in his tone that he didn’t mean a single thing he was saying. He rolled up his sleeve, revealing the sinister mark on his arm. I bite my lip hard, suppressing a sob. I allowed a tear to fall down my cheek, but I quickly wiped it away. Like Draco said, it never something you really got used to looking at. For a moment, I thought Dumbledore looked taken aback at the sight of it, but if he did, it faded quicker than it appeared. “Then I shall make this easy for you.” Dumbledore says, holding his wand lightly in his hand. “ _ Expelliarmus _ .” Draco hissed, causing the headmaster’s wand to clatter to the ground. 

He stands there, his body shaking at an alarming rate. “I don’t think you will kill me, Draco. I don't think you could, even if you wanted to. Killing is not nearly as easy as the innocent believe it to be.” Before Draco could respond, there was crash from down below followed by the screams of children. They pierced my eardrums like daggers. I shuttered, trying to shut the sound out. Draco turned, looking toward the sound, his neck contorting at the sound of torture. “You’re not alone?” Dumbledore asked, raising his eyebrows over his spectacles. “There are others? How?” 

Draco takes a breath before speaking, fighting off the tears that loomed in his eyes. “The vanishing cabinet in the Room of Requirement. I’ve been mending it.” He says, bringing his focus back to Dumbledore. “Ingenious. It has a sister? A twin?” he seemed to be stalling, trying to distract Draco. “At Borgin and Burkes’. They form a passage.” Draco struggled to find words, but spit them out quickly when he did. He kept lowering his wand, not being able to keep it steady. I could tell how terrified he was, how he didn’t want to do this. “Draco, years ago, I knew a boy, who made all the wrong choices. Please let me help you.” Dumbledore’s voice sounded sincere in helping Draco, in helping a boy that was caught in the crossfire of a war that wasn’t his to fight.

For a small second, it looked like Draco was going to give in to him, but then he spoke. “I don’t want your help! Don’t you understand?” His lip began to quiver as he spoke. “I have to do this. I have to kill you. Or he’s gonna kill  _ her.  _ He’ll torture her.” He swallowed hard, lowering his wand a bit more. I feel a pang in my heart at my mention. I wanted to run to him, wrap my arms around him. “I plead with you, Draco. I can help you both, you and Ms. Creswell. I can protect you. I can–” I feel a presence standing behind me, over my shoulder.  “Hello, beautiful.” says a horrible low raspy voice, as he took in my scent, licking his lips repulsively.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little bit of a cliffhanger there, but I won't leave you hanging for too long; the next chapter should be along sometime soon.
> 
> Don't hesitate to leave comments and Kudos below! I love reading feedback and reactions from my readers:)
> 
> -Em


	25. Chapter Twenty-Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Continuation of the Battle on the Astronomy Tower, picking up right where the last chapter left off. I don't want to spoil too much, so I'm just going to leave this rather vague rather than trying to come up with a crappy summary.
> 
> Other than that:
> 
> Katherine's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was intriguing to write, I don't know why, but it was. That's why it's longer than most other chapters, which I like.
> 
> I apologize that it wasn't up sooner, as my computer died and then I got distracted while trying to edit one last time.
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> -Em

I held my breath unable to move as Fenrir Greyback moved my hair away from my neck. “Very pretty.” He whispered, his foul breath against my jaw as he licked his lips once more. My heart practically stopped at that moment, all ability to breathe stopped. I tried to squirm away, but he was too strong. "Get off me." I sneered, trying my hardest to elbow him in the stomach. He grabbed my wand from me, leaving me defenseless. It didn't keep me from trying to fight him, trying to get away desperately. A wickedly familiar voice spoke, “We don’t have time for that right now, Fenrir. Come along now. You can take your dinner with us.” She hissed, walking up the stairs in a stride large enough to carry her ego. Fenrir grabbed me by the shoulder, forcing me to follow the wild black curls of Bellatrix Lestrange; the woman who killed my father. My breath picked up as we reached the top of the stairs.

The werewolf held onto a fistful of my hair with an arm around my neck. Draco blinked hard three times as he saw me, not believing what he was seeing. His breaths were becoming hitched as he unable to look away from me. “Well, look what we have here.” Bellatrix says, laughing maniacally. Draco was becoming enraged, upset, but tried to hold it back. I shake my head as much as I could, but I don’t think he saw me or if he did, he ignored it. “Well done, Draco.” Bellatrix whispered in his ear, a smile plastered on her face at the sight of Dumbledore at the mercy of Draco. He brought his wand up a tad, trying to hold onto his strength as his aunt circled him, but his eyes remained on me.

“Good evening Bellatrix, but I believe introductions are in order, don’t you?” Dumbledore says, looking from person to person, until his gaze settles on me. It then moves to Draco, who was trying to restrain himself, to calm himself down. “Love to Albus, but, you see, we’re on a bit of a tight schedule.” She narrows her eyes at him, an evil smile playing at her lips. She turns to Draco, who’s still staring at me. “Do it!” She hissed at her nephew, who jumped at her words.

"Good Evening Fenrir." Dumbledore said with a nodding gesture of his head. "Why don't you let the girl go; she's not apart of this." He says to which Fenrir laughs a most disturbing laugh. "She's my trophy for tonight. I plan keeping a few of her bones as a souvenir. Just by the smell of her, I can imagine how good she tastes." I whimper, trying to move away from him. "Charming as always, Fenrir." Dumbledore replies, grimacing as he looks at me. He doesn't seem all to surprised to see me here, as if he were expecting it. My eyes plead with him, but I know that there's nothing he can do; he's as defenseless as I.

“Do hurry up, I’d appreciate it if I could finish my dinner before the sun rises.” Fenrir hisses from behind me, leaning down to smell me. He moves a wretched finger to caress my cheek, but as he does, I flinch away, trying to get out of his grasp once more. “Feisty little one.” He says, laughing in my ear, grabbing my jaw. He pulls my chin up, leaning down to smell my neck once more. "Mmmm." Fenrir let out the disgusting sound. “Don’t touch her.” Draco forced out before he could stop himself. He was practically twitching at the sight of Fenrir holding me, breathing on me, touching me. He released a long, but staggered breath. “Draco, no.” I say, shaking my head with all my might. “Know each other, do we?” Fenrir says directly into my ear, his breath hotter than the June air. I struggle to move away, but fail. He laughs at how disgusted I am by him. Bellatrix moves to face me, studying my face. She cocks her head to the side, pouting. “How mummy now that daddy’s gone, Katherine?” She asks, mocking me. She lets out another laugh, a sound so disgusting that it takes everything in me not to cover my ears and cringe.

She brushes hair out of my face with the tip of her wand. “I’m going to kill you for what you did to him. I’m going to kill you slow and painfully, like you did my father, you evil bitch” I spit, unable to control the words that were coming out of my mouth. I was bubbling up to the core with anger towards her, pure hatred. “How dare you speak to me like that!” She hisses, her hand colliding with my face, making a rather loud smack. I feel blood trickle down my cheek, like a warm tear. Fenrir touches it with his finger, bringing the blood to his mouth, tasting it. “LEAVE HER ALONE!” Draco yelled at his aunt, his face turning red with ire. I shake my head frantically at him, giving him an expression as to say, 'I'm okay, be quiet'. Bellatrix looked amused at her nephew’s reaction at first, but then her face sobered, her eyes resting on me.

She looked from me to Draco before grabbing the pendant Draco had given to me that had once belonged to Narcissa Malfoy, holding it in her hand. Her hand closed around it, clenching it so hard that her hand shook. “This is my sister’s necklace. Where did you get this?” She demanded angrily, hissing, her eyes filled fire. She turned to Draco, whose color had drained from his face, leaving him as pale as a ghost. “Oh, I see.” She says, dropping it back down to my neck. “You’re a little whore.” She says, slapping me again, harder this time. It stung, drawing more blood from me. “You dare taint the Malfoy line? She’s blood-traitor, Draco. I’d thought better of you, but you’re worse than your sniveling coward of a father.” She sneers, pointing her wand at him. He says nothing, but looks directly at me.

“Do it, Draco.” Her voice so angry that it sounded calm. She notions towards Dumbledore, who was clutching to the railing of the tower. Draco continues to stare at me, looking petrified. The way he looked at me suggested that he was saying, ‘why couldn’t you just listen to me’. “C’MON DRACO! NOW!” She screamed, causing Draco to break our eye contact as he jumped at her tone. She had lost all patience with him. He tried to raise his wand, but it faltered its way back down. He couldn't do it. I could see it in his eyes.

Before I knew what was happening, Bellatrix grabbed my hair, pulling me away from Fenrir, throwing me to the ground. “If you don’t do it now, I’ll torture your beloved blood-traitor slut.” The words cut through me like knives. Draco looked conflicted, "You wouldn't dare." But of course, he knew she would. She let out a shrill laugh. “Don’t do it, Draco. I’ll be okay.” I say as Draco looks frantically from me to Dumbledore. She kicked me hard in the stomach, knocking all of the air out of me as I groaned in pain. She definitely broke a rib or two. Draco stood his ground and didn’t move, didn’t utter a curse, however, Bellatrix did. “CRUCIO!” She bellowed. When it hit me, it felt like I was unable to breathe. It wasn’t something that started out slowly, it hit me like brick wall. I screamed out in pain, unable control myself. The curse felt as if every bone in my body was being broken over and over again. I writhed in pain, screamed louder than I ever had. My insides felt as if they were on fire, burning the rest of me from the inside out.

She let go of the curse after what felt like an eternity, leaving me in tears. The initial pain had disappeared, but the lingering feeling in my bones left me on the floor, struggling to catch my breath. I felt weak, powerless, to her torture. Sweat glazed my forehead, causing my hair to stick. I caught sight of Draco, who was looking at me with horror, unshed tears filling his eyes. I could see that it hurt him, seeing me like this, but he couldn’t give into her. “I’ll keep going until she ends up in hospital bed in St. Mungo’s like her father.” She smiles maliciously, glaring at me with utmost hatred. “Do your worst, bitch.” I manage to say in between gasps for breath. “CRUCIO!” She yelled once more. This time, I braced myself for the horrific pain that awaited me as the red blast of light left her wand, but nothing could prepare me for the pain that came. When it reached me, it sent excruciating pain up and down my spine, causing me to squirm on the floor. It felt as if my brain was being squeezed, being crushed by a boulder. I screamed out, a blood-curdling scream. I could hear the laughter of the Death Eaters standing above me, enjoying every second of my torture. I felt like someone had broken my ribs, piercing my lungs, making it impossible to breathe. it felt as Harry said it did, like a thousand white hot knives cutting through me all at once, only worse.

Bellatrix let out a laugh as the curse left my body, leaving me even weaker than I was before. I could feel hot tears stinging my cheeks as I stared on at Draco, who was now at my side, holding my hand. “It’s okay; you’re going to be okay. Breathe.” He spoke softly, but had a rough time getting out the words. His blond hair hung over his face as he leaned down. He unstuck my hair from my sticky forehead and combed it with his fingers. “I love you.” He whispered into my ear as he wiped the tears from my eyes. I couldn’t move, could barely speak. I wanted to die, to just let go, let the pain take me. “You’re going to be alright.” He kept trying to comfort me, as I had done for him when Harry had cast sectumsempra on him in the bathroom. It seemed like ages ago. The pain remained this time, taking up residence in my bones, deep into the marrow. “How touching.” Bellatrix says as she kicks my hand, lifeless on the ground. She grabs Draco from me by the neck, pulling him to face Dumbledore, who was looking at me, his eyes filled with sorrow, but there was nothing he could do. “Kill him, Draco. The Dark Lord will forgive you, forgive your family for your sins if you just do it.” He raised his wand slightly, but he turned to look at me on the floor, curled into fetal position, shivering.

He blinked, not knowing what to do. I shook my head at him, trying to tell him not to do it, any way that I could. He said nothing, but stood there, knowing the horrible consequences whether he completed the task or not. “Do you need more convincing, Draco? Or are you going to do it?” Her words spit out like poison. Draco seemed to be at a loss of words. As much I wanted the pain to stop, I knew that if it did, it meant that he had given into them. It would mean that he had murdered, he’d no longer be innocent. "I'll kill her Draco." She sneered. She raised her wand at me, preparing to utter the curse once more. “CRU–” As she began to speak, Snape quickly walked onto the tower, yelling, “No!” he stood between Bellatrix and I, intentionally or not, he had saved me from immense amount of suffering. In that second, I had never been happier to see a man in which I hated with every fibre of my being. Bellatrix looked shocked to see Snape, as did the rest of the Death Eaters on the tower.

Draco turned away suddenly from Dumbledore to look at Snape. I couldn’t place the expression on Draco’s face; it looked as if it were somewhere between fear and relief. “Severus.” Dumbledore says in almost a whisper. He seemed calm, but nervous. He hadn’t spoken in a while, being at the mercy of those who were about to kill him. Snape looked on at him over his hooked nose. He had a blank manner about him, simply looking on. He peered at Snape over his spectacles, breathing out a simple word, but meant so much, “Please.” He was speaking to a man he trusted and defended for years, now he stands over him, his life in the man’s hands. He didn't seem to be pleading with him, but the tone he spoke in seemed so powerful. Dumbledore let out a long breath; I couldn’t tell why exactly. He might been relieved, thinking that Snape had come to save him, or he might have been preparing himself for what followed.

Snape raised his wand and without hesitating spoke the words that Draco hadn’t been able to, “Avada Kedavra.” I let a gasp escape my lips as I watched the curse hit Dumbledore square in the chest. I screamed as the blow threw his body off of the tower and down to hit the ground far down below it. Even if he had been able to survive the curse somehow, the fall would have been enough to kill him. This could not have been happening. Dumbledore could not be dead. Draco froze in horror at what had just happened. Bellatrix and the other Death Eaters laughed and celebrated. Shrill laughter pierced my ears, terrifying me. One of them yelled, “Morsmordre!” A horrid Dark Mark, as prominent as the one etched on Draco's skin, displayed itself across the night sky. My wand clattered to the ground beside me during the celebration, suggesting to me that the potion had not yet worn off, but the ache inside my bones suggested that it had.

They all rushed out to storm and raid the school, destroying everything that made Hogwarts good and safe. Snape tried to grab Draco by the scruff of his neck, but he resisted him, approaching me instead, who’s still on the floor, sitting up with my knees to my chest. “I don’t want to leave you.” He says, whispering to me. I shake my head. “You have to go; they’ll kill you if you don’t.” I say, my voice strained from screaming. “Why couldn’t you have just listened to me?” He huffs, shaking his head. I put one hand on either side of his face. Now was not the time for arguments. I didn't have the energy for it. “I’m stubborn; you already knew that. I wasn’t going to let everyone else stick out their necks while I sat there alone in my room, listening to the atrocities outside.” He sighs, a grimace etched on his face. “I didn’t want this to happen. I didn’t want you to get hurt at my expense.” He sounded ashamed of himself, his head hangs low. “I don’t care that I was hurt. I care that you’re okay. I care that you didn't commit murder.” I say, thinking of how petrified he had looked.

“Do you hate me?” He asks, obviously thinking about the incidents with Ron and Katie and how he didn't tell me about his task, his eyes starting to get watery again. I shake my head. “I’ve told you before and I’ll say it again. I could never hate you, Draco Malfoy; I love you too much. Disappointed? Angry? Yeah, quite a bit, but we don't have time for that right now.” He tried to force a smile, but didn’t quite get there. I was angry at him, disappointed that he would even consider murder, especially of Dumbledore, but now was not the time for it. Now was a time for goodbyes. I swallowed the angry boiling under my skin just for a few minutes. “I love you too.” He replied softly, his face so close to mine that I could count the specks of silver in his irises.

I nodded, leaning into a kiss, knowing that it was going to be our last one for a while. It was gentle, careful, as if he didn't want to break me in my weakened state, but I was just as gentle, not wanting to break him. It felt long and carried a softness about it, but there was an underlying tone of desperation hidden within it. I didn't want it to end, knowing that once it did, he would have to leave. Our tears mixed together, creating a warm, wet mess on our faces. My hands tangled in his blond locks and his in my dark curls. His right hand held me steady, keeping it on my flush cheek. I held him in an embrace, trying memorize everything about him before he left, from the way his soft hair twirls around my fingers to the way his pupils dilate when he looks at me. I wanted to remember everything about him, every minute detail of being with him, of loving him and I never wanted to forget it.

"What will they do to you?" I ask, knowing that Voldemort wasn't going to be very forgiving that Draco didn't complete his task and associated with the likes of me. I'm sure Bellatrix will have a field day telling him of her nephew's disgusting love affair with a blood-traitor. He would be punished greatly for it, I'm sure, but I didn't want to think about it. "Whatever it is, I can handle it." He whispers. I could see it in his eyes that he didn't believe a word of it; he was terrified and there was no hiding it.

I wiped my face and prepared to sob again as he went to stand up, letting go of my hand, leaving it cold. "Goodbye Draco." I choked out quietly. "It's not goodbye; it's see you later, Creswell." He hesitates for a moment, still trying to convince himself that it was. "We’ll find our way back to each other; I promise.” He says, looking back at me, his storm grey eyes glimmer with tears as he forced him down the staircase. I felt hollow, as if there was nothing left inside me besides the pain aching in my bones as I see the last flicker of blond hair disappear into the downstairs, leaving me completely alone on the tower where Dumbledore had just been murdered only minutes ago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently sad chapter ending are becoming habit with this story, whoops. Hope the chapter was alright feel free to let me know what you thought.
> 
> More to come soon and as always, don't hesitate to leave comments and Kudos below! I love reading and replying to feedback from my readers!
> 
> -Em:)


	26. Chapter Twenty-Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Picks up exactly where the last chapter left off, resuming the Battle of the Astronomy Tower. 
> 
> Katherine struggles with the physical injuries sustained after enduring her torture, Dumbledore's murder as well as the struggle of dealing with and revealing secrets.
> 
> Katherine's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't really have anything to say here this chapter, but thanks for reading!
> 
> Enjoy the chapter as I enjoyed writing it!
> 
> -Em

 

Seconds later, I wipe my burning eyes and stand up, knowing that I can’t hide up here forever. I choked back my tears, taking a deep breath. There was pit in my stomach as I forced myself to look down below at the lifeless body of Professor Dumbledore. He looked peaceful in death, even from this far up. It was unsettling knowing that he won't just stand up and dust himself off. Now that Dumbledore had died, everything was going to change; the whole war was going to change. The darkness in the sky would linger, plaguing the world. I couldn’t stand to think about it, knowing that I didn't have the time right now.

I grabbed my wand, holding it at the ready as I ran down the staircase to where the battle was taking place. Members of the Order fought off Death Eaters alongside students, fear in their eyes. Just as Hermione came into view, I saw a vaguely familiar Death Eater, his hair long and scraggly, as if he had just gotten out of Azkaban, fire a killing curse at me, to which I dodged, hopping to my left as fast as I could; it whizzed past my head and shattered a bust that stood nearby. I regained my footing, pointing my wand firmly at him. “Petrificus totalus!” I yelled, causing the Death Eater to fall to the floor, petrified. I ran towards Hermione, who was having a hard time fighting against a woman wearing a wicked smile. “Impedimenta!” I shouted at the woman, slowing her down enough that Hermione could yell, “Stupefy,” knocking the woman onto the ground with a thud. “Thanks.” She says, putting a hand on my back. “Anytime.” I hug her lightly, careful not to hurt myself, releasing an aching breath. 

“Are you alright? You look like hell.” She points to my tear and blood-stained cheeks, causing me to try to wipe them again. I hold my side in pain, hunching over for a minute before standing back up straight, nodding my head. “I have to be, don’t I?” I say, shrugging. Hermione looks at me with concerned eyes, but before she could say anything else, another Death Eater comes running at us, causing me to raise my wand and bellow, “Levicorpus!” sending the man up into the air, hanging by his right leg. “Expelliarmus.” Hermione says, the man’s wand flying in an arc towards her. She caught it with ease as we rushed away.

We fought off more Death Eaters as they came, stopping them from killing or further harming any students or teachers. We dodged, protected, fought, but there was no sign of Draco, his aunt or even Snape. I just hoped that he was okay, safe and away from this. I began to wonder where Harry was, not having seen him since before he left with Dumbledore; I saw his dot at the Astronomy Tower earlier, but by the time I got there, he must have been gone. He wasn't there while I was. I had been too caught up on the Astronomy Tower to worry about him. After copious amounts of spells were fired at various attackers, the intruders had slow down and Kingsley Shacklebolt approached us, out of breath from fighting. He wiped sweat from his brow, catching his breath before speaking to us. “Get out of here. We can handle the rest. Go up to the hospital wing and stay there.” We nodded, knowing better than to argue with him right now. Besides, the pain was starting to burn beyond what I can handle. We rushed away, shouting spells at oncoming Death Eaters as we did.

As we ran through the corridor, our ears filled with screams, Hermione spoke, out of breath, “What happened? Who did that to you?” I bit my lip, fighting back tears as I tried to relive what had happened on the Tower. I limp forward, clutching at my ribs. “Dumbledore’s dead, Hermione.” I mumble as tears flowed freely from my eyes once more. I couldn't stop them. She stopped walking at once, staring at me, her eyes wide with disbelief. “He’s dead?” She said breathlessly. I grab her arm, pulling her forward as I nod. “I saw it, on the Astronomy Tower.” I pause, regaining my breath. “It was Snape; he betrayed a man who trusted him, who advocated for him when no one else did.” I struggled to breathe out, taking taking a gasp. I swallow hard as Hermione fought back tears.  We stagger into the hospital wing, which was already inhabited by many, including Ron, Neville, Ginny, Luna, Fred and George. Again, I couldn't help but wonder where Harry was. “This can’t be happening.” Hermione whispers to herself, looking down at the floor. 

I shared the same denial that she did and I had seen it happen with my own eyes. I would give anything to believe that it wasn’t real, that it had all been a nightmare. I Held onto the hope that I would wake up in Draco’s arms in our place in the Room of Requirement, that he would hold me as I cried about being tortured, Dumbledore dying, and about him having to leave me, having no other choice. I longed for that to happen, but I knew that Draco was gone by now, somewhere far away from here. The pain and despair I was feeling right now was too real to have been a dream; it was our unfortunately reality.

“Are you two alright?” Ron says, running up and hugging us all together, a bit too tight. I groaned in pain, taking in a deep breath. He had a few scratches on his face and he looked unbelievably tired, as did we all. I shook my head and let out a shallow, painful breath, forcing myself to breathe my way through this. I knew that I was going to have to explain everything, from Draco up until what happened on the Astronomy tower with Bellatrix to Dumbledore's death. “What happened to you? We were all so worried when we couldn’t find you.” Ginny says, her eyes looking glassy as it is. “I was on the Astronomy Tower.” I start, formulating each word carefully. Before I can help it, I’m crying again. “Dumbledore was killed. He’s dead.” I force out, causing panicked looks all around. I feel my face get hot, turning red. Fred spoke up, only able to muster a single word, “Who?” His voice cracked at the end. “Snape. Snape murdered him.” They all gaped at me in terror, in disbelief. I can understand why, I’d seen it happen and I could hardly believe it myself. 

No one said anything for a while, but Hermione had me lay into one of the empty beds, curling back into fetal position as I stared on, scared and worried. I still felt as if my body were on fire, the pain taking over me. My chest burned greatly with each shaky exhale. It’s Ron who finally speaks. “What happened to your face?” He says, carefully touching the gash left by Bellatrix’s hand. I shudder at his touch, cowering away. “Bellatrix Lestrange. She slapped me; twice.” I stop, contemplating my next words. “She used the cruciatus curse on me as well.” I let out a burning breath, sighing.  They all looked at me, horrified. I'm not surprised that they were. “Why?” Ginny asks, looking utterly confused. It’s at that moment that I know that I was going to have to come completely clean, no matter the consequence. “Draco was the one who was supposed to kill Dumbledore. The necklace, the mead, they were all just feeble attempts in completing a task that he never asked for, never wanted." I said shamefully, feeling the anger that I had suppressed earlier return in my chest. I chewed down hard on my lip for a moment before continuing. I looked down, not wanting to make eye contact with any of them.

"He was forced into the life he has, raised to be something he’s not. He was forced to take the mark, but he’s certainly not a Death Eater. They were going to kill his mother, torture her right in front of him. They were going to kill him if he didn’t. He had no choice, although I know none of you will believe me when I say it. He's not a killer.” I pause, looking at their faces. I choked on the words as I spoke, having trouble getting them out. All of their expressions were blank, not fully understanding what I was getting at. Hermione and Ron looked angry, upset that I lied to them, that I lied to Harry. I had denied that he was involved in anything that had to do with the Dark Arts, but he was a Death Eater, a full fledged member. I betrayed them. However, I didn't know to what extent he was involved, but that wouldn't matter to them. "You knew?" Ron sneered, his face red with anger. "You told us that there was no way he could be!"

“Since when is he _Draco_?” Ginny says, slightly taken aback by the use of his first name, as if it were poisonous. Her eyes were narrow, piercing my curiously. I bite my lip hard, drawing blood. I take each breath slowly, working my way through the pain, in through my nose, out through my mouth. “Why do you suddenly think you know all about Malfoy?” George asks, his eyebrows furrowed. Hermione and Ron looked to one another, sighing. They look disappointed and angry. “I think you know, but you probably just want to hear me say it. There’s no harm in telling you now, I guess, now that Bellatrix Lestrange knows.” 

"Knows what?" Ginny says, her expression getting more frazzled than it was before. I take a breath, preparing to see outraged reactions. “I’ve been with Draco... dating, courting, together, whatever you want to call it, since before Christmas." I pause, taking a pained breath. "I care about him very much. I already know what you’re going to say. I got an earful from Harry, Ron and Hermione already. He’s not the monster you all think he is. He’s a victim just as much as we are, maybe more.” I say quietly as I shiver. The looks on all of their faces would make you think that I’d just slap them. “He’s a git. He’s a right git and he’s a Death Eater. I don’t understand. His aunt… She…” Neville says, trailing off. His breathing picked up. "My parents...Your dad..." He hyperventilates, squeezing his eyes shut tightly. “Neville, please calm down. He’s not his aunt and he’s not his father.” I say, putting a hand on his shoulder, rubbing it in circles. “How could you?” Ginny asks, shaking her head, her eyes filling with pure betrayal. “Malfoy of all people.” She says. “Gin, please. Try to understand. He’s not the person you think he is.” She just shakes her head and sighs. "He's a Death Eater, Katherine. He's a bad person."

I go on with my story, ignoring their reactions, although my face is now beet red, retelling the events of the night. “I wanted to follow him; I wanted to make sure that he was okay, so I did. The map led me to the Astronomy Tower, where I found him with his wand pointed at Dumbledore, his hands shaking, lip quivering. I stood on the staircase, so that he couldn’t see me. I could see in it his eyes that he couldn’t do it, he wouldn’t do it. He knew that wasn’t right. Dumbledore knew it, he tried to help him, offer him refuge, but he’s just as stubborn as Harry. He knew that Voldemort would kill me, kill his mother if he didn’t complete the task. He explained to him that he had been repairing the vanishing cabinet in the Room of Requirement, so that when the time came, he could let Death Eaters travel into the castle undetected. It worked, as we see tonight.

“It was then that Bellatrix and other Death Eaters climbed up the stairs to the tower. Fenrir Greyback grabbed me, pulling me to the top of the tower with them, so that he could kill and torture me when it was all over. When he touched me, tasted my blood after Bellatrix slapped me, Draco couldn’t control himself. I tried to mouth to him that I was okay, not to worry, but he didn’t see me. He screamed at him, telling him to leave me alone. Bellatrix figured it out, because of this,” I hold out the necklace, showing them the pendant. My hand closed around it, I shut my eyes, fighting back tears. “She-she tortured me to get Draco to do what she wanted, to kill Dumbledore, knowing that she kept pushing, my screams and tears would draw to anything to make it stop. I told him that no matter what happened, not to give in, not to tell her win.” I stammered. My body shook, gulping for air as I could see the moment playing back in my head. Hermione placed a supportive hand on my shoulder, though I could sense that she wasn't happy with me at the moment. “She kept going, kept pushing. She taunted me, hurt me. I wanted to die, I wanted it to be over. Draco’s wand wavered, but before he make a final decision, Snape arrived and without hesitation, murdered Dumbledore. He showed him no mercy. I saw the light leave his eyes as he fell over the railing of the tower, landing on the grass below. I should have known it would be Snape.” I whisper, shaking my head. Neville wrapped his arms around me, holding me steady as I broke down in front of all these people.

His arms were replaced by another familiar pair shortly after. Harry cradled my head in his chest, comforting me in a way that no one else could. He took both sides of my face into his hand and prompted me to look at him. “Where have you been?” I shout, looking into his emerald eyes for answers. He looked sullen and angry, his breathing was harsh, as if he’d just been running. “I had to go after Snape; I needed to, but he got away, like always does, like a cowardly snake, slithering away.” He turned to me, letting out a great sigh. “Did you see him, Draco?” I ask, my eyes filled with concern for the blond-haired boy I loved. He nodded. His eyes glittered with tears, the area surrounding them was pink and raw. “I was there, on the Astronomy Tower too, Kat. I was watching from underneath the floor, using my cloak.” He says. “I saw it; I saw everything.” I try to steady myself with breath, but instead find more pain as I feel where Bellatrix had kicked my rib in. I wince in pain, wanting it to stop. “You’re so strong.” He whispers, rubbing his thumb back and forth on my back, trying to calm me down. He places his hand in mine, giving it a light, assuring squeeze. “I’m going to kill her for she did to you.” I sigh, biting my lip. “I’m so sorry, about Malfoy, about everything. I should have stopped her.” He says, as I wipe my tears.

The mention of Draco forced me to choke back another sob, “I guess it’s the wrong time to say that I told you so.” He whispers, trying to lighten the mood, but it does the opposite; I was going to have to tell him that I betrayed him, that I lied to him for so long. “I already knew, Harry. I’ve seen it before, his mark.” I let out in a whisper. He tried not to look horrified as he stared back at me. “You knew he was a Death Eater and you didn’t say anything?” His voice was hushed and definitely angry. "You lied to me! You told me that he wasn't." He says, his green eyes piercing me, breaking me. “I couldn’t; you never would have understood. You’re so blind when it comes to him. You were there on the tower tonight. You saw how scared he looked, how he didn’t want to do any of it.” He didn’t say anything else, instead, he sat on the bed beside me, putting his arm around me while I sat with glassy eyes. I could feel the ire radiating off of him as he tried to control himself and comfort me instead.

When everyone else had migrated to the other side of the room to look at Bill Weasley, who had been attacked by Greyback shortly after he had been on the tower, other than Harry, Ron, Hermione and I, Harry spoke. “It was Snape. It was always Snape.” He looks down at his feet, sighing. I know that he could see the same image replaying over in his brain that I did; the vision of Snape killing Dumbledore without hesitation, without care. “He was the Half-Blood Prince.” He says, not making eye-contact with any of us. “It was his book. That’s how he knew how to heal Malfoy, that’s why he asked to see my school books after I had cursed him.” None of had anything to say to that; on any other day, a revelation like that would have invoked a reaction of some sort, but at point in time, our faces remained numb. I had more important things to know about, to care about at that second.

“Did you guys do it? Find it?” Hermione asks, searching for any source of progress or good news. I was almost glad that the subject had changed, I wasn't sure that I could handle talking about Draco any longer. Harry sighed and pulled an object, a locket, out of his pocket, handing it to Hermione. “It’s a fake. It was all for nothing. We went all the way there; he put himself through pain drinking a horrid potion, only to find out that it was all for nothing.” He sounded discouraged, his voice filled with disdain. Hermione turns the locket thrice in hand, examining it with a grimace. She opens it and a note falls out onto her lap. “Did you see this Harry?” She asks, holding up the folded piece of parchment. He nods, looking back down at his lap. He holds my hand there, both of us needing the support of the other, regardless of how angry he was with me. Tonight was not the time to take notice to it

Hermione unfolds the note, reading out loud to Ron and I:

“ _ To the Dark Lord: _

_ I know I will be dead long before you read this, but I want you to know that it was I who discovered your secret. I have stolen the real horcrux in an attempt to destroy it as soon as I can. I face death in the hope that when you meet your match, you will be mortal once more. _

_ R.A.B. _ ”

None of could fathom who the mysterious R.A.B. was, but they had the real horcrux. It was uncertain whether they had destroyed it or not, but they were most certainly dead. 

We trekked down to the courtyard, where a large crowd was gathering around Dumbledore’s body. As we approached, the group parted, letting us through to see him. Harry held my hand tight, bringing me to crouch down next him. His eyes were empty, a vacant reminder that he was no longer the man he was. We would never again see the wisdom within them. He straightened Dumbledore’s half-moon spectacles on his nose, closing his eyes so that it looked as if he were sleeping a most peaceful slumber. Harry wiped the stream of blood coming from his mouth with his own sleeve, swallowing hard. He would never again peer at us over his spectacles, speak wise words to us; he was dead, gone, leaving us to fend for ourselves in this world, in this war.

Harry placed his head onto my shoulder in desperation, letting himself fall apart momentarily, seemingly forgetting that I betrayed him, that I lied to him. I couldn't help, but feel shame, feel guilty for what I did. I placed my free hand at the nape of his neck, bringing him towards me. He sobbed loudly as we knelt there. I wheezed in pain, holding a sob in, knowing that crying would only make it hurt more. In all the time we spent in the hospital wing tonight, Madam Pomfrey had been to preoccupied by Bill to notice that I had been hurt, leaving me with a cracked rib, purpling bruises on my stomach and abdomen as well as my face, and open gashes. I was still shaking as a result of the Cruciatus curse, feeling its effects in my bones. 

The crowd of people, students, members of the Order, and staff, raised their wands in respect, lighting up the sky, for the wise and brilliant man that lie before us. I raise mine, lighting it wordlessly as Harry clung to me, releasing the emotions he had kept bottled up all night. I comforted him as best I could, trying not disappear into myself. All I wanted to do was shut myself in and not deal with what was ahead, but I knew I couldn’t; I knew Harry needed me, no matter how much he wished that he didn't. If I did what I wanted and allowed myself to become catatonic, I would become my mother. I couldn't become that.

I sighed, leaning my head on Harry’s, looking up at the white lights that filled the sky, almost giving me an inkling of hope in this night of darkness. I feel my pocket go warm in that moment, getting so hot that it almost burns me. Before that second, I had forgotten about the coin that Draco had given me. I let go of Harry’s hand temporarily, reaching into my pocket to pick up the galleon. I hold it carefully, waiting to open my hand I hoped with all my heart that it wouldn’t be bad news; I couldn’t handle any more of that tonight. I brace myself and look at it, four words coming into view. As I read them, I let out a painful exhale of relief. It had simply read:  _ ‘I’m safe; love you’  _ and nothing else. Those words meant more to me now than most could. They gave me a tiny bit of relief in a night of tension and heartbreak. I let a tear drip down my cheek as I read it over and over again, reassuring myself that Draco was indeed okay, even if I never saw him again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter will be up shortly!
> 
> As always, don't hesitate to leave comments or Kudos! I love reading and replying to my readers!
> 
> -Em:)


	27. Chapter Twenty-Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time jump to over the summer as Katherine is still dealing with the repercussions of her actions of lying to Harry, Hermione and Ron as well as the revelation of her relationship with Draco. The battle between anger and ache in her mind takes over the subject of Draco.
> 
> Katherine takes on the task of telling her mother about her's and Draco's relationship
> 
> Katherine's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a hot minute whoops; I meant to upload this a while ago but I've been away, so sorry about that, but here it is.
> 
> It's a little longer to try and make up for the wait
> 
> Enjoy:)
> 
> -Em

In the dreary days that followed Dumbledore’s death and the Battle on the Astronomy Tower, Hogwarts had a different feeling surrounding it. It was as if the corridors seemed colder, emptier, less inviting than they once had been. With the announcement of the attack on the school came many terrified parents, who came to the school, one after another, to pick up their child, bringing them home so that they could keep an eye on them, whether they wanted to or not. The Patil twins were among those, their parents were insistent, not having wanted them to come back to school this year in the first place. They went reluctantly, along with many others.

As many students departed home, many other witches and wizards arrived, coming to pay their respects to the man who had influenced many. People came from far and wide to attend the funeral, bringing together an odd assortment of people who had known Dumbledore or heard of his greatness. Dumbledore was buried in a white tomb, made of marble, gleaming brightly in the June sunlight. He was buried on school grounds, that being his only dying wish. Harry held my hand the entire time, as if it were his lifeline, though he still hadn't forgiven me for lying to him about Draco. Right now, this was more important, more imperative to him at the given time. We had somehow become even closer since that night, knowing that we shared a something so horrible that no one else understood, other than Draco, that is, although I haven’t seen Draco and have scarcely heard from him since that night. 

Word spread quickly about what had happened on the Astronomy Tower throughout the school, bringing stares, glares and whispers my way. They had all known that I had been tortured by Bellatrix Lestrange, that I had watched Dumbledore’s murder. Some even knew about Draco and I; I wasn't ashamed as much as I was upset. Everyone knew my secrets and the Slytherins didn’t hesitate to voice it, actually everyone did. I had nothing private left, not a thing. Mutters and shouts spoke to me in the Great Hall, telling me that I was a fool, a traitor, a Gryffindor snake lover. Of course, they twisted it, making it seem as if I didn’t know about Draco and that he had used me to hurt Harry. I knew it wasn’t true, but it still hurt to have people think it. I felt so vulnerable in a place where I once felt so safe. I felt as if I had nowhere to turn, no where to go now that Draco was gone. 

I had spent the latter days after the battle in the hospital wing alongside Neville, who I had been too shell-shocked to notice he’d been hurt. I had been treated for the rib that Bellatrix broke with her foot and was evaluated post-cruciatus curse for signs of mental distress and organ ruptures. Harry, Ron, Hermione and Ginny sat at my bedside, talking to me in those days, not wanting to leave me alone. We tried to avoid all mention of the obvious, trying not to let it change things, but of course it did. 

There was no avoiding it anymore, no denying it. The war had arrived, hitting us at full force. We knew, Harry knew, that we were going to have to begin our search for Voldemort’s horcruxes. Being as stubborn as he is, he didn’t want us to go with him, especially me, but after a bit of arguing, he finally conceded. As much as I felt that I needed to be there, I couldn't help but get a feeling in my gut telling me not to go, that Harry didn't want me there because of what I did with Draco. There had been no leads on who R.A.B. was or whether he had actually destroyed the horcrux he stole from its hiding place, leaving Harry discouraged in the months that followed.

I had returned to my home after term ended, taking up the task of handling my mother. We moved into the Burrow as the Order deemed our house, our home, no longer safe, that it was a target of interest, especially given my wanted state. Ginny and I have been sharing a room, but I’m rarely in there other than sleeping. I’ve been doing some work for the Order, helping with to organize safe houses with Mr. Weasley as well as helping Mrs. Weasley around the house. I can't bring myself to sit in one room and stare at walls; it would drive me insane. 

I’m not allowed off of the property, apparently, I’m being looked for by snatchers, ordered by Bellatrix Lestrange to capture me. There's a large price on my head, dead or alive. I try to keep myself busy, so my mind doesn’t wander, doesn’t bring me back to that night. I didn’t let myself think about any of it, with the exception of Draco. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t keep him out of my mind. He was like an infection, a disease; I was stuck on him, the last moments of us together playing on repeat in my brain.

I was scared for him. I know he was probably hurt, probably tortured when he returned to the Manor, or wherever he went. He failed to complete his task and had fallen in love with a blood-traitor and a member of the Order of the Phoenix. It definitely warranted punishment in the eyes of Voldemort, in the eyes of his aunt, in the eyes of his parents. I frequently had nightmares about him writhing in pain on the floor, screaming, as Bellatrix, his father, and Voldemort took turns torturing him until his brain went numb. He was beaten bloody and broken, unable to stand up, unable to move. In the dreams, I had been unable to get closer to him than a few feet, leaving me to watch him scream for what felt like hours on end. Those nights, I woke up screaming, crying. Ginny would try to comfort me the best she could, but it wouldn’t always help. I wanted to assure myself that it wasn’t real, that none of it happened and she couldn’t help with that. She, I, had no proof that it didn’t. Draco was no longer here to tell me that it didn’t, that it wasn’t happening. For all I knew, it could be.

I missed him dearly, clinging onto every memory of him that I could possibly think of, from the way his Adam’s apple bobbed when he was nervous to tell me something to the subtle taste of peppermint on his tongue that lingered every time he kissed me. Oh, the way he kissed me, it was fiery, passionate, desperate, yet loving and gentle. I missed the words he would murmur into my skin as he kissed my neck, the groans he would make when I sucked his bottom lip. I missed the way that the left corner of his mouth quirked up when I challenged or enticed him. I missed his smell, slightly of cologne, but also of cinnamon. It filled me with a warm feeling that I lacked these days. I still had a single tee-shirt of his, which I had stolen from him months ago to make his Walk of Shame all the more shameful, displaying the bruises and bite marks that littered his body, from his neck to just below his naval, where the waistband of his pants lied.

Despite loving him, I was still finding it hard in my heart to forgive him for what he did to Ron and Katie, almost killing them both in an attempt to complete his task or murder. He let Death Eaters into the castle, leaving all of the children and staff within it, completely vulnerable to attack. I was still very much angry, but my heart was heavy, weeping for him all the same. I wanted to see him again, even if it meant I was going to punch him like Hermione did third year, but harder.

I grip the coin tightly in my hand and try to remember what it feels like for it to be warm, to have a fresh message to deliver. It had been weeks since I’d heard from him and I was starting to worry; he had been sending them almost every week. His messages were always plain and simple, not giving me much insight to what was happening, but assured me that he was alive, now I wasn’t quite sure. I had been sending them to him every week, letting him know that I was indeed safe and that I loved him. I held the galleon tight, thinking the message for this week, it reading, ‘ _ I’m beginning to worry about you, but otherwise, I’m okay; I’m still breathing.’  _ I sigh as the message appears on the coin, indicating that it was delivered to him, wherever he was. 

As I slip the coin back into my pocket, there’s a knock at the door, “Kat?” The voice said, giving me a bit of a start. “Come in.” I say plainly, wiping the tear I didn’t know was forming in my eye. The door opens and in walks the unmistakably bushy hair of Hermione Granger. Her eyes are swollen and her lips chapped; overall, she looked about as good as I had been in the past few months. She gives me a weak smile and a wave. I plant a forced smile on my face as I stand up and hug her tight. “I missed you Mione.” I say. “I missed you too, Katherine.” I haven’t seen Hermione since term ended as she went back home for the first part of the summer. “I did it.” She said meekly, biting her bottom lip to stop it from quivering. I knew that she now had nowhere else to go; she wiped her parents memory of her and sent them to Australia, so that they would be safe from the war. 

Her parents would never remember who she was or who they were. I could never bear to do that to my mother, but I suppose, if it came down to it; I’d have to. When she told me of the plan, I was hesitant, but supportive of her, knowing that she wouldn’t have done it if she had any other choice. She loved her parents more than anything, they were all she had left. “Oh, Mione.” I say putting a hand on her shoulder. She blinked as her eyes glinted with tears. “Do you want to talk about it?” I ask, not wanting to pry on such a sensitive subject. She shook her head, biting down hard on her bottom lip, likely holding back a sob.

We sat on my bed, side by side and she put her head on my shoulder. She takes the pendant of my necklace and holds it in her hand. “Have you heard from him?” She asks, running her finger over the emerald. “Not in the last two and a half weeks.” I pause. “I’m starting to worry that something happened to him.” I shake my head, swallowing hard. “I’m sure he’ll be alright. Malfoy’s a survivor; he always has been.” She says, placing the necklace back. Everyone knows my secret, about Draco and me. They’re all still adjusting to the thought of it. Most people have been colder to me than they have in the past, but I try not to notice. I haven't been told as much about important mission, which bothers me, but I guess I can deal with that. As far as they all know, I’m not in contact with him as of right now; I couldn’t tell them about the galleon; they’d want me to use Draco to get information and I couldn’t put him through that. I cared about him too much. 

Harry, Ron and Hermione, however, have really been trying, knowing that I needed all of the support I could get. Hermione completely eliminated all contortion in her face at the mention of him. Ron, well, he’s still working on it. The insults have calmed down a bit, but other than that; he’s still the same. He was trying though and that’s all that mattered to me. Before we left Hogwarts, at the end of term, Harry told me that he could see that Draco did indeed care about me that night on the Astronomy Tower and that he wasn’t mistreating me in any way. He said that as long as I was happy with him and as long as he was good to me, he would try to keep his comments to a minimum. That meant more to me than anything. I know that if Draco ever comes back, if I ever see him again, it will all be as before, but it feels nice knowing that he said that, even if it is an empty promise. As far as Harry knows, I haven’t spoken to Draco; I've only told Hermione about the existence of the coins, worried about what Harry would say. 

My worry, my anxiety, was eating me alive. I’m so scared for him, so worried about him. I couldn’t stand knowing that he could be locked in a cell or worse. He could be dead and I wouldn’t know. It drove me mad; I needed him to answer, to let me know that he was still breathing. I loved him too much to lose him. “I don’t want to lose him, Mione.” I say. “I know.” She replies, her head on my shoulder still.

Tomorrow night, the Order would be moving Harry from his aunt and uncle’s house at Privet Drive back here to the Burrow, where’d he’ll be safe(r) from harm. The Order had formed a elaborate plan and even set a false trail to the Ministry, which was now infiltrated with Death Eaters. I missed Harry and honestly can’t wait to see him again, even if he is still mad at me; I needed him now more than ever, especially with Draco gone. I begged and begged everyone and anyone with the least bit of authority, asking if I could go, but none of them let up. Everyone seemed to think that taking me out of the house was too risky in case something went wrong. I wanted to help, to be a part of the action, but I lost out on this one. I need to get out of the house before I start to go mad, well madder than I already am.

~~~~~~~~

 

When I first arrived here, I had the impossible task of explaining to my mum the situation at hand. I had told everyone else already, leaving my dear mother for last. I wanted her to hear it from me, not from someone else, so I kindly told everyone not to say anything to her until I spoke to her myself. If she heard it from someone else, there was a greater chance that she’d be angry and wouldn’t listen to me, knowing the way she’s been since Dad died. She heard about the torture on the Astronomy Tower and knew that I had witnessed Dumbledore’s murder, but she didn’t know why I was there and why I wasn’t allowed to leave the house. Hearing about my torture almost broke her again, so I waited a few days before telling her everything.

I knocked on the door to the room that my mum was currently staying in, opening the door as I heard her say, “Come in.” She was sitting on the edge of the bed, reading a book. I’d caught her on one of her few good days, hoping that she’d more understanding, more coherent to my story. She looked up as she saw me enter, giving me a small smile as she patted a spot next to her. “Hello sweetheart.” She says. I sit down next to her, smiling at her. “Hi mum.”

I look down to see that’s it’s not a book she’s reading, but a photo album that she was looking at. I smile, a melancholy feeling in my chest as I look down at it. The picture that she was looking at, showed my mother about twenty years ago, laughing, as my father, looking more handsome than I had ever seen him, hugged her from behind. He was also laughing, kissing my mother’s cheek with a big grin etched on his face. It felt so strange to see him like that, in his natural state. They looked so happy together, so innocent, naive. My mother had never shown me old pictures before, as she kept them very private.

In the photograph, it’s easy to see the resemblance between my mum and I. If I looked from far enough away, I’d probably think she was me. We had the same chocolate brown eyes and we shared the same curly, but not quite unruly, dark brown hair that framed our faces. Our bone structure was similar and our noses were almost identical. I’d never seen my mum look like that before; I’d never seen her so happy. She looked so beautiful, so youthful. 

“This was taken the day I found out I was pregnant with you. Your father was so happy; we were so happy.” She says, smiling at the picture. “Lily took this photograph; she said she wanted to ‘capture the moment.’” She bit her lip, her eyes glimmering with tears. She's silent for two beats, leaving me in suspense to what she said. “I want you to have it.” She says, taking the picture out of the album, passing it to me. “No, mum it’s yours.” I say, trying to pass it back to her, but she shakes her head. “No. It’s something of your father’s for you to have. He would have wanted you to have it.” She says. I feel my eyes begin to well with tears, but I fight them, not wanting to cry again.

I study the photo in my hand and then look back up at my mum, who was wiping her eyes. “What was it that you wanted, dear?” She asks, giving me a half-hearted smile. I take a deep breath, preparing myself to tell her. “Mum, I have to tell you something.” She nods, saying “Alright. What is it? Is something wrong?” I shake my head, but then it turns into a shrug. I sigh, gnawing at my bottom lip in anxiety.

“I don’t really know how to say this, Mum.” I say, looking down at the picture in my lap. “Spit it out Katherine. You’re not doing either of us any good by prolonging it.” She says. I nod, then go to speak. My hand clutches at the pendant around my neck, holding it tight. “I want to tell you why I was on the Astronomy Tower that night.” I practically whisper. She nods slowly, looking down at the floor. "Go on." She whispers. “You see, I, um, I was trying to protect someone.” I hesitate, sighing. 

“Someone who I believe deserves protecting, someone I love fiercely and care greatly about. I wanted to help him so badly; he’s in a bad situation. I followed him up there, in hope that I could help him, stop him from doing something that I knew would ruin him, would break him.” I paused and swallowed hard. I had to make myself clearer, let her know whom I was speaking. “His name…” I hesitate one more time, trying as hard as I can to spit the words out. “Is Draco Malfoy.” I practically whisper it. I can feel my face bloom crimson.

My mum’s head snaps back up and she stares at me with wide eyes, her mouth agape. “I know what you think of the Malfoys and I’m not denying that Lucius and Narcissa are bad people; I don’t like them myself. But Draco’s different than them. He’s good; he’s good to me. He’s just… had a rough go.” Her eyes are filled with disappointment and a twinge of anger, but she allows me to continue. I saw her cringe slightly and release a slow breath. “I followed him and stayed on the steps so he wouldn’t see me. He had a task to complete, but I could see in his eyes that he couldn't do it. He was just a boy. He disarmed Dumbledore and I listened to their conversation from the staircase, but Fenrir Greyback found and caught me. He dragged me onto the tower by my hair and was saying disgusting things. Draco was so shocked when he saw me; I promised him I would go to my room and stay there.” I let out a staggered breath, regaining my focus.

“Fenrir touched my cheek and Draco couldn’t control the words that came out of his mouth. He wanted to protect me. When Bellatrix recognized me, she insulted me and I retaliated, causing her to slap me.” I point to the faint pink scar on my cheek. “Draco lost it and screamed at his aunt, but that was when she saw this,” I pulled the pendant off of my neck and gave it to her to hold. It was the first time I’d taken it off since Draco gave it to me, all that time ago in the Room of Requirement. She turned it over thrice in hand and touched it so carefully as if it would harm her. 

“This is a necklace Draco gave me that once belonged to his mother. Bellatrix recognized it straight away and figured out why Draco was so defensive to anyone touching me. She used the cruciatus curse on me, trying to force Draco into murder, telling him that she would only stop if he did it. I told him not to give in no matter what she did to me. That it didn’t matter because I would be okay.” I left out all details about my father, not wanting to make her more upset than I can see she’s getting. 

“As she was going in for another round of torture, Snape entered the tower. Well, you know what happened after that…” I paused, releasing a sigh as tears formed in my eyes. “Draco had to leave; there was no way he could stay after what had happened and they’d kill him, kill his mother, kill me, if he didn’t comply. I haven’t seen him since, but Bellatrix Lestrange is hunting me, sending snatchers every which way to find me.” I say, waiting for a response. “Why do you care so much about a  _ Malfoy _ , about a Death Eater?” She says, her face in her hands, her back hunched over. She probably already knew the answer, although I think she wanted to hear me say it, hear me own it. 

“I love him, Mum.” I say softly. “He cares more about me than you could know.” She shakes her head and looks up to make her eyes meet mine. They were becoming red rimmed from her incessant rubbing and I could see the glimmer of tears in her eyes. “How could you do this? To me? To your father’s memory? He would be so disappointed in you Katherine.” She whispered venomous, her voice angry, but soft. She never was one for yelling, even at her angriest peaks, but the words stung just the same. She was using my father to make me feel guilty. “ _ A Death Eater. _ ” She snarled. “A  _ fucking  _ Death Eater.” She repeated. “And a  _ Malfoy. _ ” She added. I notice tears drip down my nose and onto my chapped lips, stinging them with their salt. “He’s not like them. He’s different.” I try to reason. “They’re all the same. They’re all murderous, heartless beings.” She spits. I shake my head frantically, wiping my tears with my sleeve. “No, he’s not; Draco’s not. He never wanted this, any of it. He didn’t have any choice.” I say, trying to defend Draco, knowing that no matter how angry I could be at him that I’d still defend him.

My mother didn’t seem so convinced by my words, but she didn’t know Draco, not like I did. “He tried to kill Dumbledore; he disarmed him, you even said he did. He’s a Death Eater, nothing more.” She says as a single tear runs down her cheek. “He has the mark; he’s one of them. He’s not a good person no matter what you say. No one branded with that mark is good in any way. He’s lying to you. He doesn’t care; someone like that is incapable of care, incapable of love. He’s using you” She scoffed. My mum looked at me unblinking as she spoke. “You don’t understand; you don’t know him.” I whisper, trying not to further anger her. “His aunt tortured you, tortured your father and killed him. And you give him a pass on that? His family, him, the whole lot of them are murderous, pureblood maniacs-.” I cut her off, not meaning to be rude, but needing to make her listen, make her understand. “He’s not his aunt. He hates Bellatrix, especially after what she did to me. He’s not responsible for anything his family does. How is it fair to judge someone based on their parents actions and not on their own? You weren’t there; you didn’t see him on the Tower. He was just as terrified as I was.” I pause, licking my lip, tasting the stinging salt of tears on my tongue. 

“He’s just a boy. This isn’t his fault.” I say. “He’s a victim, like the rest of us.” I whisper. “Your father was a victim,” She spoke in an eerily calm tone, scaring me a bit. “People like your, your,  _ Malfoy, _ ” She spit the word out like poison. “They wield the sword that kills people like your father. They cause this. They cause destruction and suffering. They kill the innocent. They prey on it.” I swallow hard as I try to take in her words without falling apart. “He hasn’t killed anyone.” Before I could say anything out, my mother’s next words cut me off, leaving a sour taste in my mouth. “Yet.” She retorted.

“Draco didn’t kill Dad. He didn’t have anything to do with it.” I say, knowing how cold and bitter my tone sounded. She blamed him because he was available to blame. “Please try to understand, Mum. Please. Nothing you say is going to change my mind about him. Draco’s a good person. He doesn’t want to hurt people. Sure he’s arrogant and his ego is larger than the mansion he lives in, but that doesn’t make him evil. He’s just a boy and he  _ does  _ love me. He’s not like them; the Death Eaters or his parents. He just wants to be left alone.” I let out desperately, needing her to understand. “I just want you to try. I don’t expect you to love him, to like him even. I don’t even know if I’ll ever see him again, but I just need you to do this one thing for me.” She nods, putting the cold pendant back into my hand. My hand gripped around it, memorizing it. “I just don’t want to lose you too. I don’t want you to hate me because of this, this thing. I know it’s scary and puts me at risk. I know it’s dangerous, but I love him anyway. I’m not expecting you to be proud of it, proud of me, but please don’t hate me. I can’t lose you.” I say, tears streaming down my cheeks. 

My mum reaches over and wipes them away from one cheek. “I could never hate you, my beautiful Katherine. My only daughter. I may not understand you, understand why you’re willing to give up everything for someone so horrible, so unworthy of your love, but I could never hate you. I am disappointed however.” She trails off, finding it difficult to formulate that last word. I look down at the picture of my father and mother in my hand, biting back a sob. He looked so happy, his eyes so bright, even in the black and white of the photograph. Would he too have been disappointed in me, in who I’ve come to love? 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It might be a little longer till my next chapter, as this is the last one I had prewritten, but it'll be up sometime soon.
> 
> As always, I love hearing feedback so don't hesitate to leave comments and Kudos!
> 
> -Em


	28. Chapter Twenty-Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So hello!
> 
> I'm back from the dead with another chapter!
> 
> Due to snatchers hunting her, Katherine is unable to join the rest of the Order on the mission to retrieve Harry from Privet Drive. She finally receives a message from Draco. Hermione gives her a surprise.
> 
> Katherine's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the wait; I had writer's block and an extremely long assignment to do.
> 
> Hopefully I made up for it with this extra long chapter; I'm pretty sure it's the longest I've written for this story.
> 
> I have made a Tumblr to post about my writing the URL is dilemma-ed feel free to contact me with suggestions, comments, requests or just to talk, but it's a secondary account so it means I'm only able to like and follow on my primary which the URL is dil-emma-ed.
> 
> Sidenote: I've been working on a Dramione War AU one shot and that should be up soon, although it's like the longest one shot in history. It's called To The Fallen
> 
> Anyway, Enjoy!
> 
> -Em

_ I’m fine. Don’t worry. Stay safe, Love; don’t go anywhere. _

 

I swallow hard, trying to blink away the tears I know are coming. I press the golden coin to my lips, trying to pull any remnants of warmth, any remnants of him to my body, though it's all gone. I trace my finger along the delicate lettering before wrapping my fist around the coin, clenching it tightly in my fingers. As a tear falls, I focus on the message I want to send back to him. I wipe it away quickly, in case my mother, Ginny or Mrs. Weasley comes into the room. I shut my eyes, willing myself to focus, until I feel the slight warmth that lets me know that my message was received. I unclench my fist, looking down at the coin once more. It reads: ‘ _ I miss you more each day; I love you so much. Please stay safe’ _ . 

When I felt the coin burning only moments ago, my heart nearly stopped in my chest. I ran into my room to go read it, not wanting to risk anyone catching me with it. I’ve been worried sick about Draco since the last time he sent a message almost three weeks ago now. I was starting to lose hope. I would say I was becoming paranoid, but one can never be too paranoid at a time like this. My breath hitched in my throat as I read the message, letting what it meant sink in; that Draco is alive, that for the moment, for the time being, he’s alive and okay. The relief it was giving me brought me to the brink of tears. For weeks, I slept with that coin in my hand, gripping onto it firmly, like a lifeline, lest he send a message whilst I was sleeping. My necklace, the coin, and long-sleeved tee-shirt that nicked from him one day when I was leaving the Room of Requirement is all that I have of him now. It still smells like him; the shirt. It smells of the fires from the hearth in our place, slightly of cinnamon and of his cologne. Every time I breathe it in, it warms me a bit, reminding me why it's worth it to be in hiding. I wear it every night, burying my nose into it, pretending that his arms are wrapped protectively around my middle, pulling me closer to his body. 

Just as I go to put it away in my jeans pocket, the coin begins to burn again in my hand, making my eyes go wide as saucers. He’s never answered me so quickly; usually it takes days. I open the palm of my hand to reveal what it said there, worried that something might have happened to him. The words on the coin were simple and brought a genuine smile to my lips: ‘ _ I love you more with every breath’.  _ I shut my eyes and released a sigh, clutching onto the coin. I hear the creek of a door open behind me and I shove it back into my pocket quickly, the warmth of it still lingering in my fingertips. I spin around on my heel to see Ginny standing in the doorway, biting her bottom lip. “Is everything alright?” She asks in a soft voice. I nod, just now noticing the singular tear making its way down my cheek. I wipe it away with the back of my hand and give her a furious nod. “Yeah.” I muster. The youngest Weasley takes a step towards me and wraps her arms around me in a crushing hug so tight that rivals that of her brothers. In the recent weeks, Ginny has been more accepting than most, keeping me company and talking to me. Sometimes, I talk about Draco, on the hardest nights, and she sits and listens and seems genuinely interested. She’s always been like a little sister to me and it’s nice to know that she supports me no matter whom I fall in love with. “I just miss him.” I whisper into her ear, feeling the prickling of unshed tears behind my eyes. “I know.” She says, letting me out of her grasp. 

She offered me a half-smile, which I returned the best I could, remembering that Draco is, in fact, alive and he loves me. Ginny clears her throat before speaking again. “They should be getting back soon. Our mums sent me to get you. They want us to wait in living room so we’re near the front door in case something happens.” I nod, following her out of the room. She hesitates as we reach the doorway, “I’m sure he’s okay though, Malfoy. He's like a blast-ended skrewt, always has been.” I give her a smile along with a small chuckle and she begins to walk again towards where our mothers were waiting for us.

Everyone else left about two hours ago to go and retrieve Harry from his aunt and uncle’s house in Little Whinging. The four of us were the only ones left behind to wait and worry about everyone else. I wanted to go more than anything; I wanted to get out of this house and finally do something that might make something of a difference, but no one would let me. They all say it’s too dangerous for me to leave still, not that I’m saying it wouldn’t be, but everyone’s taking a risk. Everything’s dangerous nowadays, what’s a little more of a risk? 

My mum offers me a worried smile as she stands, her right hand gripping her wand tightly, while the left braces her against the back of the sofa. Mrs. Weasley’s pacing back and forth in long, but quick strides, panic etched on her face. “They should be back already! Why aren’t they back? What if something happened?” She mutters under her breath. I feel myself grow pale as I look over at the clock; they should have been back a half an hour ago, but there’s no one in sight, not a hint of anyone. I look to Ginny who shoots me a look of concern. It wasn’t exactly the comfort I was looking for; it only fueled my paranoia. I swallow hard, biting down on my lip.

I can’t help but think that something went wrong. In world like this, misplaced optimism gets you nowhere. Everyone I care about, save the three people who are standing here with me, are in the direct line of danger, including Draco, and I can’t do anything except wait here, hoping that they’ll still be alive another day. All I do, day after day is worry because there’s nothing else for me to do. My best friends could be dead right now and I can’t do anything to help them, can’t do anything to stop. All I’m allowed to do is stand here and wait for them to come back. I feel so helpless, so powerless when I know I could be doing much more.

 

~~~~~~~~

 

Exactly twenty-seven minutes later, a loud crash nearby broke the heavy silence we’d been engulfed in. Immediately I sprinted out the door, the other three women close behind me as I brandished my wand out. My eyes widened in both relief and panic as they set on the sight in front of me. “Harry?!” I yelled in disbelief, not lowering my wand. There was very much a possibility that it wasn’t actually Harry struggling to stand in front of me, but Hagrid was almost a dead giveaway that it was indeed my best friend. “My patronus is a stag and yours is a mare.” He says breathlessly, his hands up in surrender. I smile at him, blinking away tears of joy. I drop my wand to my side, letting out a sigh just as Harry scoops me up into a bone-crushing hug. “They knew. The Death Eaters. They were waiting for us. It was an ambush.” He yells over my shoulder, still holding onto me. My heart lurches in my chest.  _ Draco _ . Harry’s cheek is sticky with sweat against my neck, his hair damp and matted with mud. He had a small gash on his neck, likely from the crash. “Harry, you have to let go.” I say, giving him a light squeeze before he puts me back down.

Hagrid struggles to stand as Harry’s green eyes dart across the four of us. “Where is everyone?” He says, panic setting in. “You two are the first ones back.” He’s silent for a moment. Molly leads Hagrid inside the Burrow, my mom following close behind, leaving just Harry, Ginny and I. He blinks exactly three times and opens his mouth to speak, but no words came out before a loud popping sound that I’ve come to associate with apparition came from behind me. Harry’s eyes widened and I turned around to see the sight that shocked him so. In front of us, George was covered in blood and was seemingly unconscious. He was being supported fully by Lupin who was struggling to carry the weight. “GEORGE!” Ginny yelled approaching her bloodied brother. “Can someone help me out here?!” Lupin shouted, causing Ginny to wrap George’s other arm around her shoulder and take half of his weight off of Lupin. I run back into the house leaving Harry with the three of them. Panic set in as I run into the kitchen. “Molly! George and Lupin are back and George is hurt! He’s bleeding badly!” 

Without a word, she pushed past me and into the living room where Lupin and Ginny placed George gently down onto the sofa. “Katherine, go get me some blood replenishing potion and pain potion now!” Molly barked as she approached her son. I sprint up the stairs as fast as I can, making a mess as I rummage through the store closet before my shaking fingers wrap around the bottles. I don’t hesitate before running back down the stairs and thrusting the bottles into Molly’s hands, which are now soaked with George's blood. She moves his mouth so that it opens and she pours the first potion down his throat, forcing him to swallow. I press my hands against my cheeks, wiping the sweat off of my face. George’s breathing evens out as the potion takes effect and Molly speaks softly to him, caressing his face as she tries to heal him. It’s then that I notice that his ear is missing, making my stomach drop into my feet.

I turn around and walk back outside quickly, feeling as if I’m suffocating in the room. I stand there, taking in deep breaths of the humid July air, trying to calm myself down, but it doesn’t do much, knowing that everyone else is still out there and in danger. I close my eyes and count my breaths, knowing how it helps me after having nightmares. I just barely got to four before I heard a loud crack, forcing my eyes open and my wand up. Before me, stood Hermione and Kingsley, looking a bit dirty and sweaty, but otherwise alright. Hermione's turned back into her normal form and Harry's clothes lie loose on her body. Kingsley approaches Lupin who’s now standing in the doorway, beckoning him. I look directly into Hermione’s brown eyes, my wand still drawn as I projected my voice. “Where did you send your parents?” I say, wanting to wince at the security question she had picked for herself. She swallows before answering. “Australia. Their names are Monica and Wendell Wilkins.” 

I move to engulf her into a hug, but before I can, she grabs my arm dragging me away from the house. “Hermione what are you doing?!” I yell at her, trying to pull away from her grip.  She’s holding onto my wand arm, making me unable to fight back against her. “Just trust me!” She says in a forceful hushed whisper. How can I trust her, when she’s acting nothing like herself? She could be imperiused or it could be polyjuice, although she did know where her parents are and what their new names are. “What’s your patronus?” I ask, forcing her to stop walking by planting my feet firmly on the ground. “Otter.” She replies simply before walking again, catching me in my surprise. The Burrow becomes smaller and smaller the further we walk, but we’re still on the property, as I haven’t felt us leave the wards yet. Hermione drags me further along as I ask a plethora of questions to her, trying to resist, trying to prove that it isn’t Hermione. She doesn’t seem in her right mind.

“Merlin Katherine! Please just trust me!” She shouts, gaining the frustrated look she gets when she has to explain the same thing to Ron ten times over. I huff, but do as she says, no longer struggling. We walk only a little further before I see it come into view. The speck of light amongst the darkness. I stop dead in my tracks, feeling unable to move from that spot. My face pales and my breath hitches in my throat as Hermione smiles at me. “Mione… Is that…?” I trail off, unable to muster a coherent thought. I see her nod in my peripheral vision, unable to look away from the faraway sight in front of me. “Yeah.” She says simply. She lets go of my arm and gives me a little shove to my back. “Go. I’ll be right here.” She says. I swallow hard and nod. It takes a moment, but I begin to walk, no, run, towards the speck, watching it grow larger. 

As I approach, it takes shape, no longer is it a speck, but the familiar form of a man with white-blond hair. Just barely a man, actually. I’m only a few feet away from him now, my eyes glassy with tears as they lock with his grey ones. I stop walking, stopping to stand directly in front of him. “I can’t get closer than this. I can’t get through the wards.” He says, his voice sullen and downtrodden. His immaculate skin gleams in the brightness of the moon. His face, though beautiful, shows signs of emotional and physical duress. It reminds me of my nightmares, but I shove the thought of them out of my brain as quickly as they appeared. Draco’s glowing eyes, much like mine, give away the lost hours and days without sleep, leaving dark rings below them. 

“You had me sodding terrified, you know that? You haven’t answered me in weeks, you arsehole! I thought you were dead!” My voice is weaker than I wanted it to be, barely getting the words out. “I’m so sorry.” He says, his eyebrows furrowed, his head shaking. I shakily draw up my wand, swallowing back my sobs. “Where did you first kiss me, Draco?” I ask, my voice as shaky as my unsteady hand. He puts his hand up, inches from the invisible barrier as he answers without blinking, without breaking eye contact. “We were working on our presentation for Binns on a patch of grass on the far side of the greenhouses. I thought you rejected me, so I stormed away like a petulant child. You found me later that night while I was sulking in the courtyard. You kissed me and told me you fancied me. You left me standing there like an awestruck idiot.” He says with a chuckle. 

A sob escapes me at the same time as a laugh. I lower my wand, putting it in my holster as I lift my left hand to the barrier, our hands so close, yet not touching. “Can I... can I touch you?” I ask, watching our fingers. He nods, biting his bottom lip. “I can’t go through, but you can come to me.” He says reassuringly. I give him a worried look. I want more than anything than to touch him, but I can’t help but wonder if it’s all a ruse, a trap, that it isn’t really my Draco. He must have caught what I was thinking because answered the question plaguing my mind. “I’m alone; I promise. We’re alone. You know, besides Granger over there.” Draco raises his other hand and gives Hermione a little wave, gesturing her over. I turn around to look at her. She’s still approaching, but she’s only a few feet away from us now. “It’s okay Katherine. He saved my life tonight. I may not like him, but I trust him enough to know that it's really him and he won't harm you.” I look from Hermione to Draco, who’s going a little pink in the face. “You did?” I ask him, a teasing smile playing at my lips. “I suppose.” He says with a shrug, his eyes darting back to where our fingers still reside so close to each other. “You suppose? You took out Rookwood just as he was about to kill me!” She says, shaking her head. “Yeah, well…” He trailed off, his eyes still on our hands. “Don’t let it worry you Hermione. Draco doesn’t like to admit when he’s done nice things.” I say in a mock whisper, as if he couldn’t hear us. She lets out a giggle to which Draco rolls his eyes.

We don’t move for a few moments, just watching each other. It takes everything in my power not to let my hand meet with his. It’s him who breaks the silence. “Katherine. It’s really me. Please believe me.” He says desperately, his voice breaking. I feel my heart trying to pull me towards him, but my feet won’t budge. He waits for me to respond, which I don’t, before he speaks again. “All right. Well, I'll prove it. That necklace you’re wearing used to belong to my mother. I gave it to you on a Saturday in our place in the Room of Requirement. I put it around your neck and then gave you the counterpart to this,” He pauses, reaching into his pocket to pull out the other galleon; the one that matched the one sitting in my pocket. He squeezed it and mine burned hot. I took it out of my right pocket and looked at it. It read:  _ ‘it’s me’.  _ “And then you told me I was brilliant, then straddled me. You then proceeded to bite my lip rather hard, drawing blood, which you thought was hilarious, but you made it up to me rather graciously, if I recall, although I don’t think Granger would appreciate the details, you know, being a prude and all.” Hermione scoffed, stating, “Gross Malfoy.” I laughed, a tear rolling down my cheek. “It’s really you?” I ask meekly, already knowing the answer. “It’s really me.” He says with a nod.

I move my hand the few inches, passing through the wards to meet his, entwining our fingers together. I let out a strangled chuckle as I move closer to him. I feel the rest of my body pass through the wards and Draco’s other hand rests firmly on my hip. I squeeze his hand in mine as I stare into his endlessly beautiful eyes. I place my other hand on the nape of his neck, in his soft blond locks, pulling him down towards me. He obliges and I lean up, my lips meeting with his for the first time in weeks. His hand tightens around my hip, pulling me closer to him as the kiss grows hungrier, needier. My tongue tangles with his, trying to memorize every part of this, every part of him. His taste is just as I remember it; like apples with the subtle twinge of peppermint and it only makes me want to get closer to him. My fingers knot into his hair, but my other hand never leaves his, holding on for dear life, not wanting to let go. I pull him closer to me, my fingernails digging into the back of his neck, not caring if I was hurting him in that moment because I needed to be closer to him. 

I begrudgingly pull away from his lips minutes later, needing air as much as I didn’t want it. He places his forehead against mine as we try to find our breath. “I missed you so fucking much Draco. You’ve no idea.” I muster, my hand falling from his neck to his chest. He shakes his head, lifting our intertwined hands to his lips, gently placing a kiss to mine. I study the flashes of color within his eyes, remember perfectly where each one was. “I missed you more than you could ever know, Love. You’re my everything.” He says, tucking a dark curl behind my ear. His hand lingers on my face before he lets go of my hand and instead pulling me into an embrace. I nuzzle my face into him lightly, taking in the familiar scent I’ve come to know so well mixed in with his sweat. 

I lean into him slightly harder, but I pull away as I feel him wince under my touch. I lift my head to look at him, but his eyes are shut tightly. I frown, my eyebrows furrowed. I shove him back a bit so I can look up at him before placing both of my hands on either side of his clenched jaw. “What did they do to you?” I ask. There was no reply, only a simple shaking of his head. “Draco, look at me.” I whisper. He doesn’t budge or even open an eye. “Draco Malfoy, you look at me right now or I’ll go back through those wards.” I say sternly. He sighed, then reluctantly opened his eyes to meet mine. They sparkled with sadness, with pain. “What did they do to you?” I ask him again. He looks down at the ground and then back up at me. “It’s nothing I can’t handle.” He tries to reassure me. 

I shake my head, letting go of his face and instead reaching to his chest. I put my fingers on the top button of his shirt and undo it, feeling his eyes on me. I undo the next two, before his hand wraps around my wrist. My eyes lock with his and I silently plead for him to let go. He doesn’t move his hand, but he loosens his grip a bit. “Please Draco. Let go.” He withdraws his hand from my wrist, but he looks away from me, towards the ground again. I undo the next few buttons before my breath catches in my throat. I put my hand over my mouth and a sob chokes out. “Draco…” I breathe out, shaking my head. His usually pale and gleaming skin of chest and toned stomach were covered in yellow and purple bruises adorned with a few gashes that were in the process of healing. I run my hand as lightly as I could over the expanse as he shivers and shutters more. My right hand pulls his face so that he’s looking at me again. “Did they do this… because… because of… me?” I ask, swallowing hard. He shook his head. “No, not because of you Katherine.” He paused, sighing. “I didn’t complete my task. I was punished because of it… Although, Bellatrix got a few crucios in as well, but it’s _because_ of you; it’s because I disgraced my family. Trust me. You’re in a lot more danger than I am and that’s what scares me.” His chest heaves as he finishes talking.

I nod, not really knowing what to say or what to do. “Are you alright?” I ask, glancing back down at the mess of injuries. He nods. “Very much so. You’re here.” I smile warmly, but shoot him a look to tell him to cut the bullshit. “I took a pain potion, but it’s beginning to wear off. And before you ask, no you can’t heal it. It’s part of my punishment. It has to heal the muggle way.” I frown, but nod in understanding. I gently place my lips on one of the less bruised areas of his chest before buttoning up his shirt slowly. I run my hand carefully down the shirt once it was all buttoned up, flattening out any wrinkles. “What are they making you do, Draco?” I ask, not sure if I really want to know the answer. He shakes his head. “What I see is worse than what I do. Don’t worry about me. I’m alright.” He says, caressing my cheek with his knuckle. I lean into it, trying more than anything to believe him.

He wraps his arms around my waist and I pull mine around his neck, nuzzling my face into his collarbone as he does my neck. It’s peaceful in that moment, making me feel serene, as if we were back at Hogwarts in our place in front of the hearth. I let out an audible hum of relief into his skin, taking in all that I can from him. I’ve never felt as at peace as I do in this moment with Draco holding me close to him, his warmth protecting me from any harm. Just for a second, I can forget about the war, about Voldemort, horcruxes, the prophecy, Bellatrix, the Snatchers that are hunting me, the night on the Astronomy Tower, my father’s death, my mother’s grief, Draco’s injuries, and the fact that I’m in hiding and instead focus on us, on  _ him _ . I don’t think I’ve ever loved him more than in this moment. It made me realize how much I don’t want to lose him again.

He pulls away a little bit and places a chaste kiss on my lips. “Please don’t leave me, Draco.” I whisper, fisting his shirt to pull him back towards me. “I don’t want to, Katherine, believe me.” He says, his lips latching onto my neck, nipping and pulling at the skin. I release a soft moan, moving my neck to give him better access. “T-then d-d-don’t.” I manage before succumbing to another moan. His tongue trails up my neck to the sensitive spot behind my ear. He lets out a hot breath onto it, teasing me, before attaching his lips to the skin there. “F-fuck Draco.” I say. “I-I’m trying to have a c-c-conversation.” I barely say before letting out a breathy sort of sound. I feel him smirk into me as I revel in the sensation. He once more trails his tongue, bringing it to the base of my throat, nipping at it hungrily. “Draco please.” I say, causing him to finally stop teasing me. He stands with a pleased smirk across his delectable lips that leaves me with a contradictory feeling about whether to slap him or rip his clothes off right here. I settle for neither of the above and instead give him my best pair of pleading eyes. 

“Stay with me.” I say, taking his hand and bringing it to my lips, pressing a kiss into his palm before taking it in mine. “I can’t. You know I can’t. I’m not even allowed to go past the wards.” He raked his free hand through his white blond hair in frustration. “I’ll talk to Molly and Arthur. I’ll talk to Mad-Eye, I’ll talk to Kingsley. I’ll have them change the wards, so you can come in. I don’t want you going back there. I want you right here, next to me. I want you safe.” I say, squeezing his hand. I lift my free one to trace his jawline, watching his meticulous stare. “I want that more than anything, but what are the chances they’ll let me? They don't like me, in fact they hate me. I’m a Death Eater, remember?” He reminds me, lifting his left arm to reference his Mark, which is covered by long sleeves, even in the July heat. I stop my tracing and just leave my hand on him. I feel him lean into my touch as he shuts his eyes frustratingly. My heart aches for him, seeing the hurt, the pain in every touch. “I’ll say it a million times if that’s what it takes to sink in, but you’re no Death Eater, Draco Malfoy. If you were, you wouldn’t be here, you wouldn’t have saved Hermione, you would have killed Dumbledore that night on the Astronomy Tower, there wouldn’t be so much pain in your eyes, you wouldn’t love me. You’re many things, but a Death Eater? No, never.” I say, giving him my best attempt at a weak smile. He pulls me in closer to him in a protective grip.

I don’t know how long we stand there like that, but however long it was, it wasn’t enough. It’s Draco who finally breaks the silence. “I have to go.” He says reluctantly, his cheek pressed against mine. I can feel his breath on my ear, his few day stubble on my skin and I want more than anything not to let go. “Please don’t.” I beg, gripping him tighter as I feel his arms loosen around me. “You know I can’t stay.” He pauses, backing away a few inches to look me in the eye. I feel as if a piece of my heart is being ripped away from me. I blink and several tears fall down my face. He wipes them away with his hand, leaving it there for a moment before more tears start to fall. “I promise I’ll come back. I promise.” He says, squeezing my fingers in his before letting go.

Just as he does, I fist his shirt and pull him down towards me so forcefully that he stumbles before finding his balance again. I lean into him in a bruising kiss, my one hand never leaving his shirt, while the other moved up onto his jaw, trying to feel every part of him. His hands find my hair pulling me in closer to him as his fingers wrap around my curls. My tears soak both our faces as I desperately plead with him to stay with me. I want more than anything for this kiss never to end, to stay in this moment with him forever. I try to memorize the way he touches me, the way he holds me, the way his fingers feel tangled in my hair, the way his lips feel while trying to claim mine, the intoxicating taste on his tongue that always leaves me wanting more, the line of his jaw against my fingertips, the warmth of his skin against mine. 

As he pulls away, my hand slides off of his jaw and to my side. “Give me your hand.” he says breathlessly, still panting. I don’t open my eyes, but I move my hand up for him to take. Instead of feeling his hand in mine, I feel him place something cool and metal into my palm before he closes my hand, bringing it up to his lips. I let my eyes flutter open and I pull my hand back down. His lips are swollen from our kiss and his tongue darts across them quickly. I open my hand to reveal his Malfoy signet ring, glittering under the moonlight. I look up into his silver eyes, trying to find reason in them. “What’s this?” I ask him, looking back down at the ring in my palm. “Insurance.” He says, closing my palm again. “Draco, I can’t–” I start but he cuts me off with a gentle chaste kiss. “Yes you can.” He says, giving me some remnants of a smile. “I want you to have it. Take it as a reminder, as insurance that I’ll always come back for you, Love.” I nod, unable to speak. 

Draco gives me one more gentle kiss, his hand tracing circles on my lower back lightly as he does. “I love you.” He says, brushing his lips against mine before backing away slightly. He gives me a small push through the barrier, knowing very well that he can’t follow me through it. Tears blur my vision of him as I reach my hand up only an inch from the barrier, feeling the magic of the wards tickle my skin. He lifts his as close as he can without being thrown backwards and offers me the beautiful smile that I love so much. “I love you too.” I say, feeling a sob rise in my throat. He nods to me, closing his eyes and letting out a long breath before moving his hand away from mine. "Stay safe." I whisper. He nods, still looking into my eyes. “I promise.” He says simply, before reaching down to grab his broom and mounting it. He looks back at me one last time before kicking off and flying away into the night sky, leaving me standing there with Hermione next to me, the ring clenched in my fist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the chapter:)
> 
> As always, I love hearing feedback from my readers so let me know what you thought! Remember to leave comments and kudos!
> 
> -Em


	29. Chapter Twenty-Nine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here I am again; sorry for it being a whole three weeks since the last chapter.
> 
> A glimpse into Draco's life at Malfoy Manor since Dumbledore's death. Draco becomes frustrated with his situation and begins to lose patience, wanting more than anything to just take his mother and flee to Katherine. 
> 
> Also a BIG thank you to my beta, @/closer-to-monkey on Tumblr!
> 
> Draco's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter should have been done over a week ago, my apologies for the delay; I've been super busy lately.
> 
> I'll hopefully have another chapter soon, but for now, here's this one
> 
> Don't forget to follow my Tumblr for updates and don't hesitate to reach out! @/dilemma-ed
> 
> Enjoy!
> 
> -Em:)

I take one last look back at Katherine as I mount my broom, wanting to fall apart at the broken look in her beautiful cinnamon eyes. It’s killing me to leave her, to be ripped away from her once more. She has tears running down her face, gleaming under the moonlight. She looks so perfect, so beautiful, even now. Her swollen bottom lip quivers as her hand clutches my signet ring, my promise to her, with all her might. Granger walks up next to her, taking her hand in support, but not saying anything. I glance at her and she gives me a nod of acknowledgment, of silent understanding as I swallow back a sob, not wanting to lose my composure. I don’t quite understand why she’s helping me. As far as I know, she hates me and rightfully so. Though, I guess it doesn’t really have to do with me; it has to do with Katherine.

It took everything I had to push her through the wards, to separate myself from her. It made it the slightest bit easier to leave, to not run back and pull her into my arms and hold her forever. Knowing that if I don’t look away now, I might never be able to go, I turn back around and lick my lips, still tingling from being on hers. I silently promise myself that I will make it back here, that I find my way back to her soon, ignoring the sinking feeling in my chest. I release a shaky breath and kick off from the ground, hovering for a second or two before taking off into the dark sky.

My hands grip my broom tightly as I fly further and further away from her. My yearns to go back, to fall into her arms and let her know just how bad it really is, but I’d never say. I don’t want her to worry about me; it won’t do any good. She’ll just worry herself sick. I just want her to be safe, no matter what happens to me.  Seeing her tonight, knowing that she’s okay, that she hasn’t a scratch, means more to me than anything else. I’m alive and she’s okay and that’s good enough for now. Someday soon, I’ll leave my home, though it doesn’t feel much like a home anymore, and I’ll find her and we’ll run away together, someplace far, far away from the war and all of its destruction so we can just be. I realize that that will never happen, that’s it’s unrealistic, but it’s a hope. I know even if and when I leave, she won’t run away with me to some remote island; she’ll want to fight because that’s her. Katherine and her sodding Gryffindor bleeding heart. She’s too damn noble. It’s stupid at most times, but I still admire it; it’s one of the things I love about her. 

I close my eyes for a moment and relish in the way the humid wind feels on my face. When I open them again, I can see the shadow of the Manor in the distance out in front of me. Just seeing it makes me feel nauseous nowadays. It’s become such a  horrid place in the past year or so. It’s sad; it used to be my home and now it’s the place I live, the place I despise. I can hardly stand to be there anymore; if I didn’t know how to control myself, I would have been long gone. My mother’s the only thing keeping me these days; she’s the only reason why I stay.

I lower myself towards the ground some ways away, knowing that I have to make my story look convincing before I go back into my personal hell. Everyone should have been back a while ago, making me look even more suspicious coming in late, alone, and alive. My Aunt Bella already doesn’t trust me and neither does my dear father. The former due to my ‘stunt’ on the Astronomy Tower, trying to protect Katherine, while the latter thinks that after years of my mother’s coddling, I’m too soft, too cowardly. It was a hypocrisy if I’ve ever heard one. 

When I was waiting for Katherine, I had to come up with a plan quickly, not exactly planning to go out of my way tonight, but glad that I did. I decided to say that I was knocked off my broom and fell unconscious, only to wake up alone in a field somewhere not too far off Wiltshire. It was simple enough and didn’t sound too suspicious, maybe only to my parents who know how good a flyer I am. Even if it did; it’s not like anyone would be able to penetrate the fortress of my mind. Even now, after everything, I’m still trying to build up the skill of occlumency, despite excelling at it, so there was absolutely no chance that anyone could break through. I can’t put Katherine at risk like that; I have to be able to close off my mind completely.

When my feet touch the ground, I sigh, knowing what I have to do now. Usually, when someone falls off of a broom, they get a few scraps and bruises, but unfortunately, they also get quite dirty. So, much to my dismay, I’ve come to terms with the idea of literally rolling in mud, as much as it pains me to do it. If anyone was here to see this, including Katherine, I’d never hear the end. If anyone knows how much I utterly hate being dirty, it’s her. We went flying once, a long while ago, and it began to rain. When we crashed down onto the Quidditch Pitch and began to run towards the castle, I slipped and fell flat on my face. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen her laugh so hard. After a long and hard laughing fit, she reached out her hand to take, but being the Slytherin I am, I pulled her down with me, landing on top of me in the dirt. We wound up entangled together in a mess of dirt, soggy clothing and bruised lips before we pulled ourselves back into the castle for what I would call the best shower I’d ever had.

Once I thoroughly defiled my clothing and skin with mud and gave myself a few scrapes that were surely bleeding, I began to walk towards the eerie glow of the Manor. It was a long and silent walk, with every step I took, the more I felt the desire to turn back. I knew I couldn’t so I suppressed the feeling and trudged on, willing myself to focus on my end goal. I’m doing this so that my mother and Katherine can be safe, so that we could all maybe be happy someday. Of course, in my mind, I know that that could never be, that it could never be so simple and who’s to say that Voldemort will even lose the war. It’s getting darker and darker with each day, the Manor becoming less like a home and more like a prison. I might not ever escape. I try not to let that thought plague me, telling myself that I will, for Katherine’s sake if not mine. 

I put on my best scowl as I lifted my hand to the serpentine knocker, striking it three times before returning my arm limply to my side. I take a deep breath as the door creaks open, hoping with everything in me that it’s not my father who answers the door. Before I can even see who’s in front of me, a pair of arms wrap tightly around my middle, causing me to wince at the pain caused by my current injuries. I drop my broom in surprise, hearing it clatter on the stone next to me. “Draco!” She sobs. My eyes widen at the sudden affection; it wasn’t something that was a common affair around here, especially not nowadays. There’s no guessing as to who the person clutching to me so desperately is, even if I didn’t know at first touch, the nostalgic scent of elegant perfume and flash of blonde hair gave it away instantly. I tentatively wrap my arms around the figure in front of me, taking in her calming scent. It was rare that my mother gave me anything more than a small hug or a polite kiss on the cheek, so I move my thumb back and forth on her back, trying to soothe her, I could feel her trembling. It was rare that my mother lost her perfect pureblood restraint. 

She pulled away and I let my arms drop to my sides. I look down to see her, looking as immaculately elegant as ever, though her makeup slightly smudged with tears. She puts her perfectly manicured hands on either side of my face, forcing me to lean down slightly. “Darling, I’m so glad you’re okay. I thought you had died on me.” She said breathlessly, sounding as if she were choking back another sob. “Now, now, Mother. I’m quite alright. As if you could get rid of me so easily.” I say, trying to tease her, but not quite succeeding.

As she goes to open her mouth to reply to me, a shrill voice calls from not too far away from the Entry Hall, causing me to flinch, although not visibly. “Cissy, who’s at the door?” My horrid aunt hisses. Before my mother had the opportunity to answer, a pale and manicured, but calloused hand grasps the door, yanking it open fully to reveal the disheveled figure of Aunt Bella. “Ah,” She says, her lip quirking up into a wicked smirk, one eyebrow raised slightly above the other. “So, the Prodigal Son returns?” She takes a step forward, her high heel clicking against the marble floor of the Entry Hall. “I deeply apologize for my tardiness, Auntie dear. You see, I was knocked off my broom by a stunner when we were on the retreat. I only regained consciousness not too long ago and found my way back here immediately.” I drawl, keeping my posture as straight as possible, wanting to look confident in my lie. Bellatrix stares at me with scrutiny, a look of disdain flashing in her eyes. “I see. I was beginning to think that you had lost your way, or perhaps had gone to go and fuck your blood traitor filth.” She says harshly, her tone innocent, but her words venomous. I clench my jaw and will myself to take a sharp inhale to prevent myself from doing anything rash. “I don’t believe I know what you’re referring to.” I say flatly, walking a few steps away from her to pick my broom up from off the ground. My mother’s eyes remain on me, a kind, but not soft stare. Though I’ve figured that Aunt Bella had spoken to her about my ‘indiscretion’ with Katherine, she’s never spoken of such. 

Bellatrix pushes past my mother, fisting my shirt and drawing her wand to my neck roughly. I feel my airway constrict as her crazed eyes zone in on me. I try to take a breath, but I feel myself begin to get light-headed. “You’re lucky I actually care about Cissy otherwise I would have told the Dark Lord and thrown you at his feet to do whatever he pleased.” She hissed in a whisper as I gasped and choked for air, her eyes filled with malignance. “Of course, when I do find that little  _ bitch _ of yours, I fully intend to make her suffer in the most horrible and painful ways possible. When I’m done with her, her father’s condition will be something to hope for.” She trails off as I gag, trying to force myself to breathe. “Don’t worry, you’ll be there to watch every second, Nephew dear.” She let go of the spell with a laugh, a smirk playing at her lips as she watched me grab at my throat, struggling to catch my breath. My chest heaves in and out, contracting agonizingly, leaving me wincing in pain. The pain potion I took before I left has now completely worn off, the pain of my injuries coming back full force. At the mention of Katherine, my fist clenches so tightly that the knuckles turn white, my fingernails digging into the skin of my palm. It takes all of the carefully constructed self-control I have not to wrap my hands around her throat as tight as I can until she finally stops struggling, her face purple from lack of oxygen. So long as I live, she’ll never touch Katherine, never go near her, never breathe the same air as her. 

My eyes move from Aunt Bella to my mother, whose eyes are filled with terrified tears. “Do come in, Draco.” She says, changing the subject as she moves aside to allow me entrance into the Manor. She wipes her eyes quickly and I give her a nod as if to tell her ‘I’m okay’. I enter the shell of the place that used to be my home, my footsteps echoing. I can feel the dark magic invading my bones, the vile taste of it on my tongue. My mother closes the door behind me, making a rather loud slamming sound before returning to my side. “Where is our most esteemed Lord tonight?” I say, trying to keep myself from the natural reaction of rolling my eyes. She took two steps toward me, narrowing her eyes. “Down in the dungeons; dealing with the incompetence of a prisoner.” She says, her voice laced with poison. I offer a curt nod, “I see.” Aunt Bella was still seething, her eyes piercing me like daggers, but I ignore it, turning to address my mother, but before I could, Bellatrix continues. “I would expect to be punished tomorrow, as he’ll be a while yet.” I give a slight nod and a hateful glare for good measure. “If you don’t mind Mother, I’m going to have a shower and retire to bed. I’m afraid this mission has exhausted me quite a bit.” I say, giving her a polite kiss on the cheek before walking toward the ornate staircase. “Of course, love.” She said, causing Bellatrix to release a huffing noise of disapproval. I keep walking, not looking back at either of them as I retreat up the stairs to my bedroom. 

I close my bedroom door behind me, casting both locking and silencing charms immediately, not risking anything for even a single second. One can never be too careful in a house filled with Death Eaters, in a house where  _ He _ lives. I let out a sigh, raking my hand through my hair, already tousled from flying as well as Katherine’s vice-like grip on it. I shut my eyes, trying to remember how it felt to have her soft pink lips pressed up against mine, her hands buried in my hair, my hands on the small of her back, keeping her close against my body. My tongue darts out to lick my lip, trying to taste the sweet remnants of her. I would give anything to be with her right now, to go to her and never leave. I imagine the sad, doe-like look in her eyes when I left her standing there. I swallow hard, knowing that I had to leave her, even if neither of us wanted to be parted.

I open my eyes and reach into my pocket, my hand clasping around and pulling out the lone object: the galleon, the only connection I have to her, to my sanity. I know that if I don’t let her know  _ something _ , then she’ll be worried to the point of no sleep. I can’t do that to her. I grip it tightly in my hand, putting careful thought into what I want to say to her. After a few moments, I feel it grow hot under my fingers, confirming that my message went through. I open it up in my palm to reveal what’s written on it: ‘ _ I’m sorry that I had to leave. I love you and I promise’ _ . I push the coin back into my pocket, pushing hair out of my eyes one more time before walking into the ensuite to rid myself of the dirt caked on my body and suppress the pain I’m feeling with a potion.

 

~~~~~~~~

 

I’m woken abruptly by an insistent rapping at my door. I groan, rolling over, willing it to go away. Much to my dismay, it persists, and, if anything, becomes louder. I open my eyes, squinting in the darkness at my watch, indicating that I’d only been asleep for a half an hour. I sit up slowly, rubbing the exhaustion out of my eyes. I groggily swing my legs over the side of my bed, reaching for my wand from under my pillow as I stand. I approach the door, silently undoing the locking charm and opening it hesitantly. Before I can even register what’s happening, I’m pinned against the wall, a wand pressed against my throat. I blink a few times, trying to get the room to come into focus. I try to wriggle my wand hand free, but find my efforts useless. 

I struggle against the firm hand on my shoulder and look down slightly to see Snape glaring up at me. I release a sigh of relief, the tension in my shoulders slackening. He kicks the door shut and lets go of his firm grip on me, shoving me so that I fall back onto the bed. Snape flicks his wand over his shoulder, locking the door once more. He crosses his arms over his chest and stares at me, his jaw clenched. “Are you really that thick?” He asks plainly, shaking his head. It was an expression I’ve seen many times over the years, one he uses often when disciplining students. “What are you on about now?” I ask, rubbing the five o’clock shadow on my face lazily. He takes a step closer, his expression morphing into something much more intimidating. “You’re going to play dumb with me now?” I gave him no reply, simply a raise of my eyebrows. This seemed to further agitate him, but I honestly couldn’t care. He woke me up and it was unlikely I’d be able to fall back asleep in the foreseeable future. 

“Alright. So you didn’t sneak off during the ambush with Miss Granger? You didn’t follow her under a disillusionment charm to an Order safehouse where you met up with Miss Creswell and exchanged in rather… intimate activity?” He drawls his voice, his fingers tapping expectantly on his arm. I feel the blush creep up my cheeks and my eyes bulge, blinking exactly five times before swallowing hard. I thought I’d been careful, that no one saw me, us. I clear my throat, pulling on an emotionless face, hiding my surprise. I open my mouth to speak, preparing my usual flippant tone, but Snape cuts me off before I even have a chance to respond. “And don’t bullshit me, Draco. I don’t want to hear all that ignorance rubbish you feed Bellatrix. I am your strongest ally, whether you choose realize it or not.” His eyes narrowed at me, imploring me to tell him everything.

I sigh deeply, letting the facade fall. I shake my head as I look down at my hands in my lap, clenching and unclenching my fist. “Yes. I saw her…” I trailed off, a thought occurring to me. “Did you follow me?” I ask, my eyebrows furrowing, trying to keep my immediate anger subsided. “I did. I left before you did however and made it back at the appropriate time. I only saw enough to know what you were doing. But tell me Draco, why would you try to jeopardize everything, everything you’ve been trying to protect? What if it wasn’t me who saw you, me who followed you? What if it were Bellatrix, Rodolphus, or, Merlin forbid, your father? You would have been found out and everything you have been working towards protecting would be for naught!” He says, his voice even. 

Unable to sit still, I stand up, pacing back and forth across my room, raking my hand through my hair. “DON’T YOU THINK I DON’T KNOW THAT? I  _ knew  _ what was at stake; I knew it was dangerous but I had to. I  _ had _ to see her. I needed to know that she was okay. This isn’t sodding fair! This,” I pull the coin out of my pocket and show it to him. “Piece of shit, isn’t enough!” I yell, hurling it at the wall. I hear it clatter to the floor. Snape looks at me, not looking the least bit ruffled. “Draco–” He tried to reason, but I cut him off immediately. “I can’t keep doing this anymore! I can’t stay here anymore! I can’t stay away from her! She cried and begged me to stay with her, but I left her anyway even though it physically pained me to walk away! I don’t know how many more beatings, lashing and torture sessions I can endure before I finally lose what’s left of my mind! I’m living off of pain potions and ten word messages on a coin! He’s expecting more and more from me and I can’t do it! I can’t keep torturing innocents like you can, Severus. The look in their eyes make me want to vomit! The fear in them repulses me! I see her in every bloody one! So just tell me when and I’ll take my mother and walk out of that door straight to Katherine because I can’t do this anymore!” I monologue, stopping my pacing and instead wrapping my arms around my abdomen lightly as I try to shake the queasy feeling that’s overcoming me.

I try to catch my breath, my chest heaving once more. Snape sighed, but didn’t give away any emotions. “Draco, I know this is frustrating, but you must have patience–” I feel my cheeks burn hot with ire as I take a step towards him. “Patience? You’ve got to be joking–” He put up his hand and spoke over me, making me feel like a child being scolded. “Yes, patience. I need you trust that I’ll get you and your mother out of here. As for Miss Creswell, I’m sure she’s being kept safe, as long as she’s doing as the Order tells her to. For now, the coin is the best you can do, but I have hope that soon you’ll be reunited. We’ve already talked about how to deal with the innocents; you just can’t look at them like that, you can’t. It will break you, Draco. You need to control your emotions and try to keep your head down. As for the beatings and torturing, I can’t do anything about Bella and you know it, but the Dark Lord… may be… negotiable…” I nod falling back to sit on the bed again, letting out a huff of breath. “I understand how difficult this is for you. You will get out of here; I took the Vow to protect you and I will fulfill it.” He says, his voice as reassuring as Snape’s voice could be. I clench my eyes shut, pressing the heels of my hands into them forcefully.

I sit like that for a few minutes, just focusing on breathing until I feel a hand on my shoulder. I remove my hands from my eyes and open them to see Snape standing over me his hand out, holding my galleon, my connection to Katherine, in his hand. I give him a curt nod as I take it, feeling an undercurrent of warmth radiating from it. I look down at it to see a message, soothing my anger slightly. ‘ _ I understand. We’ll be together again soon. Please stay safe. My heart lies with you’.  _ I release a sigh, the ghost of a smile on my lips. I look back up at Snape as he turned to leave. As his hand touched the door handle, I spoke. “I know you’re doing the best you can, Severus. I don’t blame you for my anger, my frustration. I’m angry at the situation, at the war, the circumstance.” I say. He doesn’t turn around, but replies simply. “I understand Draco. Goodnight.” And with a flip of his cape, he was gone, leaving me alone once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More to come from Draco soon, giving more of a glimpse into what he's going through and possibly more from Katherine in the next chapter
> 
> Next chapter should be up sometime in the near future, hopefully within a week or two, but it all depends.
> 
> As always, don't hesitate to contact me, comment or leave kudos! I love hearing feedback from my readers:)


	30. Chapter Thirty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco faces punishment for his failings and disappointments regarding the mission to ambush the Order. Voldemort doesn't quite buy the lie Draco tries to sell, attempting to break the barrier into his mind to reveal what secrets he keeps beyond the walls. 
> 
>  
> 
> Draco's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hellooo it's been a while; sorry for the long wait on this chapter. It took me a bit to get started and once I did I actually wrote quite quickly. 
> 
> Feel free to contact me on my tumblr dilemma-ed (followbacks on dil-emma-ed) for updates, previews of upcoming works or chapters, etc or even to talk, comment, criticize, praise, discuss, suggest, or just to share your opinion.
> 
> A BIG thank you to my lovely beta closer-to-monkey
> 
> Enjoy:)
> 
> -Em

I was awoken out of my fitful slumber by a careful knock at the door. I knew who it was before I even heard the creak of the door opening. Only one person in this horrid house can knock so delicately. I shift over, pulling the comforter over my shoulders as I feel the bed dip down on my left side. My mother’s hand finds my hair, running her fingers soothingly through the locks like she used to when I was a child. “Draco,” She said, her voice slightly strained, despite it’s soft tone. I move ever so slightly, groaning at the soreness of my wounds.

I blink my eyes open to see my mother sitting above me, her posture stiff. She was already dressed in her day clothes, her hair done in an immaculate updo, which didn’t surprise me much, as she never leaves her chambers without looking ‘proper’, as every pureblood wife should. Despite her gentle ministrations, her face seemed to reflect tension. Her jaw was clenched slightly, her hand shaking in my hair. Her eyes were glassy and reflected fear in them, her lips pressed into a firm line, so as to keep them from quivering. I sit up immediately, furrowing my eyebrows with concern. “Mother?” I ask, my heart suddenly beating quickly. “What is it?” She closes her eyes and shakes her head, letting out a low breath. She brings her eyes to meet mine, the watery blue seeming sadder than they were before she looked away. “He’s sent me to call for you.” She bit her bottom lip, carefully, so as not to smudge her lipstick. I breathed out a sigh, hanging my head as I shut my eyes tight. “ _ Fuck _ .” I grit harshly through my teeth. “ _ Language,  _ Draco.” She says sternly. I lift my head and let out a sickening chuckle. “Our all and mighty Dark Lord wants to torture and interrogate me and my sodding  _ language _ is what you’re worried about right now? Perspective, Mother.” I remind. She swallows hard, nodding furiously. “Of course.”

My mother then places a careful hand on my cheek, caressing it in a gentle way with her thumb before pulling it away abruptly. “We best not keep him waiting.” She whispers, blinking tears away. She stands up, straightening her skirt and brushing off imaginary dirt as she let out a breath she’d been holding in. I nod, rising to my feet as well just as she approaches the door. I flourish my wand and with a silent  _ accio _ , my clothing floats to me from my wardrobe, landing on the bed. As I begin to button my black oxford shirt, my mother turns back around toward me, her eyes filled to the brim with pain and sympathy as she takes in my damaged state. She stares at me for a moment, at the scars and healing bruises on chest. “He’s in the drawing room waiting for you.” She says. I nod, gulping back any sense of seeming shaken. She finally forces herself out the door, closing it shut with a click. I wave my wand, muttering a near-silent, “ _ Colloportus. _ ” before finishing buttoning my shirt. 

As I finish getting dressed, I can feel the fear become more prominent in my stomach, taking up residence and gnawing away at what little strength I have left in me. I choke back a pain potion, trying to force my pain to subside, even a little bit. I will myself to peer into my reflection in the mirror, at the ghost of myself that appears in it. I can hardly stand to look at myself; from my skin, now greyish in hue, to the strange hollowness of my cheeks to the dark circles that have taken up a permanent residence under my eyes to the now dull sheen of my platinum blond hair. It makes me sick just seeing it. I don’t dare to think about the scars that I bear under my clothing. 

I pick up the pair of striped pyjama pants that I’d discarded on the floor, reaching into the pocket until finding the object which I seek: the galleon. I feel the coolness of the metal in my palm, disappointing the sliver of hope for a message that I had been holding onto. I encase the glimmering coin in my hand, my fingers wrapped tightly around it as I bring my fist to my lips, pressing it against them as I focus on a message to send. Once I feel it warm up in my hand, I open my palm to reveal the delicate script. “ _ I am yours for all eternity. I love you; I’m alive. _ ” I stand there like that for a moment expectantly, after realizing that indeed nothing was going to happen, I begrudgingly put the galleon back in my pocket. I swallow hard, trying to prepare myself for what was to come before opening the door with a swift  _ alohomora _ , knowing better than to keep the homicidal psychopath waiting for me downstairs. 

I shut my eyes and let out an uneasy breath as I approach the drawing room. I can feel the cling of dark magic coating my tongue, attacking it, as I near the doorway. I freeze as I see the cloaked, serpentine-like figure standing by the window, looking out, with his arms folded across his chest in an aristocratic manner. His long, bony fingers were rapping against his bicep impatiently, the reflection of his disdain present on the pane of the window. I look down sharply as my eyes meet his red, snake-like ones through the glass. “Ah, Draco. How… nice of you to join us.” He says, turning around to face me, his red eyes piercing through my body like knives. 

There’s a pang in my chest at the mention of the word ‘us’, causing me to look around the room, barely holding back a frantic look in my eyes as I pray to Merlin that he didn’t find her. I almost let out a breath of relief upon seeing a hunched figure with white-blond hair in the back of the room, leaning against the bookshelf. My father looked up from over his tumbler of Firewhiskey at me, his eyes worn, but still hard. He swallowed back half the glass, not allowing himself to be fazed by my presence. His appearance was haggard; his hair, though still perfectly combed and pulled back, looked dull and thin, he wore a grey stubble, aging him ten years, and his hand was visibly shaking, even from across the room. 

My mother stood properly next to him, her posture too rigid to be natural. Her lips were pressed into a thin line to stop her bottom one from quivering. Her eyes already looked as if they were holding back tears. I wanted to shoot her a reassuring look, let her know that I will be okay, but both my father and Voldemort’s stares were too scrutinizing for one or even both of them not to notice. Though she played the part of a pureblood wife well, I could see straight through the facade, into the shattered, but strong woman underneath. She was terrified.

For a second, I became too focused on my parents to notice the crazed woman with a unhinged euphoric look in her eyes. My Aunt Bella had a smirk plastered across her face primed with arrogance that could rival mine on a bad day, or so Katherine says anyway. Bellatrix’s wild curls spilled over her shoulders and came to cover her right eye slightly. I could feel the hatred in her glare, the sheer amusement she was getting from what was about to happen. I could see that my mother’s fear began by looking in her sister’s eyes; whenever Bella got that look, it was almost certain that someone was about to be tortured into insanity.

My eyes flick back to face Voldemort, who’s slowly approaching me with each echoing step, twirling his wand in his fingers intimidatingly. I feel my heartbeat quicken as he nears me, but on the outside my face is stone cold. He stops about a foot in front of me, staring down expectantly. “My lord?” I say, bowing my head slightly to him. “You disappointed me greatly last night, Draco.” He says, circling around me. “I’m deeply sorry, my lord. I did not intend to disappoint you.” I reply, shaking my head profusely. The Dark Lord rolls his eyes and Bellatrix lets out a snort from the other side of the room. “I most certainly hope not.” He pauses, glancing around the room. 

“Though, not only were you tardy and missed the meeting to discuss our next plans of action, but you were stupid enough to get knocked off your broom. I can’t seem to comprehend how one of my best flyers fell off his broom like that of an amateur. I can’t remember this ever happening before; I am greatly disappointed in you. You lost sight of Potter’s Mudblood and she got away with all the others. You actually missed your target and hit one of our own, Rookwood, who was captured by the Order of the Phoenix. You’re a disappointment, Draco.” He says, shaking his head in scolding. I took a breath, trying to steady myself, erasing any trace of fear. “My sincerest apologies, my lord. I am prepared to receive whatever punishment you see fit of my actions. I live to serve you.” The lies spew out of my mouth, tasting bitter on my tongue as I manage to keep a straight face. 

When Voldemort stops circling me, he has a small, toothless smirk on his face that gives me an uneasy feeling in my stomach. He holds up his left hand and gestures for the other occupants of the room to move closer to where he was towering over me. My father, mother and aunt all take a few steps forward, my mother clinging desperately to my father’s arm. My father has an expressionless look on his face. If anything, his eyes, the color so similar to that of my own, express the slightest tinge of disappointment, or perhaps pity. My aunt, however, looked absolutely beside herself with enthusiasm. “May I have a go at him, my lord?” She asks, taking a step closer to me. “Maybe later, Bella, but for right now, he’s mine to punish.” Voldemort says, taking a step away from me, so that I could no longer feel his thick, hot breath on my face. It was all I could do not to recoil away in disgust. 

I locked eyes with him as he backed another step away, raising his wand so that it was aimed at my chest, uttering the word I am so sick of hearing, “ _ Crucio _ .” He sneered. I barely heard him finish speaking the incantation before I felt the unfortunately familiar sensation burn up every inch of my body, as if my organs, as if my blood, were on fire, boiling me alive from the inside. My knees begin to crumple where I stand as I bite down on my lip hard to prevent myself from appearing weak by screaming. I must have cut a hole in it with my teeth, as I feel the metallic taste on blood on my tongue, sliding down the back of my throat as I choke back a sob. I learned long ago that screaming just makes it all the worse. From underneath me, my feet felt as if they were breaking, as if I were going to sink into the ground, the bones crushed into a fine powder. 

Just as I was about to give into a scream, I feel the curse stop, allowing me to release the breath I had been holding since it began. I open my eyes only for a moment to see my mother, a single tear streaming down her immaculate face. I want to tell her that I’m going to be okay, but if I wasn’t, to make sure that she lives and that Katherine lives. Just as our eyes lock from across the room, I feel another surge of the curse invade my body, catching me off guard this time. I fall to my knees, the caps of them breaking against the marble floor with a deafening crack. I let out a small whimper, curling in over my abdomen as I hold back a cry for help, suppressing it down inside me as the pain increased, making me feel as if my brain were about to implode. It was then that I realize that he was not only trying to punish me, torture me, he was trying to weaken my defenses to get into my head, to see what I’ve been hiding from him. 

I resist the feeling of his pounding on the walls of my mind, focusing on it as the pain of my bones breaking over and over again threaten my sanity, my focus. I know I can’t let him in, let him find out about her, about me. I close my eyes tightly and breathe short shallow breaths through my teeth, clenching my jaw so tightly that it feels as if it’s on the verge cracking into two, breaking my teeth down with it. I resist and resist, trying to keep him out as he hammers on the walls, seeking to break the dam within. 

The curse breaks off, but not even long enough for me to release the breath I didn’t know I was holding before it starts up again, stronger than before, but different. The pain doesn’t subside by any means, but it moves, colonizing in my lungs. They feel as if they’re burning, as if with every breath, razor blades are piercing into them, making it more and more difficult to find breath. I can feel myself begin to become lightheaded at the same time as the pounding in my brain continues. I let out a loud cry as my body falls forward, my head smacking against the cold floor. I feel the warmth of blood trickle down my scalp onto my neck as I try to contain my shuddering.

The curse wracks pain throughout my body, forcing its way into my bones burrowing itself deep into the marrow until it’s all I can do not to scream at the top of my lungs in agony, to let him into my mind just so it will stop. I try to take my mind off the pain, focusing myself on the reasons why I can’t give out, why I can’t just let go and let him in, let myself just fall apart and fade away. I’m doing this for my mother; I’m doing it for Katherine. I have to protect them at all costs, no matter what I must endure to do so. I have to get back to her; I need to. I made her a promise, which I intend to keep. I will find my way back to her; I will try to protect her at all costs, to protect our future, if we even have one. As the pain begins to invade my chest, I’m no longer so sure I’ll live to make it back to her. 

The immediate pain vacates my body, leaving behind agony almost as horrific as the initial. My abdomen shakes as I suck in a breath. I am just barely holding onto my sanity as a tear drips down my cheek. My eyes flick up to where my Aunt Bella stands with a wicked smirk on her face, absolutely satisfied, while my father still stands expressionless, sipping his whiskey with his shaking hand. My mother looks on the verge of tears, her entire body quaking in an ache to come closer to me, to comfort me and coddle me in the way only a mother can. 

Just when I believed the torture to be over, I was proved wrong as I am taken aback by a slash to my back, harder than any ever given to me before. I let out a scream of pain, not being able to hold it back. Another one hits my right side, right along my hip only seconds later, with another following shortly after, crossing over the center of my spine. I writhe in pain, grunting with each lash. One after another, they follow for what feels like hours without relenting. My body covered in slashes, blood flowing freely from the wounds.

I thought that it was finally over, finally relenting, when my eyes were giving out on me, fluttering shut, as I fought to stay conscious. I was no longer able to hold on, stay strong, keep him out, though I was trying. I could feel him slivering through the cracks, breaking me after hours upon hours of torture. I scream out in agony at the feeling of my mind being violated, my secrets, my memories, my happiness. I could feel him shuffling through my thoughts, my memories, as I gave one last forceful shot at pushing him out. My head hits the marble floor again as I begin to fade.

As I shut my eyes, I’m met with a painful vision of Katherine and I lying together on our bed in the Room of Requirement, less than clothed. I try to push him out, but find that I’m unable to even budge, only causing myself more and more pain if I resist. She’s running her hand gently through my hair as I gaze at her lovingly. Just as I lean in to kiss her, my thumb holding her chin steadily, the image spins, as if I were in a pensieve, but as it does, I let out a shout of pain. This time, I can see us together once more, but this time, showing us from yesterday, whispering our love for one another as our hands are mere centimeters apart, only the wards separating us. I can feel myself slipping, feel myself fading away completely as the image twists away, pushing her further away from me and closer to my agony. I just barely notice the warmth in my trouser pocket as everything falls away around me, surrounding me with black.

 

~~~~~~~~

 

I blink my eyes open, trying to adjust to the brightness of the room. Before I can notice anything, I’m hit with a wave of constant pain, starting in the back of my head and trickling all the way down my body. As the fogginess lifts from my vision, I can see two figures standing in the corner of my room speaking angrily in hushed voices. I try to readjust, moving my arm ever so slightly before it gives out under my weight, causing me to release a groan. I close my eyes and fall back onto the bed, trying to recall what happened. The last thing I can remember is being tortured, writhing on the drawing room floor, losing the battle of keeping the Dark Lord out of my mind, away from my darkest secrets and deepest desires. Had he gotten in?

I hear a few short clicks of high heels before my mother comes into my view, sitting carefully on the edge of my bed next to me. She places her hand on my forehead, sighing as I gaze at her. Her eyes are red rimmed and she looks as if she hasn’t slept for days, though her prim hair and pressed clothing don’t suggest the same. “He’s awake, Severus.” She says, her voice barely above a whisper. I move to sit up and look around the room for my godfather, but I feel a sharp, nagging pain in my abdomen that prevents me from doing so. I look down at myself to see that I’m shirtless and just in my boxers, my whole body up to my waist, is covered in bandages, some soaked through in the deep red of blood. My knees ache agonizingly as I try to move my legs, making me hiss in pain. “Draco, darling, please try not to move. You’re really hurt.” My mother says, concern deep in her eyes. I furrow my brow, trying my hardest to recall what had happened. 

I flick my eyes to my right to see Snape standing tensely next to my bedside table. “Severus?” I ask, my voice coming out as a croak. I try to clear my throat, swallowing, but my mother brings a glass of water to my lips as she sees me struggling. I swallow down the cool water with a grimace, my throat raw and aching from the screams I released. “What happened?” I look from my mother to Snape, trying to assess the worry in the air.  Snape sighed, a frown pinched on his lips as he crossed his arms across his chest. His eyebrows were furrowed and his posture rigid, as if he were holding in a breath. “How long have I been out?” I ask. Snape answers immediately, “Five and a half days.” I wince, closing my eyes shut tightly for a second before reopening them. “What happened?” I state again, my voice unwavering. “Draco…” My mother trails off, shaking her head. 

I clench my jaw, my heart beating faster in my chest. “Mother, tell me what happened now.” I say, my voice still rough, but more stern. She opens up “Cissy, tell him.” Snape said, taking a step forward and placing it on my mother’s shoulder. She reaches over, taking my hand in hers, pressing a familiar object into it. My hand closes around it, squeezing it before moving it carefully so that I could examine it. I reopen it to see my galleon, my tether to Katherine in my hand, delicate script adorning it in two seperate lines. The first reading:  ‘ _ I love you too; I can only hope we will be reunited soon’  _ whilst the second reads  _ ‘I’m beginning to worry, love. It’s been days since you sent me a message. Are you alright?’  _ I look up, my eyes dashing between my mother and the coin, closing my fist around it and pressing it to my lips. 

“He knows, Draco.” My mother whispers, biting her bottom lip nervously. “I’m sorry.” My head begins to spin, my heart stopping in my chest. I clench my eyes shut, releasing  a shaky breath. Once I compose myself enough that I know I won’t scream, I open my eyes, darting them up to meet Snape’s hard look. “Has he gotten to her?” I ask, my voice breaking as I think of Katherine. Snape shakes his head, “No, at least, not yet. He’s looking though; he’s employed all his forces into looking for her.” He says evenly. My breathing begins to pick up as I entertain the idea of Voldemort looking for Katherine, getting to her, torturing her until she can no longer scream. 

The thought alone causes me to go into a panic. “Shit, shit, shit! This is all my sodding fault! I should never have visited her the other night; I should have locked her in her dorm room at Hogwarts and Bellatrix never would have known about her. I should never have kissed her. Fuck, I should never have fallen in love with her in the first place! This is too sodding dangerous for her. She doesn’t deserve this, doesn’t deserve me; it’s all my fault–” Snape cuts me off, talking over my incessant ranting. “Merlin, Draco! She’ll be fine as long as she’s under the Order’s protection! She’s safe!” He shouts, moving closer to me. I heave in painful breath after painful breath, trying to return my breathing to a normal rate. “She’s safe?” I ask breathlessly, unable to believe what he was saying. She would never be safe with Voldemort looking for her. She wasn’t safe when Bellatrix was after her, but now she has the whole of the Dark Lord’s army to worry about as well. “It’s you, you should be worrying about, Draco.” I can feel my face heat up in anguish as I try to suppress the rage I know is coming. “He knows your secrets now; he knows that you’re not loyal to his cause, that you’re in love with a member of the Order of the Phoenix, a blood traitor. He knows that you mean to betray him, to leave here and never return. You’re a traitor, Draco and he doesn’t take kindly to it.” He pauses, turning to look out the window to the fields of the Manor. 

“He means to make an example out of you. He means to torture you in front of his ranks, showing them what being a traitor means in his eyes. He wants to do it tonight, in ways unimaginable by you or anyone else until tonight. You will quite literally become a shell of who you are now. He’ll make it so you can just barely remember who you are. He will leave you alive, only long enough so that he can torture, rape, and kill Miss Creswell slowly in front of you as you’re forced to watch before he turns your skin inside out, finally giving you the sweet release of death that you will crave.” He finishes, turning back towards me with an unblinking seriousness in his expression. “ _ Fuck _ .” I hiss out as I try stand up. Snape catches my shoulders before I roll out of the bed onto the floor. “Draco!” Mother yelps as she stands up, rushing to stand by my head, crouching down.

We sat there in silence  for a few minutes, my mother running her fingers through my hair soothingly as I gripped tightly at the coin in my hand. It was an uncomfortable pregnant silence, what was going to happen, along with what had happened, looming in the air. I glanced down at my body, at the broken state it’s in. The pain is radiating throughout my body, throbbing in my bones, in my veins. My abdomen was aching, front to back, covered in bandages that are littered with blotches of red. I don’t even want to know what my back looks like after the lashings I took. I can taste the tang Skele-Gro on my tongue as I look at my knees, still cut up, looking too fragile to walk on. If the pounding on the back of my head is anything to go by, I have a deep gash running along it. I’m barely functioning as it is and now I was going to endure more and much worse. 

It’s Snape who finally breaks the silence. “As much as I’d love to wait until you can coddle him back to health, Narcissa, we have to get Draco out of this house and to safety.” He says, his face expressionless. I turn to face him, furrowing my eyebrows. “Severus, what are you on about? How are we supposed to get out of here?” I ask, looking from Mother to Snape, noticing the look they exchange between them. It’s my mother who speaks, “Not we, love.” She says, giving me a sad smile as she caresses my cheek gently. “Mother, I’m not leaving you here! They’ll kill you!” I say, my tone getting louder with each word. “Shhh. Hush, my love,” Her eyes were filling with tears, but she looked firm on her decision, “I can’t go; I won’t leave your father here, regardless of the hollow man he’s become. Underneath it all, I still love him, still care about him, despite how cold, how distant he’s become in the recent years. As much as I would like to leave, it’s too dangerous for both of us to go. It has to be you.  Go and be with your Katherine and one day, maybe, when all this is over, I’ll have the pleasure of meeting her.” 

I’ve never seen a more sweet, sacrificing smile on my mother’s face than the one that graces her now. I can feel tears pricking behind my eyes, threatening to spill over. “They’ll kill you.” I say under my breath, shifting my eyes away from hers, looking down at my hands in my lap. She shakes her head. “They won’t find out. And Merlin forbid they do, then I’ll be dying for the right cause. I’ll be dying so that my son, my only son, can live and hopefully, one day, have children of his own so that he can understand how easy it is to sacrifice yourself to protect the ones you love.” A single tear drips down her cheek as she still smiles at me. Her eyes trace along every line, every mark, every feature on my face, trying to commit it completely to memory. I can see it in her eyes that she has a gut feeling that this is the last time she’ll ever see me. 

She pulls me carefully into her into a gentle, but firm hug, holding me to her. I wrap my arms around her without hesitation, squeezing her as hard as I could without reopening any wounds or rupturing my organs. We stay there for what feels like a while as I take in everything about her. It’s rare that Mother and I share moments like this, moments considered ‘weak’ by my father and ‘too intimate’ by pureblood high society, but I couldn’t give a rat’s arse about any of that bollocks now. I try to blink away any tears, but a few escape, falling down my face onto her perfect navy blue robes.

When we finally let go, she taps my cheek, wiping away my tears with her thumb. “Are you really okay with it, Mother? Katherine and I?” I croak, the question nagging at the back of my brain. She nods slightly, “Darling, all I’ve ever wanted was for you to be happy. Maybe a long time ago, I would have given a shit, but all I want is for you to be happy and she seems to make you so. Just by the way you looked at that coin, I could tell you were in love with her. Severus has past told me the way you look at each other when you think no one is watching and even as heartless as he is, he can’t deny that you’re happy together.” She states simply, as if it were uncomplicated. “I can’t tell you what that means to me.” I reply, not realizing that her opinion mattered to me until that moment. 

“Draco, you have to go. They’ll come calling for you soon. I have a portkey,” Snape says, pulling an old pocket watch out of his trousers and handing it to me. Almost simultaneously, I can hear the clicking of high heels in the corridor just outside, causing me to shudder at the thought of Bellatrix. My mother turns away from me, glancing towards the magically silenced and locked door to where her deranged sister lies beyond, “Love, you have to leave now. It’s the only way you’ll be safe.” She says softly, taking my hand in hers and giving it a light squeeze. I nod, my head spinning from receiving so much information in the span of a few minutes.

The footsteps stop in front of the door, the shadow of my aunt just barely visible from under it. A hand viciously knocks on it, rapping over and over. “It’s time for you to finally get what you deserve, you traitor.” Bellatrix spits wickedly. Snape glances at the door, paying her no mind as he shakes his head for me not to give her the satisfaction of answering. Instead, he continues to speak, giving me directions. “The portkey goes to the Burrow. It’s the safehouse you followed Granger to the other night. This will bring you in the ward; you need not worry about being shut out. I’m assuming Miss Creswell’s still there, at least she should be if I had to hazard a guess since it’s where the Weasleys are.” He says, turning around and picking up my rucksack off the floor and placing it on my lap. “Here, these are your things.” I take the portkey and turn it over in my hand, examining the object warily. “You’ll likely be interrogated once you arrive, but assuming Miss Creswell is there, no harm will come to you, hopefully at least.” He pauses, darting his eyes again to the door as the sound of Bellatrix trying to undo the locks fills the room. “You’ll be safe there; if nothing, safer than you are here.” 

I swallow hard, furrowing my eyebrows to look at my mother once more. “Mother, I don’t want to leave you.” I say, giving her hand a squeeze. “I know, Draco, I know, but you must. It’s what’s best. I’ll be alright; you need not worry about me.” She says. Snape looks back to the two of us, concern creasing his brow. “Please hurry up the goodbyes if you will. It’s not as if your psychotic sister is almost into the room.” He says sarcastically. “Right.” Mother says, letting go of my hand, placing both of hers on either side of my face. “I love you very much, Draco. You are my everything.” She says, a watery smile etched on her face. I return it, fighting back the tears. “I love you too, Mum.” I say, not being able to hold back the term of endearment that almost never passed through my lips anymore. She pulls me in, hugging me once more, her chin resting lightly on my injured shoulder, her lips by my left ear. “I’m so very proud of you, Draco; more than you will ever know.” She lets go, placing a kiss on my forehead. She backs away, standing up as she wipes tears away from her eyes. 

“It’s time, Draco.” Snape says before tapping his wand to the top of his head, a disillusionment charm wracking through his body, rendering him invisible. “Bellatrix will be in here any moment.” He says. I give a nod to the air, no longer knowing where he is. “Goodbye Severus.” I say firmly. “Thank you.” He says nothing for a few seconds before replying, “Goodbye Draco.” He says, as I feel my wand press into my hand. I swallow again, pointing my wand at the portkey just as I hear Bellatrix shout, “ _ Bombarda! _ ” Causing the door to explode into a million splinters of wood. “ _ Portus. _ ” I whisper nervously, taking one last look at my mother’s blue eyes as Bellatrix clobbers in behind her, wand in hand, light flashing from it with a hungry expression on her face, before I’m spun away into darkness, as if a string were tugging on my injured navel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops a bit of a cliffhanger there, but it definitely won't be too long of a wait for the next chapter as I have about half or maybe a bit more written already.
> 
> Next chapter reunites the couple back in Katherine's POV
> 
> As always, don't hesitate to leave comments and kudos! I love hearing feedback from my readers!
> 
> Until next time,
> 
> -Em:)


	31. Chapter Thirty-One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco's arrival at the Burrow is cause for argument and debate amongst the Order. Katherine and Draco are reunited, but all happiness is momentarily suspended to treat his injuries.
> 
> Katherine's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> As promised, this chapter is here a lot quicker than the last few. It's also extremely long, by far the longest chapter thus far at just over 7400 words.
> 
> A HUMONGOUS thank you for my beta closer-to-monkey for editing this monster of a chapter!!
> 
> Enjoy:)
> 
> -Em

I flick my wand towards the dirty dishes sitting on the table, levitating them to the sink. With another flick, I watch, admiring my work as they wash themselves, trying out the new cleaning spells that Molly taught me in these past few weeks. I do wish they taught housekeeping spells at Hogwarts as they’re quite useful. After they’re finished washing themselves, I wave my wand once more, causing the dishes to disperse into their respective cabinets and drawers, putting a satisfied smile on my face. Though I’ve never had to live without it, unlike Hermione and Harry, magic never ceases to amaze me. With that in mind, I’ll never take it for granted or use my gift, which it is so, for evil.

Ginny comes up to stand next to me, examining the pleased smile on my face. Everyone else vacated the kitchen, leaving the two of us, or more accurately, me, to clean up the mess left after lunch. They were all outside begrudgingly doing chores in the garden, hiding out in their rooms to escape doing said chores (Ronald), planning the next mission (which I won’t be allowed to go on, not that I’m bitter), or planning the wedding. “Those spells Mum taught you are going to good use,” She said, “Even though it’s not such a thing I want to learn, I have to admit that they’re almost as perfect as when she cleans them herself.” I turn to look at her and she has an amused smile playing at her lips. “Well she’s getting so wrapped up in wedding planning that someone needed to help take the load off. It might as well be me, as I’m not quite doing much of anything these days, not being able to leave the house and all.” I say, picking at the non-existent lint on my sleeve. “I know, Katherine. I’m sorry.” She says, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. “At least we’re trapped here together.” She with a bittersweet smile, “You know, like ‘partners in captivity’.” She says gesturing to the air in front of us with the arm that wasn’t around me. I let out an easy laugh. 

If anyone remotely knew what it was like to be trapped in this house, it was Ginny. Being underage, the youngest of the Weasleys and the only girl among them, made everyone extremely overprotective of her, even if she didn’t need their help. Ginny is perfectly capable of defending herself, as she proved last year in the Department of Mysteries. She can certainly hold her own on the battlefield, frustrating her, though she didn’t let on. She tried to stay positive, joking around, even though she was probably almost as mad as I am.

I move from her embrace, slouching down into a chair at the table, taking a rest before joining the boys outside in the garden, removing gnomes and billywigs. Ginny sits down into the chair next to mine, kicking up her feet into my lap. I shoot her a look, but she just gives me a grin that was scarily reminiscent of Fred and George. I rolled my eyes and shook my head, chuckling to myself. I reach into my pocket, my fingers curling around the round metal object that was keeping me sane, disappointing me when I find it cold. I run my index finger along the edge of it, the pad of it sinking into the slight ridges. I pull it out, holding it so that I could just see it, inspecting it for any miniscule sign of a note or change on it. I sigh, pressing the coin to my lips, trying to pull out any source of warmth, but not finding any, just the coolness of the metal under my touch. I unconsciously touch the signet ring, the one that hangs on the chain around my neck belonging to the pendant that also hangs there. I finger the emerald stone, twirling the ring between my fingers, sighing.

“When was the last you heard from him?” Ginny asked, biting at her fingernails carelessly. It was a habit she unfortunately shared with Ron. I looked up to meet her eye, licking my lip hesitantly. “Almost six days now. I’m sure he’s fine. I’m just… worried.” I say, shrugging as I look back down to my hands, still clutching the coin. Ginny doesn’t say anything else, but she gives me a reassuring smile before taking her feet off of me and moving her chair closer to mine. She puts out her arms and I lean into them, resting my head on her shoulder, gazing at the table ahead of me. 

We sat like that for a few minutes, only the creaking of the house and the low murmur of voices coming from outside and other rooms filling the air. It was nice to have a moment of peace among all of this war. It was always loud here, never quiet. There’s always something going on, whether it’s something as wonderful as Bill and Fleur’s wedding or something as awful as the funeral for Mad-Eye. There was never a moment just to ourselves, a moment of quiet among all the noise. I know this is about as close as I’ll get to it.

I finally let Ginny go, standing up with a sigh. “Alright, I guess we should join the boys and Hermione outside.” I say, offering her my hand to help her up, which she takes with fake astonishment, making me giggle. “If we must.” She huffs, rolling her eyes. “Trust me, I don’t want to be picking billywigs out of the garden anymore than you do, but if we don’t get our arses out there, your mother might skin us alive. She’s going mad with the wedding planning.” I say to which Ginny lets out a snort. “You got that right.” If anyone was fed up with planning the wedding, it was Ginny. She was about one question about flower arrangements away from hexing Fleur’s head off.

She swings her arm around my shoulder as we walk together towards the door. Just as I was about to reach for the handle, it opens in front of me, revealing a heavily breathing and distraught Hermione, chestnut-colored eyes bulging out of her head. She crashes right into my chest, knocking her out of whatever trance she was in. “Katherine!” She breathes out haggardly. Ginny lets go of me immediately and I put my hand on Hermione’s shoulder, “What’s wrong?” I ask, my eyes filled with concern for my best friend standing in front of me. She shakes her head, grabbing my wrist, pulling me out the door. “You have to come now!” She drags me towards the garden, mumbling something about blood replenishing potion and healing spells. “Hermione, who’s hurt?” I say, my heart quickening in my chest at her exasperated state. Hermione is rarely this shaken about something and it brings out an unnatural panic within me. 

“KATHERINE LOOK!” She says, stopping us a few feet away from the garden, where Fred, George, Bill, and Harry are kneeling in front of something–no–somebody on the ground, bloodied and broken, chest heaving. I can hear the boys talking, no arguing, amongst themselves about? the person on the ground. “How did he even get here? The wards were set by Mad-Eye and Kingsley; they’re impenetrable! They never should have let a Death Eater in, of all people.” I hesitantly take a step forward at the mention of ‘Death Eater’, looking to examine who it is on the ground. It couldn’t be who I thought it was. At just the idea, my heart flutters, but I force myself to breathe and be rational, so as not to bring my hopes up.

My heart clenches as I see a flash of white-blond hair in the sunlight. I take a sharp inhale, feeling unable to release it as I blink to confirm that what I’m seeing is reality. Frozen for less than a second, I throw myself on the ground next to the familiar head, whose seemingly mumbling something to the boys kneeling over him, a frustrated tone in his voice. “Does it look like I’m in any c-condition to try and murder any of you, P-Potter?” He says, his voice harsh, but weak, appearing more as a croak, “And l-let me remind you, y-you’re the one who tried to k-kill me.” Harry’s face pales at the comment as he retreats from the argument, looking guilty. He’s barely conscious and still finding a way to argue. If that isn’t my Draco, I don’t know what is. It almost makes me smile, the corners of my lips tugging up ever so slightly at the sound of his too familiar drawl. 

As I approach, Bill grabs my arms, trying to pull me away from the scene playing out, but I shake him off with all my might. “Kat, back  _ away _ from him! He’s dangerous!” George yells, trying to pull me away as Bill tried to, but fails as I elbow him in the gut, making him drop his hand. “No, he’s not! He’s sodding injured you prat!” I bellowed, not even giving him the satisfaction of looking up. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Harry open his mouth to speak, but I beat him to it, “If anyone raises a wand at him maliciously, I won’t hesitate to hex you! He’s  _ not _ dangerous and he’s  _ not  _ a Death Eater.” No one says anything else about it, the only noise being several huffs of breath in frustration. The silence is broken by Draco who yelps in pain, biting down hard on his lip, his whole body shaking. “Shit, what do we do with him?” Harry asks. I look up to him and shoot him a long glare, pushing Bill out of my way to get closer to Draco.

My breath catches in my throat for a moment as I allow my eyes to trail down Draco’s body, looking at the stains of red smeared on his bandages, soaking them through. He was only wearing a pair of boxers that were now just as blood-soaked as his dressings. He had dark purple bruises along the right side of his jaw, another on his left temple and a small cut along his eyebrow. In one hand, he was clutching an old golden pocket watch tightly to his chest, while a rucksack lay next to him, “D-Draco?” I manage, holding back a sob. His hard silver eyes turn molten as they flicker away from Harry and meet my brown ones. He offers me what looks like an attempt to smile. “I t-told you I’d c-come back to you.” He tries to say arrogantly, but his stutter ruins the effect he was going for. He lifts a shaky and bloody hand to caress my cheek. I let out a small smile, taking his hand in mine, pressing a kiss into his palm. I take my other hand and rake it through his hair, trying to calm him, just for a moment. “How did you get here? What happened?” I ask, in utter shock that he’s actually here, at the Burrow. “P-portkey.” He musters, lifting his other hand slowly to hand me the golden pocket watch. I turn around, handing it over to Hermione. When I turn back, Draco’s eyes close for a few seconds, his face relaxing before he lets out a groan of agony, though he tries to suppress it. The noise reminds me that he’s in pain and desperately in need of medical attention. 

I furrow my eyebrows, letting out a shaky breath as I feel tears wet my cheeks. “Draco, love,” I say, having a hard time getting the words out. “Can you walk?” I run my hand through his hair again, trying my best to soothe his writhing. He shakes his head furiously, clenching his eyes shut as he lets out a yelp, trying to move his legs. I look down to his knees, which are as battered up as the rest of him, looking as if the bone was crushed. I bring my hand to his face, moving my thumb on his cheek in a way that, in the past, proved effective in waking him up from nightmares. “It’s okay, it’s alright. I’ll help you.” I promise, nodding as he opens his eyes a crack, nodding as he holds in a breath. I tear my eyes away from him, looking up to the boys who are staring at me wide-eyed and shout, “ARE YOU ARSEHOLES GOING TO HELP ME OR NOT? HE’S FUCKING BLEEDING!” They seem to blink out of their angry stupor, standing up quickly, scowls still prominent on their faces. My eyes flick back down to Draco, whose biting his lip in pain. 

I move my hand to rest on his cheek again, whispering, “It’s going to be okay, love. Draco, you’re going to be okay.” My hand is cold against his warm cheek, shaking in panic. I look back up, my eyes flicking back and forth between the three Weasleys and Harry. “Help me carry him inside; lie him on the sofa.  _ Please _ .” I plead and order at the same time, my eyes locking with Harry whose emerald eyes looked conflicted, but after a moment, he sighs and bends down along with Bill to support Draco’s weight. “ _ Fuck.”  _ He lets out a hiss of pain as they lift him up, shutting his eyes tightly. He was so distracted by his pain that he didn’t even try to protest against being practically carried by Harry. “Draco, you’re alright.” I whisper, blinking back tears as I nod reassuringly at him. He looked so fragile there, all beaten and bloodied, his body limp, his head hanging as he was being carried by a man who he hates and who hates him just as fully. He looks as if he lost his dignity and all that was left was shame. It broke my heart in two, welling more tears to my eyes. I run my hand carefully through his hair and whisper another reassurance in his ear, biting my lip as I back away so they can get him to the house. I pick up his rucksack off the ground, carrying it with me as we run to the house.

I turn to look at Hermione and Ginny who were only standing a foot or so back, looking worriedly between me and the three boys next to me. I force myself to take a breath in before speaking, “Hermione, can you–” I begin to say, but she cuts me off, speaking as she hastily runs back to the house, “Get the potions, I’m on it.” I nod, though she can’t see me. “Ginny, go get your mother. I’m not going to be able to heal him on my own. He’s too hurt.” She nods, and runs up ahead of us and into the house.  I walk alongside Harry, trying to assess what Draco’s injuries are. “Quickly!” I order to them, looking to see Draco’s face grow a little greyer than it was before, the color quickly leaving his cheeks. Harry and Bill thankfully speed up, despite their mutterings of protest. Harry looks as if he’s going to say something, but then thinks better of it and closes his mouth. I pause by the doorway, letting them enter in before me. I grip a handful of my dark curls, holding them tightly as worry clenches in my gut. I close my eyes for a second, giving myself that moment before panicking once more as I enter the house.

As soon as they’re through the doorway, I run inside before the twins can, dropping onto my knees next to the couch where Bill and Harry are placing Draco down carefully, so as not to cause anymore excess bleeding. He groans as they put him down, clenching his jaw. Just looking at him lying there, reminds me of his fight with Harry in the bathroom earlier in the year, making my stomach churn. I take his face in both my hands, running my thumbs soothingly across both cheeks, whispering to him, “Draco, look at me. Open your eyes.” I say. His skin was cold, feeling as if it were melting under my touch. His eyes which had been clenched shut, fluttered open as his chest hitched, causing him to release a grunt. “Shhh. I know it hurts, love.” I say, running my hand through his hair, trying to distract him. He seems unable to speak and barely able to move. I don’t even want to will myself to imagine how he came to be this injured. “I’m here with you, Draco. You’re safe; you’re going to be okay.” I croak out, spitting out reassurances one after another. I place a kiss on his knuckles, now stained red from the bandages before turning away and looking around the room frantically to those standing in shock and anguish. “He’s bleeding out! I need help!” I cry out, a tear slipping down my face. Harry approaches me, his eyes filled with resounding guilt, the scene unfolding undeniably reminding him of what happened in the bathroom a few months ago.

Harry and I work to undo the blood-soaked bandages around Draco’s abdomen, revealing the gashes and slashes underneath. “Merlin,” Harry curses, shaking his head, his eyes shut, “What the bloody hell happened to him?” I shake my head, swallowing hard. “Questions later, Harry. Please, just help me. He’s bleeding out.” I say as he nods immediately, pulling off the rest of his bandages. I clench my eyes shut for a second at the sight of the blood and cuts covering him, making myself take a breath before taking out my wand and muttering some of the minor healing spells I know, not making much progress. Harry runs out a moment later, muttering something about Skele-Gro, returning a moment or two later with the bottle of the wretched liquid in hand. “ _ Tergeo _ .” I shout, causing some of the blood on the affected area to disappear for a moment or two before more takes its place. “Shit, shit, shit!” I shout, my hands shaking as they try to heal him.

Hermione comes barrelling down the stairs, her arms struggling to carry an assortment of potions. She fumbles to place them on the table next to the sofa that Draco’s laying on. I scan through the labels, my shaky hands almost knocking over three other bottles in the process before finding the two I need. I uncork the first bottle with my teeth, lifting Draco’s head up carefully. “Draco, I-I need you to drink these, okay? They’re going to help, I promise.” He nods, slowly unhinging his shaking jaw. I press the bottle of blood replenishing potion to his lips, tipping it back so he consumes it. He struggles to swallow it as I toss the empty bottle on the floor. I massage his throat, forcing him to swallow. When he finally does, I squeeze his hand lightly, reaching for the pain potion and uncorking it, repeating the process. I give Hermione a look of gratitude, not only for bringing me potions, but also for bringing me the strongest pain potion we have, which will hopefully prevent him from screaming out, although, by looking at him, I can tell he’ll still be in a great deal of pain. He slowly stops writhing as the pain potion immediately takes effect, his uneven, shallow breathing slowing into a slightly less haggard pace.

Just as I reach for the bottle of Skele-Gro from Harry, Molly comes running into the room, stopping in the doorway with a hand clapped over her mouth when she sees Draco lying on the sofa. Behind her, stands Fleur, Ginny and my mum, the former’s eyes narrowing at the sight while the latter of the three looks immediately petrified and unsure of what to do. “Oh dear!” Molly shouts, running her hand through her hair. “Everybody clear out, now!” She says, ushering the boys and Ginny from the room, but signalling for Hermione to stay. No one moves, everyone looking too wary to leave. “Mum! He’s a Death Eater! You’re going to treat him?” Ron asks incredulously, his head popping out from outside the doorway. Molly enters the room, my mother trailing close behind, wand in hand as she looks to me warily. “I’m not going to leave him here to die!” I flick my eyes with a look of gratitude to Molly’s as she stands next to me, examining Draco’s condition. “Bill, send a patronus to Kingsley and tell your father what’s happened.” She says, not taking her eyes off the scene in front of her. Bill gives her a wary look, hesitating before giving her a nod as he walks out the door, shooting a distrusting look to Draco on his way out. “Everyone get out! It’s much too crowded in here!” She yells at everyone, all of them finally filing out, but not without protest and mutterings. Ron tries to grab his mother by the elbow to tell her something, but she pushes him out the door, closing and locking it behind him. “That’s better.” She says with a sigh, her eyes falling back to Draco.

I stand up, moving to walk to Molly, but Draco catches my wrist tightly in his hand, holding on as if his life depended on it. “Stay.” He says firmly. When I turn around to face him, his silver orbs were swirling with desperation, with fear. I bite my lip, looking towards Molly, who glances down at Draco somewhat sympathetically. “Stay there, Katherine. It’s okay. Hermione and I will take over.” She says to which I nod, sitting back on the floor next to Draco’s head. His grip loosens and adjusts to hold my hand, squeezing it. “Now, what’s wrong with him?” Molly asks, regaining the panicked, but controlled look in her eye. “He won’t stop bleeding, Molly. I don’t know what to do. I gave him blood replenishing potion and a pain potion and I tried all the basic healing spells I know, but it’s not working. The wounds are too large, too deep.” I say, tears slipping down my cheeks one after another. She puts a hand on my cheek, wiping away the tears there, “It’ll be okay, dear. Just keep him conscious. Don’t let him pass out from the blood loss. That’s all you can do whilst I work.” I look at her unsure for a moment and then nod as she turns, wand in hand, already muttering spells under her breath. 

I look just long enough to see two of his gashes heal before turning to look Draco in his eyes, which are only half-opened. I let go of the breath I’ve been holding since we came inside as I know that Molly will be able to help him. “You have to stay awake, Draco. Look at me, keep your eyes on me.” He opens them a little more, giving my hand a small squeeze, almost putting a smile on my face. That was enough to let me know he’s still in there. I run my thumb over his knuckles, trying in any way that I can to comfort and distract him from his pain. “I’m tired, love.” He whispers, his eyes fluttering for a moment. I shake my head frantically. “No, you mustn’t fall asleep. You  _ have  _ to stay awake.” I plead with him, losing the battle as his eyes begin to close.

“Draco!” I say loudly, running my hand through his soft blond hair, matted with blood. He opens his eyes again, giving me a dazed grin as the potions take effect, making him a bit loopy. “Hmm?” He hums, entwining our fingers together again. His hand is clammy and shaking in mine, feeling cold from his loss of blood. “Stay with me, love.” I say desperately, pressing my forehead to his, forcing him to look at me, into my eyes. “Talk to me, Draco. About anything.” He lets out another hum and then a grunt of pain before moving his lips to brush against mine. “I’ve missed you.” He says into my mouth, pressing a gentle kiss to my lips. His lips are pale, almost cold, but still his lips. I let my eyes slip closed for a moment before I pull away, placing my forehead back on his. “I missed you too. More than you know.” He tries to move to kiss me again, but I pull back, making him pout. “Draco, my mum’s right over there and Mrs. Weasley’s fixing you up. We can’t do this now. Later, I promise.” I whisper, almost chuckling at his eagerness despite his incapacitated state.

“Oh, alright.” He says, instead, squeezing my hand and looking over to where my mum is standing uncomfortably behind the sofa, twirling her wand between her fingers. She looks unsteady, as if everything is becoming too much. “You alright, Mum?” I ask, looking at her with concern. She snaps out of her daze, her eyes fixing on Draco and me, “Hmm?” She furrows her brow and then nods, “Oh, yes. I’m quite fine.” She says, not looking very convincing. She looks down to our hands, laced together before her gaze travels a few inches above, distastefully glaring at Draco’s mark. My eyes flick from it to my mum, swallowing hard. I open my mouth to press on, but before I can, Draco shuts his eyes tight, muttering, “ _ Fuck, fuck, fucking shit. Sod it all! _ ” 

I turn away from my mum, still worried about her as I face Draco, trying to comfort him the best I can. I can see him begin to fade, getting more and more tired through the effects of the potions I fed him. “Shhh. You’re going to be fine, okay? I know it hurts but just hold on. I’m here with you, just talk to me.” I whisper, kissing the back of his hand. He nods, his face still contorted in agony. “It fucking hurts.” He grunts out, shaking his head back and forth, his breathing haggard. “I know. I know. The hurt will stop soon, I promise.” I say. 

He’s quiet for a minute, seemingly lost in his thoughts before speaking again, his voice low and sincere. “I’m sorry about the coin,” He forces out, “Not answering I mean.” He says, his eyes shut as he continues to spit out words, struggling greatly through the wave of pain hitting him. “I was,” He pauses with a hitch of his breath, “Unconscious for the past six days.” My eyes grow wide, my mouth going agape at the revelation. “Don’t you dare apologize. I’m just glad you’re alive, that you’re here with me.” I whisper, squeezing his hand. “You know, the last thing I remember before it went dark,” He whispers so that only I can hear, his eyes looking past my head to the back wall. “Was the warmth of it, of the message you sent me.” My lips quirk up into a soft smile as I gaze at him. 

As I sit there, trying to distract Draco, I can hear arguments happening just outside the door, protests to Draco’s being here, to treating him. At the sound of it, I scowl, shooting a glare at the door, not that it would help in any way. All of the voices were overlapping, not allowing me to hear any one full argument, only catching small sections of exchanges, but they all are around the same lines of: “He’s a Death Eater; this is outrageous!”, “Has mum gone mad? She’s treating the bastard; he’s a murderer!”, “He can’t stay here! I won’t let it happen! I refuse to live under the same roof as a Death Eater!”. My personal favorite, however, were the comments about how I’m going mad, how I’m insane for helping Draco, for loving him.

Draco continues to wince and grips my hand tighter, letting out a breath through his teeth slowly. “Sorry dear.” Molly says, not taking her eyes off of Draco’s abdomen which is now mostly healed as much as it can be. “These wounds have been healed before. I can see the healing magic that was in place leaving your body.” She says. Draco nods forcefully, “Mhm.” He affirms. “Snape and my mother.” He says. “The portkey reopened the wounds,” He pauses, cursing before continuing. “When it brought me into the wards.” Hermione’s helping her to put dittany on his wounds to prevent scarring whilst Molly examines his knees. “They’re broken.” Draco croaks out, fighting the urge to shout when Molly touches one of them. “He needs Skele-Gro, Katherine. It’s right behind you.” I nod, picking up the bottle off the table next to me, unscrewing the cap and pouring out the correct dosage into a cup that was sitting there, putrid green fog rising from it. I give Draco a look of apology for the taste, knowing how wretched it is, having tasted it many times in the past. “Bottoms up then.” He says, trying to make light of the situation as I lift the glass to his lips, tilting it until all of the liquid is drained from the glass. He swallows with a twisted grimace of disgust on his face. He scrunches up his nose for a moment before the initial taste passes. 

“To be clear, I’m not kissing you again until all remnants of that shit is gone.” I joke. He lets out a laugh, wincing greatly as he does, his chest contracting, before leaning forward as much as he could (which wasn’t much) with his lips puckered. I back away, letting out a chuckle. “Nice try, but it’s not going to work.” I say, rolling my eyes sarcastically at him. “We’ll see about that.” He replies softly, “Can I have water?” He asks, sounding unsure. I nod, a small smile spreading across my lips until he shudders again, holding my hand in his in a vice-like grip. “Of course, love.” I ruffle his hair gently before grabbing my wand, pointing it at the cup, performing a silent  _ aguamenti _ . I bring the cup to his lips and allow him to drink, taking it down slowly, his face contorting as if it burns his throat to swallow. I put the cup back down on the table next to me, wiping the bead of water dripping down his chin with the back of my free hand. 

As he goes to reposition his right shoulder, Draco’s face turns pained, his eyebrows furrowed as his breath caught for the moment. “ _ Arsehole _ .” He murmurs, shaking his head to try and rid himself of the pain. I sigh, pulling my wand back out and holding it to his shoulder. “Brace yourself.” I say, giving him a nod before saying, “ _ Episkey _ .” With a loud crack and a shout of a curse, Draco’s shoulder popped itself back into place, letting out a loud ‘fuck’ that was likely heard throughout the whole house. “Better?” I ask, to which he rolls his eyes at me. “Witch.” He mumbles. I roll my eyes right back at him, “How observant.” I clapback. He narrows his eyes but says nothing, leaning his head back against the pillow behind his head.

Draco’s eyes begin to droop closed again, but I force him back awake with a hand on his cheek. “Shit.” I mutter under my breath. “Let me sleep.” He grumbles, the potions trying to lull him to sleep once more. “You can’t. At least, not yet.” I say compassionately, stroking my thumb along his barely-there stubble. He grunts as Hermione and Molly work to mend the last large gash on his abdomen. He moves to close his eyes again, but I squeeze his hand, coaxing him awake by repeating his name until he opens his eyes. “Please, Draco. Do it for me.” I plead with him as he tries to fight the potions. He nods, “Only for you.” I give him the smallest of smiles, which he tries to return but struggles to do so. 

“Katherine, we have to see to his back now.” Hermione says, wiping sweat from her brow as she glances down at the work she and Molly accomplished. She pulls her bushy brown hair into a bun to stop it from sticking to her forehead. I nod, standing up, but not letting go of Draco’s hand. Molly is finishing up putting fresh bandages on the newly healed cuts, making sure they will protect against infection. “Okay, love. We have to turn you over, okay?” He looked at me, his silver eyes pleading with me before giving me a resigned sigh. I look up to Molly, Hermione and my mum, giving them a nod to go ahead. “This is going to hurt.” I say, biting on my lip. 

I stand up, my fingers still entwined with his. Molly, Hermione and I carefully lift him up, trying our best not to aggravate his injuries. He takes in a sharp inhale as he tries to help us, twisting over as best he can in our grip. He squeezes my hand hard, hurting me a bit, not that I would tell him so. We place him down gently onto his newly healed stomach revealing the now red mess of bandages covering his back. I take a shaking hand and peel back the warm gauze, gasping at the horror underneath. 

Deep slashes adorned with crimson, at least fifteen, litter from his shoulder blades to the waistband of his boxers. “Shit, Draco.” I say breathlessly, “ _ Tergeo. _ ” The blood lining his shoulders disappears, revealing the pale skin underneath. My hand finds the back of his head, searching for the source of the blood matted in his hair. He winces as my hand presses into the warm gash. I wave my wand over it, healing it. I lean next to his head, looking right into his eyes. “Draco, how did this happen?” I ask, running my hands through his hair gently. He shakes his head, his expression falling. “He, um, he was punishing me for sucking at being a Death Eater.” He said, his tone almost sarcastic, his eyes looking away from mine into the space just past my head. “Cut the bullshit, Draco. I know you’re delirious right now, but just tell me.” I say. He swallows hard, his eyes flicking back to mine with a newfound seriousness. “It was for my failings the other night. I think he suspected I was hiding something and he wanted an excuse to go looking around in my head.” He stated, his voice no louder than a whisper. I can feel the tears prick behind my eyes, threatening to escape once more. 

“This was because you came to see me.” I say monotonously. It was a question, but a fact. Draco nods slightly, but says nothing for a moment before letting out a loud groan. “H-he knows about me, us. It’s all my fault, Katherine. I couldn’t keep him out; I tried, I really did. I’m so sorry. You’re in danger because of me. He means to find you and kill you.” There’s a sudden pang in my chest at the thought that Voldemort knows about Draco and me. “You were already almost killed because of me.” I reply, resting my forehead against his. He bites his lip in agony, shutting his eyes tightly for a minute before reopening them. “But I’m not dead. I’m here now, with you. I’m not going to leave you again.” He whispers, his breath hot on my cheek. He lets out a shaky hiss of pain, cursing under his breath once more, his chest contracting underneath him. “You’re not. I won’t let you.” I say, letting my eyes flutter shut for a second. 

His lips connect with mine, catching me off guard for a moment, nipping at my bottom lip, seeking entry. As I move to open it, his tongue caressing mine hesitantly, I pull back suddenly, reaching for the water glass behind me to rid myself of the vile taste of Skele-Gro still present in his mouth. I swish the water around in my mouth before swallowing it, trying to make the rotten fish and over-boiled cabbage taste disappear before looking back at Draco, who has a satisfied, but strained smile on his face. “You, Draco Malfoy, are an arsehole.” I say, rolling my eyes. “You love it.” He quips, lifting his hand, shaking hard with the effects of the cruciatus curse still plaguing his body, up to my hair, running his fingers through a knotted curl. “Unfortunately,” I say, shaking my head with a resigned sigh, “I couldn’t hate you if I tried,”  _ And believe me, I have, _ I thought. “And you know it, which is a dangerous thing.” I say, pointing my finger at him. He moves to say something, his lip quirking up slightly into the smirk that I love so much, but instead his breath catches in his throat and he lets a whimper slip through his lips. 

Molly and Hermione rapidly finished healing Draco’s back, applying the clean bandages only minutes later. Draco seemed to calm as I brushed my fingers through his hair whilst my other hand held his, my thumb moving in deliberate circles on the top of his hand. His hand was shaking in mine, his palm still slick with cold sweat. It was an unfortunate side effect that probably wouldn’t fade for days depending on how many times he had been hit with the cruciatus curse. I shuddered within myself just thinking about it, about Draco being tortured, minute by minute, hour by hour.

No matter how much I tried to get him to completely relax, Draco wouldn’t relent. Even in this hazy state, he was still tense, just slightly on edge, distrusting of most around him here. I wish I could blame him for being so paranoid, so worried, but I couldn’t. He has no reason to trust anyone here, save me, but he came anyway, on the verge of bleeding out, seeking refuge in a place where the majority hated him. He was so scared; I could feel the fear radiating off of his body, though he tried not to show it on the exterior. 

After we carefully turned Draco onto his back once more, I relaxed into the frame of the sofa, letting my head fall back, only inches from where Draco’s was. I still held his hand, his steady grip suggesting that he needed the support, the assurance that I was still here. It was an almost desperate gesture and I wasn’t about to let go of him when he needed me most, so I sat there, his breath hot against my ear, as he laid there on the sofa next to me. I wanted to be there for him in anyway that I possibly could, just as I’d be there for him always.

Molly had me feed him an assortment of potions as she left the room along with Hermione to greet Kingsley and Lupin, likely to explain to them the situation and what has happened in the past few hours. I was glad that when Kingsley gave his firm knock at the door with the announcement of his arrival, she hadn’t let him in here quite yet. I was grateful that she didn’t bombard Draco, who was finally permitted to get the rest he craved. My mother had left not long after, barely heading a glance in my direction as she shook her head and left without a word louder than a mumble. I know that she’s having trouble with wrapping her head around the situation, as me telling her was one thing and seeing the tale come to fruition was another thing completely. 

When we were finally left alone, I cast a silencing charm on the door so that we could no longer be disturbed by the arguing and conversations happening outside the room. I immediately helped him to change out of his now-ruined boxers and into silk pyjama pants. I dimmed the lights down, though, by the look of his drooping eyelids, Draco would fall asleep even if I shined a  _ lumos  _ in his eyes. When I stood up from the floor promptly, Draco tugged on my arm, his hooded eyes glancing up at mine with a softness that can only come with extreme exhaustion. “Where’re you going?” He says, his words almost slurred together. “Nowhere; I promise,” I say, nodding to assure him, “I was just going to transfigure the table into a cot so I don’t have to sleep on the floor.” 

He shakes his head, pulling me closer towards him. “Stay with me.” He replies huskily, his voice thick with impending sleep. He moves onto his side with much effort, offering the space to me. “Draco, I don’t want to hurt you any further. I’ll be right here.” I say, picking up my wand off the table and pointing it at the table. “You would never hurt me, Kat. I’m okay; I really am. Come here.” I sigh as he uses his free hand to gesture to the spot next to him. I look at him skeptically, frowning, but considering his offer.“I don’t want to reopen your wounds or–or crowd you or Merlin forbid I kick you in my sleep…” I trail off, biting my lip. “First off, you don’t move in your sleep, let alone kick me.” I shoot him a look as he continues speaking, “Love, you won’t. I promise I’ll be okay. Please just lie down.” He says. I stand there for a moment, contemplating what to do before giving in with a sigh. I knew he wasn’t going to just let this go. I haven’t spent a night with him since before we left Hogwarts and I was honestly itching to crawl into his arms and lie there with him. I missed him and the comfort he brought with him. The objects he’s given me, along with the tee-shirt I stole, could only compensate for so much. They helped, got me through my hardest days, but they couldn’t compare when the real thing was right here; Draco, in the flesh. They couldn’t compare to how protected I felt when he was wrapped around me, our limbs entangled. 

I wave my wand to wordlessly summon a blanket from the other side of the room, throwing it over Draco before carefully crawling in next to him, taking in his scent. He immediately pulled his arm over my midsection, pulling me in closer so that my lower back was pressed against his stomach. With my hand still in his, I crane my neck so that I can place a gentle kiss on his mouth and another on his jaw before placing my head back down to rest just next to his heart. “I love you so much, Draco.” I whisper meaningfully. His arm tightens on my waist, “I love you too,” He murmurs, “You’ve no idea how much I missed this.” A few moments later, his breath slows down as he falls asleep, puffs of air tickling the top of my head. I hold onto the sound of his heart beating, of every breath that leaves his body. I focus in on them, on the basic functions that let me know that he truly is okay, that he’s alive. Regardless of what is to come later, of what Kingsley will say, I allow myself this moment of peace, this momentary lapse of forgetting what was happening beyond the door that stood between us and the world. I give into the feeling and let it consume me for the time being, allowing it to bring me into my own slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter should be done soon, maybe not as quickly, but definitely faster than past chapters have been. 
> 
> Don't hesitate to comment or leave kudos; I love hearing feedback from my readers!
> 
> Find me on tumblr at dilemma-ed (followbacks on dil-emma-ed) for updates, previews or even just to talk.
> 
> -Em:)


	32. Chapter Thirty-Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Draco is met with hostility by the Order as they thoroughly interrogate him using veritaserum. Draco reveals where his loyalties lie.
> 
> Katherine's POV

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! So, this came a lot quicker than I thought it would and it's another big chapter.
> 
> Another BIG thank you to my beta closer-to-monkey for helping me out:)
> 
> Follow me on tumblr at dilemma-ed (followbacks on dilemmaed) for updates, previews, fic recs and general posts about Harry Potter
> 
> -Em

My eyes flutter open, taking a moment to adjust to the lighting in the room around me. As I struggle to move, I realize that I’m restricted by a pair of arms wrapped around my middle, holding me flush against a hard, familiar body. I shut my eyes and take in a deep breath, the scent of cinnamon and slightly of cologne, filling my nose making my heart swell in my chest, the blood rush in my veins. I almost smiled, knowing that he was here; regardless of anything else, just his being here was too good to be true. I wish it were under better circumstance, but I’ll take what I can get. 

I let out a content sigh, turning over in the arms that held me steadily. I wriggle away from him, just enough to look at his face. He still had a few bruises and one or two scratches on his face that still aren’t fully healed, but he looked as beautiful as ever, as peaceful as ever. All worry, all remnants of the events of the war, of his injuries, his pain, gone from his face in sleep. He didn’t have so much as a frown line in restful sleep; his face was completely relaxed in a way it could never be while awake. I was never more thankful for the existence of dreamless sleep potion. He needed this sleep more than ever. For someone who was unconscious for six days, Draco looked as if he hadn’t had a good sleep since we left school, not that I was any different. In fact, this was probably the best night’s sleep I’ve had since our last rendez-vous in the Room of Requirement.

I place a gentle kiss on his shoulder as I gaze at him. I glance down his body, checking to see if the bandages are still in place and in good condition. I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding when I see that they are. Despite Draco’s insistence, I still had a gut feeling that I’d do something to hurt him and I’m glad that I didn’t seem to. Even his knees, though his legs are tangled with mine, seemed to have improved, no longer as swollen as they were, looking as if the Skele-Gro had done its job in healing them.

I reach my hand up and brush the white-blond fringe out of his eyes gently, so as not to wake him, but I fail to do so, causing him to start to stir. His arm shifts on my body, pulling me closer to him by pressing his fingers like a latch into my waist. My fingers drift down his face, tracing his jaw as his eyes flicker open, revealing his silver orbs to me. A lazy smile spreads across his face, “How long have you been staring at me like that? It’s quite creepy, you know.” He said huskily. I return the gesture, my fingers dancing across his face to feel the softness of his lips. “Not long,” I say with a devilish grin, “Although, you do look rather adorable when you’re sleeping.” His smile fades and he scowls at me. “Never say that in front of anyone. I’m  _ not  _ adorable.” He states, trying to keep his annoyance prominent, but failing to do so as a smile slips back on his face. “You are to me.” I say, leaning up and giving him a peck on the lips. He hums in approval, resting his forehead against mine for a moment. He hovers his lips just centimetres from my own so that I could practically feel them before pulling away. “Tease.” I say with a roll of my eyes.

He brings his still shaking, although slightly less, hand up to my face, tracing it down my cheek to the tip of my chin before running his hand through my hair. I watch as he twirls a curl on his finger, his face stricken with concentration and burden. His smile disappears as he continues the motion over and over, his eyes watching it, never leaving the curl. “What happens if they don’t let me stay here? What happens if they decide that they don’t want a turncoat Death Eater here or helping them at all? What happens if–” I cut him off, putting a finger on his lips. “Draco, I promise you that no matter what happens, I’m not going to leave you. We’re together in this. I’m not going to let them separate us; if they decided for whatever unjustified reason that you can’t stay here, then I’m leaving too.” I say assuringly, nodding as he gives me an unsure look. His face relaxes the slightest bit, worry still etched into his features. I move my thumb to smooth out his brow. “I can’t ask you to do that.” He says, shaking his head, loosening his grip on my waist. I take his hand in mine, kissing his knuckles. “You don’t have to ask, Draco. I love you and I will follow you to the ends of the earth. I don’t  _ want  _ to be without you. You’re it for me.” I speak softly, running my fingers through the soft hair at the nape of his neck. 

He cranes his neck down to capture my lips on his, murmuring between kisses, “Always and forever, my love,” He sighed into my mouth, pulling on my bottom lip with his teeth gently before letting go. “Fuck, I don’t deserve you.” I pull away from him, shaking my head profusely. “Don’t say things like that. It’s not true. You deserve to be happy.  _ We  _ deserve to be happy.” I say. I sit up, helping Draco as he struggles to follow. He groans in pain, cursing under his breath at the change in position. It finally hits me that he hasn’t taken any potions since last night. “Shit, Draco. I’ll give you something for the pain. I’m sorry; I almost forgot.” He shakes his head, trying to let me know that he was fine, though I could tell by the expression on his face that he was truly hurting. I summon over the bottles, one by one, giving him the dosages he needs, from a strong pain potion to a potion to help to heal his ruptured organs and another to minimize the shaking caused by hours of torture. 

I finally settle back in next to him, his arm holding me to his side. I take his hand and turn it face up so that I could see his palm and I trace my way down stopping to rest just before his forearm. I look into his eyes, seeking permission before going any further. He gives me a brisk nod, watching me intently as I hesitate before bringing my eyes back down to his arm, to where his Mark is imbedded into his skin. The skin around it is red, irritated. There’s scratch marks in different directions on it. I take his arm in my hand as I bend my neck down so I could press my lips against the horrid mark. As I near it, I can smell the dark magic within it, burning my nostrils.

I look up to him, meeting his eyes. The silver swirled with the strife that plagued him so. He looked so ashamed of who he was, of the Mark he bore on his arm. I release my grip on his wrist, wrapping my arms around him gentle enough that I wouldn’t irritate his wounds. He reluctantly returns the embrace as I nuzzle my nose into the crook of his neck. He bends his head down, so that his forehead rests against my shoulder, placing a feather-light kiss on my collarbone as he does. He shuts his eyes, releasing a breath along with the tension he’s holding within.

I hear the floorboards creak to my right and my eyes snap open, lifting my head from Draco’s shoulder. My eyes catch on Harry, who stands a few feet from the sofa, frozen in place, his emerald eyes glancing from me to Draco. “Ever heard of knocking, Potter?” Draco drawls, retracting his arms from around me, folding them across his chest. The scowl was back on his face, his back straightened like a rod was running through it. His expression was stone cold, though he gripped onto my hand like a vice. Harry falters, struggling to find a reply, “I, um, I didn’t mean to intrude.” His eyes flick down to his feet before looking up to meet mine. His jaw was clenched and his eyes were filled with an emotion that I didn’t recognize. “It’s okay, Harry; don’t worry. We weren’t doing anything.” I assure him. He nods slightly, running a hand through his hair.

Harry hesitates, just staring at me for a moment before speaking, “Kingsley wants to see him.” He says evenly, not looking at Draco. I nod, eyeing his strange look with scrutiny. I sigh, squeezing Draco’s hand as a sign of silent support in the impending conversation. “Thank you, Harry.” I reply, giving him a small smile, “We’ll be out in a minute.” Harry swallows, giving me a curt nod before turning on his heel and leaving the room, shutting the door behind him. 

Draco furrows his eyebrows at where Harry was just standing before rolling his eyes and looking back to me with a shake of his head. I place my hand on Draco’s jaw and sigh, pressing a small kiss to his soft lips. As I move away, he pulls me back, giving me a peck before releasing me. I give him a reassuring smile as I stand up, letting go of his hand, though he tries to hold onto it. Draco grips the side of the sofa, trying to wrench himself up, but groaning as he does, falling back into the cushions. “I’ll help you. I just want to get you a tee-shirt first.” I state, reaching down for his rucksack and placing it on the table. Draco nods with a resigned snort, crossing his arms. I turn to him, “I know you don’t like having to rely on anyone, but you’ll be back to yourself soon.”

I sift through his bag, which he has aptly put an undetectable extension charm on, making it near impossible to find a shirt. After two minutes of watching me with amusement, Draco lets out a laugh, “You’re a witch, Katherine. Just give up and summon it.” I shoot him a look before muttering a wandless  _ accio,  _ bringing a long sleeved navy blue tee-shirt to my hand. “You know, if you were going to be smart about it, you could have summoned it yourself.” He smirks, “But this was so much more fun.” I chuckle, shaking my head. I toss it to him, closing his rucksack before approaching. With much difficulty, Draco manages to get his shirt on, not accepting any form of help from me, despite my insistence. 

I strap my wand into my holster, before grabbing Draco’s off the table and handing it to him, though I’m positive Kingsley will confiscate it. I think he knows too, but holding onto it is more of a sense of security than anything else. Honestly, taking his wand is a moot point, as he’s rather gifted with wandless magic. He revealed to me once that, even before he began his ‘training’, he was always advanced in that respect, much like his natural talent for occlumency. He pockets his wand in his pyjama pants, trying to move around as much as he can, eliciting sounds of ache.

Draco flexes his toes, testing his knees by bending them, releasing a resounding  _ pop _ . “Can you walk, or, you know, stand?” I ask, putting my hands out for him to take. He closes his eyes in pain and lets out a groan as he slowly and shakily moves his feet to meet the floor. “I guess we’ll find out.” He says, releasing a breath before reluctantly reaching out to take my hands. I grip on to his hands, giving him a nod as to say, ‘go ahead’. He plants his feet firmly on the ground, taking a moment, just looking down at the floor, preparing himself. He nods, mostly to himself, before pulling himself up, leaning all of his weight on me, causing me to falter on my feet. Once he’s up, he sways for a moment, as if he’s going to fall over, but I grab his forearms steadying him before he can. “I’ve got you. Don’t be afraid to lean on me.” I say, giving him a smile, trying to calm him down as he gains a frustrated expression. 

Draco hesitantly put his arm around my shoulder, resting some of his weight on me, though I could feel him holding back. “Alright, let’s get this over with.” Draco huffs, attempting to put one foot in front of the other, his knees locking up for a moment, his posture as stiff as a board. He takes his steps hesitantly, as he’s walking for the first time. I walk in time with him to the door, my hand holding his waist steady. I can practically feel him holding his breath, releasing shakily once he gains his footing. As I open the door to the rest of the house, he straightens his posture as much as possible. 

Voices fill the air as we walk, coming from a multitude of rooms. The wooden floor creaks under our weight as I guide Draco to the kitchen. We round the corner into the room, revealing hushed arguing from around. Remus stands across from where a poised Kingsley sits, his white knuckles gripping the chair, his face pink with frustration. Meanwhile, Kingsley sat calm and collected, looking unfazed by whatever Remus was saying. Arthur stands next to him, his arms crossed casually, a empathetic expression on his face as he tries to mediate. Harry stands off in the corner, his arms folded, wand in hand, leaning against the countertop. His eyes were closed as he took deep breaths, something he’s often done in the past to prevent him from boiling over. Bill stood in the corner opposite him, wand in hand, gripping it firmly. Molly was leaning over the stove, grabbing the kettle that started to whistle as we walked in, whilst my mother was not far off, sitting at the table with a mug in her hands, her posture rigid, her face a ghastly white.

Once we pass through the threshold and into the room, everybody stops, turning to face us, or more specifically, Draco. Harry’s hand tightens around his wand, his shoulders straightening as he clenches his jaw at the sight of us. I give him a look of pleading, though he doesn’t back down from his stance, he says nothing. Remus loosens his grip on the chair, removing one hand to find his pocket, likely to take hold of his wand. His head inclines towards us, scowling with distrust and hate. My mum retains her stoic expression, but after many years, I’ve learned to read her, seeing past the facade. She was clearly wary, not only of Draco, but of me as well. With that, came a pang to my chest, my grip on Draco’s hip tightening. He returns the gesture with a squeeze to my shoulder, his eyes remaining in front of him. Molly gave me a worried smile, flicking her wand to summon two more mugs from the cupboard. “When we’re done here, I want to take one more peek at those wounds.” She says, placing the mugs, now filled with tea, on the table. Draco swallowed nervously, “Of course, Mrs. Weasley.” He replies, glancing down at his feet before meeting her kind eyes once more, adding, “Thank you, for treating me.” He practically whispers the words, but the slight twitch of her lips let me know that she heard him. “No trouble dear; absolutely none.” She dismisses his thanks with a wave of her hand.

I turn to face the man sitting at the table, his hands folded in front of him as his booming voice fills the room, “Please sit, Mister Malfoy. I’d like to get this over with as quickly and painlessly as possible.” Draco hesitates for a moment before nodding, squeezing my shoulder telling me he was ready to move again. We take the few steps together before stopping in front of the places at which Molly put our tea. I help to ease Draco into his chair, but he barely lets me help, not wanting to look demasculinized by seeking aid in front of other men, primarily, the men in charge of his fate. His chest heaves from the effort it took, but otherwise, he was the picture of perfect calm. If he wasn’t holding my hand for dear life, I’d have no idea that he was nervous or scared in the slightest.

Lupin crosses the table, sliding into the chair next to Kingsley, an intimidating look in his eye that doesn’t appear too often. Arthur follows suit and Harry does the same, although his expression is softer, but his jaw is clenched. He looks at me and I offer him a smile and a look as if to ask if he were alright to which he shrugged. I sigh, giving him a concerned once-over before glancing at my mum, who sits two chairs over, stirring milk into her tea. Feeling my stare, she looks over to me for a brief moment before looking back down. “She’ll come around.” Draco whispers into my ear reassuringly, giving my hand a squeeze. I give an almost nonexistent nod as I move our entwined hands to rest on the rickety wood table between us. All of the eyes in the room flick there, until Kingsley breaks the heavy silence. 

“Rosie, do you want to take Katherine outside? She shouldn’t be here; as involved as she is, she could be a distraction.” Draco’s hand visibly tightens around mine. He opens his mouth and states, “She stays.” at the same time as I say, “I’m not going anywhere.” Standing my ground. Kingsley raises his eyebrows, “But Katherine, some of the things we must ask, we must do, aren’t going to be pleasant in the slightest and–” Draco cuts him off, “ _ She stays. _ ” He reiterates, a sharp tone in his voice. Bill takes a step forward from where he stands, preparing to draw his wand, should need be. He looked at Draco as if he were the enemy, as if he were directly responsible for the scars Greyback left on his face. I incline my head towards the man sitting in front of me, “With all due respect, Kingsley, I’m not leaving Draco alone with you. I’m staying right here.” I say firmly. He eyes me curiously for a minute before nodding, “Very well then.” He pauses, folding his hands in front of him, sitting up straighter in his chair. 

“Okay,” He says, his eyes training on Draco. “First off, hand over your wand. We can’t let you have it until we know if it’s safe for you to have it.” Draco rolls his eyes, reaching into his pocket for his wand, placing it on the table with a clatter. “Injuries aside, if I was going to kill you all, I would have done it already.” He states flatly as Remus grabs the wand, passing it over to Arthur, who hands a small bottle back to him. He places it on the table, sliding it over to Kingsley. “I want to be clear in stating that I wanted to restrain you whilst we did this, but that decision was not solely mine to make. Though, if you make one wrong move, I won’t hesitate.” Remus says, eyeing Draco distrustingly. Draco nods, retaining his expression.

“This,” Kingsley says, holding up the vial, “Is veritaserum.” This time, it’s me who grips on tighter to Draco’s hand, to which he rubs his thumb over my knuckles soothingly. “I assume you know what it does.” He unscrews the cap as Molly hands him a cup. Draco nods, swallowing hard. “One way or another, you’re going to take this potion. If you do not do as I say, I will allow Remus to wrench open your mouth and pour it down your throat.” Kingsley’s tone was collected and cool, though demanding all the same. I look at Draco and he nods to me, letting me know that he’s okay. “Hand it over.” He says without hesitating, extending his free hand to reach for the glass, now containing a perfectly measured amount of the serum. All of the men sitting across from us look surprised, as if they thought that he’d put up more of a fight instead of surrendering outright. Knowing Draco, he probably planned for this, or at least expected it. There was no hint of surprise in his face, though I could sense his fear, as his palm is sweaty in mine. 

Remus slides the glass over, careful not to touch Draco’s outstretched hand. His fingers close around the glass, pulling it towards him. He looks at me, his eyebrows raised as he takes a deep breath. He lifts the glass up to his mouth, says, “Cheers.” His tone was uneven and his nerves were more prominent on his face than they were before. He closes his eyes, releases his breath and downs the clear potion in one gulp. His pupils dilate for a moment before returning to their normal size. I take my free hand and place it on his chin, pulling him to face me. “Are you okay?” I ask, my thumb caressing his face. “Not really.” He says without hesitation, his ears turning slightly pink at the honest revelation. 

“Alright, enough.” Kingsley says, rapping his fingers on the table almost impatiently. “Let’s just get this interrogation over and done with.” I let go of Draco’s chin, instead gripping at the chain around my neck. We turn away from each other simultaneously to face the men sitting across from us. “Right, sorry.” I say, feeling my cheeks go hot. Kingsley nods, his eyes darting to Draco. “This should be simple enough if you cooperate. We ask the questions; you answer them honestly, as if you really have a choice. You’ll come to find that if you try to hold back an honest answer, it can be quite painful.” He says. 

He clears his throat, “Let’s begin, shall we?” Remus nods, folding his arms, wand in hand. “Name?” He asks, his eyes flashing with disdain. “Draco Lucius Malfoy.” Draco says coolly, without so much as a blink. “Birthdate and parentage?” Remus asks, barely leaving room for a breath between questions. “5 June, 1980; I’m seventeen. My parents are Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy née Black.” He states almost mechanically, the words flowing out of his mouth one after the other. “Are you indeed in a relationship with Katherine Creswell?” Without a moment of hesitation, Draco responds, “Yes.” Lupin’s eyes flick away for a moment, looking down at the table before meeting Draco’s again. “Were you tasked by Lord Voldemort to kill Albus Dumbledore?” He asks. “Yes.” Draco says, looking down at the table. “Did you, in fact, let his Death Eaters, including your aunt, Bellatrix Lestrange, into Hogwarts on the night of 30 June, 1997 via a Vanishing Cabinet?” Draco sighed, not looking up from the table. “Yes.” He states again. “You are a Death Eater, correct?” He pushes. Draco swallows, looking to me. “I bear the Mark, but I didn’t... want to become one. Though I took it of my own… ‘ _free will’_ … It wasn’t really a choice.” He says, shifting his fingers in mine. I rub my thumb in circles on the back of his hand gently. “What does that mean?” Kingsley presses. 

Draco shifts uncomfortably in his chair, raking his hand through his hair. “I was under coercion, or more specifically, threats. My father was in prison and the Dark Lord wanted to punish him for his failures, so he gave me a task and branded me as one of his slaves. He used threats on my life, on my mother’s life. I did it for her.” He says, the pink color returning to his ears. Kingsley nodded, gesturing towards Draco’s free arm, “Show us the Mark.” He says. I rip my hand off of the chain and slam my palm onto the table. “What does that have to do with anything! You know he’s telling the truth! He can’t lie to you!” I shout. Draco squeezes my hand, shaking his head. “It’s okay, love. I’ll show them.” I nod as he releases my hand to pull up his left sleeve. Inch by inch, he pulls up the sleeve to reveal the Mark, reddened underneath the darkness of the tattoo. Arthur’s eyes widened, pushing his reading glasses up on his nose with his fingers. “How long has it been like that?” He asked, looking at the mark curiously. Draco shrugged, “It’s never fully healed. Sometimes it’s more irritated than others. Right now is the worst it’s been. It’s burning underneath the skin, like he’s trying to call me, but he can’t reach me.” He says, shaking his head in frustration at his inability to stop his rambling. “Interesting.” Arthur says, sitting back in his chair. “What is it, Arthur?” Kingsley asked, his eyes narrowing as he examines the mark. “His body’s rejecting the Mark, the dark magic.” He says, “I’ve never seen anything quite like it.” Draco pulls his sleeve down at once, grabbing at my hand again, intertwining our fingers. 

We’re in silence for a few seconds before Harry breaks it, “Have you ever killed anyone?” I swallow, looking to Draco. He lifts his head up to look Harry in the eye. “No.” Everyone in the room seemed to release a breath they didn’t know they’d been holding, including myself. “Have you ever tortured anyone?” He asks. “Yes.” Draco breathes out. I squeeze his hand, letting him know that it’s okay. Harry doesn’t let the quiet linger, filling it almost immediately with another question, “You are a skilled occlumens?” Draco nods, narrowing his eyes at Harry with curiosity. “I am. Severus has told me many times that I’m only second to himself.” He seemed to exude arrogance from that, proud of it. “It’s the only reason why I’m still alive.” He added, his voice meeker than before. “How did you get here yesterday? More specifically, how did you get past the wards?” Kingsley asked, barely giving any time for Draco to recuperate from the last question. “I arrived by portkey; it was golden pocket watch. Severus gave it to me and he told me it would get me here and past the wards, but he didn’t tell me how. I’ve no idea really.” The men looked amongst themselves, looking confused, but intrigued. Out of them, only Harry seemed not to have any idea as to what was going on; he looked about as clueless as Draco and me. 

“Your injuries, how did you acquire them?” Arthur asks, giving Draco a once-over. Draco shuts his eyes, his jaw clenching. He lets out a shaky breath, as if it were paining him not to speak immediately. “The night of the aerial attack, I arrived at the Manor late and I lied to the Dark Lord, my aunt and my parents about where I’d been and what happened. The Dark Lord didn’t fully believe me, but also wanted to punish me for my ‘failures’. He tortured me in my drawing room for hours in front of my poor mother, using the cruciatus curse on me over and over as well as other dark curses. At the same time, he was trying to break my walls with legilimency; I could feel it, pounding against my brain. After hours of agony, he finally got in, finding out about everything I’d done and lied about. He found out about Katherine and where my allegiances lie. I fell unconscious for six days before I woke up, unable to move in my bed. My mother and Snape were there with me. He’s always had a soft spot for me, Snape. He’s my godfather, actually. He told me that I had to leave my mother there alone, at the mercy of that monster. They told me what happened, what was going to happen if I didn’t leave. I was to be made an example of as a traitor in front of all the ranks. The description was rather graphic; I’ll spare you the details. I took the portkey and it, as well as the wards, reopened the wounds.” 

I pull his face to me again so that his grey eyes are looking directly into my brown ones. “You didn’t tell me all that, Draco.” I say, a tear dripping down my face at the very thought. “I didn’t want to worry you, love.” I bite my lip to stop myself from arguing with him about it. He wipes the tear before it reaches the bottom of my face. I let go of him and he turns back to face forward. “Why  _ were  _ you late back to Malfoy Manor on the night of the aerial attack?” Bill presses. I swallow hard. Draco tries to fight the serum on my behalf, his face contorting in pain. “It’s okay, just tell them. They were going to find out eventually anyway.” He nods and releases a breath. “It was me who stunned Rookwood that night. He was going to get Granger and I just reacted. While Kingsley was distracted, she gave me the signal to follow you two back, so I did, under a disillusionment charm. I stood outside the wards, unable to get in. Granger came running back with Katherine in tow. I just wanted to see her. I couldn’t get past, but she came out to me. I didn’t stay for too long, knowing that I needed to get back, as much as I wanted to stay. It wasn’t safe for her to stay outside the wards for too long and I couldn’t get in, so we parted ways. I told the Dark Lord that I was stunned and fell off my broom not too far away from Wiltshire.” He finishes. 

All of the eyes in the room fixate on me. “Do you have no concern for your safety?! How dare you go past the wards! It’s because of this–this _piece of shit Death Eater,_ ” Bill snarls, edging closer to the table. “That you’re in this mess in the first place and you still met up with him! What if his _dear Auntie Bella_ had followed him here?! What if it was a trap! Not only would you have died, but this whole safe house would have been compromised due to your selfishness! _Unbelievable._ ” He shakes his head, scowling.  
Draco smacks his palm down on the table hard, all of the mugs shattering. “Don’t you talk to her like that, Weasley.” He growls in a low voice, loud, but still contained. “Or what, Malfoy?” He taunts, “You’ll kill me?” He lets out a sickening chuckle. “Or will you send your daddy to do it because you’re too much of a _coward_.” Draco grips the table, his nails digging into the wood as he clenches his teeth. “BILL!” I gasp, standing up from the table. “How dare you!” I exclaim, but he just shakes his head. “No, how dare _you_? Fucking a Death Eater, your father would be ashamed of you.” He said, looking me up and down one more time, angry tears in his eyes as he stormed out, slamming the door behind them. Molly runs out after him closing the door much more gently than her son before her.

I sink back down into my chair, mouth agape, staring at the spot that Bill stood only a second ago with watery eyes. I’m stricken by shock, feeling as if I can’t move from my spot. Everyone stares at me, but no one manages to say a word. Draco tries to stand up, to chase after him, but I pull him back down. He fights against me, still strong in his weak state. “I’m going to fucking kill him. Let me go, Kat.” He growls under his breath, his face angrier than I’ve ever seen it. He throws my arms off of him and he forces himself up with extreme difficulty. “Draco,” I say, my voice no louder than a low whisper. I can feel the tears flowing freely down my face, blurring my vision. I catch his forearm in my hand, pulling him towards me. His face is red with ire, his grey eyes hard, like a cool steal. “Please sit back down, love.” I whisper. “It’s not worth it.” He doesn’t move, staring past me to the door that Bill disappeared through. “ _ Please _ , Draco, sit down. I can handle him later.” I squeak. He clenches his jaw, releasing a breath through his nose. His eyes flick down to meet mine and they soften. “For me, please.” He closes his eyes, slowly unclenching his jaw as he nods. He slowly lowers himself into his chair, pulling me into him for an embrace, muttering how wrong Bill was and wonderful things about me so quietly no one else can hear. He was still tense, the anger radiating off of his body, but he was gentle all the same. He releases me, wiping my cheeks as he takes my hand in his again.

The silence is finally broken by Remus, “I’m sorry about him, Katherine. It’s the full moon soon, I’m afraid. It effects him.” I nod solemnly. Harry clears his throat, “Where  _ do  _ your allegiances lie, Malfoy? You said before that Voldemort found out where your allegiances lay. So where do they?” Draco raises his eyebrows and scowled. I squeeze his hand and he squeezes right back. “Not with that fucker; I’m sure I made that much clear.” He pauses, his jaw clenching again. “Alright,” He struggles, “ _ Fuck.”  _ He curses. “With Katherine, with our future. I’ll go where she goes. By extension, my allegiances lie here, as difficult as it is to admit to you, Potter. I guess I’m on your side now. Who would have guessed?” He says, chuckling to himself. Harry ignores his rhetorical question, a protective expression on his face. “So you have no ill intentions towards the Order?” Draco shakes his head, “Don’t get me wrong, I still don’t like you, Potter, but no, I have no ill intentions towards you or the Order.” I could tell that it pained him to admit that truth, to let Harry know it. “So by extension, you have no ill will towards Katherine?” He says, glancing towards me. “None. I love her; I do not wish to harm her.” He said, not breaking eye contact, seemingly challenging Harry, who deflates quickly at the words, crossing his arms and sinking back into his chair. “So you’ve officially defected?” Remus asks, his eyebrows raised. “Yes.” He says freely, closing his mouth as he holds back a lengthier answer, internally arguing with himself. 

“Your parents, I assume, are still loyal? I wouldn’t expect any different from them.” Remus says, muttering something under his breath about pureblood elitist arseholes. Draco shoots a glare to him, gripping the table with his free hand angrily. His eyes carried an intimidating edge about them, almost scarily protective. “My mother was never and to this day, is not a Death Eater. She’s done nothing wrong; she’s simply existed. She’s never hurt anyone. Don’t you dare group her in with those murderers and rapists.” He spits, his eyebrows knitted together. “My father, on the other hand, is still as horrible as always, though, Azkaban has made a shell out of him. He’s practically a puppet to the Dark Lord. He’s a coward and destroyed our family. I make no excuses for him.” He glances off to the side, trying to compose himself. 

“You mentioned Katherine and your future together,” Kingsley says, glancing between us. I feel my face grow warm. I interject before Draco can say anything clapping my free hand over his mouth. “It’s none of your business what our future is! Our relationship has nothing to do with this interrogation!  _ We  _ haven’t really even discussed it yet and it’s certainly no concern of yours! He’s answered all of your questions without needing to be coerced and he’s given you plenty of information!” I shout.

A feminine cough comes from my right and I glance to see my mum, who’s still sitting at the table, despite her silence. “I would like to discuss it,” She says, glancing around the room, “Though not at the present time.” I nod and open my mouth to speak, but Kingsley speaks over me. “We’re done here, I think, Rosie. If you wish, you can speak to them now. The rest of us have much to discuss.” I look down to my lap, my eyes widening. I was more terrified for this conversation than the present one. It was inevitable though. I nod, standing up, before helping Draco do the same. He leans on my shoulder as I take his waist, helping him to walk. My mum stands up as we walk past, nodding her head before following us. When we get to the doorway, I hesitate, turning back to the remaining people in the room. “I want to make this plain,” My eyes trail across the room. “If you decide that Draco isn’t welcome here, don’t expect me to stay.” With that, I turn on my heel, supporting Draco as we trudge back to the living room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter won't be up as quickly, but hopefully it'll be done soon!
> 
> As always, don't hesitate to leave comments or kudos; I love hearing feedback from my readers!!
> 
> Until next time,
> 
> -Em:)


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